Guest Lord Tirion Posted November 8, 2001 Share Posted November 8, 2001 TAKING A SHOWER ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ How To Shower Like A Woman 1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks. 2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see your boyfriend/husband along the way, cover up any exposed flesh and rush to bathroom. 3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror and stick out your gut so that you can complain and whine even more about how you're getting fat. 4. Get in the shower. Look for facecloth, armcloth, legcloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. 5. Wash your hair once with Cucumber and Lamfrey shampoo with 83 added vitamins 6. Wash your hair again with Cucumber and Lamfrey shampoo with 83 added vitamins. 7. Condition your hair with Cucumber and Lamfrey conditioner enhanced with natural crocus oil. Leave on hair for fifteen minutes. 8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for ten minutes until red raw. 9. Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa Cake body wash. 10. Rinse conditioner off hair (this takes at least fifteen minutes as you must make sure that it has all come off). 11. Shave armpits and legs. Consider shaving bikini area but decide to get it waxed instead. 12. Scream loudly when your boyfriend/husband flushes the toilet and you lose the water pressure. 13. Turn off shower. 14. Squeegy off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex. 15. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small African country. Wrap hair in super absorbent second towel. 16. Check entire body for the remotest sign of a zit. Attack with nails/tweezers if found. 17. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. 18. If you see your boyfriend/husband along the way, cover up any exposed and then rush to bedroom to spend an hour and a half getting dressed. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ How To Shower Like A Man 1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile on the floor. 2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see your girlfriend/wife along the way, flash her making the "woo" sound. 3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror and suck in your gut to see if you have pecs (no). Admire the size of your dinkie in the mirror, scratch your balls (sorry mods, I didnt know what else to put in here for an edit, please forgive me =( )and smell your fingers for one last whiff. 4. Get in the shower. 5. Don't bother to look for a washcloth. (you don't use one) 6. Wash your face 7. Wash your armpits 8. Crack up at how loud your fart sounds in the shower. 9. Wash your privates and surrounding area. 10. Wash your ass, leaving hair on the soap bar. 11. Shampoo your hair (do not use conditioner). 12 Make a shampoo Mohawk. 13. Pull back shower curtain and look at yourself in the mirror. 14. Pee (in the shower). 15. Rinse off and get out of the shower. Fail to notice water on the floor because you left the curtain hang out of the tub the whole time. 16. Partial dry off. 17. Look at yourself in the mirror, flex muscles. Admire dinkie size. 18. Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on the floor. 19. Leave bathroom and fan light on. 20. Return to the bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass your girlfriend/wife, pull off the towel, grab your dinkie, go "Yeah baby" and thrust your pelvis at her. 21. Throw wet towel on the bed. Take 2 minutes to get dressed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Delphi's Clone Posted November 8, 2001 Share Posted November 8, 2001 uh lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lord Tirion Posted November 8, 2001 Share Posted November 8, 2001 You know its true Delphi =P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tie Guy Posted November 8, 2001 Share Posted November 8, 2001 Mind telling us how you know what girls do in the shower? ;D J/k Pretty funny, although not exactly the way i do it More like, 1. take off clothes 2. Get in shower 3. Wash 4. Get out 5. Get dressed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
darthfergie Posted November 8, 2001 Share Posted November 8, 2001 Originally posted by Tie Guy Mind telling us how you know what girls do in the shower? ;D J/k Pretty funny, although not exactly the way i do it More like, 1. take off clothes 2. Get in shower 3. Wash 4. Get out 5. Get dressed Yeah thats about it for me too...time taken=5 to 10 minutes... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest xwing guy Posted November 8, 2001 Share Posted November 8, 2001 HAHHHHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Thats funny! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ICP Ringmaster Posted November 8, 2001 Share Posted November 8, 2001 hhaha funny but true Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Kioet Csuhen Posted November 8, 2001 Share Posted November 8, 2001 I only take a shower once a week. I RULE!!!!! hey, nobody's goin'a notice (if u wear a hat to cover the dandruff hehehe), and of course put deodorant on 1 time a day. hehehehhe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ICP Ringmaster Posted November 8, 2001 Share Posted November 8, 2001 well i hope that i never meet you in public in the near future Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Kioet Csuhen Posted November 8, 2001 Share Posted November 8, 2001 i'm not dirty. I don't go outside unless i'm doing chores or working...i usually take a shower after i'm done working (all the molds and mildew and bleach makes my head itch really bad). btw, i don't stink. I make sure I don't. deodorant helps. alot. and so does changing my clothes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest xwing guy Posted November 8, 2001 Share Posted November 8, 2001 I only take a shower once a week. I wish I could do that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ICP Ringmaster Posted November 8, 2001 Share Posted November 8, 2001 in the words of coach golden...son you SMELL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Kioet Csuhen Posted November 8, 2001 Share Posted November 8, 2001 Well, at least I'm not a girl. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ICP Ringmaster Posted November 8, 2001 Share Posted November 8, 2001 yeah that is a a godsent Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zygomaticus Posted November 8, 2001 Share Posted November 8, 2001 i bathe twice a day im clean as they come but i get reallly dirty at times and i sweat uncontrolably Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FlyBOy Posted November 8, 2001 Share Posted November 8, 2001 Oh man that's some good stuff!!! Laughin' my as@ off :laughing: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest crazy_dog Posted November 8, 2001 Share Posted November 8, 2001 Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. Very funny (it was actually) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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