Havoc Stryphe Posted January 3, 2002 Share Posted January 3, 2002 okay, here it goes... girls (especially in High School) don't know what they want until they've experienced what they don't want first. They want what those romance novels portray as "love". The perfect relationship (you know, the washboard abs, beds of roses, the man who gives his right kidney so she can have the house of her dreams blah,blah,blah...), but they also look to social status in men. They will only date a guy who will make a "good" rep for them. It's true, women are very into social status and looks in high school, much more so than guys. The Only romance they know is "fairy tale" romance from books and movies. So that's what they will look for, and unfortunately for them it's those men who fit those descriptions that are equally just as lost, when it come to relationships. They will love, then get hurt, and come to you her "friend" for comfort. They will learn later, through the failed relationships they've had with jerks that are the male equivalincy of themselves (that being vain, and seeking social status) that love isn't necesarrily "less" than what's portrayed in movies, but different. Love comes from within a person, not from the outside or from the acceptance of the people around them. They will learn that the quiet, intelligent guys who they looked over in high school and the first half of college, actually have the most to share and give. And through that sharing they will see that what at first looked plain is indeed the most beautiful man she's laid eyes on. She will learn that it's the imperfecions that makes her love him, it's the fact that though not a movie star, pro sports player or war hero, you work all the harder to give her what she wants and desires. Girls need to live a while longer, make the mistakes you now see them making to get to the point where they finally realize what love is... It's the journey they must make. It is our lot in life to stand by their sides as "friends" giving counsel and a shoulder as they get hurt time and time again by those jerks who don't know what they are doing either. But listen very closely, in the end she will remember who it was that stood next to her, giving her a shoulder to cry on, a nonjudgemental ear for her to talk to, and a smile to comfort her in those times, it is then she will realize who you really are, and then she will be ready, for it is then she will realize what love is. If you rush it, it is you that may be chalked up to a "learning experience". She will come to her senses. She's a woman... that's what they do... learn things the long and hard way. Just be there, she will see you, and she will remember. When She finally realizes what Love is, she will remember "who" that love is... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heavyarms Posted January 3, 2002 Author Share Posted January 3, 2002 you are very much correct. Some girls need to get out of their wierd fantasies. Some just keep acting like they are everything, but really are not everything. More, they are closer to nothing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Havoc Stryphe Posted January 3, 2002 Share Posted January 3, 2002 I know I'm right, I was there once. The guy that's the best friend watching the girl he loves making the mistakes of her life time and time again, while all I could do was listen to her cry after each time... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heavyarms Posted January 3, 2002 Author Share Posted January 3, 2002 I know this one (the one I am having a problem with) that just keeps on going, as if I don't exist, as if I am just a vision. I wish she would wake up and smell the coffee. She hasn't acknowledged me for so long, and if she said she understood, at least, I would stop thinking of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Artoo Posted January 3, 2002 Share Posted January 3, 2002 All good insights. Very good but I have to add my 2 cents worth also. This is what has happened to me and has gotten girls to talk and interact with me. I'm just like you guys sharing the interest of star wars. That has not gotten me very far in school. Neither did making good grades or reading big books. What did get girls to actually talk to me, was to find a new environment inside school where no one knows you and make a new impression. I joined the school band. Here I was with other people who liked to be in the band. Immediate bonus of sharing the same interests. Then you get yourself noticed, I became second chair trombone in a section of 8 beating out several people for my chair. Then when people actually talk to you about the thing you are in, talk back friendly and such. I was lucky to get in the trombone section b/c they are the most energetic, outgoing section. It just worked perfectly and now every girl in the band will talk to me. This is just what has worked for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heavyarms Posted January 3, 2002 Author Share Posted January 3, 2002 Sorry, I hate the band Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Artoo Posted January 3, 2002 Share Posted January 3, 2002 See that's just an example find something else. