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Today = worst day of my life so far


NiKo

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I dont have the power to explain why,maybe later

but today is one of those days where all your life crumbles infront of your eyes and you just cant rebuild it all over again...

 

so if anyone talks to me today and I'm acting strange, this is the reason...:(

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well today looking back at it I can laugh about it....

 

It was just my gang breaking up, and no one in the gang really caring, and without that gang, I really dont have much at all...

 

Well, this gang, were like the cast from friends :D

and just like in friends, I was in love with one of the girls in this gang for about a year and everyone in the gang knew but her. all the time I had to deal with the pain of seeing her go out with other guys and talk about them with me since I'm her friend... and yesterday I kinda told her how I feel...only that I was depressed in the time because of this gang breakin up thing, so I told her in a "it's all over so i dont give a f*ck i might as well let you know" kinda way....

After saying I love her, I got a bit nerveus seeing that her reaction wasnt a good one, and knowing there's no going back now when the truth is out in the open, I started reacting like an idiot, trying to save my ass and saying I was only joking, which only turned things worse..

In the end I told her I'm sorry, and she accepted my apology, but I know that nothing is going to be the same again now.

 

Anyway this ,in a nuttshel, is why my day wasnt too good...

But I know life goes on and it's off sh*t way worse than this, and in the end everything will be okay....

 

so dont worry....I'm okay, and sorry I bothered everyone here with this nonsense.

:)

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you know, the same thing is happeneing to me. i been in love with this girl for about two months now and haven't told her how i feel. nor have i told anyone else (i think i can trust you guys). we get on really well, but am scared becasue she's two years older than me and may not feel teh same way because of that. i don't care, but i'm just starting my A-Levels whilst she's going off to college opr whatever and i'm also scared that i will never see here again after the end of this month (i met her at work at my summer job, at the end of sept, the place we work at closes for the rest of the year and starts again next july and i'm not sure if she'll come back). so what do i do. i darden't ask her out, but would still like to see her after the end of the month.

 

i also saw my whole world shatter just yesterday, but only for a few hours. you see, i on saturday, this girl tells me that she has the flu so i'm extra nice to her (or at least i try, it's hard to get more nice when you love her). on sunday, i go up to her and ask her how she's doing and we have a small two minute chat. then i go off back to work. i get a lift back up to whre i work normally (sometimes i work ni the carpark which si about quarter of a mile away from where i normally work and someone offered me a lift) and the guy driving tells me that for some reason sarah 9this girl i love) is pissed off about something. this is litterally five minutes after i spoke to her so i started to think the worse. and when i say the worse i really mean the worse, what if she doesn't really like me, whet if it's never meant to be. i was in a bad way. so bad i even prayed to god to give me some answers.

 

and then, about an hour later, he did. i went for my lunch ni the staffroom and no one was there giving me some time to think. when suddenly, who walks in, sarah. this is rare considering it's hard to get a break at the same time as here considering she's doing a completely different job. but it happend and afer i thanked god for it. we talked for a while, and i found that they were just lying when they said she was pissed off. so i was relieved and felt better than ever when she invited me to go see her work before she went home, just for a chat. if it doesn't go any further than chats, i won't be too dissapointed, really, i can settle for just being good friends with her instead of going out with her which could involved destroying uor frinedship and complicating things. so really, what i'm saying NiKo, is that you should try to be good friends with her first and if you think you can go further and you both want to do it, otherwise, leave it. that's all i'm saying for now.

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Niko, i know how both of you feel, she doesnt hate you she just feels uncomfortable with one of her good friends liking her. If you act like your still friends and JUST friends she'll know you like her but you can be friends still even if she doesnt and maybe someday she will. *shrug*

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To be honest I'm kinda disgusted by her now...

 

One of her friends (who didnt know I like her) started talking about how she caught her and some other guy f*cking next to her when she was sleeping, and that many guys who did her say she's the best blowjob ever, but her ***** stinks...(!!):barf:

Plus she's been acting like a real B*tch lately (even before I told her). and I dont think I need her in my life....

 

I'll get over her...and I'll try to do it as fast as I can...

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