[Fic] The Sera Tana Saga Short Fanfiction

[Jason Skywalker]

Sweet. Also, well, maybe show one of the adventures of Sera Tana on her 10-year exile.

 

Also, you're not the worst RP'er on LF. N00bs are. Dang n00bs with their godmodding...

 

Anyways, there's a sugestion.

[Diego Varen]

Thanks for the suggestion Jason, although I was going to save them for the fifth part of the Sera Tana Saga (I might think of another adventure for her though) and thanks for the comments Saruman. I feel like the worst RP'er on LF, since I'm not very good at RPing and all of my RPs haven't been that great. I need to improve the Zor Krel one soon. Also, Jason, will you ever write the Knights of the Force Fics again?

[Jason Skywalker]

I'm going through a rather difficult period right now at school. Teachers think we're super kids. >_>

 

Anyways, whatever you do, i'm sure i'll like it.

[JediMaster12]

That last shortie was interesting. I see you followed the gameplay fairly close with some modifications in word usage. I don't know if this makes any difference but when I played my game, my Kreia had a blue lightsaber. I guess that goes to show how different one can see things. To be honest I have never really read a shortie piece that truly exemplified the tomb sequence on Korriban. Your attempt was very good in that you played with this theme of repetiveness and the messing with the mind. It is true that you can thoroughly confuse someone until they no longer know what is riht and what is wrong.

 

Personally I would have developed more on Sera's feelings and thoughts as she listens to her companions. It would ive the feeling of being under pressure to make a choice which is not to be made lightly. More description of the dark power of the tomb itself. I always got the feeling like when I get a mild case of claustrophobia when I am blindfolded. I can't breathe and my mind doesn't want to think clearly. Those feelings I think would emphasize the corrupting influence on someone fighting its effects. Other than that, it was a good piece there.

[Diego Varen]

When I edit them all, before posting the final Thread, I'll make sure I edit them with more detail, etc. Thanks for the comments JM12.

[JediMaster12]

No problem Pottsie. I take critiquing ver seriously unlike some who must be threatened with a flying manuscript in order to get anything constructive

 

*looks at Pottsie*

 

Anyway, I find shorties to be fun because you can put all the energy into one shots and fill in the blanks that may have been left behind by a larger story. I found many opportunities in Heart of Deception and some in HotG. I look forward to your next shortie.

[CSI]

I'm here to show my usual support to Pottsie. Good job as usual. And I have absolute nothing to comment on. Keep up.

[Diego Varen]

Well I have the next two Shorties planned out and they are two parter Shorties. The first I'm planning is one with Sera and Mical, about their past together and how they tell each other their feelings for each other. The second lot, I'm not sure about. The last Fic won't be shown until I've released the other nine, which will lead directly into the Leaving for the Unknown Regions Part. Once I finish the Sera Tana Saga, I might plan a second series of Shorties, I'm not sure.

[JediMaster12]

If it is going to be an Exile loves Mical shortie I am just going to have to hurt you by having Kujo come out and he'll bring some friends from my neighbors. Or maybe I should shoot you with a rubber band

I loathe those kinds because Mical is too goodie goodie and it makes me sick. Pottsie how could you? I must warn you that if it is an ExilexMical fic, I will double up on the critique and do bashing if I am in the mood. Well by then you would have killed it

[Diego Varen]

Well, unlike some members on this Forum, I believe Mical's character needs exploring. Feel free to shoot me with a rubber band if you wish JM12. Oh and the other two parter Fic will be about Sera's first mission with her master. The one between the two parters has to be as important as the final Shortie in the series. Perhaps a vision of Sera's future, but this might cause spoilers for the main Fics...

 

Edit: Oh JM12, I've never really been keen as to having Sera with Mical. I'd rather keep them friends, so Sera could spend time with Atton.

[Aurora Starfire]

Hey!! What's wrong with an Exile/Mical relationship?!? Personally, if anyone said to me some of the things Atton says to the Exile, I'd be very irritated. (No offense to anyone who likes Atton, he's just not my personal idea of someone to fall in love with)

But anyway, I agree with you, Pottsie. Mical one of the most-ignored characters. There aren't enough fics talking about him. Even if it's just a friendly relationship between them, I'll be looking forward to seeing it. Haven't seen anything that needs editing, so far, in any of these shorties, but I like them

[Diego Varen]

Thanks Aurora.

[Diego Varen]

It's been a while, but I've got some of the next Shortie done. I will complete the rest soon, edit this post and let you all know. Oh and Steven Solidus was an RP character who starred in my last RP, Tana. He was made by steven.

