Jump to content

Home

"I personally believe Satan will use UFOs for tricking people during the End Times"

Dagobahn Eagle

By Dagobahn Eagle
in Yoda’s Swamp

Recommended Posts

Dagobahn Eagle Newbie

Dagobahn Eagle

Posted
Posted

This site is hysterical.

 

Fundies say the darndest things! is a project started by the late WinAce, who created the page linked to above. The project was later turned over to a poster ironically nick-named "Yahweh", who at automated it and allowed for rankings, searches and other nifty features. He also founded the child project Conspiracy theorists say the darndest things!" and is also planning a compilation of ridiculous racist statements. His site is here.

 

Tired of collecting stamps? Start collecting moronic assertions from religious fundamentalists! In these days of Creationism and prayer in public schools, the US ruled by fundamentalists, and religious terrorism striking "everywhere", let's try to have some fun on these wackos' behalf instead of going around gnashing our teeth at them:cool:.

 

Some true gems, either for their hilarity, ability to induce horror, or sheer idiocy:

Of course they were against freethought, that is a Judeo-Christian principle!
Score one for honesty:rofl:!

 

If the world was burnt to a crisp by a astroid greater than all the nukes in the world. Then the dinosaurs and everything died and nothing could have survived. And astroid this big would also leave a BIG hole somewhere on the earth...there is none. Furthmore, since there is no evidence that the dino-bones weren't burnt to the crisp, then i'd say evolution is in big trouble. Acid rain would have also contaminated the waters and atmosphere, thus, throwing off carbon dating... The big bang?? Eternal universe??? Think about it...
Good job squeezing so many errors into one single post.

 

No But LoTR glorifies the warlocks, the elves and faeries. Those are what the people of the glenns and highlands used to worship before they were brough to Messiah. Believe it or not, people STILL worship Faeries, elves and such. It's a very central part of Pagansim, Wicca and Druidism. The central theme that I find throughout LoTR is that Druidism and Wicca are OK.
Be on guard, Tolkien. Rowling could only hold them off for so long. The horde is coming for you once again:eek:!

 

Last night, I was reading to my two children out of their 'children's bible.' We got to the story of Abraham and Isaac and I read to them about Abraham being willing to sacrifice Isaac in obedience to God.

 

When we finished my son, who is 9, looked very distraught. He then asked me the most difficult question that I have ever heard in my life....'Would you do that to me if God asked you to?'

 

I sat for a moment and fran[t]ically thought of what was best to say. Needless to say, my pause was cause for alarm in his mind.

 

After a few agonizing moments, I responded with a very slow and distraught...'Yes. If God commanded me to, then I would have no choice but to be obedient; however, I hope that God would never demand such a thing from me.'

 

He looked shocked. And I felt that I had said the wrong thing. Of course, my wife immediately spoke up and said that she would not ever do anything to hurt him.

 

But I began to explain myself to him. I told him that he was saved, and that death on this earth brings life in heaven with Jesus. He understood perfectly and then said something amazing. He looked at his mother and said, 'I would rather die and go to heaven and God would be happy with you for obeying Him, than to know that when I died you could go to hell for not doing what you were told.

And to think this is probably one of the bigots who are terrified of homosexuals being allowed to raise children as he believes they're not capable of doing so:rolleyes:.

PS: The thread's title quote is from the December 2003 edition of WinAce's original compilation.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
jon_hill987 Newbie

jon_hill987

Posted
Posted

I got kicked off http://www.inthepursuitofgod.com, an IP ban and everything, for trying to point out that most of the bible isn't valid any more. I was not nasty, all of my points were backed up. they started to insult me, they called me stupid for not believing. I was told that when Jesus returned I would realise my mistake and bow before him, to which I replied that even if Jesus did exist I see no reason to worship him. I was told that I would have no choice. So your God has to force people to worship him does he? I said. That doesn't sound very divine.

 

They even deleted my posts, I think they can't accept the truth.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Spider AL Newbie

Spider AL

Posted
Posted

Jon's link inthepursuitofgod.com is almost as hilarious as the "fundies" archive. Particularly...

 

"God created you to exist beyond this temporal life. He created you for his pleasure, he created you for eternity with him."

 

... :eyeraise:

 

Apparently, I was created... for God's pleasure.

 

I am now starting to worry about what will happen after I die. :¬:

Link to comment
Share on other sites
BongoBob Newbie

BongoBob

Posted
Posted
Jon's link inthepursuitofgod.com is almost as hilarious as the "fundies" archive. Particularly...

 

"God created you to exist beyond this temporal life. He created you for his pleasure, he created you for eternity with him."

 

... :eyeraise:

 

Apparently, I was created... for God's pleasure.

 

I am now starting to worry about what will happen after I die. :¬:

 

Quick quick, someone photoshop a box of trojan her pleasure condoms >.> <.<

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Dagobahn Eagle Newbie

Dagobahn Eagle

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Yes, religious discussion is for the Senate Chambers. This thread is for quoting fundamentalists.

 

God created you to exist beyond this temporal life. He created you for his pleasure, he created you for eternity with him.
So he's bisexual after all. Figures. So many homophobes are:D.

 

[What to do if you have a homosexual friend] "Pray for them, whether they request it or not. Do not be self righteous to them. And whatever you do, NEVER leave small children alone with them."
Sometimes people are just so offensive that it's not effective at all, just incredibly funny:rofl:.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Mercid Newbie

Mercid

Posted
Posted

Ufo's? The end of the world? Satan?

Sounds like SOMEONE'S been reading "The Taking" by Dean Koontz.

 

I got kicked off http://www.inthepursuitofgod.com, an IP ban and everything, for trying to point out that most of the bible isn't valid any more. I was not nasty, all of my points were backed up. they started to insult me, they called me stupid for not believing. I was told that when Jesus returned I would realise my mistake and bow before him, to which I replied that even if Jesus did exist I see no reason to worship him. I was told that I would have no choice. So your God has to force people to worship him does he? I said. That doesn't sound very divine.

Amen to that. :xp:

Link to comment
Share on other sites
jon_hill987 Newbie

jon_hill987

Posted
Posted
What makes your version of truth any more valid than theirs?

 

Not to sound like an ass, but in all seriousness... I don't see the validity of that statement.

 

in a word: Evidence. But as ET said, this isn't the place for that argument so enough of that.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

More funnies!

 

http://www.unm.edu/~humanism/socvsjes.htm

 

some of the answers "Jesus" gives are strangely familiar...

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Spider AL Newbie

Spider AL

Posted
Posted

Heh, actually, it seems pretty a well written skit. I get the impression that the author may have had many conversations with irrational theists... it certainly follows the usual pattern that a conversation with a theist follows.

 

At least those conversations where they don't immediately consign you to hell and accuse you of being a satanist, that is...

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Acrylic Newbie

Acrylic

Posted
Posted

"[banning Islam] Sounds like a good idea to me......wish we could do it here."

- cktb2793, RaptureReady

 

Uhh.... o_0

 

 

"People need to stop worrying what Arabs think and start worrying about how to kill them before they kill us."

- Rev Prez, Internet Infidels

 

Uhh.... o_0

 

 

"we need to postpone the elections and move forward with the war on terrorism. next target: syria!"

- BarryG, FreeConservatives

 

Uhh.... o_0

 

 

and lastly...

"We need to focus on Jesus, meditate on Jesus, set out minds on Jesus whenever even the slightest desire to have a sexual fantasy arises."

- Sypher2k3, Christianity.com Forums

 

Uhh.... o_0

 

 

 

So all I can say is just "Uhh.... o_0" to all those quotes...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...