whitedragon Posted October 8, 2003 Author Share Posted October 8, 2003 ok here it is Insatiable Panda: I am Insatiable. I can never be satisfied. it is my gift it is...my curse. White Dragon: Boy I wish I had a neat motto like that. Insatiable Panda: You really like it. White dragon: Its not bad. Not bad at all. *Dragon wakes up next to his wife jamie* White Dragon: I must find this man. Jamie: Thats nice but first you need to get the **** to bed. White Dragon: Oh sorry...so now that were both up you want to_ Jamie: Yes. White Dragon: Ok I was just asking...wait you said yes. *the next morning Dragon decides to start his search for Insatiable in the place he hasent been to in a long time Lucasforum. after many people welcomeing him back he asks the question* White Dragon: Has anyone seen a guy named Insatiable Panda around anywhere on the net. Darklighter: Cant say that I have. Obi-wan13: Nope sorry. Dragonslayer22: Hello again. White Dragon: Oh boy. Dragonslayer22: I know his whereabouts and I will tell you for a price. White Dragon: Ah the rageing bever wants to play hopscotch with a eskimo of the night. Dragonslayer22: Huh? White Dragon: Nothing. what are your demands my so called arch enemy. Dragonslayer22: I hear you have a wife. White Dragon: YOU LEAVE HER OUT OF THIS! Dragonslayer22: And I also hear that shes very good at...certian things. White Dragon: No way in hell think of something else you want. Dragonslayer22: So I want her to_ White Dragon: Finish that sentence and your dead. Dragonslayer22: Make me some of her delicious pancakes. White Dragon: Oh...thats what you ment. Dragonslayer22: Yeah what did you think I ment...so anyway I want you to meet me at southpoint mall near the table next to the book store. Ill bring my lightsaber so you will recognise me. *at the mall* Jamie: So this guy wanted my pancakes? how did he know I make pancakes? White Dragon: Well I like to brag about you. Jamie: What else have you braged about? White Dragon: Well uh...oh look there he is. Dragonslayer: Hi guys...so you uh...you got the stuff. White Dragon: OH FOR GOODNESS SAKE its just pancakes. HERE. By the way do you have a name or shall I just keep calling you dragonslayer. Dragonslayer: Its Hans. Boy these pancakes look great. White Dragon: Hans...cool so you have your pancakes tell me what I want to know. Hans: Insatiable Panda usually hangs out at this server called the panda brigade. White Dragon: You mean on JK2 I dident think anyone ever played it anymore. Hans: Mmmm these are absolutely wonderful pancakes. Jamie: Thanks thats what he says all the time. Hans: You have married a keeper ian. White Dragon: I know isent she awsome...were getting off the subject. Jamie: I dont mind. Hans: Well ever sence JK3 was said to be close to completion no one ever got on to play anymore but Insatiable isent your normal gamer he just dosent play for fun he plays to be the best hes been training constantly on his server getting ready for JK3. Ide be careful if I were you though, theres more to him than meets the eye. White Dragon: This is all very interesting. Thank you for your time. Hans: No problem. You are still my arch rivel though. Ian: Yeah yeah whatever. Hans: Wow your wife has some nice melons. White Dragon: WHAT YOU SONOVA_ Jamie: Ian im holding melons. White Dragon: Oh sorry. Hans: Her hooters arent bad eather. White Dragon: HEY YOU_ Jamie: Ian im holding owls. White Dragon: Uh can we just leave please? *White Dragon takes out his JK2 cd and blows the dust off of it* Ian: Well if there was ever a time to do this it would be now. *Dragon logs in and sees a lone figure standing in the middle of bespin fight club. Suddenly 10 bots jump out and attack. with one great swipe of his saber the bots are all killed. White Dragon steps over the melted bots and walks up to the man.* White Dragon: Insatiable Panda? Insatiable Panda: What? Whos there? Is that you grandfather? Your voice changed. White Dragon: Uh behind you. Insatiable Panda: AWWWWWWWWWWRIGHT I havent had a chalenger in ages come let me buy you a drink. *Insatiable Panda leads White Dragon up to the bar.