Anti-Tim RPG

[Miss_Mayhem]

Since Smon wouldn't start it and let me go ahead and do it, here it is! the Anti-Tim RPG! Or would it be the Anti-Anti-Tim RPG??? Hmm...Well, that dastardly Anti-Tim is up to no good and it's up to us forumites to stop him and make the world a better place for creative games like Psychonauts! This is my first RPG by the way.

 

Scenario:

As you should all know, the Anti-Tim is Tim Shafer's evil twin from a parallel universe (props to Smon for bringing this evil character to light) who unlike our beloved Shafer is enemy of creativity and fun. You must keep in mind that these two are opposites as much as possible. But in Anti-Tim's world, games like Psychonauts flourish to no end, and that maddens Anti-Tim in turn as repetitive gameplay and mediocre level design are his forte. He has learned that his (good) twin in our world enjoys a life full of recognition, fans and is generally happy. And that nefarious (and jealous) Anti-Tim has devised a plot to rid of the real Shafer and take over his life, slowly replacing the original's game-design philosophies with his own and pitch a sophomoric shooter to MS as the next big killer-app. Too bad that repetitive action sequences and mediocre design are real sellers here. As to how did he get here? Well, that is one of his closely guarded secrets that we must learn and exploit...

 

Rules:

 

1.It's encouraged to play as yourself in the RPG (for example, I'm playing as myself; Miss_Mayhem) but an OC is acceptable too. You must write your name, age, appearance, gender, personality, weaknesses, and skills down in a bio at the LEAST. If there is more you’d like to include about yourself go right ahead. If playing yourself, You must still write name (plus an alias if you’d like), age, gender and appearance (Be a normal human or be kooky with looks, either is cool), weaknesses (no one is perfect), and skills but personality is not necessary as we all know another well enough for this to work.

 

2.No god-modding or anything that gives you an unfair advantage.

 

3. Don't kill another person's character off.

 

4. Dont use someone elses character in a way that can/will/would affect any plot thang we might have goin'. Only use someone elses character for dialog purposes and try to keep it minimal.

 

5. Dont try to start a romance with someone if the love-interest in question is against it. You can try to have the Nils thang goin and hit on all the fellow members of the opposite gender, but dont try for anything serious if the person doesn't like the idea.

 

6. Keep this within the rated 'T' category. Honestly, do we want risqué makeout sessions or cannibals eating us alive with their bare hands? Probably not, at least, I dont.

 

7.You cant play any of the campers or counselors in the RPG ...yet. Hopefully, we'll get to the point where the canon-characters from Psychonauts are up for grabs and you can play 2 people if you'd like (we just need a dimension-hopping device to get there...). Since you'd have control of that person, you get liberties with rules 3, 4 and 5 that only apply to them. So Pyro, if you call dibs on him first, Sasha can so crush on you. I call dibs on Lili!. You might as well call shotgun and dib canon-characters now for the future.

 

8. DONT SPAM! Lets try to keep this on topic

 

9. No bashing!!! If you must make a derogatory remark about someone on RD for comedic or ambiance purposes, make the person up.

 

Well, now that we have the rules down (in retrospect, it seems like alot but they are all necessary) lets start this! Hopefully, we can get to the ass-kicking soon, there will be , and : ...maybe, and we all hafta meet first somehow if that should happen. Kay, the RPG starts.........NOW!!

 

Name: Miss_Mayhem, also known as Mayhem

Age: 13

Gender: female

Appearance: shoulder length dark hair that is let loose, tanned skin, vampire teeth, elfish ears and reddish eyes. She (I, wow this is weird) wears denim capris and a yellow pacman t-shirt (ooh! Pennyarcade reference!) with a longsleeve white shirt underneath. On the smallish side, and thin (kay, that 4TR is true about me, I am too thin, I prefer the term willowy or lithe though).

Weaknesses: horrible at actual physical activity

Skills: stealthy, can fit into small spaces, enhanced senses, wicked elf abilities such as mild empathy powers and having a degree of control over nature, knows a few spells (ead: 2!) and is good at shotting with either bows/arrows or guns.

