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ATTACK OF THE PREQUELS!!!


The Wanderer

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One fine da several years ago while sitting on his throne in the main office of an impossibly strong financial empire, a bored George Lucas begins to wonder to himself... "hmmmm, I wonder what it would take to tear this whole thing down"

So being filthy rich and bored he decides to take on the most challenging project he can think of...

 

ruining Star Wars.

 

And so GL pondered for many minutes then said... "I will make three movies, three movies of terrible quality. They shall be twisted perverted reflections of my past successes, and they shall be made as poorly as I can possibly make them without being too obvious I'm trying."

 

"And these movies will focus on chracters that are uninteresting with plots equally as dull!!"

 

but this was not enough to tear down his almighty empire, so George Lucas said... "And then to further defile these films I shall add an annoying child actor who thinks he's both smarter and cooler than any adult"

 

But this was STILL not enough. Thinking real hard, he concieved of a most feindish notion... "and let there be the worlds most annoying character, an overly animated cartoon character formed of CGI who would steal scenes, interrupt any and all sincear moments annoying both characters and Audience alike, I shall name this attrocity 'Jar Jar'"

 

"And I will give these movies childish names each one more childish than the last and humorously pass them off as legitimate titles. They shall be known as 'Episode 1: The Phantom Menace' 'Episode 2: Attack of the Clones' and 'Episode 3: The Case of the Spooky Spiders'"

 

And so the prequels were born, and the dark times were upon us.

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latest update from tfn!

 

What do you think of the Episode II Title?

 

Love It (807 votes) 10.69%

 

Like It (1562 votes) 20.70%

 

Don't Like It (2285 votes) 30.28%

 

Hate It (2453 votes) 32.51%

 

No Opinion (439 votes) 5.82%

 

(Total Votes: 7546 )

 

almost 2500 people dont like it, and almost 2500 hate it :)

 

thats just funny

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Thats a little harsh roger,

 

I am starting to like the new title, actually no thats wrong, its starting to grow on me. But hey, if its a good film he could have called it "Bambi 2" for all i care :)

 

wardz

 

[ August 07, 2001: Message edited by: wardz ]

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Its not a very original name though. We know its going to be about the clone wars.....but the name should have had a less obvious meaning. Look at the names....The Phantom Menace, Attack of the Clones, A New Hope, The Empire Strikes Back, Return of the Jedi......the odd one out it obvious :rolleyes:

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Yes I was harsh...

 

But how is the Attack of the Clones any different from The Empire Strikes Back? (The Empires strikes back in the movie) Or The Return of the Jedi? (the jedi return in the movie) Or A New Hope? (Luke is a new hope for the Rebellion) Or The Phantom Menace (The Sith are the Phantom (invisible or not quite clear) Menace)

 

What is Cornier than the name Skywalker for christ sakes. Or Chewbacca... Han Solo (he does everything on his own and doesn't belong to anybody or thing)...

 

These are corny movies and in no way meant to be taken seriously!

 

It's a great title!!!

 

And it could still be fake, but I doubt it.

 

[ August 07, 2001: Message edited by: Roger ]

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Guest Boba Rhett

I think it was.

 

*hands GonkH8er and Roger dueling pistols and runs away giggling*

 

[ August 07, 2001: Message edited by: Boba Rhett ]

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No it wasn't a personal attack... I'm just amazed at all this hoopla because of a Movie Title. A movie title that isn't that bad and that isn't the end of the world and that isn't worth all the attention it is getting...

 

I wish all the people spending this much time and energy complaining about a movie title would spend it on talking to someone in real life (like your friends, your parents, your who ever...)

 

It is George Lucas's film, learn to live with the fact that not you, but he decides what title his film will have, weather you like it or not...

 

No hard feelings Gonkh8er...

 

[ August 07, 2001: Message edited by: Roger ]

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'isnt that bad'

 

apparently over 60% of the SW community doesnt agree....

 

and yes, hard feelings are taken if it was launched at me. i didnt write the story up top. i posted tfn's current staistics...

