Daft Adidas Posted January 21, 2007 Share Posted January 21, 2007 Star Wars In A world of Darkness Prologue Tiso Ark is one of the most caring Jedi in the temple. He is only a padawan and is in love with Siya Lon. His Master Ken is loyal and they have trusted each other for ever. Tiso has now found a best friend who is also a padawan who recently joined the temple but terrible things are to come when a new war find its way to the Galaxy and Dark Jedi try to take over. Chapter 1 will come soon maybe even today if i have the time to check it over. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daft Adidas Posted January 22, 2007 Author Share Posted January 22, 2007 Chapter 1 I'll Miss You "Why do you have to go?" asked his friend Siya. "He's gone mad" replied Tiso. "Then let him go mad!" shouted Siya. "He's a threat to the Council and the New Ruebublic he want's to know who killed his father" said Tiso more quietly. "What about Ken he told you not to go after him!" she exclaimed. "Then that's a risk I must take" he said boarding his ship. "You can't leave!" she shouted. "Why?" "Because, I love you" she said. Tiso's jaw dropped. "You love me?" "I always have and always will!" "I love you too and WILL return." "Are you going to kill him?" she asked. "I hope not the force will decide." He jumped into the ship and kissed her on the lips. "Please return the council needs you!" "I will, don't worry Siya" he said. He flew off with tears pouring down Siya's face. "I love you!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grey Master Posted January 22, 2007 Share Posted January 22, 2007 Nice short chapter, Aida! Another story that involves war, then there will be some action I hope, and I like those two things, so I hope to read more of your worK!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daft Adidas Posted January 22, 2007 Author Share Posted January 22, 2007 Thank you the next chapter takes several months BEFORE that event during the clone wars before the two found out they loved each other. This was short the rest is long! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daft Adidas Posted January 22, 2007 Author Share Posted January 22, 2007 Chapter 2 First Assignment Three Months Earlier "Tiso the council has asked us to meet us for your first Assignment and you'll be with me." "I'm exited Master, i hope to be like you." "Oh young padawan you already are." ------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------------ "Tiso hold up!" shouted Siya from down a corridor. "I'm in a hurry Siya i'll speak later." "Ok meet me at Rex's cafe ok?" "Yes." He hurried along and they bowed to Yoda and Mace Windu and the other Jedi. "We have an assignment for you and your padawan Tiso" said Yoda. "Our capital ship above Mygeeto is under attack by the seperatist's droids." "They have captured our Jedi Aiya Morken and he is going to be killed tommorow if we do not give up Mygeeto." "Rescue him try not to cause trouble." "Yes, Master Yoda we'll be on our way." "Good, now hurry." Tiso forgot about Siya and flew up into space with his Master leaving her waiting and held up. ---------------------------------- ---------------------------------- "Ok we've got fire from a Droid frigate to the left ignore it and get into the ship." Tiso could see fire everywhere and ships blowing up and more fire it was chaos. "Master this is dangerous" he said worried. "Do not worry my Padawan the force is strong with us." The shields are still up he said pointing. "Don't worry." They fired at ship's key points and they entered skidding and they jumped out. "Look Jedi!" shouted some droids. Ken took care of them. "Let's take the stairs they'll expect us to take the lift." "I agree." They ran up and Tiso asked. "Where is Aiya?" "I sense the top floor near the bridge." "Where are the clones" he then asked. On their way don't worry Padawan we are safe. They came to the next flight and peered round. "Let's ignore these droids." