Slack Posted June 24, 2002 Share Posted June 24, 2002 Just thought I would post this since I almost lmao. I was talking with my brother in law(actually my wife was) and he said that if he got a new hard drive he would FINALLY be able to play JO with us at the next LAN party that -=Chi3f=- and I had. haha... Just to finish the joke here are his computer specs. 600 mhz celeron processor on board video card 64 megs of ram (if that... I think it has 32 megs) I know his HD is VERY small... I said that when he got it he could only install Diablo 2 and ONE other program.. hahaha I know this is cruel..... But its the only way I could stop from lol at that point.... hehe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pedantic Posted June 24, 2002 Share Posted June 24, 2002 Well, it depends on how good his onboard is. If it's pretty good, he's almost there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slack Posted June 24, 2002 Author Share Posted June 24, 2002 Ummm... thats a negative ghost rider... I think its only like an 8 mb onboard. hehe I know it cant be any more than that. Here is even something funnier... He tried to play Mechwarrior 4 once.... and with just his mech on the screen, the lag was so bad that he took one step every 30 sec. lmao. and on Mechwarrior 3(sense what type of games he likes??) he can only have 3 to 5 mechs on the screen (not including his own). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[RAA]-=Chi3f=- Posted June 24, 2002 Share Posted June 24, 2002 Aaaaaccck!! It's all over for us now!! Nooo!!!!! Sorry, but I have to agree with you. The force is DULL in that one..he he he. We've had enough problems with H00t'z and Krunch'z beefed up pc'z. I think a small investment would help a WHOLE-heck ov a lot. -PEAS Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slack Posted June 24, 2002 Author Share Posted June 24, 2002 Well, you know that the prob that ChruncH and Ho0T are having is because WE mod and update everything... Its not like WE are trying to HELP them.. haha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MasterD-LeyAmas Posted June 24, 2002 Share Posted June 24, 2002 I love celeron users, celerons are my friend... ...just a Pentium stripped of its cache (ie its abilities) [looks over at the computer he's on] *gasp*![clutches at heart].... a celeron sticker!!!!!! [remembers that this isn't his computer] whew. Almost had a heart attack there. You should suggest to him to get some more ram, PC133 is dirt cheap; compared to what it used to be. Just go to computers.com and shop around for some. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BCanr2d2 Posted June 24, 2002 Share Posted June 24, 2002 Hmmmm - Celeron got it's cache back a little while ago, it now has 256 kb of L2 cache. It's value for money, but that hunk o' junk of your Brother-In-Law, or one of the Outlaws as we'd call them in my family, is about as good as landfill......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MasterD-LeyAmas Posted June 24, 2002 Share Posted June 24, 2002 Yes, but now the P4's have a much larger cache then that... Think maybe that they're taking the P4's and downgrading them??? Just a thought. And trust me, after working Best Buy/Circuit City long enough, you really get tired of trying to sell people on the "value" of a celeron processor. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slack Posted June 25, 2002 Author Share Posted June 25, 2002 Wow... I am amazed... You guessed exactly where he bought it... haha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
obi Posted June 25, 2002 Share Posted June 25, 2002 *Is confused at big computer words* Here is a joke that is non-computer related: There is a human, a ferengi, and a klingon standing next to a wall. A fly lands on the human, who swats it away. It lands on the ferengi, who swats in away. It lands on the klingon, and he eats it. Another fly comes along and lands on the human. THe human swats it away, and it lands on the ferengi. The ferengi swats it away, and it lands on the klingon. The klingon eats it. Yet another fly(you think they would get rid of flys by the 24th century) lands on the human, who swats it away. It lands on the ferengi, who grabs it, turn to the klingon, and says: "YOu wanna buy a fly?" Ok, so that was corny. Here is another joke: A man and his wife was playing golf one day, and the man hit the ball and it went through the window of someones house that lived on the course. The man and his wife decided to go apologize, and pay for the window. They knocked on the door, and an old man answerd it. "Excuse me sir, but my wife and I where playing golf, and we hit a ball threw your window, and we would like to pay for the damage." The golfer said. "That will not be neccesary. I am a genie, you se, and I was trapped inside of a lamp that was next to the window. When your ball came through the window, it knocked over the lamp, and set me free. I am so glad to be outta there! I will grant you 2 wishs. The third, I want for myself." The genie said. "Sounds fair. MY wish is that I want to hit a hole-in-one every time I play golf." the man said. "It is done." The genie said, who then turned to the mans wife. "What is your wish, my dear?" He asked her. "I want 1 million dollars every year." She said. "Done. You will now get 1 million every year. Now, for my wish. It's been a long time since I had any action, So my wish is for 30 minutes of passionate love with your wife." The genie said. "Well, It's only fair. Go ahead. I will be in the car." The man said, as he turned and left the two alone. -30 minutes later- "You know, your husband is a really nice guy. How old is he?" The genie asked the woman. "He is 35." She answerd. "35?!?!?!? Isn't he a little too old to believe in this genie stuff?" *drum drum symbol* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SPY_jmr1 Posted June 25, 2002 Share Posted June 25, 2002 LOL@ #2:D thats great... wanna make this a joke thread?(or moreso then it is now?) what the hell... EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DIARY Day number 180 8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE! 9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE! 9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE! 10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE! 11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE! 12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE! 1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE! 4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE! 5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE! 5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE! Day number 181 8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE! 9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE! 9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE! 10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE! 11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE! 12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE! 1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE! 1:30 pm - ooooooo. bath. bummer. 