Ferc Kast Posted November 11, 2007 Share Posted November 11, 2007 Knight of the Old Republic: The Unknown Destiny War is about to break forth. The Republic is doing all it can in order to avoid this war; Yet, it is not enough. Inevitably, it would turn destinies around to face the unknown. The Sith are waiting in the shadows for a leader to unite them. The Jedi are spread thin across the galaxy, searching for them in vain. The Jedi Order has declared that all Force-Sensitive children are to be taken to the Jedi Enclave on Dantooine for training. None can avoid the Sith with great ease. Sneaking past the Sith, Master Arren Kae flies to Naboo in hopes to bring peace back to the galaxy... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ferc Kast Posted November 11, 2007 Author Share Posted November 11, 2007 Chapters 1-3 should be posted relatively soon. So, keep your eyes peeled for them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rev7 Posted November 11, 2007 Share Posted November 11, 2007 I will keep my eyes 'peeled' for the first chapter, Master Balatro! This fic might be interesting... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ferc Kast Posted November 12, 2007 Author Share Posted November 12, 2007 [NABOO, DAY] It all began on a warm spring day on Naboo. Ah, yes. The sounds of waterfalls, of children at play, of nature; In short, the sounds of innocence. She should've known then. But, alas...'Twas her luck. "Aubrey, get over here." Her mother shouted over all these sounds. A little girl came running over to her mother as requested. She had short, brown hair. There was a stranger wearing some kind of cloak. It was the very cloak Aubrey would come to resent. Up close, Aubrey saw that it was a Jedi apparently. Master Kae told how she knew Aubrey possessed great power. To make a long story short, Aubrey Sunrider was taken from her home planet of Naboo to the Jedi Enclave on Dantooine. Aubrey Sunrider was trained by Master Arren Kae. She went on countless missions with Master Kae; Some harmless, others not so much. As Aubrey put on her Jedi Robe, she looked in the mirror; Where an innocent child used to be, a semi-experienced young woman stood now. "Padawan, make haste; We are needed to deal with the corrupted government on Ando Prime." Master Kae said, urgently. "Yes, Master."Aubrey replied, as she always did. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rev7 Posted November 12, 2007 Share Posted November 12, 2007 MORE!!! ***WHISPER*** thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meowster Posted November 12, 2007 Share Posted November 12, 2007 Its fairly good. Can't wait to read the rest. What I like most about it so far is the descriptions such as: she looked in the mirror; Where an innocent child used to be, a semi-experienced young woman stood now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Empress Padme Posted November 12, 2007 Share Posted November 12, 2007 lovely.Since strong female characters can be few and far between in Star Wars Universe , I like that the protoganist is female.Bravo! more plz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ferc Kast Posted November 12, 2007 Author Share Posted November 12, 2007 I'm going for more descriptions this time (as opposed to the K3 fan-fic I just finished). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JediAthos Posted November 13, 2007 Share Posted November 13, 2007 The only thing I see lacking is a description of Master Kae I don't know that a description exists in the knowledge bank or on wookieepedia, but you should add something of what you believed Arren Kae would look like. Also, as far as a chapter goes...I personally would like to see a little bit more length. You gave us just enough to want to read more. I critique myself all the time on my chapter length, it can be tough to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
machievelli Posted November 14, 2007 Share Posted November 14, 2007 Please let me know when this reaches approximately 20 typed pages. It would be unfair to review it when the most I can say so far is that there is not enough for a fair review. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rev7 Posted November 18, 2007 Share Posted November 18, 2007 Any other chapters Balatro? Haven't posted anything in about a week... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ferc Kast Posted November 21, 2007 Author Share Posted November 21, 2007 Sorry for the non-posting of chapters until now; I was involved with a play that took most of my time until Saturday last week, which was closing night for it. I also have lacked time for myself recently. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ferc Kast Posted December 31, 2007 Author Share Posted December 31, 2007 [ANDO PRIME, HIGH NOON] All was quiet, as the snow kept falling on Ando Prime's surface. Aubrey Sunrider stood with Master Arren Kae in the main government building, holding her lightsaber near General Oronrá, Prime Minister of Ando Prime. Its' green blade shone brightly in the dimly-lit building. "Very well, we surrender." General Oronrá said, decietfully. Master Kae and Aubrey walked out of the building to return to the troops of those who had fought against their oppressive government. The two Jedi sensed a disturburbance in the Force. Instinctively, they drew their lightsabers. Aubrey rushed forward and started to attack General Oronrá's ambushing soldiers. She felt no regret in slaughtering them. After the two Jedi sorted the rest of the situation out, they returned to the Jedi Enclave on Dantooine. [DANTOOINE, EARLY EVENING] All lights were turned out that evening as Aubrey waited with Master Kae, whose blonde hair and blue eyes couldn't be seen through the darkness, outside the Jedi Council chamber. Master Kae went in front of her seat in the Council Chamber. Aubrey walked slowly to the room's center; As she did so, the Jedi Council's lightsabers activated. Thus, minimal lighting was provided. The Council's hoods were over their heads, save Master Vandar. "Step forward, Padawan." Master Vandar said. Aubrey came and bent down on one knee in front of Master Vandar. "Aubrey Sunrider, by the right of the Council; By the will of the Force, dub thee I do Jedi..." Master Vandar said, cutting off her Padawan braid. "Knight of the Republic. Her Padawan braid fell to the ground quickly; Aubrey stood back up, her brown hair flowing freely in the breeze. She walked back to her room while holding her head up in the air. She took a long, but deep sigh; All was going perfectly again. She then left the Jedi Enclave for a swim in a river near the Grove. [ONE HOUR LATER] Aubrey was just finishing her swim when she felt two people watching her from afar: Revan, a semi-older white human male with brown hair and blue eyes, and Malak, a white human male with no hair, two distinct tatoos across his forehead and brown eyes. "Revan, do you really need to bring your posse over here?" Aubrey thought aloud. She swam back to shore and wrapped her towel overl her. Revan jumped in her way backto the Enclave. "Go away, Revan. Doesn't your posse need you?" Aubrey said, full of frustration towards Revan. Revan slapped her. "Don't you ever mock me again, Sunrider!" Revan said, full of hate and something else. Aubrey's green eyes flashed with anger; Malak decided to leave Revan and her together. Aubrey just broke out in tears. Revan stared with a blank look, unable to believe what he just did. "I'm sorry; I was just so mad that Master Kreia is keeping me from the Trials." Revan said to her, after a half hour of silence. "Go tell someone who cares." Aubrey said. "Here's a tip: If you want someone to care, you shouldn't slap them." She stormed off, extremely angry, the rest of the way back to the Jedi Enclave to prepare herself for her next mission. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ferc Kast Posted December 31, 2007 Author Share Posted December 31, 2007 Aubrey Sunrider went mission after mission to settle major disputes on countless planets, including the water-filled planet of Manaan. In her free time now, she could be found looking through holocrons in the Jedi Archives on Dantooine; There she learned of a "Star Forge", whatever that was. Aubrey was now a historian in the Jedi Archive on Dantooine. [JEDI ARCHIVES, EARLY EVENING] She gazed around the Archive, wearing her midnight-blue Jedi robe. She almost forgot about Padawan Será who called for assistance. Master Kae was right. Aubrey thought to herself. I wasn't meant to be trapped in the Archives. Padawan Será was a brown-haired, green-eyed female about 12 years old. "What are you looking for, Master Sunrider?" asked Padawan Será, approaching her. "Nothing that I can't find myself. You called for assistance, Padawan?" Aubrey replied. "I called to ask about the lightsaber form..." Padawan Será started, but Aubrey cut her off. "The best person to ask about lightsaber forms would be Master Zhar or Master Vrook." Aubrey said, hating each word as she spoke. The Padawan left the Archives with tear-filled eyes. Aubrey ran back to her apartment, regretting what she had done. [LATER THAT NIGHT] "Aubrey, I know you're in there. We need to have a discussion. Padawan Será told me of your words at the Archives earlier." Revan called around the apartment, matter-of-factly. "Come in." Aubrey called back. Revan walked into the apartment, remembering to leave the door ajar by a couple inches. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rev7 Posted December 31, 2007 Share Posted December 31, 2007 Nicely done DB! Revan is a little jealous, eh? Good work, and take your time on the rest of the chapters. EDIT: Dude, have your forgot about this fic?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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