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Anti-Tim RPG


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Pyro stared blankly at the chaos unfolding.

"Oh shiznit, my lawyers will kill me if I don't show up in court tomorrow defending my case as an 'innocent', and that I haven't killed anyone," Pyro said, her eyes shifting shiftily.

"I mean, I didn't set anyone on fire on PURPOSE," She said. She received blank stares from Mashi and the others.

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"Wow!" Jimmy remarked. "So many of us are really stupid. I mean, I can't think of ANYTHING productive (except pizza) Lena keeps getting pwned by the wienermobile, Ave's run off, Mashi's been declawed, Smon's done nothing and the only one of us who IS doing anything is sitting up on top of a building!"

*Mashi smacks Jimmy again*

"shut up moral lowerer!*

*Jimmy rubbed his head where scratch marks should have been*

"I'm just Saying!" Jimmy whined while taping Silly String cans together.

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"AH! MY WINGS!" Jimmy yelled "Do you have any idea how much they stink when they burn!?" (Note: seriously, go outside and burn some feathers.) "Believe me I know!" He went on... He was getting ready to backhand Pyro out of rage when Ave caught his hand and scowled "don't be stupid. We need someone to set things on fire."

"But I can do that with my mad little lighter!" Jimmy pulled out his wicked little cigarette lighter. "yes, but Pyro doesn't need a lighter, and we need someone who THINKS fire..." And with that, Ave ran off again.

"Fine." Jimmy sulked, nursing his scorch marks.

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"Yes, yes." *brushing charcoal off of self* "Phantoms are good. Zones are pretty good too. Projectors are alright." At this point Pyro was coming near him with a flame. "OH HELL NO!" St. Jimmy yelled and smacked her upside the face. "Owch!" she rubbed her face and shot him again. "I say we try for the ocean approach." Jimmy scowled. "Jet-mode or no, we can allways try. Plus it's allways fun sinking evil cars." He said over a mouthfull of pizza.

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"I think you misunderstand. The Phantom Zone Projector is a powerful tool used by superheroes to trap villains in a vile dimension parallel to our own, one way in, no way out. The ocean plan may fail, but the PZP can't."

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"Can't I just kill this guy?" Said Chuck Norris.

"NO!" Smon yelled. "You're too powerful. You could create a universe of destruction with one swift roundhouse kick. The world would implode!!"

"Yes. Now you pet some puppies and then destroy them. Norris AWAY!" Chuck Norris then flew off.

 

"What'd I miss?" Said, Ave in a jedi costume.

"You change your clothes. A lot." Mashi said.

"You know, I just have to find the right thing."

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Pyro got out some dye and began to dye her hair.

"You dye your hair a lot," Mashi mumbled.

"I know," Pyro sighed, throwing some blue highlights into the mix.

"And DONE," She cried, revealing her now blue and black hair.

"Anyway, I reckon Smon's right. Just one thing," Pyro sighed, darting into a nearby set of toilets and changing clothes.

"I have to wear this," She said, stepping out. She was wearing the same trackpants, but now she had red goggles and a green striped turtlneck with short sleeves.

"So I like to change clothes. Who cares?"

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"Hey! Those are MY goggles." Mashi whined as Lena stumbled out of the dumpster.

"Did someone say PHANTOM ZONE PROJECTOR?!" the lemur said, pulling said machine-thinger out from behind her back.

"Where did you get that?" Smon asked.

"I found it in the dumpster. Dumpsters are miracle-making machines."

"Dumpsters aren't machines," Mashi corrected while she was wrestling her goggles off of Pyro.

"Whatever. I still found the thing. BE HAPPY!" She threw it in the general direction of Smon, assuming he knows how to use it.

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"EXCELLENT! I do know to use it! It's very simple, red button is imprison, green button is communicate, and blue button is release, AH CRAP." he pressed it and General Zod leaped out of the Phantom Zone "I AM FREE." he then flew away. "...we'll worry about that later."

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"We're never getting into this bus." Ave said, in a bunny suit.

"YES WE ARE!" said a booming voice

"OMG SUPERMAN?"

"No."

"BATMAN?"

"No."

"...The Watchman?"

"FOR GOD SAKES NO!"

"Than who?"

"TIM GUNN!!"

Tim than jumped off the roof or DF, wearing his pinstripe suit.

"What are your powers Tim Gunn?"

"Gunn?" Smon said. If you mess with the Gunn, your gonna get shot."

"EXACTLY! I'm gonna open the door for you guys."

"KILLER QUEEN!" Ave yelled in a Wonder Woman costume

 

Tim than used his fashion ray to open the Weinermobile door. "Carry on!" He said. Then he hopped into his Saturn Sky Roadster and drove off to Parsons.

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"Have you guys noticed how Ave seems to attract randoms alot?"

A bolt hit the seat just as the door opened and everyone looked up and remembered that Mayhem was still there.

"Anyway," Jimmy went on, "If Ave can get people here all the time then so can I!"

*St. Jimmy rips through the fabric of coolness and pulls out...* "A Spartan!" He yelled.

"okay MC, You have to go and 'commandere' that Wienermobile!" Jimmy ordered.

"But I'm not-"

"I don't care just hurry up!"

So the Spartan (who's armour was a strange tinge of blue) carefully approached the vehicle. and was immediately run over.

"What!?" Jimmy yelled. "Hey what's that writing hanging in the air? 'H377R4I23R was splattered by the Wienermobile?' Oh, Bloody hell! I just got a n00b killed from a multiplayer game!"

"So what now?" Pyro asked.

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"I get the good randoms. You have to have the hook-ups. and to get the hook-ups, you need the skills." Said Ave, wearing a Dr. Z costume. "And to have the skillz, you gotta have the wardrobe. i'll show you. CA COOO! CA COOO!!!"

 

Then a bunch of owls flocked to her. "We need you to get on the Weinermobile and peck out the windows. Then fly in and drag out anti Tim. If you want some mice, You'd better do this right."

 

So the owls did what she told her to. They flew to the bus, remensicient of 'The Birds' and pecked out the windows. then the hundreds of owls flew into the weinermobile and dragged out the evil Anti Tim!"

 

"OHSNAP OWLS!!" he yelled as he was dropped into the street. Ave pulled out a bucked of mice and yelled "GO FOR IT BOYS!" At which the owls began to feast on the many rats.

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"I am SO GOING TO KICK YOUR ASS FOR PLAYING THAT BLOODY MUSIC!!!!!!!!!" Jimmy psyco-screamed. Miss Mayhem was suddenly with them again. "No you're not." she said. "We need him."

"For WHAT!?" he said irately, still advancing

"Not sure yet."

"Just a little ass-kicking?" he asked patheticly.

"fine."

~censored~

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