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Instructions in case of a nuclear attack


Darth Homer

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1) Stay clear of all windows.

 

2) Keep hands free of glasses, bottles, cigarettes, etc.

 

3) Stand away from bar, tables, orchestra, equipment, and furniture.

 

4) Loosen necktie, unbutton coat and any other restrictive clothing.

 

5) Remove glasses, empty pockets of all sharp objects such as pens, pencils, etc.

 

6) Immediately upon seeing the brilliant flash of nuclear explosion, bend over and place your head firmly between your legs.

 

7) Then kiss your @$$ goodbye.

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Well, that's if your inside the instant death zone. If your mearly inside the death from radiation zone, you still would have up to 30 days left to sit around before the blinding pain/death kicks in. :freakout:

 

 

Check this blast mapper out. Set the type of bomb and were it hits then see the damage radius. Ehehe... I hope none of you live very close to large military bases. :D

 

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/amex/bomb/sfeature/blastmap.html

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You joke, but I lived within 2 miles of Limmerick Nuclear Power plant in Pottstown, PA for three years (I could see it through my apartment window!). I had to actually practice drills, on a city scale, of what to do in case of nuclear meltdown. Needless to say, I didn't sleep well those three years! :D

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