Zygomaticus Posted November 7, 2001 Author Posted November 7, 2001 eewwww ok heres one three men are stuck on an island and they find a lamp and obviously theres a genie in it and he grants them a 25x10 swimming pool full of anything they want. but they have to run towards it and dive in it. so the first guy runs and jumps and shouts beer and instantly theres a pool of beer in front of him. same with the second guy who shouts whisky. then its the third guys turn who runs and suddenly trips over a stone and yells "s**T"......... sorry mods if that word isnt allowed
Jedi_Knight Posted November 7, 2001 Posted November 7, 2001 Paddy:what is that on your leg? Mick:a birthmark Paddy:how long have you had it?
Guest Darth_Venage Posted November 7, 2001 Posted November 7, 2001 Three men were going to cross the Sahara desert. A reporter was interviewing them about how they planned to survive. She asked the first guy how he planned to survive. He pointed to a wagon he was pulling. "I have 500 pounds of meat. If I get hungry, I'll stop and eat." So they cheered him on and he strated off. The second guy came, also pulling a wagon. This wagon had a bunch of canteens in it. So the reporter asked him how he planned to survive. He pointed to the wagon and said "I have 500 gallons of water. If I get thirsty, I'll stop and drink." So they cheered him on and he started off. The third guy came up, and he was pulling an old Chevy car door. The reporter, preplexed, asked how he was planning to survive. "Well," he said. "If it gets too hot I'll roll the window down!" I'll put some more on later:D
Jedi_Knight Posted November 8, 2001 Posted November 8, 2001 There is a story about the irshman who drowned while he was digging a grave for a friend.He wanted to be buried at sea
Zygomaticus Posted November 8, 2001 Author Posted November 8, 2001 ok heres one once a rich business man was going on a ferryman's boat to cross the river. he asks him "have you read the bible" the ferryman says no. and then he says "25% of your life is wasted" then he asks him "have u ever gone to the opera" he says no. "then 50 % of your life is wasted" then suddenly the boat starts to sink and everyone is evacuating the boat by jumping into the water when the ferryman asks him "can u swim" he says no and the ferryman replies then 100% of your life is wasted!!
Guest Noghri_assassin Posted November 8, 2001 Posted November 8, 2001 does anybody here know what S.P.A.M. stands for??............. Stuff Posing As Meat
TieDefender75 Posted November 8, 2001 Posted November 8, 2001 This is a good one, there is a flood and a man is on top of his home and the coastguard comes and says"get off the building or you will drown" the man says "no, God will take care of me". the flood gets so high it touches the guys toes, and the same 2 coast guard guys come and say"jump on the boat or you will drown" the guy says"no, god will take care of me". the flood takes the guy away and before he drowns he says"God,god why have u forsaken me?" God says"ME forsake u, who do u think sent the coast guard?"
Zygomaticus Posted November 8, 2001 Author Posted November 8, 2001 ive heard that same joke once b4 but i heard it with an old lady instead of man ok one here whats big yellow ugly eats mice and smells like ***t l l l l l l l a big ugly yellow ***t like smelling cat!!!!!!!!!!! duh i guess that wasnt funny
Zygomaticus Posted November 9, 2001 Author Posted November 9, 2001 hey guys, this is a joke a friend told me There were these flock of birds flying south one of the birds slept late, and woke up next morning, to find, to it's dismay, that the rest of the flock had already left. it decided to fly solo. however, it wasnt strong enough. it felt cold, and fell to the ground. a cow came, and **at on it . it felt warm, and started singing. a cat heard it, and came and ate it. this story has three morals: 1- Not everyone who gets u into ***t is ur enemy 2- Not everyone who gets u out of ***t is ur friend 3- When ur in deep ***t, keep ur mouth shut
Darth_Rommel Posted November 9, 2001 Posted November 9, 2001 Maybe a mod should combine those double posts into one No offense, krkode, but try and tell jokes without so much... dirt language
Zygomaticus Posted November 9, 2001 Author Posted November 9, 2001 sorry bout the language never again will i use such language (oh please forgive me!!!) and about the combining ill never make that mistake again
darthfergie Posted November 9, 2001 Posted November 9, 2001 Sure... duh i guess that wasnt funny BTW, If you know a joke is stupid...why post it...
Zygomaticus Posted November 9, 2001 Author Posted November 9, 2001 it was funny at first but later ahhh well darth fergie i find that u like to criticize me is it something i did or is that just how u r
darthfergie Posted November 9, 2001 Posted November 9, 2001 Originally posted by krkode it was funny at first but later ahhh well darth fergie i find that u like to criticize me is it something i did or is that just how u r I just don't like you;) j/k Sorry krkode...just use a bit more common sense and you'll be fine;)
Zygomaticus Posted November 9, 2001 Author Posted November 9, 2001 i have enough common sense ---forget about that joke what does j/k mean why do u not like me cuz i dont like to be not liked what can i do to get your like and *sneakily* i knew he had something against me
TheJackal_jk2 Posted November 9, 2001 Posted November 9, 2001 Originally posted by krkode i have enough common sense ---forget about that joke what does j/k mean why do u not like me cuz i dont like to be not liked what can i do to get your like and *sneakily* i knew he had something against me Who are you? I made a funny! har har har har...i shut up now I have a feeling I'll be the red dude in the .gif soon.
Guest mer-ke_fostl Posted November 9, 2001 Posted November 9, 2001 Obi-Wan walks into a diner and sits down and the waiter comes up. "What will it be sir?" he asks. OB1 replies "What is the special?" "Baby Wookiee Soup." "Is it good?" "Honestly, it's a little Chewie."
TheJackal_jk2 Posted November 9, 2001 Posted November 9, 2001 Originally posted by Darth_Rommel j/k means "just kidding". What are you talking about Rommel? Geez.
TheJackal_jk2 Posted November 9, 2001 Posted November 9, 2001 Originally posted by darthfergie what is this suposed to be??? I am guessing Boba fett burning?
Zygomaticus Posted November 9, 2001 Author Posted November 9, 2001 looks like a man in a suit shaking the hand of a burning man:D
Dagobahn Eagle Posted November 9, 2001 Posted November 9, 2001 One day during the seven days of creation Jesus saw God working on a new planet. He was particulary busy with a country on the biggest continent. Jesus asked him about the country. "This is the nation of Pakistan", answered God. "It will have beutiful mountain ranges and forests. Clear running water. Nice weather. I will give the women the gift of not having to worry about how their hair looks. I will give them a new religion, so that they won't have to worry about how you could walk on the water that other day. I will give them a new written language, so that nobody can steal knowledge from them. And best of all, it will be one of the last countries in the world where humans will share their cities with the other beings." "God, stop, stop,", interrupted Jesus, "aren't you being to nice to these people? Aren't you going to give them any disadvantage at all?!" "Why, off course I am", answered God, pointing at the Earth. "Well... See this big empty area north of it?".
Zygomaticus Posted November 9, 2001 Author Posted November 9, 2001 i dont really get it or are u referring to afghanistan???
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