Wacky_Baccy Posted January 21, 2002 Share Posted January 21, 2002 *Collapses in uncontrollable fit of laughter* :rofl::rofl: Damn, Rhett! I thought you said you were going to edit them for the younguns??? Some of that should be X-rated! (hehe... j/k, I s'pose ) Where the hell are you getting this stuff??!!? It's GREAT!!!! Again, keep 'em coming Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Redwing Posted January 21, 2002 Share Posted January 21, 2002 *is laughing uncontrollably* LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (although Frodo's diary is a teensy bit too...warped ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zygomaticus Posted January 21, 2002 Share Posted January 21, 2002 this is so homosexually filled but they are funny either way:rotfl: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ALTUS_Fett Posted January 21, 2002 Share Posted January 21, 2002 :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GB_StormTrooper Posted January 21, 2002 Share Posted January 21, 2002 Lol I just saw the movie too..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boba Rhett Posted January 22, 2002 Author Share Posted January 22, 2002 Last one guys, It's Sams' _________________________________________ THE VERY SECRET DIARY OF SAMWISE GAMGEE Day One: Frodo stabbed by Morgul blade. Oh no! Pippin cried. Told Pippin it would be all right as Mr. Frodo far too hot to die. Did I say that out loud? Day Three: Have followed Mr. Frodo to Rivendell where Elves will heal him. Gandalf told me to help poor unconscious Mr. Frodo get out of dirty clothes. So took clothes off him and gave him a bath. And another one. Then gave him another bath. Gandalf came and told me six baths was quite enough, Samwise Gamgee. Poncy old git probably hasn't taken a bath since the Second Age. Day Four: Wonder if it is time for Mr. Frodo to have another bath yet. Day Five: Elf bubble bath v. colorful and pretty. Gandalf no fun at all. *sulk* Day Six: Mr. Frodo awake! Is doing well although also seems concerned as to why his fingers are all wrinkled. Decided not to tell him about all the baths. Day Seven: Snuck into Council of Elrond. Frodo offered to take Ring to Mordor. Mr. Frodo is so brave, handsome, tall and wonderful! Okay, so possibly isn't all that tall. Day Eight: Off to Mordor. Other members of Fellowship v. dodgy if you ask me. Especially Boromir. "Teaching Merry and Pippin how to sword-fight" my Aunt Lobelia. Obviously pervy hobbit-fancier who likes to roll around with small men in shorts. Day Nine: Aragorn just as pervy as Boromir. Obviously fancies Mr. Frodo. Will kill him if he tries anything. Day Ten: V. dark in Mines of Moria. Used flat edge of sword to whack Aragorn every time he tried to pinch Mr. Frodo in the dark. Gandalf fell into bottomless pit. Mr. Frodo said something later about pointy wizard hat, but did not understand it as am innocent young hobbit from Shire not versed in wordily ways. Pippin says Legolas loves Gimli. Ick. Day Fifteen: Lothlorien v. pretty. Blonde elf lady absolutely hitting on poor Mr. Frodo left, right and center. Pippin agrees. Told Pippin height difference would make relationship impossible. Pippin said Mr. Frodo could stand on stilts. Hate Pippin. Day Twenty-Two: Leaving Lothlorien. Bye-bye grabby elf lady. Not sure where going exactly, but is obviously somewhere water-related, as have been given boats. Do not care really as long as get to share boat with Mr. Frodo. Day Twenty-Three: Boromir finally acted on pent-up lust for Mr. Frodo. Got shot down of course (hurrah!) but not before made spectacle of himself. Claims was trying to take Ring so as to rule world and bring down evil, but we all know that's a big fib don't we. Day Twenty-Four: Boromir killed by orcs. Knew orcs good for something. Frodo off to Mordor. Taking me along, hurrah! Mr. Frodo needs cheering up as seems inexplicably sorry to say goodbye to Gimli, as well as is depressed and claims is now sure he will die a virgin in the barren wastelands of the Dark Lord's realm. We will see about that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Artoo Posted January 22, 2002 Share Posted January 22, 2002 Sam being the fruitiest of them all just as I thought. Sam thinks everyone else is a perve when he is the biggest one of them all. Gandalf stops him from hitting on Frodo too much. :rofl::rofl: I think Frodo's is the funniest, but it is only good if you have read the others. I think I'm going to be sick from all the rolling and laughing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zygomaticus Posted January 22, 2002 Share Posted January 22, 2002 that was good i liked sam and legolas' the best Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest SlashAndBurn Posted January 25, 2002 Share Posted January 25, 2002 PLEASE tell us where you found those!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
