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Tim Schafer is sneaking around the forum


Yufster

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I know he's here somewhere. Maybe its a conspiracy theory, maybe I can smell bacon cooking and it's getting me excited, but either way, or another, unmentioned way, Tim Schafer is roaming LucasForums. And for good reason.

 

I don't know what that reason is, but it's good.

 

So far, I have established that both crookedline5 and Yaweh are Tim Schafer. He has registered several different names under different IPs. This, I triple guarantee you.

 

Any one of us could be Tim Schafer. We have to keep our eyes open at all times, and watch each others backs. He's among us. I don't have a way to prove it yet, but I will.

 

Oh yes, I will.

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How dare you....I-I'm stunned. I remember my childhood, when the kids at school would tease me, mock me, torture me.

"HAHA! YOU ACT LIKE TIM SCHAFER! HAHA!"

"Who's that?" I'd asked, looking around miserabally. "Who's Tim Schafer?"

Nobody answered, they all just laughed harder. I've blocked these moments out of my life...how could you be so cruel to bring back the worst memories I have? How could you hurt me so?

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From Family Guy

 

 

DEATH: Oh, my high-school memories. Talk about akward!

Flashback

*Car parked on a field, under the moonlight. We can't see it in the inside, but its shaking as if 2 ppl were having sex inside it*

[voices from inside the car]

DEATH: Oh sandy!

SANDY: Oh yes!

DEATH: Oh sandy!

SANDY: Oh YES!

DEATH: OOOHH, Sandy! Sandy?

*car stops*

DEATH: Oh, not again! I'm gonna be a virgin forever!!...

Or am I?

*car starts shaking again

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You are so Tim Schafer. You cannot hide behind your wall of lies and deceit any more. I have figured you out.

 

It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr Schafer.

 

A pleasure.

 

However, the pleasure, I fear, will be entirely mine.

 

Hahahahahaha!!!

 

I SWEAR TO GOD, PEOPLE, HE'S TIM SCHAFER! I SWEAR TO GOD!!! I'm sure of it! He's Tim Schafer! I know he is! I know it! He's Tim Schafer!

 

***EDIT, I cut this part out, it was too sexual and wierd***

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No! HE'S Tim Schafer! HE is! Don't you see? He's hiding beneath a web of deceit!!!! I tell you! I swear! He's collecting our personal information, preferences and blood samples, while we sleep! Like a mosquito disguised as a butterfly! Don't be fooled by him!

 

Come on, Mr Schafer, give yourself up! I know it's you! I know it to be true!

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Martha, sweetie, you're cracking up from the stress of all the financial insider trading scandal nonsense. Come back to daddy, and we'll redecorate the drawing room, just for fun...then we can make croissants and caper about the estate in semi-nude sex games as they're baking.

 

:D

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Yufster's going to Happydale! Happydale! Ha-a-a-appyDALE! OH yes, she is! Now if you'll just step into this nice iron cage, deary, and slip on this comfy straightjacket, we'll be on our way. There's a good girl, right in like that........figs! She's loose again.

 

Look out world! RUN! :eek:

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Capt. Andy, we must stand united as females! Drive away the male predators, and maybe Neil also because I know he's more effeminate, but he still has the correct PARTS of a male. Me, you, Carl Shutt and Natty must stand united as the only females in this goddamn hole! Together we will find Tim Schafer and RULE ALL EXISTENCE. With Tim Schafer.

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Guys, I'm more certain than EVER that 'Yufster' is actually Martha Stewart. Is it just a coincidence that she's going yooty-tooters here on the forum at the same time that Martha Stewart is being indicted for securities fraud and being forced off of corporate executive boards in the news? I hardly think so.

 

Martha...I'll send a jet to get you. Look, I have enough cash right here in my wallet to cover all of your legal expenses--just let it all go. You can come join me at Microsoft, and together we'll show the world what a refined taste can bring to software. Don't like our wallpaper? We'll fire the designer together, and you can make it your personal project. Heck, I have enough power that I can force the entire world to adopt the haute culture of your home design sensibilities--national flags, for example, are horribly tacky. I'm sure you've thought the same thing.

 

Let's end this 'Tim Schafer' silliness once and for all. He isn't real, and deep down inside you know this. He's just a product of the stress, like the little blue elf living in your glove box. Come with me to my gothic neo-classical wonderland in the mountains, and let us frolic naked on a bed of cash as news cameras film us laughing, laughing because we just don't care.

 

:)

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Wait a second...

 

You're Tim Schafer!!!

 

You are! You're exactly like him!!! Of course you have time to visit these forums while your employees are superglued to their work desks and the door welded shut! Admit it, you're Tim Schafer!

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Uh-oh! We're losing her...

 

Forget Operation: Microsoft Love Nest. It isn't working. Time for Plan B. *FWEET!*

 

*(Helicopter flies in with big net, scoops Yufster off the ground and carries her kicking and flailing off over the horizon.)*

 

Don't worry, guys. We're taking her someplace to get some help. It might not be "Bill Gates' love castle," but they do have plenty of yummy sedatives that she can try. :D

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