[Fic] A "Thrilling" Duel (Badfic #6)

[Tysyacha]

[Note: All immaturity in this fic is completely and shamelessly intentional.]

 

"My sister! Atton Rand is here, and he is leering at our gigantic

disproportionate Twi-lek mammaries! Let us kill the fool quickly."

 

"Hey! Why don't you two come over here and order an 'Atton-tini'?"

 

(The Twin Suns, notorious assassins sent to eliminate the companions

of the Jedi Exile, start slashing at Atton with their double Ryyk Blades.)

 

"Ow! Ow! Sheez! I think I'll run behind the bar and shoot you." (Does so.)

 

"That is a keen strategy. We will outwit you by just standing here."

 

"Huh? Why is it so easy to hit you broads? You're just standing there."

 

"Our strategy is to stare at you with our arms poised in pseudo-kung-

fu positions until you wear down the 3 energy shields we've equipped

and all of our medpacs as well." (The Twin Suns stare.) "Surrender!"

 

(Atton continues shooting.) This is like killing bantha fodder bales.

 

"Owww! Your sniper rifle seems to be very well-equipped. We must

power up another energy shield and use one medpac each." (They do.)

 

"Aren't you girls going to try and run behind the bar and hit me?"

 

"Oh, no. Our stares are deadlier than--oops, forgot to use my medpac."

(One of the Twin Suns falls down, disappearing to reveal her Ryyk

Blade.) "I may have vanished now, but I will reappear again on

Goto's yacht. You're supposed to have killed me, but you didn't."

 

"Huh? What the !@#$? If you vanish and leave a weapon, you're dead."

 

"Not so. Plus, I will have another Ryyk blade when I reappear." (Fades.)

 

"I will stand here, just as my sister has, and stare until you die."

 

"Honey--you're dumber than a tanked-up Gamorrean on juma juice."

 

"Hey! No one said that when a computer game is rushed in order to

augment its release in time for the Earthling holiday season, every

character has to be perfect!"

 

"Yeah, but you could at least put up a fight. Come on. Hit me."

 

"No. I will stare and look menacing, despite my enormous chest size."

 

(Atton shakes his head. This is just too easy. He finishes her off.)

 

"I sure wish I had another bar to run behind when the Exile needs me

to fight these bimbo bozos a second time. Those Ryyk blades--ouch!"

[Diego Varen]

Very good and very funny too. How many Badfics are you planning to write Tysy? Looking foward to more whether it's long or short.

[CSI]

Funny one, based on the Cantina on Nar Shaddaa. Eh, frankly, I prefer your badfic more than your serious fic.