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Redneck Jedi


capt_barbarian

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You're A Redneck Jedi When

 

1. You use the force to cheat at fishing, bowling, and long-distance spitting.

 

2. More than half the droids you own don't function.

 

3. The number of blasters you own exceeds your I. Q.

 

4. You wonder why Luke and Leia never got married.

 

5. You used a carbon-freezing chamber to store the 78 Wampas you shot while vacationing on Hoth.

 

6. Your moonshine is made on the moon.

 

7. You don't like wearing a Jedi robe because it prevents access to the dip stored in your back pocket.

 

8. Sandpeople back down from your mama.

 

9. You've used Jedi mind control to talk your way out of a DUI.

 

10. You've strangled people with the force because they laughed at your accent.

 

11. You built an outhouse over the Sarlaac.

 

12. You've argued with a Jawa over scavenging rights to a broken droid.

 

13. A Wookie has told you that you need to shave.

 

14. You've wrecked several landspeeders while lighting cigarettes with your lightsaber.

 

15. You don't think the Ewoks are primitive.

 

16. You've gone AT-AT tipping.

 

17. Jabba's pig guards think you have a hygiene problem.

 

18. You consider your lightsaber the ultimate bug zapper.

 

19. The Rancor monster refused to eat you.

 

20. You discovered that your greatest enemy is, in fact, your father, who also happens to be your brother.

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