Master Jimmy Posted December 21, 2006 Share Posted December 21, 2006 Alright... First off, looking back on it, "The Beginning of the Galactic Empire" was a stupid name. 3/4 of the story wasn't about Anakin's rise to power, but what he would do, so that answers the question about the title. Looking back on it again, there were parts where I had "dashed" off with (thanks mach). So I decided to do a remaster of "The Beginning of the Galactic Empire" and hope it's much better than the last one I did. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jason Skywalker Posted December 21, 2006 Share Posted December 21, 2006 Cool, i'm looking forward to it M.J. Mind i call you that or does it resemble alot Mary Jane's nickname? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Master Jimmy Posted December 21, 2006 Author Share Posted December 21, 2006 Nah, I don't care. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Master Jimmy Posted December 21, 2006 Author Share Posted December 21, 2006 Dark times have struck the galaxy. ANAKIN SKYWALKER has betrayed his Jedi friends and allied with the Sith. PALPATINE has announced the destruction of democracy and the birth of the GALACTIC EMPIRE... Believing there is still good in her husband, PADME SKYWALKER flies to the planet Mustafar to save Anakin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CSI Posted December 21, 2006 Share Posted December 21, 2006 ......Looking forward to it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Master Jimmy Posted December 22, 2006 Author Share Posted December 22, 2006 Padme Skywalker sat in the co-pilot seat of her star cruiser and thought to herself in disbelief, Was Obi-Wan telling the truth? Has Ani fallen to the dark side? she thought. She went out of hyperspace and noticed a crimson planet. It was Mustafar. If she could find Artoo, she would find Anakin. She hovered over the surface to find a landing pad. All she found were rivers of lava, until she passed a lavafall, and saw a lava refinery. She looked at it to see that a ship was already there, but she had recognized the droid that accompanied it. It was Artoo. She landed straight away. Upon landing, she gazed at a tower to notice a hooded figure standing beside it. The first thought that came to her mind was That's Ani! I know it is. She lowered the loading ramp and dashed off the ship. Anakin was already there and greeted her with a hug. "I saw your ship." he said "What are you doing out here?" "Obi-Wan... told me terrible things." replied Padme. "What things?" asked Anakin. "He told me... that you turned to the dark side. That you... killed younglings." she remembered. "Obi-Wan is trying to turn you against me." lied Anakin. "He cares about us." told Padme. "Us?" asked Anakin. "He knows... he wants to help you. Anakin... all I want is: your love." "Love won't save you Padme, only my new powers can." "For what cost? You're a good person, don't do this." "I have become more powerful than any Jedi has ever dreamed of and I'm doing it for you -- to protect you." "Come away with me, help me raise our child, leave all this behind while we still can." "Don't you see? We don't have to run away anymore. I have become more powerful than the chancellor, I-I can overthrow him... and you and I can rule the galaxy. Make things the way we want them to be." Padme backed away in horror "I don't believe what I'm hearing... Obi-Wan was right, you've changed." Anakin sighed and shook his head "I don't wanna hear about Obi-Wan anymore." he demanded "The Jedi turned against me, don't you turn against me." "I don't know you anymore." she whimpered "Anakin, you're breaking my heart. You're going down a path I can't follow." "Because of Obi-Wan?" Anakin looked past Padme and saw someone who he was not happy to see. "Because of what you've done. What you plan to do. Stop! Stop now while you still have a chance. I love you." Anakin turned back to Padme "LIAR!" Padme looked behind her and was surprised that Obi-Wan had followed her. "NO!" she begged. "You're with him! You brought him here to kill me!" Anakin raised his hand and used the Force to choke Padme. He knew through her gags that she begged for mercy. "Let her go, Anakin!' Obi-Wan ordered, but Anakin didn't listen "Let -- Her -- Go!" he told again. Anakin let her down, she was passed out. Anakin turned back to Obi-Wan "You turned her against me!" he yelled. "You have done that yourself!" Obi-Wan countered. "YOU WILL NOT TAKE HER FROM ME!" "Your anger and your lust for power have already