 

its cliche'd, but dont shoot the messenger. have a problem with the original post up the top? take it out on him :)

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personally the title is okay i would have liked a better one(it reminds of a f-class horror film)but i can live with it because it all part of the star wars story i love....and btw the trilogy and episode one(personally i liked it)arent corny they are sci-fi masterpieces and to me arguably the back bone of sci-fi....one more thing han solo started off as a loner but eventually fought ALONGSIDE the rebellion

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Roger, the fact that you "LOVE THE TITLE" only further proves that you are a brain dead idiot. Just another lemming following the rest of the crowd off of the cliff now known as "the prequels"

 

GL put that steaming pile of episode 1 manure in front of the fans and most of you (Roger) ate it up like good little self-brainwashed Star Wars Zombies.

 

You say we're blinded by high expectations, well I say you're blinded by an intense need to love ANYTHING Star Wars related no mater how awful the product may be because you're all the "real fans" the kind of "real fans" who can look at something like Jar Jar Binks, a blatant walking toy ad aimed at 5 year olds, and say it's part of George Lucas' "grand vision" which any idiot who thinks about it realizes he's clearly making up as he goes along

 

Christ, I've really come to start hating Star Wars since this prequel bs. If being a "real fan" means surrendering my opinions and blindfolding myself, well screw that. And screw Star Wars. It's a pitance, but I'm not giving GL my 10 dollars for Episode 2, The Phantom Flop was garbage and I HONESTLY almost walked out of it on my first viewing, the title of this one is a big indication we're just getting more of the same, and I just don't care any more.

 

Star Wars sucks, there is no grand vision only shlock sci-fi movies, and ya'll can have fun walking off cliffs.

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What's sad is most of these people grew up with Star Wars, and weren't around when the original movies were being released. When the first picture opened, it was taken as a feel good, no hassle, goodguy vs badguy adventure movie. Everyone loved it. No one realized how big the story actually was, nor did they care. The critics Sickle and Egbert (sp?) reviewed it and dis'ed the hell out of Lucas, calling the movie "junk food for the mind".

 

When Empire Strikes Back was announced, fans thought it was the stupidest name to give a movie as big as Star Wars was. TESB turned out to be the best one yet, but the audiance hated the ending. That's when everyone found out the whole thing was a massive saga. Grown-ups loved it, but a lot of people thought it was too scary for younger childern.

 

Finally Return of the Jedi came out, and ended the first set of films (suppossedly). Good story, good action, good ending. But basicly 2 hours of muppets and teddie bears. Kids loved it, grown-ups liked it but were disappointed. And those two negative critics from 6 years ago had a special 1 hour show where they just ooh'd and aaaw'd over and over about how great all three films were and how brillant George Lucas was.

 

I've always liked Star Wars, but stopped complaining about how they made it about 20 years ago. It's just a movie. I say let Lucas make them anyway he wants. If you don't like it, live with it, and find something else more important in life to complain about.

 

[ August 08, 2001: Message edited by: MajorTork ]

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Oh and FYI; I still consider the name of Episode VI to be "Revenge of the Jedi". It is NOT the last episode. Luke did turn to the Darkside of the Force to defeat Vader. And even though he turned back to the good side, Yoda told him twice (in two different movies) "Once you start down the Dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny."

 

[ August 08, 2001: Message edited by: MajorTork ]

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lol. true. Yoda knows alot about the Force, but he doesn't trust those Skywalkers one bit. It really depends on the next two movies. There will be a lot of stuff in Episodes 1, 2 & 3 that wont be exploted till they make the third trilogy, just as A New Hope had tons of hidden elements in it that were not reveiled until the ends of Empire and Jedi. Luke will probably be that crazy old wizard that hides out on some mucky world. Han and Leia's offspring probably go to him to stop a new threat, but his balance between good and evil may be at stake. I just hope I live long enough to see all the episodes.

 

[ August 09, 2001: Message edited by: MajorTork ]

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i used to love Star Wars but this new prilogy is garbage. Ep1 sucked major anus, and now Ep2 has a campy name and from the screens and such posted, it looks like the only thing that wont suck is Boba Fett being in it. Lucas made the prilogy a travesty of the original trilogy, made for little 5 year old kids, starring annoying puppets and smart-assed kids.

 

As for the seqilogy(s) (i heard somewhere its 12 movies in total, but others say its 9), Lucas said this long ago, but he changed his mind and is not making a final trilogy at all.

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Guest Vagabond

Official Warning

 

I'm not going to name names, but I want to remind everyone that while intense debate is strongly encouraged, calling names is not. We're all mature people here and there's no need to let differences of opinion degrade into personal insults.

 

Anger, fear, aggression! The dark side of The Force are they.

 

Thanks for your cooperation.

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