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Yes you did. welcome aboard.

 

"I'm telling you, he's a slave laborer, always kidnapping children and forcing them to work on his ship and paying them with cereal, Cap'n Crunch is a cruel, cruel man."-Myself.

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One of lifes great truths is this; when one is about to be hit by a speeding 300 pound coke machine, one need worry about nothing else.

-Stephen King, The Tommyknockers

 

"I'm blind, bald, and pale. I'm like a gigantic recessive gene."

-Jim Gaffigan

 

"You ever read a book that changed your life? Me neither."

-Jim Gaffigan

 

I will tell you, that you Christians have created a holiday that has become a beast that cannot be fed. Every year, Christmas gets longer and longer and longer, and you don't care, do you? You just take more and more of the calendar for yourself. It's unbelievable. How long does it take you people to shop?! It's beyond belief. It's insane. When I was a kid, Halloween was Halloween, and Santa wasn't poking his ass into it!

-Lewis Black.

 

They've gotta stop reporting wind chill. That's nonsense. It really is. I don't know where they came up with it, why they came up with it, but it's a lie. They come on, 'well, it's 27 degrees today, but with the wind chill, it's minus 3.' ... well, then it's minus 3, asshole! I don't need to know what the weather was like if the conditions were perfect!

-Lewis Black

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Ooh! Ooh! Iknowit'sadoublepostbutI'mtooexcitedtoevenusespacingletaloneeditthelastpost

 

I feel like mould It's prom night and i am all a Lo and behold She's walking over to my lip starts to quake my hand starts to shake. How does she know who i am? And why does she give a damn about.. Girl: I've got to tickets to Iron Maiden baby, come with me Friday don't say maybe I'm just a Teenage Dirtbag baby, Like you. ooooohhhooOOHhhHH..... ~Wheatus~ (one of the best songs in the world) Teenage Dirtbag! YAY!!!!!

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Terry Pratchett Quotes

 

"And I promise you this," he shouted, "if we succeed, no-one will remember. And if we fail, no-one will forget!"

-Carrot (Jingo)

 

"But they start off knowing they're not going to win."

"So do I."

"Oh, no, you surely ----"

"I meant that I start off knowing they're not goin' to win, too," said Granny witheringly.

-Letice and Granny Weatherwax (The Sea and Little Fishes)

 

"It killed Old Vincent the Ripper," said Boy Willie. "He choked to death on a concubine."

There was no sound but the hiss of snow in the fire and a number of people thinking fast. "I think you mean cucumber," said the bard.

-The Last Hero

 

"We put all our politicians in prison as soon as they're elected. Don't you?"

"Why?"

"It saves time."

-The Last Continent

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