Zygomaticus Posted April 25, 2002 Share Posted April 25, 2002 This was something our government teacher read to us, as a joke. I dont remember them all, but i'll post as many as i can remember. 2 cows communism: you give both your cows to the government and they may give you the milk Socialism: you give one cow to your neighbour. Capitalism: you sell one cow and buy a bull! Naziism: the government shoots you and takes both your cows. Thats all i have for now.... Maybe ill ask him to read it out again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Homer Posted April 25, 2002 Share Posted April 25, 2002 not to out do you or anything, krkode, but here is the bit in it's entirety as heard on the John Boy & Billy show (morning radio show of rednecks & classic rock ) Bovine Economics The great systems of the world can be explained with two cows. Socialism: You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor. Communism: You have two cows. The government takes them both and provides you with milk. Fascism: You have two cows. The government takes them both and sells you the milk. Bureaucracy: You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, and then pours it down the drain. Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Corporate: You have two cows. You sell one, force the other to produce the milk of four cows and then act surprised when it drops dead. Democracy: You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point that you must sell them both in order to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow which was a gift from your government. note: obtained from: http://www.thebigshow.com/downloads.html Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Artoo Posted April 26, 2002 Share Posted April 26, 2002 Oh very good. I'm saving this. Bureaucracy, Democracy, Corporate. ALL good. :rofl: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zygomaticus Posted April 26, 2002 Author Share Posted April 26, 2002 Yes that was the list my teacher read to me....i guess you got it before Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Uutont Fær Uulion Posted April 26, 2002 Share Posted April 26, 2002 surealism is the best Surealism: you have two giraffes the government makes you take harmonica lessons Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boba Rhett Posted April 26, 2002 Share Posted April 26, 2002 That reminds me.... How many surealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Fish. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tie Guy Posted April 26, 2002 Share Posted April 26, 2002 Post-Modernism: There are no cows. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dagobahn Eagle Posted April 26, 2002 Share Posted April 26, 2002 Hey, Democracy is a acy and not an ism ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clefo Posted April 26, 2002 Share Posted April 26, 2002 Fundimentalism: You have to sacrifice one cow to your god and the other one is taken by the government for the "Good of god".. Okay its not funny, but I think its accurate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paragon_Leon Posted April 26, 2002 Share Posted April 26, 2002 Fundamentalism: Holy cow !!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xerxes603 Posted April 27, 2002 Share Posted April 27, 2002 Originally posted by Paragon_Leon Fundamentalism: Holy cow !!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Homer Posted April 27, 2002 Share Posted April 27, 2002 Originally posted by Paragon_Leon Fundamentalism: Holy cow !!! Actually, wouldn't this be Hinduism?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zygomaticus Posted April 27, 2002 Author Share Posted April 27, 2002 Originally posted by Darth Homer Actually, wouldn't this be Hinduism?? Yes, he's right Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xerxes603 Posted April 27, 2002 Share Posted April 27, 2002 somebody come up with one for Daoism (sp?) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heavyarms Posted April 27, 2002 Share Posted April 27, 2002 Dictatorship: You have 2 cows. They take both, and give you a beer bottle filled with something that you wouldn't like (dumb and dumber anyone?) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Natopo Posted April 27, 2002 Share Posted April 27, 2002 :lol::rofl: Keep em' coming! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paragon_Leon Posted April 27, 2002 Share Posted April 27, 2002 Stoicism: Two cows bore each other Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heavyarms Posted April 27, 2002 Share Posted April 27, 2002 this one's good hehehe: prism: have two cows, and you get a very large number! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paragon_Leon Posted April 27, 2002 Share Posted April 27, 2002 Nihilism: which cows ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tie Guy Posted April 28, 2002 Share Posted April 28, 2002 Atheism - You don't believe in cows Epicureanism- You sell the cows and throw a party Environmentalism- You set both cows free and die of starvation Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paragon_Leon Posted April 29, 2002 Share Posted April 29, 2002 Ventriloquism: The cows speak to each other with their respective 6 or so stomachs... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Homer Posted April 29, 2002 Share Posted April 29, 2002 Bovine Religion (I don't mean this to offened anyone, so don't pm me w/ complaints...sheesh, lighten up ) Creationism - In the begining there was only one cow. Catholicism - We have the one true cow. Judaism - The cow has not come yet Islam - There are many cows Atheist - There are no cows (Tie Guy got this one before me ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zygomaticus Posted April 29, 2002 Author Share Posted April 29, 2002 btw where you getting complaints from people?? initially this was only meant for governments... not meant to insult any religion Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Homer Posted April 30, 2002 Share Posted April 30, 2002 I haven't yet...just wanted to nip any problems in the bud...also, i thought of some religion stuff and thought it was realted enough to post in this thread... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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