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prince_Xizor Posted January 3, 2002 Share Posted January 3, 2002 Hehehehe....Maybe...just maybe I will have a real girlfriend after college...because the older they get they relize they like the smart guys with good jobs and big money to support them and the family Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rogue Nine Posted January 4, 2002 Share Posted January 4, 2002 Wise words, Havoc. I shall be pulling for you from now on. My own story is a bit different from the one you tell, but similar enough to relate. (I've changed names so as to protect identies and egos) You see, I was one of those quiet, intelligent types. The one that always had his eye on one of the beautiful girls that I couldn't possibly hope to go out with. This was late sophomore year, maybe. I had a long time friend in Virginia whom I always confided in because I knew her to be smart and funny, but also incredibly caring and sympathetic. Let's call her Mara. As I grew, I began to notice her in a different way. For someone so smart and intellectual, yet athletic as well (She got a 1580 on her SATs, she loves SW and LotR and is a star track runner and football wideout), she grew to be a stunningly beautiful woman. I thought she was going to go out with one of those stupid jock types who would misuse her. She surprised me by staying aloof and not going out with them, instead keeping her own little company of friends, a group which I found myself belonging to. As I grew out of my sophomore "don't come near me" stage in school, I gained my own group of friends, outsiders like myself. One of these was a girl named Anne. Early junior year, I finally mustered enough courage to ask Mara out. To my complete and utter surprise, she accepted. Even though she was in Virginia and I was in New York, we were as close as two people can be. We honestly and truly loved each other. We spoke nearly everyday and I would always visit during vacations. It was perfect. Then, in June of last year, I received a letter from her saying that we should spend some time apart. Then she disappeared. I had no idea where she was and I was worried sick and heartbroken. Time to digress about Anne. Anne befriended me my junior year. I had seen her before, since she was a year behind me. I remembered her at first as a freshman who always blocked the hall in front of me my sophomore year. But I found her to be a remarkable person, intelligent, funny and caring. She was always spending time with me whenever she could, always hanging around me. I didn't mind the attention at all. But she had a boyfriend and I had Mara, so getting close was out of the question. We were simply very good friends, our friendship a sacred bond between us. Then came that fateful day in June when I got that letter. I was distraught the next day at school and I did not want to deal with anyone. Anne sensed this immediately and came to me right away, inquiring what was wrong. I showed her the letter and she read it. Then she gave me a big hug. She shadowed me throughout that day, cutting classes just to be with me so I had a shoulder to lean on. I was still rather sad, but I couldn't help noticing all the attention I was receiving from her. I knew she had broken up with her boyfriend not a few months before, so she was a bit sad too, but I didn't want to jump to conclusions. At the end of the day, I had cheered up quite a bit thanks to her company. I stayed after school with her and a bunch of my friends. I became distraught again and I sat quietly by myself apart from the others. Anne came over and sat next to me, not saying anything, just keeping me company in my brooding and loss. I spoke to her, telling her of my feelings and she listened and offered encouragement. Then my late bus came and I had to leave. She wrapped me up in a huge hug and held me tight, like she didn't want to let go. I returned it, then found myself not wanting to let go either. Later that week, I was surfing around the web for a research project and I happened to come across an online diary site. A number of my friends post at that site, one of whice being Anne. I figured it wasn't exactly an invasion of her privacy since she put it on the Internet for viewing, so I read her diary. I was totally taken aback by what I read. Turns out she had loved me from the start of my junior year. That's why she was always with me. Why she took time out of her day just to be with me. She had always kept her distance because she knew I had Mara. Now I was confused. I re-examined my feelings for Anne and found that I liked her a lot as well. I waited a while, then on the day before the History final, I told her that I knew she liked me. She looked at me, totally shocked and speechless. She was incredibly afraid that I would say no. I then reassured her that I did indeed like her very much. She was still speechless, but I had figured she would be. As we went outside to leave school, I pulled her over just as I was about to depart and placed a kiss on her sweet lips. She her green eyes went wide with surprise, but she returned it with equal yearning. The rest, my friends, is history. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SithMaster2003 Posted January 4, 2002 Share Posted January 4, 2002 inspiring stories from all of you, hopefully i can end up as lucky as Rogue. some days i just feel too desperate. anyways.... any of you guys got pointers for a computer geek that is in need of female companionship??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xwing guy Posted January 4, 2002 Share Posted January 4, 2002 Be patient, and wait for the gal you want, she'll realize in time that it's the quiet intellgent guy that she'll want like some other people have already said. But in the mean time watch other people in their releationships, it can be quiet entertaining sometimes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Artoo Posted January 4, 2002 Share Posted January 4, 2002 See one of my above posts. Rogue 9, that is one of the best girlfriend stories I have ever heard. I just about broke down b/c I was listening to Yesterday by the Beatles. I wish something like that could happen to me. Oh well my life officially starts back up w/ school 4 days from now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Artoo Posted January 4, 2002 Share Posted January 4, 2002 bump, cause of the really nice story that needs to be read. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Artoo Posted January 4, 2002 Share Posted January 4, 2002 bump, cause of the really nice story that needs to be read. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heavyarms Posted January 4, 2002 Author Share Posted January 4, 2002 nicer ending than mine Come back in 10 years, I may possibly find someone to talk to you about. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heavyarms Posted January 4, 2002 Author Share Posted January 4, 2002 nicer ending than mine Come back in 10 years, I may possibly find someone to talk to you about. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Natopo Posted January 4, 2002 Share Posted January 4, 2002 You guys are right. I know that being a big fan of SW doesn't get you real high. The way I got a bunch of friends that were girls was I stood out and made an impression. I did right when everyone else did wrong. That made me stand out. That's how I got 2 friends (girls). Now I have 4 because I met their friends and I guess you could say i was a popular person. It seems the girls that are just losers don't look for guys like me. they look for losers. that's my 2 cents. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Natopo Posted January 4, 2002 Share Posted January 4, 2002 You guys are right. I know that being a big fan of SW doesn't get you real high. The way I got a bunch of friends that were girls was I stood out and made an impression. I did right when everyone else did wrong. That made me stand out. That's how I got 2 friends (girls). Now I have 4 because I met their friends and I guess you could say i was a popular person. It seems the girls that are just losers don't look for guys like me. they look for losers. that's my 2 cents. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Havoc Stryphe Posted January 4, 2002 Share Posted January 4, 2002 Thank You Rogue 9, but I'm married now and not waiting for that girl anymore. Hopefully, you'll never have to "pull" for me again, but thank you anyways. Want to know something though... The girl I married.... not the one I alluded to in my posts. You see I met that girl in college, she was older than me by two years, she was beautiful and extremely outgoing. I was but a mere freshman who, though not quiet, was still very different. I was kind, thoughtful and from a small town. She was a Washington D.C. girl, who never met a guy like me before. Well, she was only used to being treated like crap, so she continued right on through in college dating jerks. I was her "friend", she would come to me with her problems, and ask me what she should do. She would say, "I really like him, but he hurt me, what do I do?" and I would always ask, do you really like him?" and her reply was always yes. I would tell her to give him another chance, and she would and she would thank me the next day and tell me how wonderful he was. But inside I was screaming, I wanted it to be me, not him. What was I doing? I could sabatoge the guy(s), but that's not what I wanted either, I wanted her to be happy, so I just went on that way for 2 years. then on one of our nightly walks where we would talk about our days, and her relationships, it just kinda happened...we kissed. And well, that was that. We fell madly in love and dated for 3 years (two of which we were engaged to be married). But then one day after returning from weekend at my best friends wedding that was out of town(Which she was not able to attend) I came back and she was waiting on the arm of another man. She walked with me, and returned my ring. Sooooo, be careful what you wish for, you may get that dream girl you've been waiting for someday, and when you do, you will put all your heart and soul into that relatrionship because this is it! this is what you have waited and prayed for! And then have your heart brokeninto