 

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...

 

Star Wars

Forgotten Promises Part I

 

One JEDI was left without a master. One JEDI was forced to leave the JEDI ORDER, because of disobeying the JEDI MASTERS. MICAL was the apprentice. SERA TANA was the master. Both of them reunited, ten years later.

 

Ten years before they reunited, Sera observes a duel that Mical is taking part with. He is taking part with his rival, STEVEN SOLIDUS, who is also dying to be trained by Sera. The second JEDI GRAND MASTER, MASTER XARG is also observing the duel and as a JEDI KNIGHT, Sera must make a decision of who to train.

 

*****

 

It was a beautiful day in the Jedi Temple. Sera Tana had been meditating in the tranquil gardens, listening to the Midi-chlorians receiving messages from the Force. Sera had always liked meditating in the gardens, since it was the one place she could relax fully, without the watchful eye of the Jedi Masters. She had always felt peace there. Sera sensed the Jedi Grand Master, Xarg, behind her. Sera opened her eyes and stood up to see the small master.

 

“Jedi Tana,” He began, his body hooked over his small wooden walking stick, “Choose padawan learner, you must.”

 

Sera knew that as a Jedi Knight, she would have to begin training an apprentice some time. She hadn’t had much experience training others. The only time she had was when she had to take a class of padawans for Xarg, since he had other matters to attend to.

 

“Padawans Mical and Steven,” Xarg continued, “Choose to be your first apprentice, you will.”

 

“Must I choose?” Sera asked, trying not to be rude, since she wasn’t sure if she was ready.

 

Sera didn’t feel ready to train someone yet. She felt too young and not wise enough to train someone. What if she failed? She had heard rumours of some masters being exiled from the Order, because of having many failed apprentices. Sera didn’t want that to happen to her.

 

“Choose, you don’t have to,” Xarg told Sera, “Strongly recommend against it, I do. Come, let’s observe them, we must. First, talk to the Jedi Masters, I must.”

 

Xarg led Sera through the crowded corridors of the Jedi Temple. Soon, both of them arrived outside the Council meeting room. Xarg turned to Sera, before entering.

 

“Discuss matters with the masters, I must. Return to your quarters, you shall.”

 

*****

 

Mical stood, his practice Lightsaber blade hissing through the air. He was preparing for his upcoming duel with his rival, Steven Solidus. The two of them had been rivals all their life and Steven had always been trying to beat Mical at everything. Mical knew that today would prove, which of them would go on to become a great Jedi. Mical hoped that he would be that great Jedi.

 

“Hey Mical,” Steven whispered in Mical’s ear, “Don’t even think of beating me. I’m the best.”

 

Mical smiled, not letting his confidence drop. Despite his rivalry with Steven, Mical had always been afraid of what Steven would do.

 

“Your overconfidence will be your downfall,” Mical warned, not letting his emotions take him over.

 

Steven ignored Mical and walked off, checking to make sure his Lightsaber moves were perfect. Mical knew that he wasn’t good with a Lightsaber. His strengths were with the Force. The Force guided him and it always had. Not only that, but he was also skilled with healing people. Whenever someone got injured, they came to Mical. Even the wisest of the Jedi Masters came to Mical, when they were injured on a mission. Mical’s talent had made some jealous and Steven was one of those people who was jealous. In a way, Mical wished he wasn’t good at what he did, since he didn’t have many friends, but he knew that it would save lives. So what would Mical do? Heal someone when they were injured or loose his talent and become like the other Padawans? Mical decided not to think about it and returned to practice for the duel.

 

*****

 

Sera and Xarg entered the training room. Many Padawan Learners were waiting to see Mical and Steven’s duel and they were all excited. Steven was excited. Mical wasn’t. He wanted to prove that he was a great Jedi, some other way. He didn’t like fighting, but he knew that all Jedi had to be able to protect themselves.

 

“Time, it is,” Xarg began, “For Padawan Mical and Padawan Steven to begin their duel.”

 

Mical and Steven took their places on the small stage. Here, they would have a duel, to see who Sera would take as her first apprentice. Mical had seen her before. From the first moment she had taken one of his classes, Mical had idolised her and he even thought he loved her. Jedi weren’t supposed to love, or at least, that was what Mical had been taught. Steven ignited his Lightsaber, a blue blade humming to life. Mical also ignited his Lightsaber, another blue blade that hummed to life, accompanying the sound of Steven’s Lightsaber. Mical knew that the Lightsabers weren’t made to kill. These practice Lightsabers would only sting the opponent, causing a burn, but nothing too serious.