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daft Adidas Posted January 23, 2007 Author Share Posted January 23, 2007 Chapter 3 Kroyt They ran across the corridor and the droids didn't notice them. They listened.... "Where were the Jedi last seen?" asked one. "In the hangar." another replied. "Let's check the lifts" said the commander. "Roger, roger!" The droids ran away and they continued along the corridor. "I've got an idea" said Ken. He ran into a room and fiddled around with the lift to lock the doors. "If they're locked they'll think we're in there" he said. "Nice plan" said Tiso peering round to see if it was ok to go. "It's clear" he said. Tiso was always was a worried one, very cautious. They were familliar with the ship after all it was their own cruiser. --------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------- Siya waited and waited. "Where is he?" she said to herself. She got up and left Rex's cafe and walked to the Temple. She said to the guard.... "I'm looking for Tiso and Ken are they here?" she asked. "No, they've gone on a mission to save Jedi Master Aiya Morken they should be back soon, hopefully." "Thank you." "He could have at least told me" she said to herself again. -------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------- "We're almost there padawan he's in that room over there" he said peering round the corridor." "Don't worry only two super battle droids, I can handle them" he said proudly. "I can sense there will be ALOT more than two supers i may even sense sith." "Master I can't take on a sith" he said worried. "You are strong Tiso and will have no problems so concetrate, focus." They jumped out ingiting their lightsabers. Ken's green and Tiso's blue. "Jedi!" shouted the battle dorids. Tiso blocked fire back and the droids fell. "It has a code we'll have to break in" Ken said looking at Tiso. "Are you ready?" he asked. "I'm ready for anything Master." "Let's go." They stabbed their lightsabers in the door and made a circle which then fell and they climbed through. "Intruders, intruders!" An alarm rang out and the dorids turned round. "Jedi!" The droids fired their pathetic blasters at Tiso and Ken who easily blocked it all. "Get Kroyt!" shouted one dorid. "Tiso stop that droid!" Jen shouted. Tiso ran forward blocking some fire and cut the droid in half but the sith had already sensed the happenings. "It's too late Tiso I think he's coming!" shouted ken motioning for Tiso to come back. Tiso cut up a few droids and then some destroyers rolled in. "A good blast on the shield will do it Tiso!" shouted ken. Tiso forced jumped and stabbed his sabre in the ground and the droids shields disappeared and were then killed. "Let's get Aiya he's up there!" shouted Tiso. "Tiso now!" but Tiso didn't listen. He cut the chains wilth his sabre and then Aiya kicked him. "That's not Aiya!" Suddenly the body changed and the hair turned black and he grew taller and thinner. Then his face merged into an evil look. "Darth Kroyt" spat Ken. "I see you have an apprentice Master Ken" he said smirking. "Yes, a far more wiser one too" he said winking at Tiso. "It's been ten years Ken, ten long ones." "So what did you do" after killing half the younglings?" Ken asked frowning. "I've been here and there" he said. "Killed a few and saved a few but you don't have to say like this Kenny." "Stay like what?" said Ken raising his eyebrow. "Stay like a Jedi, join me!" "You must be joking" spat Ken, "This time you WILL lose!" "Tiso, now!" Tiso ignited his lightsaber and attacked Kroyt but unluckily his enemy managed to block it with his two red sabres. Ken then charged and force jumped over Kroyt and then swung an attack at him. "You lose Ken" said Kroyt with a laugh. He struck lightning at Ken and it hit him hard he flew back. and hit the wall. "Now Padawan you shall meet the same fait!" he souted. "Noooooooooooooo!" shouted Tiso and he made some quick and clever attacks. "Nice moves but not good enough!" he force pushed Tiso onto the ground and then pointed one sabre at his neck. "Now you die!" "Leave him be!" shouted a voice and someone called Aiya charged and cut of Kroyt's left hand. "How did you escape!" "The force us stronger than any chain" Aiya said and force pushed Kroyt against the wall and he was unconsious. They looked over at Ken who was slowly getting up. "Now we should get out of here!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daft Adidas Posted January 24, 2007 Author Share Posted January 24, 2007 Oh please someone comment i feel that this is my best fic and only 1 person has commented. Chapter 4 Getting out of there They ran out of the room and made a quick call to the council. "We've rescued Master Aiya but we can't leave our own ship under droid control!" said Ken. "Then take over the bridge and fly back down to Coruscant's biggest hangar at the East Junctions." replied Master Yoda. "Yes, Master Yoda." They turned a corridor and came to the door going into the bridge. Ken stabbed his lightsaber in the door and cut it open where they met fire from droids. "Jedi!" there were small robot cries and all where cut up. The bridge was big and seemed