* Insatiable Panda: What do you want to drink. White Dragon: Thanks but I dont drink. Insatiable Panda: Now thats something I can respect. you like to have a clear head before a match you like to rela_ *White Dragon lights up a joint* White Dragon: Wanna toke? Insatiable Panda: Uh...why not. White Dragon: Ahh your right I do like to relax. Insatiable Panda: So Dragon what brings you to my neck of the woods? White Dragon: Ive been haveing dreams about you. Insatiable Panda: ew... White Dragon: NOT THOSE TYPES OF DREAMS! Insatiable Panda: Then what type? White Dragon: You remember in mortal combat when Lu Kang dreamed about that one evil dude killing his brother. Its that kind of dream. Insatiable Panda: I killed your brother? im sorry. If I knew he was your brother I wouldent have killed him. White Dragon: No I dont think you killed my brother and I wouldent complane if you did. I think it was a dream that ment I was supposed to find you. You know I got a kindof "if you build it he will come" vibe goin. Insatiable Panda: Mabey its a message from the spirit dog chibbles that we are supposed to go on a magic quest to stop the ice king from kidnapping the children of mongolia. White Dragon: Ice king huh...ill look into that. Insatiable Panda: Anyway lets fight I mite come up with something after that. White Dragon: Ok but let me warm up I havent sparred in a long time. *Dragon takes out his double bladed saber which he calls_* White Dragon: Mike I know we havent done this in awhile but I have faith in you. Insatiable Panda: Your talking to your saber. White Dragon: I have a personal connection with my saber and that connection has helped me in alot of battles. Insatiable Panda: Did you smoke any reefer before you came over here? White Dragon: I find that question offencive...and very obvious. Lets get em mike! *they ignite their sabers and begin. Dragon uses light stance and Insatiable uses medium. Dragon throws his saber and runs at Insatiable, Insatiable blocks but dosent realise that Dragon was running at him while he was throwing the saber. Dragon catches mike and then launches a quick downward slash at Insatiable they get into a saber lock and Insatiable over powers Dragon. Dragon jumps back quickly and Insatiable slashes his jacket. Dragon quickly force chokes Insatiable then jumps as high as he can lifts Insatiable high into the air and drops him.* Insatiable Panda: WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT! White Dragon: A little trick I learned in the ol jedi knight retirement home. Insatiable Panda: Did they teach you this? *Insatiable throws his saber at Dragon and Dragon jumps out of the way.* White Dragon: Duh no where did you learn that? *Insatiable still controling the saber summons it back and it knicks Dragons elbow as it returns.* White Dragon: FRICKEN, FRACKEN, GARBLE, ZOG, NOG, A DOO DA DAY!!! Insatiable Panda: Ouch that looked like it hurt. White Dragon: Ahh just a bit. *They both charge at eachother yelling in a very dramatic way then they do that cheesy anime run and slash at eachother then theres a flash of light and both are standing away from eachother and one guy falls down and dies. Only they both missed eachother* Insatiable Panda: That was fun. White Dragon: WTF one of us dident even die. Insatiable Panda: Well I dont think we need to and...what did you say? White Dragon: You mean WTF? Insatiable Panda: UREKA! White Dragon: WHAT WHATS GOING ON WHY DOSENT ANYONE TELL ME ANYTHING?! Insatiable Panda: Pandawan he was the one who was sending you the dreams. White Dragon: How can some dude I dont know send me dreams. Insatiable Panda: This is no ordinary dude. he is THE ONE! *dun dun dun dun DUNNNNNNNN* Insatiable Panda: I never had those in my stories. White Dragon: Well your not writeing this one are you. Insatiable Panda: We need to find him. White Dragon: Good luck. Insatiable Panda: You arent going to help? White Dragon: Well it sounds like fun but im not sure my wife will like me going off on a mistical quest to find the one. Insatiable Panda: Wife huh that must be torture. White Dragon: He he he oh yeah torture like last night he he he. Insatiable Panda: Ooook well I think you need to come Pandawan sent you for a reason. White Dragon: Mabey cause im so rugedly handsom. Insatiable Panda: ....yeah. White Dragon: Anyway I need to go talk this over with my wife but ill get back to you. Insatiable Panda: What will be your signal for yes? White Dragon: Signal? How about I just say yes. Insatiable Panda: FINE ruin all my fun! White Dragon: Hold on....Honey? Jamie: Yeah? White Dragon: Its it ok with you if tomarrow I go on a mistical quest that mite hold the fate of man kind in the balance? Jamie: Huh? White Dragon: It involves