done that. You have allowed this... Dark Lord to twist your mind, until now... until now you have become the very thing you swore to destroy-" lectured Obi-Wan "Don't lecture me Obi-Wan." interrupted Anakin "I see through the lies of the Jedi. I do not fear the Sith as you do. I have brought peace, justice and security to my new empire." "Your new empire?" Obi-Wan asked surprised. "Don't make me kill you." "Anakin, my alliegience is with the republic, WITH DEMOCRACY!" "If you're not with me, then you're my enemy." "Only a Sith deals in absolutes." said Obi-Wan, pulling out his lightsaber. The corner of Anakin's eye caught that movement "You just made a big mistake." he told. Anakin ignited his and backflipped towards his former master. Anakin was more than masterful in blade combat, he caught Obi-Wan many times, but Obi-Wan was a little more agile than aggressive. The two fought ferociously around the landing pad. Obi-Wan tried to sweep kick, but Anakin saw it coming and did a backflip kick and knocked Obi-Wan onto a walkway into heading to the facility. "You don't need to do this, Anakin. Turn away from the dark side, face up to what you've done. I can help you." told Obi-Wan. "It's too late, you're too late, you only want to help yourself!" argued Anakin. "You know that's not true." told Obi-Wan as he fled into the facility. Anakin caught up to him in a hallway. The two continued fighting as their sabers scratched against the wall in between blows. Obi-Wan delivered a kick to Anakin's knee, giving him an edge to flee. Obi-Wan made a wrong turn and got stuck in a meeting room with no way out except the way you came in. Anakin followed him and the two fought again on the table. Anakin attempted to stab Obi-Wan, but it was inaccurate and went past his head. Obi-Wan kneed Anakin in the gut and used the Force to push him away. Anakin lost the grip of his lightsaber and it fell into the corner of the room. Anakin jumped back up onto the table with no weapon, Obi-Wan flipped his saber around and tried to skew Anakin, but Anakin caught Obi-Wan's wrist and puched Obi-Wan in the gut very hard, following that, he then began choking him. Anakin then turned Obi-Wan's lightsaber against him, until he kneed Anakin in the tailbone. Anakin rolled and recovered from the kick. Obi-Wan shook his head and got ready for Anakin again. Anakin dashed towards Obi-Wan and gave him a dropkick. Obi-Wan quickly recovered and clotheslined Anakin before he could land another blow. Anakin landed on his back and Obi-Wan quickly tried to kill Anakin. Anakin reached for his lightsaber with the Force, caught it, and blocked Obi-Wan's blow. Anakin pushed Obi-Wan back and regained his footing. Obi-Wan jumped off the table and ran out of the room. Anakin followed and the fighting continued. Both got caught in a saber lock, Anakin's metal arm was superior in strength compared to Obi-Wan alone. Simoultaniously, they both tried to push eachother away. The power was to much and they both were thrown to separate sides of the room. Anakin leapt across the room and attempted to strike Obi-Wan before he could recover. Obi-Wan dodged the attack and Anakin ended up slashing the stablizer controls. Obi-Wan tried to flee again, but he ended up getting kicked out of the room by Anakin as he followed. Obi-Wan didn't try to fight there, he knew that Anakin's strength was superior to his. Instead, he jumped on a thin pipe below, and he would try to best Anakin by hitting him off the pipe into the lava. Anakin obvoiusly followed him. Both were trying very hard to keep their balance. Even a droid took a break from his job to catch a bit of the action. Obi-Wan jumped down onto a walkway below. Anakin followed and the fighting began again. But the fighting was interrupted by constant bursts of lava, now that the facility wasn't stablizing the bursts. When a large wave of lava covered a small portion of the walkway, Anakin and Obi-Wan fled to the end of the walkway to avoid broken cables whipping at them. The walkway broke off from the rest of the facility and began falling down towards the lava river. both climbed up to avoid getting engulfed by the lava river. Anakin caught up to Obi-Wan and began swiping at him. Obi-Wan grabbed a broken cable and swung off. Anakin grabbed one too and did the same. Both were fighting as they swung away and towards the fallen walkway. Obi-Wan then saw a lavafall in the direction of where they were headed. Obi-Wan jumped away and landed on a platform hovering over the lava. Anakin