 

“Begin your duel, you may,” Xarg told the two Padawans, as he stepped off the stage.

 

Steven made the first move, running towards Mical, ready to strike. Mical ducked Steven’s first attack and he let the Force guide him. Mical attacked with several strikes of his own, dodging Steven’s at the same time. At one point, Steven managed to use a powerful Force push to force Mical off the stage. Mical had wondered how Steven had managed to have such a powerful push. Xarg scolded Steven, warning him that the duel was of close combat and not of usage of using Force powers. Mical got up and once again, Steven knocked him down again. Mical was losing badly and he really wanted to beat Steven up. That was wrong wasn’t it? Wanting to beat someone up for revenge. Mical was being beaten again and again, because he had let his guard down. That’s it. He would get revenge. At least it wouldn’t make it look like Mical was weak. Dodging another attack from Steven, Mical immediately let himself use his Lightsaber to keep hitting Steven in the back. Ignoring his cries, Mical kept hitting him, getting his revenge on him. Steven had been horrible in the past to Mical and others and this was his moment to strike back.

 

“Stop, you must!” Xarg shouted, using the Force to take Mical’s Lightsaber from him, before looking at Steven, “Go to your quarters, you shall. You and the others.”

 

As everyone left, Mical began to feel guilty for what he had done. He would never behave like that. Nobody else believed that he could behave like that. Everyone believed that Mical was the perfect student with no flaws. Now they knew that he wasn’t.

 

The End

[JediMaster12]

Critique time!

 

*clears throat*

 

This piece is a nice pre-KOTOR shortie in attempt to define characters before we meet them in TSL. The first part with Sera was a little obscure for me. I took it to assume that Master Xarg was like Master Yoda with the incorrect grammar and such. The introduction of the gardens being a place of tranquility was good though I would have elaborated more as to why she chose that place. You did this nicely with Mical near the end where it explained the jealousy of Steven due to Mical's healing abilities. I would have also put in a little more reflextion of self doubt on Sera's part. She's nervous about training a padawan and there must be that old feeling of the waht ifs like "what if I screw up" and the like. It would fill in the moment more.

 

Mical's intro was very nice. In a way it reminded me of the apprentice series involving a young Obi-Wan Kenobi with the rivalry. You kind of of show a macho approach to it that is typical of little boys trying to be men. With Mical's character, you worked well with the personality he exhibits in TSL and made him into a believeable padawan to be.

 

Though incomplete, you have a good start so far. Keep it up.

[Diego Varen]

Thanks JM12. Well I posted what I had wrote since I wanted to post it, before I went offline. It also gives me more of a chance to edit it, when I post the other half.

[Jason Skywalker]

Well, i agree with JM and also, you should try to vary a little in the words. For example:

 

“Strongly recommend against it, I do. Come, let’s observe them, we must. First, talk to the Jedi Masters, we should.”

 

See?

 

Although, all in all, it was a good shortie.

[Daft Adidas]

cool!

 

I can't read this fic which is ashame. I'm busy on LF and outside but i'll try catch up and Jabner i know this is a bit late but try not to post one word.

[Diego Varen]

I'm trying to vary words Jason. Like I said, the Shortie is complete yet and the rest of the first part will be posted.

[Diego Varen]

This first Poem isn't about love, but it is about Sera and Atton's relationship, after finding out he was an assassin. I'm no good at poems, but see what you think and this is the first time I've ever posted a poem on LF. Oh and I accidently posted this in my other Thread. I was losing my concentration last night.

 

Revelations

 

On Dantooine, as I looked in the river,

Thinking about what you said,

Your words made my soul shiver.

Were you really an assassin?

Were you already dead?

You made me doubt you.

 

Revelations are hard things to take in,

For it is a sin,

When you’ve been told a shocking.

 

We met on Peragus and you thought I was a miner,

And you expected a date with your newest diner,

But I was hard to get.

Over time, many joined us,

You caused a fuss,

But you never told me anything much.

 

Revelations are hard things to take in,

For it is a sin,

When you’ve been told a shocking.

 

Kreia always hated you and I can see why,

For only fools fly,

But you weren’t no fool,

You played it cool.

I knew that I couldn’t do that.

 

Revelations are hard things to take in,

For it is a sin,

When you’ve been told something shocking.

 

After this,

I’m not sure if I can trust or love you,

But without you, we wouldn’t get anywhere.

As I stop and stare,

I wonder if I can ever trust you again.