 

Another day. Another angry flame ware. That was to be expected on Razputin.net forums. Nothing stayed on-topic for too long there, something Mayhem had learned long ago and found refreshing compared to other stiff message-boards she had joined and abandoned. She sat at a computer set in her room in the wee hours of the night, replying to a random thread and not trying to get caught up in the angry flame-war that had sprung up between Genericdude#1 and FangirlLOL who were notorious for the way they could rile anyone up and derail a thread. Their angry banter was funny really. FangirlLOL responded to a post with a menacing "Sic the Anti-Tim on 'im!".

 

Genericdude#1 replied: "*shrugs off* meh, he's not real."

 

Smon responded angrily: *eye-twitch* He is real! Don’t lie or deny his existence, for he is out there...watching our every move.

 

Mayhem rolled her eyes and began clacking away on the pc, writing something along the lines of, "The Anti-Tim real, duh. Everyone knows tat" She was promptly vocabupwned seconds later.

 

Meanwhile in San Fran..

 

The rain poured down relentlessly, and it did not make escape any easier for the man. For those who knew him, he stuck out like a sore thumb. Probably the beard... This man was Tim Shafer, and for once he felt terrified. The glaring lights of the Weinermobile flashed from behind him, and his legs worked overtime to outrun the monstrosity. Just then, he saw a glimmer of hope. Praying that his assumption to prove true, Shafer abruptly sped to the right. The Weinermobile was stuborn and followed. Fatigue wearing him down, Tim was relieved to hear the shrill bell ring. He dared to slow down and faced his enemy. It stared right back and began to advance with the whirring noise it tended to make. Tim's death would not be that day, as a flood of children gushed from the school's front entrance, and the kids found little option but to crowd around the hotdog-shaped vehicle.

 

Tim smirked and made his getaway, hidden from view. Now at a park, he slowed down, and found himself being pulled into the shady confines of a shrub. "Manny? Oh, it's just you, thank God! I though it had been that damn Weinermob--"

 

His employee groaned, "You know that Anti-Tim is after you, you cant walk around without protection! You have those guards afterall...how did you escape their sights anyway? Well, whatever, but that freak car isn't the worst of things that Anti-Tim has up his sleeve. We are going to need help, ya know."

 

Tim stood up and tugged free from the bushes, "I think I know who can help us, the only other people who know of Anti-Tim ... What site has the largest congregation of rabid and dedicated Psychonauts fans?"

 

Mannycrawled free from the shrub himself, "Um, Razputin.net, I think. Why? Ohh noo, you don't mean to..."

 

Tim's eyes narrowed, "Yep. Send them the message. Only they can help us now."

 

(I hope noone was OOC, if so, Sorry. And yeah, this was long and kinda crummy but this was the best way I could think to set it up). JOIN! HAVE FUN! NOW!

[Mashi An'krekku]

Name: Mashi An'krekku (but please don't refer to me by my last name)

Age: 16

Gender: Female

Species: Feline

Race: Being

Example Appearace

Weaknesses: Music, shiny things.

Skills: All skills of declawed cats...jumping on furniture, sleeping, eating, being generally lazy sometimes, playfulness. Plus ungood DDR skills and a lovely singing voice!

 

===

 

Meanwhile at the Razputin.net Forums, Mashi was being annoying as usual, singing They Might Be Giants lyrics and drumming on the wall.

 

"By rocket to the moon, by airplace to the rocket, by taxi to the airport, by front door to the taxiii! By throwing back the blanket hanging down the legs..."

 

Then she forgot the lyrics and starting humming and dancing terribly. She tripped over a rock with a face drawn on it.

 

"Damn you, Steve. ...I regret making you the leader. ...NO YOU." Apparantly, she's talking to a rock. Nice one. "Hey, at least the demonic head-bird would be a better leader than you!"

