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Temple Troubles


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"I'm not deranged!" Slovva protested, as he slithered and hrumphed his way to the lunchroom. "I'm just...judgmentally challenged." A sudden but loud, low rumble emanated from his tummy (which was half of his body, so it was pretty loud) and Slovva burped. "Pardon me," he said, putting his pudgy hand to his mouth just a bit too late to stop the pungent odour of old sweat socks from filtering out into the room. "Hey! Wait up!" he called as he struggled to catch up to the others. "I'm locomotively challenged, too, with out my Force! I'll report you to the Jedi Council's Anti-Discrimination panel if you eat all the Swiss string-cheese pudding before I get there!"

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"You think I look funny upside down?" Slovva let out a low, hearty chuckle and he continued hrumphing down the corridor like a seal. "Then you should see me when I'm skipping rope in the gym." His brow raised thoughtfully. "Say, you think there's a chance they're serving spaghetti in the lunchroom? It's my favourite, next to Swiss string-cheese pudding."

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The girl had her force back, she scooped it up and shoved it into her ear, giggeling. "Hooray! My force!" A strange, bt cute dance ensued, taking just long enough for everybody to walk off. She blinked realizing that once again, she was alone. Then went dashing off after the hutt she could still see the back of.

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"No," Slovva the Jedi Hutt replied to the floating upside down girl as he stopped for a breather, because it was a long way to the lunchroom and he was tired. (Without being able to use the Force, since he had lost his, it was hard to keep his momentum going.) "Aslugg is my cousin. I'm Slovva. Although, I can see how you would make the mistake. We do look a lot alike."

 

Slovva's tummy began to rumble, shaking the space around them like an earthquake. "Hungry," he said, then paused and looked curiously at the girl. "Hmmm..."

 

Slurrrrrpp! He licked her, then grimaced. "Yick! You taste like Bantha Poodoo!" With some effort, he started forward again. (It was hard for him to move from a dead start because he was fat...erm, I mean, because of his weight problem...erm, no...because.... because he was calorically challenged! Yeah, that's better.) "Sure hope there's Swiss string-cheese pudding left...." he muttered on his way.

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Slovva took in a deep breath. "Ah...." he sighed reminiscently. "Yelt dung. Brings back fond memories of home...." He grinned widely (well, considering that his mouth was very wide he couldn't help but grin that way.) "Thanks for the compliment, friend!"

 

His saucer wide eyes suddenly looked shiftily one way, then the next. "I thought I saw a blur go past. Could have been my Force that I lost." He hrumphed his way down the corridor in the direction of where he thought the blur had gone, calling out, "He-re Forcey, Forcey, Forcey...."

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Slovva came to a sudden sliding stop in the corridor just outside the lunchroom. (Well? He was ungulating quick quickly for once...)

 

His voice reverberated through the entire Jedi Temple (and quite possibly to even the suburbs of Coruscant City outside). "THERE IT IS!! MY FORCE!!" he shouted as a bluish-blackish-brownish blob bounced its way down the corridor. "GET IT!!"

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The girl spotted the bouncing ball of force, and tackled it. "I got it!" She screamed, wresteling with it, finally after a few mometns getting it under control. She carried it back to Slovva. "It's slimey." She nodded pleasantly, covered ina thin layer of Force Slime.

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Slovva nodded. "Yes. My favourite power. Force Slime." He took up the wriggling slimey ball of Force, then shoved it in his mouth.

 

"Mmm-ah-mmm," he mumbled as his tongue wrestled with the slime oozing ball of Force. Then with a mighty gulp and gurgle, he swallowed it whole.

 

"Ah, that's much better." He patted his tummy. Then burped. "Oh. Pardon me."

 

With his Force back, he was now able to leviate himself. "Hop on my back," he said to the girl. "I'll give you a lift to the lunchroom. Can't wait for that Swiss string-cheese pudding...."

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"I'm more looking forward to the French pickle juice tacos," Karina said. She looked back at Eltrab, who was still slamming his head into the pillar. Finally, it cracked.

 

"Great pickle juice supreme pieface!" he screamed. "My head is hard!"

 

"Did he just call me a pieface?" Karina asked, looking almost ready to cry.

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Slovva's eyes widened in shocked horror. "Pie? You mean, they are already serving dessert?" He picked up the pace, using Force speed to whiz through the corridors on a beeline for the lunchroom counter.

 

Unfortunately, because his Force wasn't totally digested yet, he got a cramp in his tail from the exertion. (Remember, one should always wait 20 minutes after eating before engaging in any Forceful exercise.) His tail, acting like a jammed rudder, careened his bulky mass directly into the serving line.

 

"Lo-ook o-out!" he cried, but it was too late. He slammed into the buffet and could only watch helplessly as the Swiss string-cheese pudding flew up in the air, mixing with the pickle juice taco meatballs, and creating a.... well, creating a mess really.

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"Food fight!" Eltrab screamed. He hefted a small piece of something blue and stopped. "Hey, wait..." Turning to the food fighting crowd, he yelled, "ORDER! ORDER IN THE COURT... er... the FOOD COURT, that is..."

 

Everybody turned to stare at him and he held the blue thing in the air. "Has anybody eaten some of this?"

 

Half the cafeteria raised their hands. Eltrab stood there, eyes wide, looking very sad. Then, he burst into tears and wails.

 

"Noooooooooooooooooo!" he screamed. "My pretty little blue loveable fuzzy hairball of a Force is dead!"

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Tears immediately gone, Eltrab stood up. "I must buy another!" he announced. "Have fun with the food fight, my friends I never met before a few minutes ago!"

 

He ran out of the cafeteria and Karina turned to the others. "Oh, I know where he's going. The Force store! You know, that ugly little hole in the wall down on the first floor of the Temple? I'm gonna go with him. I always wanted to see the inside of that creepy little place."

 

Running after Eltrab, she yelled, "Wait up!"

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The girl, who by the by was name Cae, was happily throwing things at people from Slovva's back when she heard about the party heading down to the force store. "Slovva! We have to go, C'mon" She tugged at him, as if he was some sort of thing she could steer toward the door. "They sell force fuzz, and maybe even force slime there!"

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