video games. Jamie: Oh. On three conditions, one you write about what happens in a funny way, two you bring me a souvinier, three I get a foot rub tonite. White Dragon: No problem. Insatiable Panda: Wow she agreed to that pretty easly. White Dragon: Yeah torture. Oh by the way heres my signal. *White Dragon cuts Insatiable Panda in half* Insatiable Panda: you friggen jerk. *Roybot logs in* Roybot: hey you guys. you guys hey guys hey. Insatiable Panda: WHAT? Roybot: Can I join your clan.? White Dragon: uh we arent in... Roybot: my names melvin but my friends call me roybot. White Dragon: so no one calls you roybot. Roybot: huh? so anyway I was wondering.. *Insatiable Panda cuts Roybot in half* Insatiable Panda: this is what I have to deal with nowadays. White Dragon: you poor soul. Insatiable Panda: ah its ok I mean..UREKA! White Dragon: do you use that word alot? Insatiable Panda: no just sence you showed up. I think that our best bet would be to go to E3. White Dragon: yeah when you get on the waiting list for tickets and then finally get them 50 years later let me know. Insatiable Panda: tickets we dont need no stinking tickets look who your talking to. White Dragon: well im all for it if you can get us in there. *Bill Clinton logs in* Bill Clinton: I did not have sexual relations with that hampster. White Dragon: have fun killing this guy. Insatiable Panda: oh I will...i will. *White Dragon lights up a joint and watches Insatiable Panda cut clintons nuts off* Insatiable Panda: that was very satisfying...can I hit that. *several hour later* White Dragon: ground hogs, fairys, midgets, nomes, ****en unicorns...they are all racest agenct dragons. I hate em. Insatiable Panda: wait wait...what if monkeys had teret syndrom? White Dragon: nice man you tell it like it is..hold on my wife just took my joint. thats my que ill see you tomarrow. Insatiable Panda: ok stay cool and dont let the robots get you. *after many "foot rubs" white dragon begins his quest to E3 after several hours he finds the place its being held* Insatiable Panda: ahh you made it. White Dragon: how the hell are we going to get in without tickets? Insatiable Panda: I got it under control trust me. *they walk up to the ticket agents who look like reject bouncers* Insatiable Panda: hello fellas. bouncer 1: may I see your tickets...now. Insatiable Panda: we dont have any tickets but my friend george washington does. *Insatiable Panda slips the bouncer a 1$* Bouncer 1: .... Insatiable Panda: not enough huh well heres a few lincons. *Insatiable slips him afew pennies* bouncer 2: you two mite want to leave before we get to do what were paid for. Insatiable Panda: well my plans screwed. White Dragon: do not fear Insatiable for I am a master in "cheep flashy fake hollywood jacky chan like crappy kung-fu". *suddenly a vase appears in White Dragons hands and the bounces start hitting him. Dragon hands bouncer 2 the vase and starts smacking bouncer 1. bouncer 1 falls down and passes out. bouncer 2 breaks the vase* White Dragon: ****E! *Dragon pickes up a chair and breaks it over bouncer 2s head then throws him into an oncomeing car. the car explodes and Dragon walks out of the flames unhurt* Insatiable Panda: that was...entertaining. White Dragon: better than ol george washingtons plan. Insatiable Panda: I thought it was a good plan. *meanwhile on the top floor a sinister character is talking to the one Pandawan* Sinister character lurking in the shadows: (extreamly girly laugh thats supposed to substitute for a evil laugh) so Pandawan you are "THE ONE". *dun dun duuuuuuun* Sinister character lurking in the shadows: I am very interested is seeing what you are capable of, I will use your powers for.....evil stuff muuuhahahaha. Pandawan: got any ramen? Sinister character lurking in the shadows: no. Pandawan: cheap bastard. *at the bottom floor* Insatiable Panda: hey look at this game its a 3rd person shooter. White Dragon: We dont have time to be messing around while_SWEET MERCIFUL CRAP!! RETURN OF THE KING FOR PS2! *screams like a teenage overweight girl at an N-Synk concert* Security guard: Hey those are the guys who killed the bou_uh ticket agents. Insatiable Panda: I think we need to wait for the movie. *the security guard chaces them around a corner into a hallway but as the guard turns the corner Insatiable and dragon arent there* Security guard: where the hell are they? *Dragon (hanging on the celing