[Miss_Mayhem]

'Ah yes', Mayhem grumbled as FangirlLOL posted a particularly idiotic remark aimed at her, Fighting the urge to engage in her tomfoolery (gasp! I finally used that word, w00t!) Mayhem closed the thread, about to open a thread named 'Interesting Smells' that had caught her attention. " I should change my avatar first," She mused, clicking on the 'user cp' button. She was alerted to a new PM from...Tim Shafer?. Curiosity overcoming her, she opened it. What was written confuzzled poor Mayhem. It read,

" Dear Miss_Mayhem, we here at DoubleFine are requesting the services of fellow Psychonaut fans from Razputin.net to assist us in the fight against the Anti-Tim. Surely you have heard of the jerk. Rally with other members at RD, this will be like so totally epic, d00derz! An email with an attachment awaits in your yahoo. Sincerely, Tim Shafer

 

More confuzzled than before, Mayhem clicked back to The Mental Minx's off-Topic Party. Hmm..Mashi was on right now. Clicking on her name nelow a thread she had started, mayhem sent Mashi a PM that read, "Mashi??? I just got this 00ber-weird pm from Tim Shafer...did you get one? I'monna ask the others..."

 

(Oh, and before I forget, everything here that refers to real people is used in a parodic manner and no mony is made, such as no character is defamed either. In fact, if you can't tell, we are all fans of Tim' work)

[KingCheez]

Name: Pyramid Head

Age: he's... some kind of... OLD.

Gender: male

Race: DEMON!!1

Appearance:

Weaknesses: Slow, dumb, can't talk no english.

Skills: Ridiculous amounts of physical strength.

 

Pyramid Head wandered around the LF, occasionally cutting down a popup or banner filled with spyware with his Great Knife. That's pretty much all he does.

[Mashi An'krekku]

Mashi gave a thumbs up at Pyramid Head. "Yeah, you kill those popups." Suddenly her User CP beeped. Because it can. ANd she got a new PM.

Two, actually.

 

"Hey, PH. Tim Schafer needs our help." Suddenly she appeared wearing a White Mage's robe. "Round up the neighborhood. It's time to go to war!"

 

There was a bitter silence, as Mashi was fuming at Steve's latest remark. "I'M AWARE I'M NOT A WHITE MAGE, STEVE. SHUT THE F00k UP!"

[Miss_Mayhem]

An annoying pop-up dared to ... pop-up just as the PM was sent, but before it completely ...pop-upped, a sprite sword cut through it. Pyramid. Seeing as he was active, Mayhem PMed Pyramid:

 

*pantomining entire time* Kay you speaky no English, blah-blah, talk talk, Tim Shafer sent me a PM! *more pantomine* You 2? n33d l33t $p33k?

[Mashi An'krekku]

[A note: Pyramid Head talks in growls and grunts. I know this because I...do. I assume he understands it, though.]

 

Mashi walked out of her thread on the search for a highly populated one. Steve was with her, being the voice of anti-reason as always.

 

"SHUT UP, STEVE OR I'LL THROW YOU OFF THE DAMN CLIFF."

[KingCheez]

Pyramid Head followed Mashi about. "Grrig?" It asked.

[Mashi An'krekku]

"No," she responded. "I'm making the thread...THAT'S IT STEVE. YOU'RE DEAD." She threw the rock off that cliff that was previously mentioned. It hit someone on the head.

 

[Wonder who?]

[KingCheez]

Pyramid Head walked over to a UGO advertisement and chopped it up, before returning to following Mashi around, dragging his knife along the ground, making the worst, most terrible screeching noise, ever.

[Miss_Mayhem]

OW *Dies then regenerates* Mayhem types, "was Steve being a jackass again? And that Anti-Tim thing ... it's creepy. We should drag Steve along to die. he's dispensable"

[Smon]

Name: Brandon "Smon" Waldmann

Age: 15

Gender: Male

Species: Human

Example Appearace:

Weaknesses: Poor spelling, cowboys.

Skills: Can enter the internet... that's right. I'm not typing this. I'm saying it.

 

Smon was typing on the computer posting around the LFRD when suddenly he got a PM. It said simply. "Dude, Anti-Tim, action go.".

 

"...I ****IN' KNEW IT."

