Aeroldoth Posted December 31, 2007 Share Posted December 31, 2007 I recently had one of those life-changing moments, the kind you never forget. Let me share it with you. I got up this morning, pushed the power for my computer, and... nothing. It powered up for a second, then shut off. My heart stopped. My breathing stopped. Time itself stopped to make an entry in its eternal log. "Today, at this moment of the Universe, on planet Earth, Aeroldoth's computer would not start." It was the only entry for the entire day. I chuckled nervously to myself, surely it was a fluke. Surely, I hadn't pushed the button right, surely I hadn't pushed it properly. So, I tried again. No, clearly it didn't like being started with my toe. So, I knelt and used the officially-approved finger to turn it on. Nada. One hundred and thirty-six tries later, my computer still didn't like me. I tried talking to it, reasoning with it. Did I not spend tons of time with it? Didn't I cuddle it and tell it I love it enough? Had I not once again entertained the notion of marriage? My heartfelt outpouring was apparently sufficiently lackluster, as the love of my life snubbed me, barely deigning to flash its cold, red eye at me before returning to eternal slumber. One raw throat and half of my hair on the ground later, I arose from my tear-soaked sodden spot on the rug. I tried eating. I tried watching movies on some not-quite computer monitor thing. I let it have its alone time. I tried to give it its space. What foul deed had I done to deserve this most cruel of torments?!? This is New Year's. No store will be open, nobody will be home. I am alone, and computer-less. Astinus knew nothing of loss when Raistlin destroyed the world. I checked the cables. I checked the power outlets. I checked the surge protectors. I checked the cables again. I checked the flow of the power supply. I checked the cables. I fiddled with certain key components on the mobo. Was this truly the end? Was this really how my last moments were going to be? At long last, in some void-like meditative trance, I thought to try the video card. I touched the video card. It moved a fraction of a micron. I pushed power (#159). My computer came on. My oxygen-starved lungs breathed heavily and deeply. The early stages of rigor mortis abated. Once again I could hear children laughing and playing outside, or perhaps that was just the blood surging in my ears. After wiping away my tears and vacuuming up my torn-out hair (maybe nobody will notice?), I realized what I must do. Clearly, the spirits must be appeased. Clearly, I must make a sacrifice. Therefore, I am asking if anyone happened to get more than one goat this xmas. I know sometimes you can get the same gift twice, and you don't really NEED more than one goat anyways. Or perhaps you received some virgin chickens. I know they're not as popular as they used to be, but some people still give them. In any case, if someone could pass a goat my way (all the covens here are clean out, what with the holidays), I would really appreciate it. And please don't suggest canned goat's blood. I tried that last year and it didn't go over so well. My psychiatrist says I should be able to sleep with the lights off in just a few more sessions. Thanks for listening. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MJ-W4 Posted December 31, 2007 Share Posted December 31, 2007 Given that you're old enough, I suggest you go out and spend a lovely New Year's Eve with friends or new acquaintances. As for the sacrificing bit, you may well appease any deity as well as your nerves with a good fresh draught of stout. Have a good 'un! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sabretooth Posted December 31, 2007 Share Posted December 31, 2007 What do you know of sacrifice? When I got my Linux running, I gargled the blood of crucified Bovine creatures and exhumed bodies of criminals from the local cemetary, to serve their flesh to The Lord. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corinthian Posted December 31, 2007 Share Posted December 31, 2007 Sounds more like an issue with your power cables, or maybe the power source itself. Video Card wouldn't cause something like that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ztalker Posted December 31, 2007 Share Posted December 31, 2007 1. You could always combine MJ-W4 and your own idea, and just sacrifice your liver... 2. There's always Bokbeer (notice the goat, for bok=goat in dutch) for your convenience: Hope this helps... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth InSidious Posted December 31, 2007 Share Posted December 31, 2007 Make a libation of '56 Bollinger. For effectiveness, it may be best to use a magnum. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MJ-W4 Posted December 31, 2007 Share Posted December 31, 2007 Make a libation of '56 Bollinger. For effectiveness, it may be best to use a magnum. LOLz. Or serve Guinness by the barrel. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tk102 Posted December 31, 2007 Share Posted December 31, 2007 I tried watching movies on some not-quite computer monitor thing. I let it have its alone time. I tried to give it its space. All's well the ends well. Thanks for that excellent write-up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rev7 Posted December 31, 2007 Share Posted December 31, 2007 Good story! I have had many moments like that (not with my computer though) and you just don't think of a solution, but the answer is so simple. Good story! -Rev Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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