swung back onto the walkway and leapt an amazing length onto the head of a droid. Anakin used the Force to direct it towards Obi-Wan. "I have failed you Anakin... I have failed you." said Obi-Wan. "I should have seen that the Jedi were plotting to take over." told Anakin. "Anakin, Chancellor Palpatine is evil!" "From my point of view, the Jedi are evil!" "WELL THEN YOU ARE LOST!" Anakin hovered over to the other side of the hovering platform. "This is the end for you, my master." After that, Anakin flipped over Obi-Wan and dodged the swipe at his legs. Anakin landed on the edge of the platform and almost lost his balance, but quickly regained it. He got the edge over Obi-Wan, but didn't kill him. Obi-Wan saw a safe area and jumped off the platform. "Look at you!" yelled Obi-Wan "You were the chosen one! It was said that you would destroy the Sith, not join them. Bring balance to the Force, not leave it in darkness. I loved you Anakin." "I HATE YOU!" cried Anakin. "Don't try it, I have the high ground!" "You underestimate my power!" Anakin didn't heed Obi-Wan's warning and leapt overtop of him. He landed right behind him and delivered a quick uppercut to Obi-Wan's jaw. Anakin swung his saber and cut off Obi-Wan's hand. Anakin grabbed Obi-Wan by the neck and lifted him off the ground. "How... does this... end?" asked Obi-Wan in a hoarse voice. "In flames!" told Anakin. And with that, Anakin tossed Obi-Wan down the hill and Obi-Wan rolled right into the lava. Anakin smiled as he picked up Obi-Wan's lightsaber as a token of his victory and laughed as he walked off. Anakin sensed that his master was nearby. He walked a little further to find him waiting for him in another landing pad. "Well done, my new apprentice." told Palpatine "There are none left to appose us." Palpatine reached into his cloak pocket and pulled out a lightsaber similar to Anakin's design "Here is your new weapon." he said as he handed it to Anakin. Anakin took it and without hesitation, used it to kill his master, for that was the way of the Sith. Palpatine was most impressed. The Stormtroopers accompanying Palpatine raised their rifles. "NO! The galaxy belongs to me!" Anakin declared. The troopers bowed their heads and accompanied Anakin onto the shuttle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Master Jimmy Posted December 22, 2006 Author Share Posted December 22, 2006 Please tell me, did this end to abrupt? If so, then help me by telling me how I can fix those problems. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anakin Skywalker Posted December 22, 2006 Share Posted December 22, 2006 hmmm..... i would have to say chapter one, would be better as the introduction, and then jump right in on Anakin's dealings with the Empire, and of course Anakin goes and saves Padme... and his two children, and trains Luke and Leia in the ways of the Dark Jedi. I tried something like this once, and got to chapter 45 before I started having writer's block... good luck with it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diego Varen Posted December 22, 2006 Share Posted December 22, 2006 hmmm..... i would have to say chapter one, would be better as the introduction, and then jump right in on Anakin's dealings with the Empire, and of course Anakin goes and saves Padme... and his two children, and trains Luke and Leia in the ways of the Dark Jedi. I tried something like this once, and got to chapter 45 before I started having writer's block... good luck with it Chapter 45? Farther than I've ever got. Good start MJ (Remembers Mary Jane), are you back for good? Looking foward to more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jason Skywalker Posted December 22, 2006 Share Posted December 22, 2006 Neat, liked this one alot, even if it is an exact copy of the movie, lol. Also, Anakin said "You will try...old friend" before backflipping on the start of the duel. But oh well, your choice MJ. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Master Jimmy Posted December 22, 2006 Author Share Posted December 22, 2006 Chapter 45? Farther than I've ever got. Good start MJ (Remembers Mary Jane), are you back for good? Looking foward to more. I hope I'm back for good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HK-42 Posted December 23, 2006 Share Posted December 23, 2006 Good Chapter MJ, the only minor mistake i saw is in the movie Anakin says I HATE YOU when he is gettimg burned. But good job. opps i forgot it ways AU never mind Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.