KingCheez Posted October 15, 2005 Share Posted October 15, 2005 Just a scene from my upcoming fanfic, which involves Mind Control, Raz and Dart (and countless others, imagine Raz being stuck in Sasha's mind) switching minds, and plenty of hilarity tied in with weirdness and an original plot. But first, I've got to write my crazy uber-short story about Raz. Seriously. It'll be better than you can imagine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Purple Squid Posted October 15, 2005 Share Posted October 15, 2005 Aww, wow. Dart looks adorable! I can't believe markers can look that good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tarkya Posted October 15, 2005 Share Posted October 15, 2005 Woah. That is very awesome. I want to read that story now. O_O Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Purple Squid Posted October 15, 2005 Share Posted October 15, 2005 Hey, Cheez. Are going to post this going-to-be-awesome fic up here? Or somewhere else? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klia Posted October 15, 2005 Share Posted October 15, 2005 Wow..I never even thought of having Dart in fanfiction. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KingCheez Posted October 15, 2005 Author Share Posted October 15, 2005 Going to post it HERE. In fact, here is a prologue. Deep in the eastern deserts, D'Artagnan studied his psychic arts hard. Here, they were considered magical powers, amazing gifts that lifted those in posession of them above the average, to emperors and nobles. He opened a scroll, and read it aloud to himself. "Po...session," he read, very slowly. He read the words across the paper, a chant to awaken his mind control. "Ano Mak'ht Zein, Le Kjh't Nomr, E Knei ze Leig, nas Khag ein Krigzel, op Auerur sles Karantu, sies Tran, Tran, Trentua." As he uttered the words, he realized all too late he had made a mistake. As he dropped the scroll to the ground with a thud, he let out a shout as his mentality left his body, into the Collective Unconscious. At the same time, Razputin cast forth his mental projection towards Sasha, who clumsily lost his footing and fell to the floor. Razputin was flung into the Collective Unconscious, flying straight through D'art, into his body in a hectic flash of fear. "D'Artagnan? D'Artagnan? Why did you scream?" Dart, or rather, Raz, looked up at the old man standing over him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Purple Squid Posted October 15, 2005 Share Posted October 15, 2005 Okay. That is wow. I can not wait to read it. I'm so excited, there aren't enough exclamation marks in the world to punctuate my sentences with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smon Posted October 15, 2005 Share Posted October 15, 2005 This reminds me of a lot of cartoons.... but pretty much everything does, nice work! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KingCheez Posted October 15, 2005 Author Share Posted October 15, 2005 NEW VERSION = THE SECKS Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Purple Squid Posted October 15, 2005 Share Posted October 15, 2005 Are those trees? Because they're friggin sweet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KingCheez Posted October 15, 2005 Author Share Posted October 15, 2005 Well duh. Me + Camera + Forest? Definitely trees. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Purple Squid Posted October 15, 2005 Share Posted October 15, 2005 Argh. Shup. You should know you take very good pictures. In general, I mean. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarthAve Posted October 15, 2005 Share Posted October 15, 2005 those are some awesome trees! Can you make Dart and Raz battle? THAT'D BE AWESOMER THAN MUFFIN BAKING!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ray_the_psychic Posted October 16, 2005 Share Posted October 16, 2005 Great Pic and I love the idea and I need my master Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KingCheez Posted October 18, 2005 Author Share Posted October 18, 2005 THIS IS ACTUALLY LIKE, PART OF THE ENDING. IF YOU REALLY, REALLY DON'T WANT TO SEE ANYTHING THAT HAS NO POTENTIAL OF SPOLING THE PLOT, DON'T READ BELOW "I'll teach you not to mess with my body, Cappy!" "Bring it on, Four-Eyes." With that, Razputin charged forth at D'Artagnan, shoving his hand into his stomach at such an angle he was flung to the ground. They stood on a tall, sandly plateau so high one could not see the ground. Dart made a quick recovery, and punched Razputin in the stomach, grabbing him by his arm and bringing his knee to the wounded area. Razputin doubled over, his leg kicking forth, so high Dart's chin flew straight up. Razputin snuck in one punch and a roundhouse blow, before D'Artagnan tossed a punch right into Razputin's face. Raz narrowly avoided it, and took Dart's extended