confusing to Tiso as there were so many controls however Aiya and Ken knew how to control such ships. "This is a big ship and will be hard to control when hitting the atmoshere." said Aiya pressing a button. The ship slowly turned round and an explosion knocked them it was from the frigate. "Tiso man the ships most powerful side cannon and take that out" said Aiya. Ken then asked. "There are alot of droids on the ship and when we land what will we do with them all?" "We'll send fake orders to make them come of the ship where some clones and Jedi we'll deal with them hopefully no one will be hurt" repled Aiya. Tiso locked onto the frigate's bridge and fired two heavy shots. He could see the damage through the scope. Then the frigates cannons started firing right at him. "Hmm" he mumbled and then turned on the homing device amd used free aim. He closed his eys and fired. He then opened them and saw the missile go towards the ships communications system and it shut them down. "No reinforcements for them" he laughed. "Uh, oh" he said. A rocket was heading towards him. He ran away from the cannon and it blew up behind him he then manned another. Some droid fighters were then heading towards the hangar and the shields were down. He got of the cannon and ran towards the hangar control systems and turned the shields on and he activated the auto turrets. He then got back on the cannon and tried to fire at the frigate but the ammo was out then he saw several homing rockets heading for the bridge. He got up and ran. He could hear a lot of fire and and was so afriad he slipped. He picked himself up and skidded to a halt at the bridge. "Rockets are heading this way!" he shouted anxiously. "Come on" he then said. He ran as the two masters followed and they were thrown onto the ground by the explosion. They ran back to the bridge but there was no way of controlling the ship now and it was slowly falling. "We need to get to the hangars and escape" Aiya shouted. "The droids will be there too" added Master Ken. They ran out and found almost all the droids there running at their ships. Aiya jumped out and ignited his blue lightsaber same to Tiso's and he jumped in a droid fighter and managed to escape. Ken and Tiso were covered in droids. They force jumped into the Jedi Starfighters and flew off after Aiya to be followed by droids. Aiya made a loop and headed downwards towards Coruscant. "Watch out droids!" Ken shouted over his comlink. Tiso slowly edged closer to his Masters ship and then made a dive turning direction to face the droids and he blasted a few. "Tiso, get back!" shouted his Master. "Sorry." he mumbled. He then raced after his two Jedi friends. "We're in now, head to the Temple's docking bay, now!" They were racing over building tops closley followed by the droids. Many droids crashed who couldn't cope with the fierce race. "There's the temple!" shouted Aiya but then a droid locked onto him and fired a missile blowing him up. Tiso was speechless and watched the Jedi's broken ship fall to the ground. Their ships skidded to a halt at the bay and they jumped out with sabers ignited. A fighter raced towards Tiso firing and he had trouble delfecting it. He threw his saber at the rear window and the fighter crashed. The next few fighters parked their ships but were taken care of by Ken. Tiso was worn out and fell to the ground panting... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KotO[REvan] Posted January 27, 2007 Share Posted January 27, 2007 Alright, let me say what I think about this: 1. The first chapter was... corny. Seemed short, and kind of rushed. 2. "Look Jedi!" shouted some droids. Ken took care of them. Some advise to making this RPG a little more exciting, is to be more descriptive with your posts. Then stead of saying "Ken took care of them." try explaining how he did so. Forced them to be pushed away, sliced them into bits, etc. 3. Also there were a lot of grammar errors, and some spelling mistakes, but I can tell that you're improving in these areas. So a little more practice and you've got it. And that's all I have to say about this. The storyline is good, just gotta improve on those areas. Keep it coming! