Burnseyy

Thats kind of strange. My auntie Susan died a mere year after my grandparents (on my mums side) died. I was telling my mum the other day (a psychology thing) how it was good that Susan died before my grandparents because they didnt have to watch one of their daughters die before them. So I can only imagine...

They're... grandparents. They're healthy.. lol. My grandads got diabetes. not really very unique stuff... They're just your average nice grandparents.

Very few have so strong a will to stick with something they hate. Somethings have to be done, but a lotttt of people would rather just not do it. Who can blame them? School isn't nature.

I'm thinking of becoming a Psychologist... as in the rest of my career. But I'm unsure. If you read my journal on Deviantart, you'd be able to understand it without me repeating myself lol.

Family is alright, thanks. Not much to say on it. My minds been elsewhere.

Well, just think about what you're saying. She's just lost her husband. That's not easy. And there's a big cliche on rich people... that they have life easy. But they're humans are they not? I'm sure not all of your problems derive from money.

Just something to think about.

This weekend is my grandparents 50th anniversary. I'm going. And usually I'd say I didn't want to go, or not feel like going but... for some reason, I'd rather go there than go out with my friends.

My ears fine. Taking the antibiotics. Which reminds me - need to take one soon.

Yeah, psychological downs can have physical effects... it's happened to me before - perfect example is stress. But the good thing is, you could pull yourself out of it, right? Determination and confidence goes a long way. Difficult, but not as difficult as people seem to think - you're the type of person whos got strong will arent you. You'll be alright when you catch up.

I've always wanted to be an author, but that's not a solid job. I'm the helper of the group, I'm the listener. But who does the listener talk to?

Psychology is like the most direct way of helping people, and that's what I want to do - help! Not exactly sure why I feel so strongly about that...

Maybe it's because I know what it's like not to be helped.

We don't do majors in college in England lol. This is a two year course, so I don't know what I really want to be yet. Though the media's in mind... but I also want to be a psychologist - but i've been warned how many people want to go into that.

I want to help people without the guilt of having patient die in my hands. A psychologist sounds perfect for that... in some respects.

I think the only good drunk time I've had was when I was first drunk.. and now I look back, it wasn't even so good, because I was asleep for half of the party.

College is stressing me out. I don't have time for anything, and if I do, I'm putting my homework off! I knew college had a lot of work, but not this much. I have an essay or two everyday, to finish. If I don't do it the night I get it, I'll have like ten essays by the end of the week. And we're not even onto coursework.

At leasdt you've got time for practise. :/!!

Ohh, I've done that before. Remember going to the pub, remember everything IN the pub... but then there was this like 30 minute walk with my friend where I remember nothing! lol. Then I was on a bus... and then nothing. Maybe I like buses?

I hate being drunk. I hate how you manage to convince yourself that it'll cause no harm... but you know, you tell yourself... that the next morning you'll wake up and regret it! I've made a vow never to get drunk again. Tipseys ok. But drunk? That's too far, now. Hate myself when I'm drunk. If I was in Star Wars, I'd be one of those people who was wavering on the Dark side, but hated myself for it

Keep up the good music!

I'm off in a bit too. You may well set off now, if you want to catch the library open. Wouldn't want to delay anything.

Goodnight.

I guess I'd gone so long and I thought 'one couldn't hurt.' Well one leads to another... and another... So next time I feel the need to smoke, I'm going to remind myself of something horrible, to take my mind off it. It's apparently a form of therapy

Up to anything?

The pain in my ear will go. I'm just relieved I don't have to go through that pain again. You'd have thought they would've given me a needle to numb it or something! It upset me though... I can't have a piercing because my body will just reject them. :/ I only wanted one. I guess I'm at least lucky I can dye my hair red.

Oh, and I have something to confess. I smoked a few cigarettes yesterday. I'm ashamed. But I sort of feel like I have the right to not be, because I'm furious at what my friend did.

I can understand the problem with your index finger. Though I doubt I was ever worried about the long term effects. Probably too young to think of that.

Lmao, gutted for her. I was in a spin the bottle match on saturday, and there were all bi girls in the circle (except me) and mostly bi guys. It was horrible. I managed to get away with not having to kiss a girl >_> thank god.

Mass Effect is awesome! No ones explained it to me - I hate instructions. I prefer to work things out myself. Though, apparently there's a weird sex scene in it, and the person is bi. >;o

well don't get me wrong... the tears weren't gushing out of my eyes as if I'd lost an ACTUAL limb; just a tear or two. The doctor kept on saying "you look terrified, it'll be fine", but I just cannot explain the terror of them talking about yanking the piercing out!

I've had a broken arm before, but i can't remember that to compare it to. It happened when I was like 6... (has created a lot of problems nowadays... can't play netball or basketball without sharp pains shooting through my arm. :¬ but y'know. You ever had a painful incident?