captain_drake Posted January 25, 2002 Share Posted January 25, 2002 hey was gandalf alright PLEASE TELL ME FOR I WAS FOOLISH ENOUGH TO MISS THE MOVIE Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zygomaticus Posted January 25, 2002 Share Posted January 25, 2002 Can I continue THE VERY SECRET DIARY OF GIMLI SON OF GLOIN DAY ONE Grr. Argh. DAY TWO Faffing about in Rivendell with stuck-up elves v. bad for my digestion. Have asked Elrond to move me to second floor as cannot get into bathroom here without being subjected to sight of hobbits bathing amongst scented candles. Is ridiculous. Got splashed with strawberry bath foam yesterday. On plus side, beard now silky and conditioned. DAY THREE Elrond refuses to move my room. Walked in on hobbits again this morning. What WERE they doing with that carrot? Inbred bunch of halfwits, no wonder they can’t even grow decent beards. DAY SEVEN Suspect Aragorn son of Arathorn of being pervy hobbit-fancier. Completely ignoring hottie elf fiancèe in favor of barging about with hairy-footed gnomes in leather breeches. Fortunately I, Gimli son of Gloin, am here to take care of her loneliness. Later. Elf women just the right height to keep my ears warm. Go me! DAY NINE Have agreed to go on Quest. Arwen getting awfully grabby. Gimli son of Gloin will not be tied down. Would rather spend time with touchy-feely hobbits and poncy elves than hang about Rivendell taking about ‘our relationship.’ DAY THIRTEEN V. cold on top of Caradhras. Big fight over who got to carry hobbits up the mountain. Did not participate as was busy showing Legolas how to get hair braided just right. Fight ended when Aragorn picked up Ringbearer and stuffed him in his trousers. That’s right, Isildur’s Heir. Suffocate the Ringbearer. Honestly, these people. DAY FOURTEEN In Mines of Moria. May have made slight miscalculation, as it seems that cousin Balin has been dead for at least sixty years. Suppose it should have occurred to me that has been a while since last got Christmas card from the Moria folks. Still, cannot be expected to keep track of everything. DAY FIFTEEN Gandalf fell into shadow. Hobbits used as excuse to have teary cuddlefest on rocks. Suffered manly embrace from Boromir, although he kept jabbing Horn of Gondor into my solar plexus. At least, hope that was the Horn of Gondor. Does not bear thinking about if not. DAY SIXTEEN Legolas told me Aragorn is way into Frodo. Sam will kill him if he tries anything. Suggested to Legolas that we might want a leader who is less of a lech. Legolas then asked if I wanted to take a bath with him. Beginning to suspect that all that Elvish poetry about the glory of warrior-bonds between men just big cover-up for illicit spanking games. DAY TWENTY In Lothlorien. Galadriel quite the babe. While hobbits off power cuddling and Boromir chasing Aragorn, had time to show her a few dwarf tricks. Nothing fancy, just a bit of Hide the Helmet and Delving In The Mines. V. satisfactory for everyone, except possibly Celeborn. On second thought, maybe that was Celeborn. Cannot much tell difference with elves. DAY TWENTY-TWO Left Lothlorien. Have been paddling in boats for days. Am getting v. lonely. Hobbits looking not so bad. Rather cute in fact, despite mullet haircuts. Cannot get near Frodo without getting bitten on kneecaps by Sam, and Pippin dating Boromir, so will see if perhaps Merry wants to take a nice moonlit stroll tonight. Hurrah for warrior-bonds between men. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wacky_Baccy Posted January 25, 2002 Share Posted January 25, 2002 *In severe pain due to huge amount of air trying desperately to escape from my lungs in the form of hysterical laughter* I was right!!!!!!! ...that these really do get better as they go along!! (and that they should be X-rated ) Gimli's is the best one yet!!! You didn't write that yourself, did you krkode? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JediMasterEd Posted January 25, 2002 Share Posted January 25, 2002 :rofl: :rofl: :lol: AHAHAHAHAHA!!! gimme the link please. oh PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE! still no king. dammit! *snicker* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zygomaticus Posted January 26, 2002 Share Posted January 26, 2002 Originally posted by Wacky_Baccy *In severe pain due to huge amount of air trying desperately to escape from my lungs in the form of hysterical laughter* I was right!!!!!!! ...that these really do get better as they go along!! (and that they should be X-rated ) Gimli's is the best one yet!!! You didn't write that yourself, did you krkode? nope. ive got one for gandalf and saruman too, but they are much tooo you know....x rated..and i would rather have rhett edit it and post it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wacky_Baccy Posted January 26, 2002 Share Posted January 26, 2002 Please, please, PLEASE PM me the link!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JediMasterEd Posted January 26, 2002 Share Posted January 26, 2002 ME TOO!!! PLEASE krkode? hate it when it's edited to be "appropriate"...kinda. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Redwing Posted January 27, 2002 Share Posted January 27, 2002 Please krk....can I have link too? lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LQ. Posted January 27, 2002 Share Posted January 27, 2002 BUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! oh...god...need...air...BUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!! *is choking she's holding her laughter in so much since it's after 3 am here* Oh this is terrible. I LOVE IT!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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