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*tk*tk*tk*tk*tk*tk* THE OFFICIAL magic puppy dog THREAD


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Magic puppy dogs RAWK you. They are both magical AND puppies. That is a nigh unbeatable combination right there. Unless it's beaten. Or maybe some sort of robotic magical puppy? Or dare i even suggest the idea of a magical NINJA robotic puppy WITH jet pack? I think I dare alll right. I dare. I like living on the wild side of life. Just close to the edge of insanity. I like perring over the edge and laughing. Maybe dropping my change over the edge or spitting over it. I bet insanity hates that. I mean insanity should be respected. Not mocked.

 

 

I'm not even sure what I'm writing any more makes a lick of sense. If you've followed me so far, god help you. You just might be insane. Or I am. Maybe both of us. But there cant be three of us, because three would be company. ANd in the end there can be only one. Except that i dont have a sword. Maybe I could use like a pencil or something to defeat you. That might work.

 

 

The other day I was discussing with a frind how much fun it is to insult clouds. The reasoning behind insulting clouds is that clouds bring us snow, and we should not anger them for giving us such a bounty. But I dared anyway. I think you know why. If you don't know why i dare to dare such a thing please followe these easy instructions.

 

1. Stand up.

2. Raise left/right hand. Whichever one you use to do dirty deeds.

3. Aim hand at computer screen or nearest large plate of glass. Or even closest animal.

4. Pull hand back as to gather speed and power.

5.??????

6. Force hand forward at incredible speed directed at said object.

7. Feel pain.

If you would like, feel free to pour salt into said wouds or repeat steps 1-7 again.

 

 

Back to cloud insults: Your cloud is such a cumulus Nimbus, it takes three hours for it to cross the Prime Meridean. BURN!

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Your thoughts and suggestions are important to us and our cult. Please feel free to write any and all suggestions you have done a a plain white lined peice of paper. After this please take this piece of paper and put it in an envelope. Lick the envelope. It doesn't matter where. The envelope just wants to be loved. You may also make love to the envelope. Its not necessary, but it will travel faster as a result.

 

Please try not to give the envelope crabs. I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH. Then say the word envelope a couple of times. Sounds weird doesnt it? ENVELOPe. ENNNVEELOPPE> Serously say it out loud. We are watching you. And taped you making love to the envelope. But that will come up later. I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOGUH. Take this envelope to your nearest Denny's Resturant. Locate the head cook. Kill him. Using the envelope as a weapon.

 

 

Be advised this is usually a tough one. Those suckers dont go down without a fight. But all of our mail must be first used to kill a head cook at a Denny's resturant. Regardless if it a memo, post it not, or regular mail. Lather yourself and the envelope in the cook's blood. Please remember to defecate upon his corpse before you flee. Take your bloody letter and body home. Wait exactly 14 minutes. I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH. Then dance a little. Nothing too fancy. Just alittle something to get me going. Yea. Yea... Thats good. Yea...... Ok stop. Now I dunno. Open up your CD drive on your computer. Close it. Now run outside naked. I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH. Did you remember your envelope? Good. Take this envelope to outer space. I'm not sure about how your going to do that last part. I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH. Then throw it into the sun. I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH. We'll get back to you within 3-8 weeks. KTHNXBUY.

 

You may have seen this elsewhere. I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOGUH. But we all care for one another in here. We accept you. And we welcome you. If you steal our chips. We WILL come for you. I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH.

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