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daft Adidas Posted January 27, 2007 Author Share Posted January 27, 2007 Chapter 5 Antoher day in Coruscant A few hours later Tiso was walking down the dusty streets of Coruscant there was never a dull moment. Two zabraks came out fighting each other from a bar. They were speaking a different language. "Ek so imo!" "Ech i!" One of the zabraks came away and pointed a blaster down at the other. He shot him and he walked away and there were onlookers frm the bar. He was in thought about some stupid things then he thought. "Siya!! he shouted aloud. He ran to the cafe in hope she would be there but no sign. "Hmm her house" he then mumbled. He ran VERY fast and there were shouts and screams. "Watch it!" He saw blurs of shops and bins and people as he ran by and he took a sharp turn slipping and grazing his knee. He took in the pain and slowly got up and then walked to her house. Some minutes later he stopped by her house and rang the doorbell. "Who is it?" shouted Siya. "Tiso" he replied. "Oh." she opened the door. "You could have at least told me you was on a mission!" she shouted. "I'm sorry it was urgent!" "How urgent?" she smartly said. Tiso looked at the ground, sighed and then looked at her. "One of our Masters was held hostage by a sith called Darth Kroyt ok?" "Well, i forgive you ok." she said. "Now i'm tired i need to go to bed see you tommrow" she said closing the door lightly. Tiso had a feeling he kept inside him. It was love. In some ways it was forbidden to Jedi but he couldn't help it he had feelings for Siya since he first met her a few years ago. He decided to go back to the temple and see what's up. "Ah Tiso come here" said Master Ki Adi Mundi who was a well known Jedi in the council." "We have a new Jedi coming to the temple he's called Heme and has come from the Jedi Academy in Coronet, maybe you can show him around and show him where everything is." "Cool where is he?" Tiso asked with excitement. "There." pointed Ki Adi. He walked over to the Jedi who was looking at the wall. "Exuse me?" Tiso asked. "Are you Heme?" "Yes why?" "I'm Tiso welcome to the council i've been asked to show you around." "Ok thanks" Heme said showing a smile. Through a long time Tiso showed Heme the bathroom which for no reason Heme found amusing, the council chambers which he was fasinated by the office which was nothing special and the Meditation room which he liked and he even sat their for a while but Heme had to get used to the big temple as their were many, corridors, rooms and more he also liked the Library alot. They went round the temple three times and the yahd very aching legs! After a few hours Heme knew the Temple from the back of his hand and left to go to his home. "Oh and thanks for showing me around" Heme added. "No problem see you tommrow!" Tiso called back. He soon went home and drifted off to sleep thinking about Siya but then he sensed very, very dark things........ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrPhil2501 Posted January 30, 2007 Share Posted January 30, 2007 Niiiice Chapter! A few grammar errors, but very nice! Although, what I think you should have done was describe what Heme looked like and many other characters, otherwise my low standard human brain would have to describe it for me. and believe me I hate it when that happens! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daft Adidas Posted January 30, 2007 Author Share Posted January 30, 2007 No problemo thanks for the comments next chapter coming soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daft Adidas Posted January 31, 2007 Author Share Posted January 31, 2007 Chapter 6 Murder Strikes For three weeks Heme and Tiso made good friends and had done alot of fun things. They had to find a bounty hunter troubling the Temple who made murder attacks and they had fun chasing after him while Ken couldn't catch up and so much more fun and games untill the First day of March Tiso found something terrible. Tiso was going to the bathroom after having a play sword fight with Heme and he heard a scream from the girls bathrooms. He skidded to a halt and ignited his lightsabre and kicked the door open to find a dead body on the floor. No one else was there and it seemed impossible for the killer to escape so quickly. He deactivated his lightsabre and ran to Heme. "Heme!" shouted Tiso and Heme turned round his bushy brown uncut hair swaying. "What?" he grunted after losing the sword fight. "There's someone dead in the girls toilet!" Heme chuckled and fell onto the floor laughing. "That's funny, the girls toilet what you doing in there and your not serious right?" he asked Heme's smile turning straight. "No, i'm serious come!" shouted Tiso and they ran, tall Heme running fast and small Tiso struggling behind. They burst through the door and the body was gone. "That's not funny" said Heme and he walked off. "Fine!" shouted Tiso, "But i'm going to see Master Fira!" He ran to the meditation room and interupted the silence. "Master Fira, there's a dead body in the girls toilet I heard a scream and i went in and a girl was dead I told Heme and when we got their the body was gone." Master Fira looked up he was a bothan man with dark brown fur and he said, "This is serious but who was this girl?" he asked. Tiso thought for a minute and then said, "Gemma, i'm sure of it." