The Doctor Posted February 4, 2009 Share Posted February 4, 2009 So there I was, sitting in the dark for no reason, where I got to thinking: Patrick Stewart really is the awesomest man to ever live. Know how I know? Because **** you. Him > You. I'm hoping to get into Oxford, just so I can take the course he teaches there. I'm not even sure what it is, but I bet it's something awesome, like "How to Be Really Awesome 1001". Not 101. 1001. He's just that awesome. You know what's really great about him? His voice. I could listen to that man talk about absolutely anything for the rest of my life. Tone, timbre, rhythm, inflections, the whole bit. If his voice were a drink flavour, it would be Kickass Orange Peach Mango Banana Lesbian Sex, and it would come in bottles shaped like him, and would cause orgasms in people above the age of 13. In Patrick Stewart years - that means **** you. Everyone would have orgasms. Patrick Stewart created everything. Even all the ****ty stuff, like country music, goths, telemarketers, child actors, football, ducks, electric guitars, department stores, armpit hair, bath salts, bees, fast food, Dodo birds (good riddance), Facists, the Sun, potheads, baby carrots, Mountain Dew, birds, midgets, and tawts who wear socks with sandals. Here's how it went down: Patrick Stewart got bored one day, and decided to create Life. So he let his hair fall out, so that it could become the Swedes - though it also had the effect of making him even more awesome. The Swedes then tricked God, Patrick Stewart's little brother, into creating everything. Patrick Stewart, not knowing that God's Universe wasn't strong enough to take his awesomeness, accidentally destroyed it by blinking too hard. He then smacked God across the head and grudgingly recreated everything, this time better. A list of some of the things Patrick Stewart created: - Facepalming - Engaging - Making it so - Beef Jerkey - Sex - Doctor Who - The Wheel - Evolution. No wait, that was Satan. - Internet And that's just a few. Yeah. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alkonium Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 Wait, why would you say Evolution was created by Satan? If you really were the Doctor, wouldn't you be an Atheist? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chevron 7 locke Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 The Doctor has the right idea! Bald patrick stewart is awsome... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Doctor Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 It's an inside joke, Al, between myself and a few other friends who've seen the rant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taak Farst Posted February 21, 2009 Share Posted February 21, 2009 Wow he is awesome but you ... wow you love him more than u wud probably ever luv anyone!!!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Giant Graffiti Posted March 25, 2010 Author Share Posted March 25, 2010 "- Facepalming" Actually, Jonathan Frakes invented this a full episode before Stewart. (Stewart perfected it, though.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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