 

Smon quickly typed into the address prompt of Firefox: *@[=g3,8d]\&fbb=-q]/hk%fg and then pressed delete. Suddenly his screen glowed and pulled him into the internet where he started a thread called "I ****IN' TOLD YOU SO." and waited.

[Miss_Mayhem]

A new thread! Mayhem entered and excitedly typed: You too? You got the PM??? d00derz, 'tis quite weird... seeing as you are the local Anti-Tim specialist, what should we do? I mean, you can tell if it's the real TIm and not some prank, right? I looked into my Yahoo and there was an attachment. I thought it was a virus...should I open it yet?

[Smon]

Smon quickly posted. "Hell yes you should open it, all life as we know it may cease to be if you don't!"

[pyrohappygirl]

Name: Pyrohappygirl

 

Nick names: (I just thought I'd add them) Pyro, Madz.

 

Age: Almost twelve.

 

Gender: Female (Hence pyrohappyGIRL)

 

Race: Elven psychic

 

Appearance: Tall, pale and thin. She's got like, pointy ears, and her hair is ginger with red streaks (But she dyes it a lot) She wears a pair of dark blue trackpants with a repeated white CCC logo in green down the side. She has a black t-shirt with a picture of fire on it, with the quote 'fire is pretty' on it. Over the top is an open purple vest and she has a pink, red and orange crystal necklace around her neck. Her teeth are bright white and her eyes are forever glowing like fire. If she ever dies, they would burn out and return to their natural colour, a pale green. Some of her accesories include a backpack that seems to have INFINITE room currently holding a limitless supply of dye and cookies, a black guitar with a purple flame painted on it, and a large, imposing silver sword.

 

Weaknesses: She's a slow runner, she has a history of falling over nothing, she can be rather indecisive. Can't balance... Scared of heights... Scared of falling... Scared of drowning... And can't swim very well, so tends to avoide swimming.

 

Skills: She can set stuff on fire... And psy-blast... And sing really well. Oh. She always has dye with her if you need it. Mainly red dye... And she has good skills with a blade. And a guitar.

 

Likes: Sasha Nein (Dibs on him if Psychonauts characters come into this), Razputin Aquato, Psychonauts, Lucasforums (What can I say? MOST OF YOU GUYS ROCK!!!)Green Day, Music, Bonus Stage, fire... And psychic powers (YUSS! My online identity who you know me as IS in fact psychic!!! But she can only use pyrokinesis and psy-blast) warm colors.

 

Dislikes: School, working, homework, chores, water.

 

Personality: You should know what I act like by now!!!

 

Pyro sat and stared at the screen, her eyes glazed over.

"Oh man, another PM from someone. I get so many... Not really," She mumbled. The little voice inside her head shuffled around weirdly.

"Okay, time to see if it's another insult," She mumbled, clicking on the link in her e-mail and looking at the page.

"Wait a second..." She mumbled.

"TIM SCHAFER HAS A LUCASFORUMS ACCOUNT!?!?!" She cried.

"That's scary..." She mumbled, clicking on the button to read the message entitled 'help'

"He's... Being attacked by anti-tim? Weird... I thought Smon just made it up," She mumbled, scanning through the message. At the bottom, after explaining the help he needed, it only said, 'PM someone'

"WHATEVER YOU SAY TIM!!!" Pyro yelled, rushing off to the boards to post her message.

 

As she reached the off-topic board, she noticed something. It was... deserted. Normally, this was the time everyone was on, but... Nobody was... She was scared.

"Hello?" She thought, clicking on a topic.

"Man, this is... Eerie," She mumbled. Suddenly, some form of magical thing happened and Pyro found herself in cyber space.

"Ooh fun," She mumbled. She looked over to her left and saw a guy attacking pop-ups. He stopped attacking abruptly, and began to follow a cat-girl around. Pyro recognised the girl immediately.

"Hey Mashi! Hi!" She called, running over to said cat-human hybrid.

[DarthAve]

Name: Avery

Age: 15

Gender: female

Appearance: Too damned sexy to describe.

