TO UNSUBSCRIBE FOLLOW THE SIMPLE DIRECTIONS THAT FOLLOW..........

[machievelli]

I am a member of several Yahoo groups, and have constatly been bothered by idjits that post 'Please unsubscribe me'. Having used my eyes and what little brain I have to examine the pages in question, and noting the Leave This Group on in the corner, I finally got irritated and a bit whimsical, and wrote this about seven years ago.

 

TO UNSUBSCRIBE FOLLOW THE SIMPLE DIRECTIONS THAT FOLLOW..........

 

To unsubscribe from this service you must first purchase a Craft-O-Matic Adjustable Subscription Cancellation Unit.

 

The unit can be obtained from most hardware stores and dental clinics. Be sure to obtain the proper permits to operate the unit from the Nuclear Regulatory Commission and the Food and Drug, Administration in Washington D.C. USA.

Be sure to carefully unpack the kit and place each component in its accompanying mesh safety bag. Mount the Pershing DF4 mesinator on top of the perforated Gerring Mach 77 refibulator and attach them using the eight-millimeter torque fork. Be sure that the refibulator is mounted at a 66 degree angle and properly dispersed so that it is flush with the curved section of the Pyrex thistle tube. Place the four sections of the triangular separation gear into the posture cylinder and lock them into place using the band aid adhesive strip.

Insert the wiggling pin into the wobbling hole, making sure that it seated correctly. Place the D cell battery and the eleven 9volt batteries in the power chamber.

 

The device should be calibrated before operation using the optional digital corkscrew accessory pack prior to operation. Insert the digital corkscrew through the electronic combustion service chamber using caution not to touch the reinforced tungsten igniter control module and quickly turn the inverter drive to 28.6 degrees.

 

Turn the Craft-O-Matic Adjustable Subscription Cancellation Unit upside down and hit the bottom plate with a 48-ounce ball-peen hammer while shaking the unit vigorously. Force open the door to the incineration valve compartment and set the pressure gauge to 719 psi. Close the door and seal it shut with duct tape.

The unit should now be properly calibrated and ready to use. Before activating the Craft-O-Matic Adjustable Subscription Cancellation Unit, you must first elevate it to a height of 229 feet above sea level to insure that the unit receives the proper oxygen level and barometric pressure. Point the aerial to 17 degrees north by northeast to within the parameters of the Telstar GS-2 weather satellite and apply pressure to the wing shaft on the southern most section of the modular accelerator.

 

Using the special ratchet adapter supplied with the unit, rotate the heater core to the "on" position. The "on" position has been obtained when the green light begins to flash, signifying that the red light is about to go off. Once the red light is off, flip the toggle switch labeled "ON/OFF" to the "ON" position and count to 47 before logging on to the system.

 

Logon using your username and password and wait for the prompt.

Once, prompted you must check the box with the appropriate action you wish to take and then press the pressure release button and turn off the compressor while turning the hand crank at 231 meters per minute.

Next, press control, alt, delete, caps lock, shift, number lock, escape and tab simultaneously.

 

Press enter.

 

You will have one second to complete the procedure. If you fail to respond in the time limit allowed, simply purchase a new Craft-O-Matic Adjustable Subscription Cancellation Unit and start from the beginning.

 

Please remember that this is the only way we will accept for you to

unsubscribe from this service. We have made every attempt to simplify the procedure for your convenience. Failure to comply with the unsubscribe policy will result in immediate termination of your subscription in yahoo and webtv. So please follow the above directions.

 

This is the only way to unsubscribe from this (or any other) Egroup/Yahoogroup, except for clicking the link 'Leave the Group' listed on the homepage of EVERY egroup!!!

 

PLEASE NOTE:

 

The NEW REVISED Version of the Craft-O-Matic Adjustable Subscription

Cancellation Unit also work for UnBouncing For the unhappy moderator!

[Jae Onasi]

:rofl:

[Darth Avlectus]

I guess it would be a bad idea to tell people here that high voltage magnifiers for a particle beam cannon are fairly simple.

 

Or how to use a microwave's innards to make an electric chair.

[machievelli]

I guess it would be a bad idea to tell people here that high voltage magnifiers for a particle beam cannon are fairly simple.

 

Or how to use a microwave's innards to make an electric chair.

 

They used to have a televison show named Barney Miller. In one episode a college student brings in an atomic bomb he designed so they can arrest him for carrying an illegal weapon. It turns out to be a unique design and the government classifies it, threatening to have him in a Federal jail if he ever tries again. After they leave, Miller commiserates with him, after all, he just made something few men have even thought of doing.

 

The boy's reply? 'They don't understand, I got a C-minus in nuclear physics'.

[Darth Avlectus]

Yeah, I mean, gotta make that grade somehow.

 

It's kind of like youtube where you post a link up to a download or a list of music or just answer whatever questions in advance in the description...and yet people are STILL lazy and dumb enough to ask those questions. Then of course you get spammers. There are even clueless people who don't even know how to un-subscribe in youtube...how does it GET any simpler?

 

For unsubscribing IN GENERAL I thought it just took a little bit of reading carefully and, click, you're done... and being ready to call and chew someone out just in case the system continues to keep you even though you hit the button.