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chrisakachris

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And have been spending some time online, reading this and that.

 

On the agenda: A month's worth of Penny Arcade and a week of Sluggy.

 

I went to Mixnmojo (these are talented young men with their future ahead of them. I suggest you go to www.mixnmojo.com and browse a bit. I have a feeling this is going to become a large site with many visitors. Remember: You heard it first from me.) today and you know how it goes, you read an article and there's a link and another link and so on.

 

So firstly, there's Double Fine.

Quick recap, Double Fine is Tim Schafer's company.

End recap.

He writes the news items on the site. They're really something.

Here, look, look what he said once about Psychonauts, Double Fine's upcoming game, when it hadn't been announced yet.

I can restate, however, that this game will be awesome. I have played it and I can't wait to stop working on this web page and get back to it because it has got to be the most fun game ever. How fun? Well, if you were to take your top five favorite games of all time, condense them all into one, then write a poem about playing it, and then stretched that poem out to the moon and back, and then walked on it all the way out to the moon, and for every step you took you donated one soda can pull tab to that kid in England to buy him one minute on a respirator, and that kid was like Rainman and could count how many toothpicks in a box just by smelling them, and you and that kid were on a road trip together, and you could fly, and if his dad was the president, but instead of the white house he he lived above a video arcade like Jeff Bridges did in TRON, and you got unlimited free plays... that would be, like, the first level in our game.

It's like a Tycho Abrams, only a game developer.

 

So from Double Fine (really, don't miss their News page, with reports on mice and coffee) (and the Jobs page) (www.doublefine.com) we get much joy. Moving on.

 

 

 

Now take a deep breath, because I'm going to talk about Orson Scott Card again.

 

I really don't go to Hatrack River anymore. The memories are just too painful. We've been over the OSC thing (this is a good moment to remind those who have access to the old forum ahem cough Swordy cough cough ahem nudge cough that I really really want to save ****!) before, and there's no need to dredge up and rehashe all that.

 

But I want to do that anyway.

 

I think I read on the main Mix page that OSC reviewed Attack of the Clones. This piqued my interest, as I remember how much Card's film reviews sucked (remember when he bashed American Beauty? Priceless!).

 

So I went to Hatrack. At the end of this column he writes for a Greensboro paper (he said some sensible stuff about schools, actually) he got to the movies. He talked about Men In Black II (which has yet to reach Israel) and Star Wars II.

 

This is his entire review of AoTC, verbatim, copy-and-paste style, I swear.

MIIB begs to be compared to Attack of the Clones. Both of them have lots of computer-animated aliens sharing the screen with live actors. Both of them have save-the-world plots and fairly feeble love stories.

 

But Attack of the Clones is a wretched waste of time and money -- the filmmakers' and ours.

 

While MIIB pays off exactly as well as it should. And it doesn't try to give us a bogus religion in the process.

 

Why the difference? MIIB has a good script and a director who knows how to get the best out of his actors.

Okay, so he didn't feel like writing a whole review. Whatever. And he thrashed Lucas' directing and writing skills. Two legitimate points. But this!

And it doesn't try to give us a bogus religion in the process.

Ooooooooooohhhhh, how this guy can piss me off.

 

 

Breath in. Breath out. Wax on. Wax off. No more OSC for this post.

 

I read that sites offending the Catholic Church were shut down in Italy, and their owners will be fined and might go to jail. This is an interesting story to follow, as insulting the church seems to be some kind of law in Italy (it is also known as the What The **** law), and there's the whole are-the-sites-in-Italy-or-global-or-not-anywhere-oh-what-the-hell-throw-him-in-jail issue.

 

 

My dog should really stop licking his own ass.

 

And now I must go. A repeat of Dopplegangland is on TV (YYYYESSSSS!)

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I'm reading the comic book Worship The Comic right now.

 

Double Fine rules (at least Tim Schaefer).

Consoles suck.

We can talk about this another time.

Go read this post for some of Tim's e-mail replies.

 

I thought we agreed that OSC's books are good and we forget about the rest!?

 

Go check out Scummbar's Monkey Media page. Escpecially the Mag. Articles with dating tips and other funny stuff.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Actually, I thought we agreed that all of OSC's usual stuff blows ass except for the Ender series, which in the end has only 3 truly good books and the rest is his usual drivel.

 

Consoles have a lot of suck in them, but do not suck inherently.

 

I hadn't realized Double Fine had actually started up their website. I used to stop by every few months and be treated witht hat nice picture of a Double Fine Zone and see the nice little title that nicely tells me to **** off until the site is up. I shall now put this Double Fine on my Favorites list and stop coming here.

 

I like very much the way OSC is willing to flay alive anyone who shows anything that could be construed as hypocrisy, and yet he said that Phantom Menace was so aweful that he was never going to see Episode II because (something resembling a quote of what I kinda remember him saying:) "life is too short to watch bad movies." I'd call it irony if it wasn't so damn predictable.

 

I saw and hated Episode II ont he first day, much as I did with Episode I, and I will probably see Episode III on the first day and hate it, too. It's Star Wars, for Christ's sake. We suffer through such bullskit on the off chance that it's brilliant. Why else would we all go see Gary Oldman movies?

 

Oh, and MIIB was very entertaining and enjoyable and all that, but it pissed me off that this one was so much stupider than the last one. MIB was witty. This one is funny but it's goofy-ass and other such adjectives I don't have time to invent. Point: a good successor, but obviously an inferior movie because it lacks the brain. Ed Solomon is a good man, they shouldn't make sequels to his movies.

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  • 2 weeks later...

By the time the new Buffy season has started, I will have moved into San Francisco where the apartment does not have cable. I am going to have to waste time in new and undiscovered ways.

 

Fortunately, between myself and Stevie, we will have a Sega Genesis, a Sega Dreamcast, an NES and Super NES, a Gameboy, a Nintendo 64, two PlayStations, and we plan to collaborate to purchase a GameCube. I think we'll be okay for fucking off.

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