You mean you'd react to the pain more? I'm good at hiding what I'm really feeling, but that just did it for me. It was like torture! They didn't numb it or anything, they just used a really cold fluid (forgot which) to sort of numb it. But the cold hurt my ear, too. It sent like shocks down my jaw. Never ever again, am I getting a piercing.

It definitely hurt a tonnn more to take it out, than it did to put it in. I must've looked so pathetic though - a near 17 year old crying because of a bit of earache.

Ever played Mass Effect?

I kept the piercing, but I think it's broken. They just couldn't get the thing off, so they had to really yank at it. When it came off, blood was gushing out of my ear where it was pierced, and I was crying lol. I've never cried in public, except for when I was quite young. I also have to take anti-biotics - 4 a day for a week. Bleugh.

I'm alright now, but i miss the piercing. It's like i've lost a limb. :¬: giving blood? I'd do that, but I don't r eally like the idea of getting blood taken out of my body frequently. I want to know my blood type though.

I think theres more males here in England, but we're not considered a minority. That's what I don't get about some sexist guys - don't they like women, or something? It's all very confusing.

Thats the thing about life... the more problems there are, the more you get wrapped up in them, and it's just a vicious cycle after that. I try not to think about it, but I can't help it. I don't know what I don't want to think about, but I feel horrible some times because of what society has turned into. Honestly, I think I've got a problem

I went to the hospital today... turns out my ear was infected. But not the dirty kind... apparently my body just rejected it, because it was a 'foreign body'. Unless the actual piercing doesn't heal up, I can't put it back in. But that's not the worst bit. They couldn't get the piercing off, because it's designed to stay on... so they had to pull it off. Honestly, I'd never felt such bad pain in my life. And with my history of visits to the hospital, I'm allowed to say that without sounding like a drama queen. I felt sick, dizzy and weak after it. I didn't like it at all.

Sure thing. Anything for a friend, right? That's the problem with me - I'm nice... and then I get sick of it, and turn a blind eye. But anyway... theres always going to be big problems in the world, but it doesn't mean your problems aren't enough to be complained about. Complain, sure, but don't just do that - acting can harm, but it can also help.

About the dream... It's not like that. I'm straight lol. But I was just wondering if that sorta dream was normal. Maybe guys wouldn't, because well... you lot are all very defensive and refusing of anything like that. Unless they actually are like that.

My mum the other day said I'm very judgemental. She said I believe that I know what peoples motives are without even having spoken to them. But I do. >_> People aren't so different from one another.

I've been asked out by so many girls... do I look like a lesbian!? Okay, I sorta do. I mean short red hair and an anti-tragus piercing doesn't exactly match the straight look lol.

Once I was completely sober, and a girl tried hitting on me. I didn't want to sound up myself and say 'excuse me I'm straight', but it was so... *shudder* weird. I've found that, to get rid of people, you just act boring.

Ever played Mass Effect? My friends introduced me to the wonders of it.

Well, I feel weak willed and stupid for smoking a 10 pack yesterday. Actually, I didn't... I sold some of them. I also got drunk, and had a game of spin the bottle i town but I kept on getting this one guy. At least he was good looking. lol.

you?

:]

I hate it when something seems cool and fun when youre drunk, but whe n you wake up the next day, it was the STUPIDEST THING EVER!

I hate waking up after a drinking night. eurhghgh. I said I was only going to have 2 wkds, but I had a wkd, a strongbow bottle, went into the pub twice and got pints off some men (lol), downed a few peoples drinks and smoked.

I'm ashamed of myself. >_> I also jokingly told someone I was bi and I think he believed me... but I dont wanna bring it up lolll

i dont know why hes gone to hospital. I dont think itd be b est to talk about it. But i dont know.

bwing drunk iis annoying. sorry f youy cant understand lol. i bought force unleashed.

did you?

bleh, i have tonnes of homework. i havent got a biiiig essay, yet. but thats what courseworks for. 16 pages is short for coursework a level.

Im at my mates house, so I can't really read it. im also drunk so... yeah lol. Im going hospital tomorrow to check my ear out. Have your hgeard about DY? hes going hospital for some reason, but i don't know why...

What do you mean? What sort of diagnosis? >.< well, just to let you know, I'll be at the hospital on Sunday to see whether my ear's infected lol. So I'll be there in spirit.

Things are going alright here, but I smoked a cigarette the other day. Yes, I know, I'm weak and gave in. But I told my friend to hit me really really hard if I try one again. Which will probably motivate me to hide from him, but nevertheless.

When I saw your avatar, I thought 'oh HOP might like this person, this noobies got the same person HOP likes in his/her av.' obviously, seconds later I discovered it was you.

Writing is pretty much stagnated. I wrote a page of the Huntress, but I've had homework everyday, and getting home at 5 isn't fun. Of course I've gotten a lot of work done in the library, but urgh. At the moment, I've got to read Catcher in the Rye and the Great Gatsby, I've got to do a powerpoint presentation on 1920s America, and I've got a 700 word essay for Media. Urghhh!

I need a break, and I've only just started!