Weaknesses: Fanny Packs, mesh clothing, Gemma Ward

Skills: fashion sence, Napoleon-like dance moves, a feirce strut

 

Ave then walked in on everyone convo.

 

"Yo? What's shacken' my homies?" she said.

[pyrohappygirl]

"Oh. Hi Darth," Pyro mumbled. Fiddling with some fire she had conjured up.

[KingCheez]

Pyramid Head swung around and killed another pop-up, as spyware came flooding out of it as it died. He walked away, once again.

[DarthAve]

"PYRAMID HEAD? OMG! I haven't seen you since 'The Hunt is On.' Dude, where ya been?" Ave said, running after pyramid head.

[pyrohappygirl]

Pyro blinked. She felt left out, due to the fact no-one cared she existed.

"I'm sad..." She sobbed, sitting down.

[St. Jimmy]

Name: St. Jimmy

Age: Not sure...

Gender: So damn male!

Species: Human

Apperance: There aren't very many clear photos of me but I have large white wings on my back and I always seem to have a white 'censor' line over my eyes. I'm tall, have dark hair, and I don't wear a shirt.

Habits:I tend to look down whenever I walk. I really don't give a **** what people think and I REFUSE to be a victim of authority. I represent the needle in the vain of the establishment. There's more but I won't bore you with Green Day quotes. (Go listen to the song.)

Strengths: Incredibly Defiant, Strong, Will stand up for anything I belive in, Am allways on a rush, Won't take **** from anyone!

weakness': Can't handle Authority. An ex-girlfriend called Whatsername.

Skills: I'm a badass.

 

*Is wandering aimlessly* *See's Mashi* "Ooh, a Cat person hybrid thing! that's pretty hot!" (heh.) *follows mashi*

[Mashi An'krekku]

Mashi hadn't been paying attention for awhile. "What? Huh? Oh ****! There's more people following me!" She started having a anxiety attack. "Steve sent you all, didn't he?" She shouted off the cliff. "**** YOU STEVE!"

She turned around, her bi-polar disorder making her happy. "Hey, guys," she said, waving. "What's up?"

 

Suddenly a flier flew into her face. "Hey, Smon started a thread!"

[Miss_Mayhem]

Taking heed to Smon's reply, Mayhem maximised her yahoo page, and with a deep breath ... she opened the link.

 

"Hey You!" her mother called from another room.

 

Mayhem flipped her head in her mom's voice's direction, "I have a real name ya knwo-ahh! oh shee--"

 

Her computer screen glowed a strong but soft white. And like that, the world around her, namely her room, faded away in the blinding white. She felt as if she was falling...And like that, she just stopped. Mayhem was utterly confuzzled. She was in a... where was she? It was white and featureless, like floating in a pool of milk, just that it didn't smell so bad. And off in the distance, she saw Smon, Jimmy, Avery, Pyramid, Pyro and Mashi, "...So she really IS a catgirl.."

 

Just then, a familiar sultry, disembodied voice thundered, "hello ther mayhem, this is the voice of the Rapid Transit System. I can take on other voices to--"

 

"JOHNNY DEPP!" Mayhem pleaded.

 

"Fine," The RTS spoke in his voice, "This is cyberspace, and you got here with some fancy device with a really long name created by Proffesor Farnsworth. It is accesible even though the proffesor is from a different dimension as all the websites in the world, even from other dimensions are interconnected. You just cant access the ones from alternate dimensions as they are deep-web sites to us. Look deep-web up on wikipedia, I dont feel like it. Anyway, everyone here has gotten the PM, and as soon as you can all get it together we should be able to teleport you to whereever you are needed."

 

But Mayhem wasn't listening, she was too busy chatting it up at this point.

[DarthAve]

Ave stood inside the interweb. "FINALLY I CAN HAVE SOME REAL FUN!" She surfed over to google and googled google.

[Miss_Mayhem]

Mayhem turned her attention to Avery who was uh websurfing, "hey Avery! You gonna help us kill that uber-jerk, the Anti-Tim?"