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrPhil2501 Posted February 2, 2007 Share Posted February 2, 2007 Very good. I'm looking forward to more. Keep it up! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daft Adidas Posted February 3, 2007 Author Share Posted February 3, 2007 Chapter 7 To start a search "Tiso I will go to Aily, see where she last saw Gemma they are great friends, you go get Heme and tell him that you and him have to infrom Great Master Drake about this terrible happening and then we will meet up outside the toilets" explained the master and Tiso ran off. "Heme, Heme!" Tiso shouted at the top of his voice. Heme slowly truend around and said, "What this time a Gizka blew up the toilet?" he mocked. "No, we need to see Great Master Drake and tell him about the happenings, I was ordered to go with you!" The two ran down the hallway and up the main stairs and stopped outside two big doors with two brute guards." "It's urgent we need to see the Master!" The brutes opened the door and they walked in. The chair swung round from the table and an old man with a small beard and long hair looked at them. They bowed. "Something terrible has happened, Gemma Atkinson has been killed in the girls bathrooms I heard a scream and I went in and...." Drake stopped Tiso by putting his hand up. "I can see where your going I sensed something so terrible too and we must see the Security Holo images." The three walked fast back and waited for Master Fira but he didn't come so they went in and pulled a disk out of the camera and they played it. A hooded figure jumped through the window and put black paper of the camera and they could see no more a few minutes later there was a scream and they heard a body crumple. After that there was a bursting thorugh doors that was Tiso and then he ran off. There was a click and they could hear that the hooded figure was back and he whispered, "You're a heavy girl seeing that your dead." They could hear the window shut and a few minutes later Tiso and Heme ran in and there was another voice. "That's not funny." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CSI Posted February 3, 2007 Share Posted February 3, 2007 I can't believe I missed this nice fic. [Growls] However, I didn't have time to read the whole fic, but I read the last chapter of this fic. Nicely done, sir. And is Drake as wise as Yoda or Luke? To be a Grand Master, he has to be as wise as them...Just my opinion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daft Adidas Posted February 3, 2007 Author Share Posted February 3, 2007 yeh Nihilus he is just as wise, i'll put that in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daft Adidas Posted February 5, 2007 Author Share Posted February 5, 2007 Chapter 8 Ron Two days later "She's dead?" said Siya her mouth almosy hitting the floor. "I'm afraid so" replied Tiso taking a sigh. He took her hand and she snatched it away. "Do not EVER do that again!" she shouted at Tiso sternly. "Sorry." "I saw her about a week ago we was at a party and she had to go early because she was sick, that's the last I heard of her" Siya stated. "I know you two were close friends I just thought you might know something" Tiso said getting up with his pad and pen and crossing Siya's name and writing last seen a week ago. "It's good of you to put up this search, I hope you find out who it is" Siya said also getting up. "Bye" Tiso said hurrying out the door, he was upset about Siya shoting at him. Tiso had set up a search and had interviewed everyone in the Temple and council and also her friends. "Life can be very depressing" Tiso said to himself when just that second Heme came out of nowhere. "Any good?" Heme asked with a light smile. "Nothing" groaned Tiso. "How many left?" Heme then asked. "One, it's Ron the former sith teen who came to the Jedi, I don't trust him." "Let's go then." Half an hour later "Hi Ron we're making a search about Gemma Atkinson's death in the temple." Ron had dark black hair and was a short small teen one year younger than Tiso and Heme he also had an amusing spot on his nose! "Why should I know I was on Tatooine on a training trip with my master I only learnt about it today" he groaned and got up. "Ok then" said Tiso sighing, "You can go." "Well that's crap!!" shouted Tiso and it echoed around the hall. "Real crap!