[JediMaster12]

Very nice Topsite. I am tempted to keep calling you Pottsie

 

Anyway it is my personal belief that poetry is a reflection of the person's soul and thoughts as they see their reality. Poetry appeals to me mainly because you can express things that are difficult to say straight out in a fic. The other part is that I am a romantic illusionist at times and dream my Mr. Right would say something sweet to me.

 

Revelations are hard things to take in,

For it is a sin,

When you’ve been told a shocking.

This was good. When I read it, I played with the words a bit and came up with this:

'Revelations, so hard to take in

A shock it has been

For what is done is a sin'

 

To me that sounds better as it reflects better the shock and confusion over what the Exile felt. My advice is to imagine yourself as that character who is to speak through poem. Ask yourself: What are my thoughts? Believe me it works. How else do you think I wrote that Lover's Poem in BOTWW? It was mostly what I wanted to hear but I tried to think of a romantic guy saying that. The nice thing is that you can play with grammar a bit within the confines of the English language. Keep it up. Write a poem every day about anything. It is good practice.

[Diego Varen]

Thanks for the advice JM12.

[Diego Varen]

After my disappointing last Chapter, I've decided to finish of the Short Fan Fiction first, before I begin the main Fics. This is a poem in Atton's POV and it is a reply to Revelations. Thanks very much JediMaster12 for the rewrite.

 

Apologies

 

I’m sorry if I caused you pain,

I’m sorry if I’m vain,

But that was years ago and I’ve changed.

My life has made me think of what I am today,

I don’t know what to say.

 

There is only one thing I can say at the moment,

And that is that I’m sorry for everything I’ve done.

I regret it all,

But I can’t turn back the clock,

And make the past different.

 

When I first saw you, you were beautiful to me,

My eyes opened up to see,

I started to hear,

And I no longer felt fear.

I’ve now forgotten my past,

And begun living in the future.

 

There is only one thing I can say at the moment,

And that is that I’m sorry for everything I’ve done.

I regret it all,

But I can’t turn back the clock,

And make the past different.

 

Now, you plan to leave for the unknown,

The Ebon Hawk has flown,

Leaving me on my own.

Will you come back?

I hope you do return,

Don’t dry up and burn,

Because you’ll make your scoundrel upset.

 

Rewrite by JediMaster12

 

I'm sorry if I caused you pain

And I hope it wasn't in vain

It happened years ago, I've changed

I have thought of what I am today

There I things I don't know what to say

 

There is one thing that I should have done

To say I'm sorry for what I've done

I regret it all and it's a shadow

I can't turn back the clock on that

I can't change what I've done as Jaq

 

Then I saw you, so beautiful to me

You opened my eyes and made me see

It was the Force I started to hear

Now I no longer have fear

I have buried the past within my soul

To live in the future, that is my goal

 

There is one thing that I should have done

To say I'm sorry for what I've done

I regret it all and it's a shadow

I can't turn back the clock on that

I can't change what I've done as Jaq

 

Now you leave for places unknown

Leaving me to live on my own

Will you return? This I can't say

For you I will wait for that day

I hope that you return, alive and well

And bring a peace to this here scoundrel

[JediMaster12]

Nice job Topsite. You gave the point clearly that you meant for Atton to apologize. However, being a poet on ocassion, I played with the words a bit. This is what I thought of and thought it showed his feelings better. The idea was yours, I just played around with it trying to make it flow better.

 

I'm sorry if I caused you pain

And I hope it wasn't in vain

It happened years ago, I've changed

I have thought of what I am today

There I things I don't know what to say

 

There is one thing that I should have done

To say I'm sorry for what I've done

I regret it all and it's a shadow

I can't turn back the clock on that

I can't change what I've done as Jaq

 

Then I saw you, so beautiful to me

You opened my eyes and made me see

It was the Force I started to hear

Now I no longer have fear

I have buried the past within my soul

To live in the future, that is my goal

 

There is one thing that I should have done

To say I'm sorry for what I've done

I regret it all and it's a shadow

I can't turn back the clock on that

I can't change what I've done as Jaq

 

Now you leave for places unknown

Leaving me to live on my own

Will you return? This I can't say

For you I will wait for that day

I hope that you return, alive and well

And bring a peace to this here scoundrel

 

This was a playing with your words. You did do a good job but I was thinking more in terms of flowing together. Good job Topsite.

[Diego Varen]

Thanks JM12. That rewrite was much better, could I use that? I'll still give credit, like I always do.

[JediMaster12]

If you think you like it better than go ahead. The idea was yours in the first place. I'm just glad to help with any advice.