4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE! 5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE! 5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE! EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DIARY DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant. DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair...must try this on their bed. DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was...Hmmm. Not working according to plan. DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth. DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call "beer". More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage. DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time.... no.2!!! (I am sorry for the formating, it was a email I receved) Subject: FW: Chili Tasters Wanted > > A little humor for those who like spicy food! > > > This is worth the read, especially for those who like spicy food. > > > > > These are notes from an inexperienced chili taster named Frank, who > was > > visiting Texas from Michigan > > > > Recently I was lucky enough to be the 10,000th attendee at the State > Fair > > in Texas and was asked to fill in to be a judge at a chili cook-off. > > Apparently the original judge #3 called in sick at the last moment, > and I > > happened to be standing there when the call came in. > > > > I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that it would > be a > > fun event and a true taste of Texas hospitality. They assured me that > the > > chili wouldn't be all that spicy, and besides, they told me I could > have > > free beer during the tasting, so I accepted. > > > > Here are the scorecards from the event. > > > > CHILI #1: Mike's Maniac Mobster Monster Chili > > JUDGE #1: A little too heavy on tomato. Amusing kick. > > JUDGE #2: Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild. > > FRANK: Holy ****, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove > > dried paint from your driveway with it. Took me two beers to put the > > flames out. Hope > > that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy. > > > > CHILI #2: Arthur's Afterburner Chili > > JUDGE #1: Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight Jalapeno tang. > > JUDGE #2: Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken > seriously. > > FRANK: Keep this out of reach of children! I'm not sure what I am > > supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who > wanted to > > give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to walkie-talkie in 3 extra > beers > > when they saw the look on my face. > > > > CHILI#3: Fred's Famous Burn Down the Barn Chili > > JUDGE #1: Excellent firehouse chili! Great kick. Needs more beans. > > JUDGE #2: A beanless chili, a bit salty, good use of red peppers. > > FRANK; Call the EPA, I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels > > like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. > > Barmaid pounded me on the back; now my backbone is in the front part > of my > > chest. I'm getting ****-faced. > > > > CHILI #4: Bubba's Black Magic > > JUDGE #1: Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing. > > JUDGE #2: Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish > or > > other mild foods, not much of a chili. > > FRANK; I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable > > to taste it. Sally, the bar maid, was standing behind me with fresh > > refills; that 300 lb. bitch is starting to look HOT, just like this > > nuclear-waste I'm eating. > > > > CHILI #5: Linda's Legal Lip Remover > > JUDGE #1: Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, > adding > > considerable kick. Very impressive. > > JUDGE #2: Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must > admit the > > cayenne peppers make a strong statement. > > > FRANK My ears are ringing; and I can no longer focus my eyes. I > > farted and four people behind me burst into flames. The contestant > seemed > > offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. > Sally > > saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from a > > pitcher. It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to > stop > > screaming. Screw those rednecks. > > > > CHILI #6: Vera's Very Vegetarian Variety > > JUDGE #1: Thin yet bold vegetarian chili. Good balance of spice and > > peppers. > > JUDGE #2: The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. > > Superb. > > FRANK; My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, > > sulfuric flames. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that > slut > > Sally. I need to wipe my ass with a snow cone! > > > > CHILI #7: Susan's Screaming Sensation Chili > > JUDGE #1: A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned > peppers. > > JUDGE #2: Ho Hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of > chili > > peppers at the last moment. I should note that I am worried about > Judge > > #3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing > uncontrollably. > > > > FRANK; You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I > > wouldn't feel a damn thing. I've lost the sight in one eye, and the > world > > sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with > chili > > which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava-like > **** > > to match my damn shirt. At least during the autopsy they'll know what > > killed me. I've decided to stop breathing, it's too painful. Screw > it, I'm > > not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in > through > > the 4 inch hole in my stomach. > > > > CHILI #8: Helen's Mount Saint Chili > > JUDGE #1: A perfect ending...this is a nice blend chili, safe for > all, > > not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence. > > JUDGE #2: This final entry is a good, balanced chili, neither mild nor > > hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 passed out, > fell > > and pulled the chili pot on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to > make > > it. Poor Yank. > > FRANK: (editor's note: Judge #3 was unable to report) > ------------------ well? what do yall think? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Divine Spirit Posted June 25, 2002 Share Posted June 25, 2002 you think thats a joke of the day? the real joke of the day is here: http://64.246.44.70/~lucasforums.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=64428 its not the first post thats the funny part, its the fact that everyone thought i wasnt joking! even the mod who closed the thread cant take a joke ffs so anyway, as i was saying before i got rudely interrupted, the weather is nice here isnt it waccy? did u see that wonderful golden moon that was up just a minute ago? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pedantic Posted June 25, 2002 Share Posted June 25, 2002 SPY, that dog-cat one, purty funny! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SPY_jmr1 Posted June 25, 2002 Share Posted June 25, 2002 Originally posted by Pedantic SPY, that dog-cat one, purty funny! TY TY... your turn... post some funnys for us..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wacky_Baccy Posted June 25, 2002 Share Posted June 25, 2002 Posted by Divine Spirit so anyway, as i was saying before i got rudely interrupted, the weather is nice here isnt it waccy? Not bad... A bit on the windy side today, though... did u see that wonderful golden moon that was up just a minute ago? No... *goes to look* I can't see it - must be too cloudy Oh well... BTW SPY, the cat one was great Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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