arm, flipped him over like a pancake, across the plateau. As he charged towards him, Dart put his hand out and the plateau erupted, cracking in half and spreading apart to reveal a magma-filled grave for the loser. They began firing psi-blasts tactically at eachother. A stunned Sasha and Milla climbed the plateau, barely mobile, to see the events that transcended. D'Artagnan jumped across the gorge, when Razputin made a psychic disc and held him back with a Psi-Pulse. Dart jumped back onto the canyon wall, jumping up in a wall-jump fashion, onto Razputin's side of the new canyon. Razputin made a psychic shield to protect himself from Dart's blind fury. D'Artagnan, however, penetrated the shield, and left his fist in place. He turned around smashing another opening with his elbow. He put his back in, to make one last hole. He struck a fist forth, knocking Razputin flying towards the edge of the plateau, right next to Sasha, at the cost of Dart's own hand. "Gryaaaaaaaah!" he screamed, his eyes turning red. Two figures in cloaks stood on the other side of the canyon. "The two fight with ferver, but I have no doubt my D'Artagnan will win," one said. "He has refined his sheer anger into pure force." "I doubt that," said an old, cracking voice. "I know Razputin, and I know he can take quite the challenge." They both laughed. Razputin rose up, near Sasha and Milla. Milla climbed onto the platform, hoisting Sasha up. "Razputin. Now normally, darling, I do not encourage of fighting. But this boy, you must take everything you've learned. He is very strong, and there is no way around this." "Razputin. Remember my advanced technique." Raz produced a psychic sword, grinning with his advantage, but his smirk was wiped off of his face. D'Artagnan did the same, and the two of them began to duel. Raz brung his sword down in a vertical manner, while Dart brought his sword sideways. "This is my Holy Pilgrammage, Razputin," said Dart, bringing his sword back. "They did not intend me to fight. But should you interfere, I must." "I only thought you were trying to take over my body." "I the same, one with Goggles. But, why?" "Razputin," said Sasha. "I may be to blame for that. I tought you wrong, and sent your mentality packing." Razputin and Dart put their swords to the ground, in sheer sorrow and self-blame. As they moved towards eachother to shake hands, a sudden shout occured. The first dark cloaked figure took off his cloak, revealing his face. "My god," said D'Artagnan, "it's you." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ray_the_psychic Posted October 18, 2005 Share Posted October 18, 2005 OMFG That is so good you should send it to Tim! It's friggin' awesome! And I think it's rockin'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Purple Squid Posted October 18, 2005 Share Posted October 18, 2005 Cheez, that was SWEET. Excellent descriptions, cool fight scene, and from what I've heard you got Dart's personality down pat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ray_the_psychic Posted October 18, 2005 Share Posted October 18, 2005 It Rocks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KingCheez Posted October 18, 2005 Author Share Posted October 18, 2005 Wow. Thanks-a-rooney. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KingCheez Posted October 18, 2005 Author Share Posted October 18, 2005 Oh yes. Dart loses his hand. But don't worry. He'll get a metal one. Sorry to all (do they even exist?) Dart-lovers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Purple Squid Posted October 18, 2005 Share Posted October 18, 2005 Oh yes. Dart loses his hand. But don't worry. He'll get a metal one. Sorry to all (do they even exist?) Dart-lovers. GHASP. I wasn't sure about that part in the story, because I didn't expect you to take his hand off... Hopefully he isn't angsty like Anakin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ray_the_psychic Posted October 18, 2005 Share Posted October 18, 2005 Aw man Dart's gon' be a bit more powerful w/ a mental hand. Considering it has mental powers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KingCheez Posted October 18, 2005 Author Share Posted October 18, 2005 I wasn't sure I was either, but then I was like "Well, it'll look cool, am i rite lols" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Purple Squid Posted October 18, 2005 Share Posted October 18, 2005 I wasn't sure I was either, but then I was like "Well, it'll look cool, am i rite lols" It will look pretty cool. Roffle. Totally digging this fic already. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ray_the_psychic Posted October 18, 2005 Share Posted October 18, 2005 Please finish drawing it and post it can't wait THIS STORY ROCKS!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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