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[NSW Poem] Recipe for Love (Depressing Poem, but a True Story)


Tysyacha

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Recipe for Love

by "Ugly Tysy", since this Tantric guru suggested I watch "Ugly Betty"

 

What do I need to find true love?

This from a Tantric guru's mind:

"Shed a few pounds, redo your hair,

Get more 'chic' glasses, and you'll find

That guys will want you." End of chat.

Yep, "love gurus" say stuff like that.

 

So here's my recipe for love

At least with men, not God above.

 

First I need one gorgeous face

that scars and pimples don't disgrace.

 

Add to that one head of hair

that has a shine and softness rare.

 

Next, one fine body to caress

That fits into a size-4 dress.

 

This should include a firm, flat belly

Not likened to a bowl of jelly.

 

And then 2 unobtrusive thighs

Both no more than Madonna's size.

 

Still, what about my derriere?

It should not look like it is there.

 

My breasts should stand firm and not droop

Like some dogs' long ears when they stoop.

 

And when this recipe's complete,

Some guy will sweep me off my feet.

 

But right now, I guaran-darn-tee

That true love is lost to me.

 

P.S. Hey, "Swami Virato"--you're a looks-obsessed fake, and also cruel.

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That is a sad poem, very well written and very sad. But take heart! Like you said, if all they care about is the way you look, they are fake and not worthy of your love. Men who marry for beauty only are no better than some braggard displaying his trophy and saying, "I must be special, because look what I have!"

I feel sorry for girls with 'perfect' bodies; they attract the wrong kind of men. The most perfect body is the one that has a beautiful peson inside.

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Thank you all for your kind words; you have just been privy to what I

wouldn't even tell members of my own family for fear they'd say "Swami"

was right. I still can't get what my mom said when I was 16 out of my head:

 

"If you want a boyfriend, you have to get 'em to want to look at you twice."

 

I hope she never reads this poem. In fact, I hope nobody in my family ever

reads this poem! Good thing they don't know my username on the LF forums...

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