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CONSPIRACIES! What the government doesn't want you to know


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::Alright, let me start this off with a disclaimer. If any of my conspiracies are found offensive by the readers, I'm sorry. Second, these aren't true....or are they.....::

 

::Oh yeah, and anyone else who wants to make some conspiracies feel free to::

 

So anyways, of course you all remember 9-11. Remeber how much it looked like something off of tv? well guess what. It was a tv program! the terrorist attack never really happened! In fact, there never really was a New York! It was all like Shell Beach from that movie Dark City. Sure, road signs tell you you're on the right path to New York. The roads will even lead you right up to where the supposed city stands. But once you get there, the road simply ends. There is nothing but a large wall that says "Welcome to New York" and has a large painting of the skyline. There is no New York! Everyone in all those pictures and movies of New York are payed actors. Anyone who says that they are from New York is actually working for the government. Trust me, I know. Never trust someone who says that they are from New York....It's a call sign for "I'm with the government". "Oh really? I have family there" is another callsign. It means "I am too". They will then have a coded conversation about government affairs and such. "Well Gaalgoth, where's your proof?" you say? Well if my word isn't enough, try this on. Remember those Pace Salsa commercials where everyone would say "New York City?" because the salsa wasn't real salsa? Well when was the last time you saw one of those. A long time ago. They were taken off the air because they commented on the fakeness of New York. They alerted the public--however suddley--of New York's falsehood. Pace Picante Sauce is the corporate figurehead of the resistance against the government. They are one of our last hopes against the falsehoods of New York and America's Governmenet and have sacraficed their reputation with the government to alert us of the lies we are being fed. Vive la Resistance!

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Silly? what are you talking about! the French have been aiding the resistance since WW2. They are most informative and helpful. Explains why they hate Americans so much, doesn't it? They're afraid that our government will somehow gain a foothold in their own government and submit them to the same delusions that Americans are under. How do the French know so much about our populace, you ask? Simple. Through the condiment company known as French's . Pace Picante Sauce and French's. Seeing a theme here? I hope so. The condiment companies are uniting against the government. Yes, that's right, the condiment companies are our backers. They have an unlimited supply of funds because nobody--not even the government officials--can eat french fries without ketchup. They will always be in business, so we never have to worry about money. They're currently experimenting with a variety of formulas that will hopefully open your eyes to the truths of our world. The most recent formula turns ketchup green, which actually is rather fortunate because it attracts children and they are opened to the truth from a young age. So keep on the look out for the truth guys. Keep using your condiments so that our formula will take affect and join us against the government. Vive la Resistance!

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I saw an author of a similar book on TV the other night. He's a Canadian guy. He claims the US helped to plan the whole thing. He was coming up with 'facts' and timelines on the day that, according to him, points the finger at the US.

He's a very typical conspiracy theorist.

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don't be racist, aliens are people....too.......ok shut up. mike, give me your beta. you can't handle it, you need aposeable thumbs to use a mouse properly and the aliens in area 52 don't have those, just a vestigial tentacle. It's not the same thing, mike. Remeber what buffalo bill said in silence of the lambs, "It puts the lotion on it's skin or else it gets the hose again!" think about it mike. it could be you. now put the beta in the bucket.

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I didn't say I was one of the Area 52 aliens. I'm actually a hybrid created from their DNA coupled with human DNA, so I do have opposable thumbs. In fact I have an extra one.

 

How many times do I have to tell you guys. I don't have a beta - yet. ;)

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oh! so now you think you're special cause you have more opposeable thumbs than us humans, huh? tch....damn aliens with your fancy flying saucers and shiny suits....well let me tell you something, bub, we don't take kindly to your folk around here! especially you all mixed something or others with your alien blood and human blood all mixin together....don't you know you hybrids make baby jesus cry?

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oh yeah? you got a death ray, huh? ::pulls out a foot long sub:: well I got two...death...rays........::throws sandwich away and pulls out lightsaber:: lets dance old man! I'm doin this the old fashioned way!

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