John Skywalker Posted October 11, 2005 Share Posted October 11, 2005 Ok folks ive been thinking about this for a long time and want to ask you what you think.Im thinking about doing a story about a character called John Skywalker who is the twin of Anakin Skywalker but when they were babies and were sold as slaves John Skywalker was sent to the hutts to be there paige boy while Shmi and Anakin eventually ended up with Watto theres a huge twist which happens and i think ill be doin 6 different stories to this guy there will be characters from all six star wars movies and familiar worlds. i wanna ask your opinion if i should get started at that before i start please tell me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renegade Angel Posted October 11, 2005 Share Posted October 11, 2005 souds kewl! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RC-1162 Posted October 12, 2005 Share Posted October 12, 2005 yeah, but maybe you should write their separation in such a way that Shmi wont remember that she had a son named John. maybe a mind wipe or something could be used. otherwise, the story sounds good. cant wait for the update. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Skywalker Posted October 12, 2005 Author Share Posted October 12, 2005 good idea RC ill keep that in mind i probs will do this story tho i feel excited about writing it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renegade Angel Posted October 13, 2005 Share Posted October 13, 2005 Trust me, you'll like writing fan-fics. I started one and now, In the middle of school I'll get this awsome idea and I have to write it down to rememember it. It takes alot of creativity and imagination, but it's fun. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RC-1162 Posted October 13, 2005 Share Posted October 13, 2005 and John, don forget to remove John skywalker from your story before the PT other wise it will mess with the movies. or end the story before the beginning of any movie. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Skywalker Posted October 13, 2005 Author Share Posted October 13, 2005 yeah i will do that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Skywalker Posted October 13, 2005 Author Share Posted October 13, 2005 i have come up with a prologue first i hope you will enjoy this well it might confuse(why you will think) you but keep reading the chapters when they come and all will come clear FEEDBACK PLEASE Prologue The woman lay on the medbay table screaming.In truth giving birth to a baby hurt bad but she didnt think of the pain she would feel.The med droid gave her some sedatives and painkillers to calm her down and numb the pain,this was working and they were making progress. "I can see the head,keep pushing", the droid said in an emotionless tone. The baby finally came crying out but she was still feeling more pressure. "Theres still one more to go", the droid said while wrapping up the crying baby that had just been born and setting it down in a cot.She pushed until the second one came out the baby was'nt even crying it was looking around at its surroundings."They are both boys",the droid said,"what are these twins to be called?" She looked at the crying baby and said,"ill call him Anakin.......little Ani",she said as Anakin was put in her arms,"and ill call my other son John",she said smiling,"my two sons",she said holding them both tearfully. The woman was put in a dorm in the med center to rest she only had a couple of days before she had to see if Watto won them in the upcoming podrace,we'll manage, she thought to herself. Just then a man walked into the room he had a big coat and didnt look like he was from any where on the Outer Rim let alone Tatooine. He looked at her and said,"Shmi....Shmi Skywalker?" "You know me but i do not know you,what do you want?",Shmi said anxiously. "I am Cypher Dias and i will cut to the chase you will have to give up one of your sons its dangerous keeping them two together" "Of course not",Shmi said fearfully,"their my life,my-",before Shmi could finish Dias walked over and touched her head she instantly fell asleep.Dias had only one option left he would have to wipe her memory its the only way he thought to himself 9 YEARS LATER John woke up with confusion.His dream had been weird he was wondering about the dream when a girl came to the door. "Oh hi Moira",he said still a bit shaken.Moira was three years older than John,who was 9,she had ginger hair a cute face and her left eye was green the right was blue she looked concerned "you look a bit off today John whats wrong" "I had a weird dream.. i was a jedi and i came back to Tatooine to free the slaves",John said this but without any concerns but deep down he had thought it was so real.Trying to get off the subject John spoke again "Moira what are you up to for the day?" "well its a free day for all the slaves so i was thinking we should loot a shop all the way on the other side of mos eisley",Moira said smiling. "Why should we go that far?",John asked curiously "Ive heard the guy just lost his best slave",Moira said informingly "Whats his name?" "His names Watto and he owns a junk shop but he has valuable stuff." "Ok we'll leave in a couple of minutes", John was happy,working for Jabba the Hutt was no easy task but he got days off so he was thankful.John is also the best theif in these parts which he doesnt understand even when he is most likely to get caught he doesnt but John based this on luck.Anyway,whats the worst that can happen John thought to himself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RC-1162 Posted October 13, 2005 Share Posted October 13, 2005 thats good. though you might wanna punctuate it. otherwise its great, keep writing!(if you want to remove john from the story, say that he died in the duel arena on geonosis j/k dont do that.) I'll get this awsome idea ive already got one. im presently discussing it with my best friend at LF. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Skywalker Posted October 13, 2005 Author Share Posted October 13, 2005 lol dieing oon the duel arena would be funny but i want him to live longer lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renegade Angel Posted October 22, 2005 Share Posted October 22, 2005 Pretty good storyline. Me likes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Skywalker Posted October 29, 2005 Author Share Posted October 29, 2005 cheers ill have chapter 1 soon just have to do sum homework:) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hallucination Posted October 29, 2005 Share Posted October 29, 2005 I like this idea, keep it up and it'll be great. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Skywalker Posted October 30, 2005 Author Share Posted October 30, 2005 thanks hallucination Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Skywalker Posted October 30, 2005 Author Share Posted October 30, 2005 I finally got chapter 1 done hope you like it FEEDBACK PLEASE!!!!!! Chapter 1 It took John and Moira a couple of hours to get where they were going. But John was glad that he was with Moira, they were best freinds of course. They stopped outside the junk shop and,not speaking,they knew what to do. The plan always was that Moira would keep the keeper of the place occupied while John would steal. John waited outside while Moira went in to find the owner. "Hello", she called and then a bug looking creature came flying through, he looked disgruntled Moira knew he was grumpy because he lost his best slave. "What do ya' want slave", Watto said to her rather angrily. "Im here for Jabba", Moira lied "he wants to know if you have a spare hyperdrive for a......a tatooine star cruiser". "oh yea follow me into the back i might have one of those",Watto had been shakey as soon as he heard the word Jabba,he then showed Moira out in the back were she was stalling for time asking for all kinds of machines. John's turn was up and he quickly went inside the shop putting spraycans and other small items which him and Moira could sell. He then saw a folded up droid which he fell in love with,it was a service droid for podracers but he could reprogram and upgrade it.He took it and ran outside of the shop waiting for Moira. John liked what he had stolen,this droid will become very useful he thought to himself.Moira then came out of the shop and then John showed her what he had she was impressed about the stolen service droid. They were about to leave when a dark hooded man came up to them draging them along John thought he was taking the back to the junk shop but he was leading them down an alley fear filled him as he didnt know what was happening,he lookd over to Moira who was as scared as he.The hooded man took his hood down his face was red and black and he had smal horns on the top of his head,John dare not look at his fiery gold eyes but noticed he had a lasersword.A jedi! John thought and then he had the confidence to speak. "What do you want from us",John shouted hoping his voice didnt break. "I have come to you with a request", he only looked at John and payed no interest to Moira. "A request?" "I see potential in you and i wish for you to become a Si-...a Jedi Knight"the hooded man finished "But i am a slave i have a-" "that is already sorted i have already payed for you John", the man had an evil smirk,"your chip is deactivated and has been destroyed in your stomach acids..i will not take no for an answer",the man said sternly "Me? a Jedi? its something ive always dreamed of when do we leave im taking my droid!",John finished breathlessly. "We must leave now to a small planet called Naboo" "I dont even know your name" "My names maul,come young one we must go",Maul said this impatiently. John started walking and then he looked back and remembered,"Mister Maul what about my freind Moira",John said knowing the answer. "you have to leave her" he said,"now come" "John this is what you want",Moira said with tears,"i will always remember you" "Moira i will never forget you",John was now tearfull aswell,"As soon as ive completed my training i will come back and free you Moira I promise",she smiled. "We must go we must get to Naboo quickly", Maul said impatiently and started walking.John let go of Moira bade farewell and started walking with Maul with his droid under his arm,he'll be back for her and he knew that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobQel-Droma Posted October 31, 2005 Share Posted October 31, 2005 Interesting. I like how you put Maul in there. The dialogue is reminiscent of Anakin and Shmi, about the "I will come back and free you." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hallucination Posted October 31, 2005 Share Posted October 31, 2005 Interesting...very interesting. Since Anakin became a jedi and then a sith does it mean that John will be a sith and then be a jedi? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Skywalker Posted October 31, 2005 Author Share Posted October 31, 2005 well maybe but youll have to read on to find out lol next chapter soon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hallucination Posted October 31, 2005 Share Posted October 31, 2005 damn.... The one thing I hate about fan fics: You can't skip to the last page to find out whats gonna happen 'cuz their never posted in a complete form. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Analia Posted November 1, 2005 Share Posted November 1, 2005 The storyline is great but it could be improved a little by not having it all so compacted and forgetting capital letters every so often but otherwise it is still great! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Skywalker Posted November 1, 2005 Author Share Posted November 1, 2005 thanks Analia next chapter will be coming soon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RC-1162 Posted November 4, 2005 Share Posted November 4, 2005 good work. though people will understand it better if you punctuate it properly. take my advice: use MS Word, i type my chapters there, correct anything wrong with the auto correct features and then copy-paste it here. PS: and renegade angel, if youre a member of the ARA, then youre against me. no big deal. just wanted you to know.(yes, ive written my very own rap song) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Skywalker Posted November 4, 2005 Author Share Posted November 4, 2005 ok will do RC jus enjoying my revenge of the sith DVD! keep up the advice coming!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Skywalker Posted November 5, 2005 Author Share Posted November 5, 2005 Well heres the next chapter its a short one because chapter 3 is going to be long enjoy:) FEED BACK PLEASE!!! "Always use your emotions when using the force,this will give you more power". "Yes Master Maul", John replied. Mauls spaceship was'nt at all big but for the little sandy haired John it could hold two at most. Hyperspace was taking some time, and while Maul was getting impatient he decided the best way to pass time was to teach John. "Also do you remember the Jedi code?", Maul asked. "Yes Master Maul its There is no fear, there is power. There is no death, there is immortality. There is no weakness, there is the Dark Side. I am the Heart of Darkness. I know no fear, But rather I instill it in my enemies. I am the destroyer of worlds. I know the power of the Dark Side. I am the fire of hate. All the Universe bows before me. I pledge myself to the Darkness. For I have found true life, In the death of the light.", John felt uneasy about those last words but he would obey them anyways, he was more determined to be a jedi now more than anything. "Good boy you will know the extent of this code in time", Maul said,"now go and rest i will wake you when we get to Coruscant." "Coruscant Master?",John asked he thought he was going to Naboo but Maul looked at him and said. "You will be trained by another,not me boy you will be trained by my Master", Maul smiled at John,"you will be trained by Lord Sidious". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hallucination Posted November 5, 2005 Share Posted November 5, 2005 OOOhhhhh interesting. I like where this is going, keep it up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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