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daft Adidas Posted February 6, 2007 Author Share Posted February 6, 2007 Chapter 9 It wasn't her! One week later Nothing much had happened Tiso had given up in hope who had killed Gemma Atkinson and he didn't turn up at the funeral that day because he was ill probably with all the thinking. He was walking down the road about to grab some food when a Flashing Speeder parked outside Siya's house. It was a bit like Coruscant Police Dep Speeders but..... darker? Three hooded figures jumped out armed with heavy blasters. "Open up now!" they shouted and the curtains slowly opened and Siya's face was certainly shocked. She opened the door and two grabbed her, shoved her arms behind her back and pulled out some cuffs then they locked her hands together after that they threw her in the speeder. "Hey!" shouted Tiso and he grabbed Siya's speeder and raced after them. The dark men flew high up into the sky right into lots of traffic but Tiso was close behind them. Then out of nowhere the speeder stopped and Tiso went right past them but made a U turn and slowly gained back up on them. "Siya!" he called over the whizzing sounds of air traffic. She looked behind and she now had her mouth covered. He then jumped from her speeder onto theirs and another flyer hit her speeder and it set fire and swirled down through the sky then blowing up. Tiso ignited his brilliant blue sabre and threw a swipe at one of the hooded figures to his horror it ignited a red. He was better than them though. He force pushed one onto the side of the speeder and it dropped its sabre and hung onto the edge but Tiso cut it's fingers and the strange dark figure fell. Two more to go but Tiso easily took the next out with one swipe. He grabbed the possible sith lords lightsabre and swung at the next who dodged and grabbed Siya threatning to throw her off. He stayed still for a minute and then suprisingly threw the red sabre at the figure and it was slit in half and fell but Siya almost did too but good old Tiso grabbed her and pulled her up. He uncovered her face and cut her cuffs in half. "Sorry about the speeder" he said. "That's ok thank you so ever so much for saving me" she said sitting down. "Well we need to see the council they'll deal with this matter." Don't worry the chapters will get longer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daft Adidas Posted February 7, 2007 Author Share Posted February 7, 2007 Chapter10 Sith? Later that day "Sith?" said Drake his mouth wide open. "Are you sure young one?" he asked confused. "Probably they had red..." "No, any person could have a red sabre you said they were not very good?" said Drake. "Not not at all" chuckled Tiso. "This is no laughing matter Tiso" he sternly said then looking at Siya he said. "Is their any reason you might know for why they tried to illegaly arrest you?" "I have no idea" Siya softly said. "My guess is they have tried to arrest any old person so that it will look like they did not do it and there was nothing to worry about, murderer caught" Drake said sighing. The next day Siya had recovered from the events and Tiso was on his way to tell Ken about the happenings. "Did you hear about Siya? and the murder of Gemma andt he fake sith and er everything else?" Tiso said rushed. "Calm down Tiso, yes I have heard this is worrying, I was informed while on Fego." "Did you get him,?" asked Tiso. "If your talking about Bons" who was a betrayer to the Council, "Yes but Rans, no." Rans was also a betrayer. "Ok, well i'm going to check on Siya, bye" said Tiso running off without giving Ken a chance to say bye. He knocked on the door. It slowly opened and Siya let him in. "I'm just checking to see if your ok" said Tiso. "I'm fine just a bit of a shock that's all" she replied. Then there was some kicking on the front door and they froze. Tiso looked outside and saw at least ten hooded figures armed. "There here again" he whispered. Siya got behind her chair and grabbed a blaster from a drawer and Tiso ignited his blue lightsaber and used the force to open the door. The figures dropped their blasters and pulled out red and yellow sabres. "Oh no!" Tiso shouted and he force pushed them onto the floor. Siya popped her head over and fired a shot hitting one figure killing it. Tiso ran outside closed the door and took the battle