I've been wondering lately, is it just me?

[Drunkside]

I dont know if its normal or not, but i do also have not urges but thoughts of beating up people. And i dont find it odd in any way, i believe its because my martial arts training has taught me to do evaluation on every possible attacker. Yeah im paranoid, i keep different weapons (not firearms, i dont live in america ) next to my bed and i avoid not looking at the doors too much. But why do i do that? Im just expecting the worst at all times, even in school i select my place in the class based on what would be the worst place to shoot at if somebody comes in with a gun. And besides, i also seem to attract people who want to fight with me if i bother to go out.

 

But do i really get truely murderous thoughts? Yes if i see a commercial that i just hate i want to go and strangle every one who took any part in the making of it

 

But yeah, start practicing martial arts if you dont already...

[vanir]

If genuine and not just mucking around, being an attention whore or just having childish fantasies at a public forum, then you need to sit down, have a cup of tea and ask yourself if you sincerely have a problem, if this is causing you problems or you honestly believe it may cause you a problem sometime.

 

If this is the case then you need to speak with a medical professional, who will refer you to a psychologist or prescribe medication as necessary. You may have a chemical imbalance, which is easily solved once it is diagnosed correctly.

If you get no satisfactory response from your doctor then you should get a second opinion, everybody gets misdiagnosed occasionally. Your existing doctor will even provide a referral for a second opinion upon request because misdiagnosis is a frequent reality, and the objective here is your good health.

 

Generally the patient is the first best person to know if something is wrong with them.

 

You said you were previously given medication and diagnosed with depression, which is a chemical imbalance in the brain. There are a very wide variety of medications designed to alter brain chemistry in different ways or to a different degree, and finding the correct one is a process of trial and error for which the MD absolutely requires honest feedback from the patient. It sounds to me like you just took the pills, became cynical when they didn't seem to do much and then just said you were all better now.

 

That's not how it works. Go back and tell your doctor the pills didn't work, you don't think you have depression, etc, and see what he/she says.

 

Trick about any medical condition is that if you don't seek help, you won't get better, you get worse.

 

So what can happen? In medical terminology it's called a period of psychosis, but to experience you get a sudden, shocking migraine whilst on public transport, empty your bowels into your pants to the sensation of being punched in the gut by some unseen force and find you have to defend yourself from all these violent weirdos that have been staring at you since you first got on with accusing eyes.

 

Of course the passengers will complain that some guy in his mid-20s who'd obviously shat his pants just suddenly flipped out and started attacking little old ladies for no reason.

 

No joke I've worked in psych wards and been around a bit myself and I've seen stories just like that first hand. Mental illness is not something which happens to other people but something which happens to anyone, and those fellers were just like you or me once, and just like a pathological condition sometimes there are warning signs and it's a good idea to act on them rather than ignore them or make fun of them and think it'll just go away.

 

So mate, stop the train before it leaves the station, go see the doctors again because seriously, if you're 25 even if you were making this up, you'd still have a serious problem, but I think you're at least partly telling the truth so you should indeed be quite concerned.

25-30 is a fairly typical age for nervous breakdown btw. It aint pretty and it aint fun.

 

Truth is though I think you're also partly exaggerating and just fantasizing, for which the treatment would be simply pillow punching (and if you get much older and still doing this, pillow biting mate, get out your best leather pants with the bum cut out and go pillow biting).