darthvixen06 Posted October 17, 2006 Share Posted October 17, 2006 Chapter 1 Tahl had just died and Qui-Gon had been mourning her death for hours. Obi-Wan had been worrying about his master. He went into Tahls room to check on his master.(Qui-Gon loved Tahl,but no one knew.)"How can I help you master?"said Obi-Wan."There is no way you can help me now my apprentice, only revenge can help me now, revenge on balog, otherwise there is no hope for me my young apprentice." Qui-Gon had said words against the jedi code,but Obi-Wan just disregaurded it because he thought he just said those words to exspress his feelings,but wouldn't do what he said.'' We need to contact the Jedi Council about Tahls death,master."said Obi-Wan."Do it yourself padawan, I want to stay with Tahl, I trust you can do that."with those words Qui-Gon put alot of trust into Obi-Wan. "Yes master, I will do it immediatly."said Obi-Wan. Qui-Gon moved to a mourning room where it was blue.It was blue because blue is the mourning color of the planet New Apsoion.He stayed there while Obi-Wan contacted the Jedi Council. Mace Windu responded to the call. "We will send a jedi team of two immediatly." Yes, master Windu, we will wait." Obi-Wan said. It took two standard hours for the jedi team to arrive. They arrived in a standard space shuttle,thi suprised Obi-Wan. First, he saw the tall, black jedi master, Mace Windu.Then the one he was most suprised to see, was his good freind, Bant.He was releived that the jedi team was here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ali Gelmar Posted October 17, 2006 Share Posted October 17, 2006 you most probubly did potsie. To be honest with you it wasn't very good in the future Darth Vixen think before you post a chapter shorter then even a Prologue. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diego Varen Posted October 17, 2006 Share Posted October 17, 2006 We should try not to be harsh. On other places, Forums, etc, they're just cruel to the writer. I've had it, posting one of my popular Fics from here. Anyway, feel free to check the sticky Thread, Tips for Good Fanfics in the CEC Forum. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HK-42 Posted October 19, 2006 Share Posted October 19, 2006 I belive this is like the book The Call of Vengence A jedi Apprentice book... So this is its AU? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
darthvixen06 Posted January 17, 2007 Author Share Posted January 17, 2007 sorry it take so long. and on the spacing thanks for telling me i will do it next time. My next chapters will be longer. i will post another one soon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fredi Posted January 17, 2007 Share Posted January 17, 2007 Tip: Take time for you're ideas, try to give double space for the readers ,Divided the dialogs and very important if you have problem in spelling or in ideas try to find someone who can help you........ if you need some thing let me know Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
darthvixen06 Posted February 7, 2007 Author Share Posted February 7, 2007 this story is an au on the jedi apprentice series "The Call to Vengence" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Catto Posted February 10, 2007 Share Posted February 10, 2007 I like the general idea of the story, even though i have not read the actual book, "The Call to Vengence". Hopefully you will post another chapter soon? I would like to see more of this, and it would be wise to take the time to go through and read the stickies . Welcome to the Forums, by the way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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