a million pieces. Of course lucky for me, God was wacthing out for me, and the girl I met at my friends wedding the weekend before called me that night (She got the number from my friend), and one thing led to another and voila... two years later I am happily married to my beautiful Wife. (My signature is just a Joke, I love my marriage! ) So just be careful my friends, the one you wait for may not be the one you end up with anyway... Fate can be funny that way Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Havoc Stryphe Posted January 4, 2002 Share Posted January 4, 2002 Thank You Rogue 9, but I'm married now and not waiting for that girl anymore. Hopefully, you'll never have to "pull" for me again, but thank you anyways. Want to know something though... The girl I married.... not the one I alluded to in my posts. You see I met that girl in college, she was older than me by two years, she was beautiful and extremely outgoing. I was but a mere freshman who, though not quiet, was still very different. I was kind, thoughtful and from a small town. She was a Washington D.C. girl, who never met a guy like me before. Well, she was only used to being treated like crap, so she continued right on through in college dating jerks. I was her "friend", she would come to me with her problems, and ask me what she should do. She would say, "I really like him, but he hurt me, what do I do?" and I would always ask, do you really like him?" and her reply was always yes. I would tell her to give him another chance, and she would and she would thank me the next day and tell me how wonderful he was. But inside I was screaming, I wanted it to be me, not him. What was I doing? I could sabatoge the guy(s), but that's not what I wanted either, I wanted her to be happy, so I just went on that way for 2 years. then on one of our nightly walks where we would talk about our days, and her relationships, it just kinda happened...we kissed. And well, that was that. We fell madly in love and dated for 3 years (two of which we were engaged to be married). But then one day after returning from weekend at my best friends wedding that was out of town(Which she was not able to attend) I came back and she was waiting on the arm of another man. She walked with me, and returned my ring. Sooooo, be careful what you wish for, you may get that dream girl you've been waiting for someday, and when you do, you will put all your heart and soul into that relatrionship because this is it! this is what you have waited and prayed for! And then have your heart brokeninto a million pieces. Of course lucky for me, God was wacthing out for me, and the girl I met at my friends wedding the weekend before called me that night (She got the number from my friend), and one thing led to another and voila... two years later I am happily married to my beautiful Wife. (My signature is just a Joke, I love my marriage! ) So just be careful my friends, the one you wait for may not be the one you end up with anyway... Fate can be funny that way Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heavyarms Posted January 4, 2002 Author Share Posted January 4, 2002 fate is something no one can know. I wish I knew fate. I would be rich! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heavyarms Posted January 4, 2002 Author Share Posted January 4, 2002 fate is something no one can know. I wish I knew fate. I would be rich! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Havoc Stryphe Posted January 4, 2002 Share Posted January 4, 2002 If you knew what Fate did, money would be the least of your problems. I could not live with the knowledgde of what Fate has instore for me. Life would be even more pointless than it already seems if I knew how everything was going to play out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heavyarms Posted January 5, 2002 Author Share Posted January 5, 2002 well, I'd like fate in some ways, but in some ways, I think it is just horrible! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SithMaster2003 Posted January 5, 2002 Share Posted January 5, 2002 inspiring words from Havoc. a story with an ending made in hollywood. the love of your life dumps you for someone else, only for you to find the one you truely love. i honestly admire your patience. waiting 2 yrs patiently, just so you could make a girl happy. almost osunds like me with my friend. i love her from the bottom of my heart, and some days it seems so perfect for us to be together. but lets face it, she likes other guys. so many of those relationships i could have sabotaged just so i could get ahead. but i didnt. i didnt do it because i watned to make her happy and that is all that matters. of course, there is always the little part about when she breaks up, i have the shoulder she needs to cry on. but thats what i am there for, to be her friend, to give her the advice she wants and needs to hear, to listen to her, to give her that shoulder to cry on, to hold her in my arms and tell her everything is gonna be all right. i wouldnt have it any other way... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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