ragou Posted August 23, 2003 Share Posted August 23, 2003 US Attorney General Ashcroft is visiting an elementary school. After the typical civics presentation to the class, he announces, "All right, boys and girls, you can all ask me questions now." A young boy named Bobby raises his hand and says, "I have three questions: Why are you using the USA Patriot Act to limit Americans' civil liberties? Why hasn't the U.S. caught Osama bin Laden yet? Why haven't we found the weapons of mass destruction in Iraq?" Just then the bell sounds and all the kids run out to the playground. Fifteen minutes later, the kids come back in class and Ashcroft says, "I'm sorry we were interrupted by the bell. Now, you can all ask me questions." A young girl named Charlene raises her hand and says, "I have five questions: Why are you using the USA Patriot Act to limit Americans' civil liberties? Why hasn't the U.S. caught Osama bin Laden yet? Why haven't we found the weapons of mass destruction in Iraq? Why did the bell go off 20 minutes early? and Where's Bobby?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Homoludens Posted August 23, 2003 Share Posted August 23, 2003 Ha! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Curt Posted August 23, 2003 Share Posted August 23, 2003 ROFL! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arreat Posted August 23, 2003 Share Posted August 23, 2003 lmao Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
curacao Posted August 23, 2003 Share Posted August 23, 2003 old Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ragou Posted August 23, 2003 Author Share Posted August 23, 2003 Yes, they've been doing that far too long now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arreat Posted August 23, 2003 Share Posted August 23, 2003 Yeah, I know... It still has its spark though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amishler Posted August 23, 2003 Share Posted August 23, 2003 Originally posted by curacao old Yes, but timely again, seeing how it coincides with the Grand Exalted Poobah's tour to promote the Patriot Act. I wonder what kind of wacky hijinks would ensue if a group decided to flashmob one of those events? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Homoludens Posted August 26, 2003 Share Posted August 26, 2003 Twilight titillations A Florida couple, both in their early 80s, go to a sex therapist's office. The doctor asks, "What can I do for you?" The man says, "Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?" The doctor raises both eyebrows, but he is so amazed that such an elderly couple is asking for sexual advice that he agrees. When the couple finishes, the doctor asks, "There's absolutely nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse." He thanks them for coming, wishes them good luck, and charges them $50 before sending them off. However, the couple returns the following week and asks the sex therapist to watch again. The therapist is quite puzzled, but agrees. This happens several weeks in a row, with the couple making an appointment, having sex with no problems, paying the doctor, then leaving. Finally, after nearly two months of this routine, the flabbergasted doctor finally says, "I'm sorry, but I have to ask. Just what exactly are you trying to find out about your sex life?" "We're not trying to find out anything," answers the old man, his lover next to him smiling. "She's married and we can't go to her house. I'm married and we can't go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges $98. The Hilton charges $139. So we do it here for $50, and I get $43 back from Medicare. See you next week, doctor." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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