Dagobahn Eagle Posted May 4, 2007 Share Posted May 4, 2007 IMHO, i don't think that its a healthy habit. they are hurting themselves, and in particular, one girl ended up having to see a doctor after a hole that she "pinned" through her arm ended up getting very badly infected.Been there, done that. I once counted over fifty cuts on my arms. Believe me, it's an incredibly addictive and traumatizing habit. I remember sitting in a psychiatrist's waiting room two years later reading a story about a girl cutting herself, and it took me litterally fourty-five minutes to stop shaking. It. Is. Not. Fun. my problem is that i don't really know what to do. they are my friends, but although i've pointed out that its probably not a good idea to do it, i haven't really told them that they need to stop because it can be a sensitive issue for some. i know that some of them do go through some tough situations either at home or with other relationships, but i don't see where that's really justification for hurting themselves physically.Listen. If your friend was coming down with pneumonia, you'd tell her to seek a doctor. If she refused, you'd get the doctor to her. Plain and simple, right? Same with cutting. She needs help before she does serious damage to herself. Go to your school's social worker and alert him or her to the problem, and he or she will talk to your buddy and carry out whatever is deemed necessary. Sometimes, the best thing to do is dish out some tough love. One girl who's come to me repeatedly finally dealt with her problems after I told her to, and I quote, "Get the hell over yourself and grow up". It did a world of good for her. Might not help so much with your situation, though.Not advisable at all. Cutting is a symptom of serious problems, and serious problems are not solved by yelling. Be a good friend. Let them come to you, talk to you, and just vent. Sometimes that's all they need. But if, after a few months, things aren't starting to look better, then send them off to seek professional help.I'm sorry, but that's just not right. If your friend cuts himself or herself, it should be a very serious red flag to you. You should immediately alert a doctor, psychiatrist, school nurse, social worker, or other professional so that the person can get help. Self-injury is a very serious problem. i screamed at her. Number one her life is not horable. number 2 DONT be suprised if you get grounded for punching your parents. These dumb little "problems" they think they have are no reason to go hack their arms off. They just need to get over it and live like normal people.While I understand you didn't know better as schools skip trivial things like this for important things such as who was the president in the US in the early eighties [/sarcasm], you have to realize that if a person is cutting himself or herself, he or she is definitely not feeling good. This whole 'yell at them' or 'kick their ass' nonsense is what happens when prejudice and ignorance takes over for real knowledge, and is not helpful at all. Look, I've been there. I know how it can feel like to have a friend suffer and not know what to do. A friend of mine tried to kill herself and came back to school with her wrist bandaged - I had no idea how to approach her or on how to help her. Another friend of mine was in a serious accident and lost her mom - again I just let her be by herself for a long time instead of being there for her, simply because I did not know better and was afraid I'd make things worse for her if I said something wrong. Today I know that while you will occasionally say something stupid, it's far better to be there and occasionally be hopeless than to not be there at all. Be there for your buddies. That's what it's all about. That's bad. I've heard of self-piercing during depression but have never figured out why they do it? Aggravating pain makes it lighter? Atleast not in my case.There are various reasons. Self-punishment; physical pain being a way to vent mental pain; a step to make it easier to kill yourself... I don't know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jae Onasi Posted May 4, 2007 Share Posted May 4, 2007 General note for anyone.... If cutting is related to the person being abused by an adult at home (or if you're the one who's being abused), and you're not sure what else to do, you can also make an anonymous call to the child abuse hot line (in the US it's 1-800-4-a-child). The counselor can give you appropriate information on what you can do. For those in college, contacting the college counselor (even if you do it by anonymous email/note/phone call) can help get that person into the help they need. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Doctor Posted May 4, 2007 Share Posted May 4, 2007 Not advisable at all. Cutting is a symptom of serious problems, and serious problems are not solved by yelling. Which is why I said after that sentence that it most likely wasn't for everyone (with heavy sarcasm on the 'everyone'). The girl I was speaking of didn't have any serious problems - she just needed to get over herself and grow up. She was one of the ones who only cut for the attention it gets them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arátoeldar Posted May 5, 2007 Share Posted May 5, 2007 Tell your female friends ~snipped~ Most people today don't what real hardships are. Even the "poor" live like kings compared to the real poor in other parts of the world. So far as stress is concerned, try living through the Great Depression or before modern medicine or during most of WWII or in the western parts of the U.S. before it was settled. Some things don't need to be spelled out in detail. Thanks, Jae Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Negative Sun Posted May 5, 2007 Share Posted May 5, 2007 Tell your female friends ~snipped~. Most people today don't what real hardships are. Even the "poor" live like kings compared to the real poor in other parts of the world. So far as stress is concerned, try living through the Great Depression or before modern medicine or during most of WWII or in the western parts of the U.S. before it was settled. I'm sure you would be found guilty of complaining about some of today's "hardships" as well, it's all relative and no matter what the cause is it should be dealt with appropriately... I'm sure that Scots who were in the battle of Falkirk would laugh at the "luxury" Scots had while fighting WW2, it's all relative, but it doesn't make it less important or meaningful... Fine, some people need to grow up and snap out of it, and they will, teenage angst and suicide or even cutting has been around for ages, and it's not gonna stop soon...The world we live in today is comfortable yes, but it's also very confusing and scary to most because it's not as defined as it once was, which is good in a way, bad in another way... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jae Onasi Posted May 5, 2007 Share Posted May 5, 2007 Moving to Kavar's Corner, since it's developing into a discussion of self-injury, which is a little more serious than most Ahto topics. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doomie Posted May 6, 2007 Share Posted May 6, 2007 Most people today don't what real hardships are. Even the "poor" live like kings compared to the real poor in other parts of the world. So far as stress is concerned, try living through the Great Depression or before modern medicine or during most of WWII or in the western parts of the U.S. before it was settled. Just because I have it better than most people in the world, I forfeit all my rights to be sad? Just because I have shelter, and enough food to survive, doesn't mean bad things can't happen to me. ~snipped quote~ Cutting yourself =/= stupidity. It is not genetic. There is no way you can 'pollute' the gene pool with some sort of 'depression gene'. And even if it were possible, we don't tell other people with 'less desirable' genes (Mentally challenged people, or people suffering from genetic diseases) to kill themselves, do we? Also, depression, or any other state of mind that would make someone cut him/herself, can (usually) be cured, and the person can become a functioning member of society. Saying people who cut themselves are stupid is ignorant, and saying that they should die is, well... I have no word for it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Negative Sun Posted May 6, 2007 Share Posted May 6, 2007 No offence Arátoeldar, but you don't know what you're talking about, what you're saying makes you sound narrow-minded as **** I wonder if you would still spout that kind of wisdom were it a member of your family that was doing that or that was depressed to that point... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stingerhs Posted May 7, 2007 Author Share Posted May 7, 2007 well, this thread is certainly moving beyond its original intentions. anyways, i got together with a couple of other folks that i work with up at my church, and we got two of those girls that i mentioned into some professionals (for the record, they are more than just ministers or the like. they are psychologists with actual degrees). anyways, i'm hoping this turns out for the best. and keep the one girl in your prayers (assuming that you're the praying type) since she has a situation at her family that had to be taken care of as well. lesson learned in all of this: get proactive. you're not really being a friend to anyone if you know about something, and then you don't do anything about it. and please be smart about it. none of this "yelling" and "telling them how to do it" nonsense. believe me, that's the last thing that they'll want or need to hear. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jae Onasi Posted May 7, 2007 Share Posted May 7, 2007 Cool that you were able to help them, and I'll put the one gal and her family on my prayer list. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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