to the streets. Many normal pedrestrians were scared to bits and ran for their lifes and Tiso was very worried to facing nine of these things. He jumped at one engaging in a lock but he flung his lightsabre away and sunk it into the oppenent's heart. He flipped backwards with force jump then he slowly lifted up the speeder up and crushed it ontop of three of them. Five left. A window from the second floor opened and Siya fired some shots down below. The sith deflected them firing it back at Siya who ducked several times. Siya made a distraction for Tiso who charged at them when they were deflecting and one by one they fell. Siya ran down the stairs and out of the door looking at the dead bodys. Then Coruscant Police Dep showed up and unhooded the figures. It was horrific. They were an unknown species. Never seen before. They had small dry grey faces wrinkled up and tiny noses and eyes. They had small tufts of brown hairs on their head and a terrible smell. The last one they unhooded was human and Tiso identified him. It was Rans one of the Sith he found a hard challenge. This suprised Tiso, how did he take out a Master Sith Lord and Ken couldn't? So Rans was involved with this and why did they keep trying to arrest Siya? Were they even apart of Gemma's death? Was Coruscant Police Dep just fake too? There were many small questions but two big ones. Who killed Gemma and why where these horrific monsters trying to kill or arrest Siya? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daft Adidas Posted February 8, 2007 Author Share Posted February 8, 2007 I do wish a few more people could comment. Anyway........... [Chapter 11 A Second Strike Three weeks later..... The species were named Samors they spoke their own Samon language which was like dark burbling. Not much had happened in the three weeks it was very boring just full of worries. More were to come......... Tiso was in the meditation room and he heard a small muffle and then he sensed danger. He slowly got up and creeped out the door. He walked down the thin corridor and it got darker and darker and darker. He was very scared at this point and stopped without taking a breath. He put his back against the wall and peered through the keyhole of a door. A red lightsabre was flashing around and there was Grand Master Drake tied up on a chair his lightsabre behind his chair. The figure was hooded and Tiso could see the glimmer of red eyes. He felt like he had met this person before. Who had red eyes who he knew? The world seemed to circule around him now and he fell onto his knees and he lay down trying to calm himself. He got up and heard Drake muffle. "Whob ark youu?" he struggled to say. The figure dropped his cloak and he could see the face now. It was Darth Kroyt. "I thought I taught him a lesson" he whispered to himself. Kroyt raised his sabre and was about to plunge it into Drake when the door blew open and shattered to pieces. Tiso had used force explosion normally forbidden to jedi but he was angry. Kroyt turned round and chuckled. Tiso looked a the security camera. There was a black patch over it. He peeled it of and stood in it. It was silent. He then suddenly ignited his blue sabre and cut the ropes on Drake's chair and pulled of the cover of Drake's mouth and charged at Kroyt. He force pushed Tiso at the wall and he banged his head hard. Tiso couldn't see very well but he could see well enough. Kroyt walked around Drake and then cut him in half. Tiso felt sick the leader of the Jedi Council was dead. He had had that honour for fifteen years and it was shattered by some sith. He acted as if he had been knocked out and Kroyt walked towards him. "Now to kill this annoying je......... ahhhhhhh!" Tiso kicked him in the private parts and struck his lightsabre into Kroyt's keg. "Enough is enough Kroyt, your not killing anymore innocent people!" shouted Tiso he flung his lightsabre into Kroyt's arm. "Don't kill me, I am unwell, sick!" he moaned. "I can see that!" Tiso shouted. "Well let I'll tell you something young jedi!" he spat. "I didn't make the first murder, it was another sith! Heros! He was a poor sith anyway but he's still alive, glad to see the back of me, you see we are going to send a different sith every month!" Tiso felt more sick. "How many sith do you have in the galaxy?" Tiso asked suprisingly. "Ha, ha ha!" Kroyt asked. "Me, Heros and Var are the originals and were were cloned! There are twenty million of us! It only took us a few hours to clone one batch!" Kroyt laughed. He then rolled over on the floor and punched it. He rolled back and looked up at Tiso. "How much is one batch?" Tiso asked trembling. "One hundred" Kroyt said. "I'll tell you all you want, I wanted to be alone but Heros forced me to come to the temple. We are constantly cloning and have been doing it for ten years!" "Then where's the sith temple, do you keep them all there?" Tiso asked. "We keep them all there, it's massive you'd get lost there!" You can't take em all out!" "I've learnt enough" Tiso said raising his sabre. "You're going to kill me?" he whined. "After all I told you!" Tiso spat on his face and dug his sabre into Kroyts chest. He knelt beside Drake. A tear fell down his face. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Catto Posted February 9, 2007 Share Posted February 9, 2007 Just read what is of this fic and a very well done job. You have improved incredibly since the first one, excellent work! Can't wait for the next chapter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daft Adidas Posted February 9, 2007 Author Share Posted February 9, 2007 thank you Mr BFA yes i agree my first fic was.... Nect chapter will be 2night or tommorow depending on the time I'll have to check it over. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daft Adidas Posted February 12, 2007 Author Share Posted February 12, 2007 Chapter 12 Putting yourself in danger Two days later That day when Drake died Tiso grabbed the security recordings and showed them to Master Lyla a Jedi Master and she was a girl with very long black hair, quite pretty. Then the two days later they had already made a funeral and here it was ready and Tiso and Heme were there dressed for the occasion in their best robes. "He was a good man" whispered Tiso walking along beside the coffin. "Yeah, so we know it's the sith and that they are cloning themselves?" Heme asked still whispering. "Yeah, um I have a plan it's dangerous but should work maybe." "Tell me after the funeral." Heme whispered back. After the funeral "What was the idea?" Heme asked anxiously. "Well I have to see Siya first about something more important, I'll tell you tommorow." He rushed off. He was outside Siya's house and he rang the doorbell. "Tiso? What is it? The funeral?" "No, it's er about Gemma I need to see her family, what's the address?" Siya ran upstairs and rumaged through aload of wardrobes and cases and came out with a little note. "1026 Nemer Street South East Coruscant, go for it!" Tiso was off again and soon he found the address and knocked on the door. "Who are you?" the mother asked. "I'd like to talk about your daughters death I'm Tiso, who found her." "Oh come in" she said then closing the door. "Do you have any ideas, or clues why the sith killed her?" Tiso asked. "Yes!" said the father. This shocked Tiso. "This family are Jedi, always have been always will be and one day she turned to the sith we don't know why." Tiso was scribbling down notes about this. "She became one of the most powerful Sith ever and then turned back to the Jedi two months ago, so they killed her!" The father said almosr crying. "Now go, I don't want to talk about it!" shouted the mother and Tiso was rushed out of their home. The next day Tiso had given in his notes to Master Lyla and he then told Heme his plan. "Exactly Three weeks on from Gemma's death Grand Master Drake died. Also he died in the same hall as Gemma I was only three doors away from the girls toilets. In the next three weeks I will wrap myself up on a chair and wait for the sith to come, in that hall but in one of the rooms, Drakes death room." "That is dangerous, but I'm coming with you!" "Sure? Tiso asked. "Yep" Heme replied. Heme seemed a little happy latley that was because his dad came to the temple who was also a Jedi to meet him and join the temple! Except too many sinister things were to come. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Catto Posted February 13, 2007 Share Posted February 13, 2007 Overall, a reasonably well done chapter, im interested to see whether Tiso's plan will succeed. Oh, and btw ... i think it would be safe to erase then end part of Master Lyla's description. After all, 'Lyla' is a girls name, and i don't know any guys having girls names. (Well, apart from Jane in the show Firefly that is) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daft Adidas Posted February 13, 2007 Author Share Posted February 13, 2007 ok Mr BFA thanks i'm glad your following my fic. Next chapter probably tommrow or after. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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