like a ninja) spits on the guards head* Security Guard: WHO DID THAT!!! Insatiable Panda: (hanging on the celing too) he he he. *the guard looks up and sees them* White Dragon: uh...hi. Security guard: hi did you see anyone go by here? White Dragon: uh nope nobodys here. Insatiable Panda: no one but us ninjas. Security guard: hmm damn ninja infestation...need to call the exterminator. *the celing breaks and Dragon and Insatiable both fall down* Security guard: aha there you are. White Dragon: NINJA VANISH!! *Dragon takes out a smoke bomb and throws it on the ground. a tiny puff of smoke appears and Dragon and Insatiable are uh...still there* White Dragon: *sigh* *Insatiable Panda cold cocks the security guard* Insatiable Panda: the panda punch conquers all! *meanwhile not more than a swallows flight away Jamie is at a local baskin robbins* Jamie: hmm...my birthday is 6 mounths away so this could be like my half birthday. *suddenly FBI agents break in the baskin robbins* FBI agent: FREEZE!!!!!! Jamie: ow my ear asshole! *Jamie grabs the man by the shirt and smashes his head into the freezer door...several times.* Jamie: did I freeze enough asswipe! FBI agent: ow... *just then a man walks in the door* Special agent baiter: you are your husbands wife. Jamie: how did I knooooow he was in on this? *back at E3* White Dragon: hey I got to go the the bath room. Insatiable Panda: me too. *they both go into the bathroom* White Dragon: ladys and gentelmen introduceing my penis....hey did you see that new star craft game? Insatiable Panda: hey men dont talk while on the pot. White Dragon: why is this a rule? Insatiable Panda: its just not...right. White Dragon: awww dose it block up when your distracted do you have PPS? Insatiable Panda: What? White Dragon: public pissing syndrome. Insatiable Panda: asshole. *at the main hall several men with guns break in* Asa killen: ALRIGHT YOU ARE ALL HOSTAGES AND I WILL KILL YOU IF YOU DONT ACT LIKE IT!!! Game designer: *not trying* ummm ooo ahhh help dont kill me. Asa killen: aw close enough. so anyway I am looking for the owner of this building and if I dont find him soon ill have to kill some of you so the police you know...think im crazy and I can plead insanity. Game designer: uh I think hes on the top floor. Asa killen: gee thanks here have some gum. *asa walks away* Asa's henchman 1: ok were in charge now so I want all the fine women on the right side and all you other people on the left. Game designer: ha women at E3 ha ha ha. *White Dragon and Insatiable Panda walk out of the bathroom* Asa's henchman 2: WHAT THE HELL! White Dragon: uh hi wheres jon McKlane when you need him? Insatiable Panda: I love these demonstrations they do whats my line uh. eek help terrorists. Asa's henchman 3: listen cooperate and you wont die a horrible death. Insatiable Panda: wait...uh..*clint eastwood voice* I know what your thinking did he fire all 6 shots or only 5 well you got to ask yourself one_ *the henchman hits Insatiable with his gun* White Dragon: im cooperateing! im cooperateing! *Jamie and agent baiter finally meet* Special agent baiter: hello mrs. jamie my name is baiter. Jamie: oh so your baiter Ians told me alot about you. Special agent baiter: well I owe Ian alot. Jamie: why? Special agent baiter: because eversence the incident with the dell dude ive been promoted to special agent. it has a nice ring to it...Special agent baiter. Jamie: yeah. well if you dont tell me why youve broken into my favorite ice cream place and got some goon to yell at me in the ear then I will paralise you from the waste down and literally make you a special agent. Special agent baiter: well your husband has been framed. Jamie: again? Special agent baiter: but I know he dident do it. Jamie: *sigh* what happend? Special agent baiter: a man named Asa killen has taken the whole of the E3 convention hostage. Jamie: yup thats usually the case. Special agent baiter: apparently your husband had come in cotact with this man earlyer in his life. Jamie: I bet hes met alot of famous killers. Special agent baiter: and so sence he is...himself everyone thinks that hes taken part in it. Jamie: I think he bunked with osama bin laden in college.. *flashback* Ian: I got top bunk. Osama: top bunk? no I get top bunk! my goat get bottom bunk! you sleep on floor infedel! Goat: baaaa! Ian: oooh you wait. youll get yours. *two mounths later* Osama: EEEEEKKK my goat is dead!! Ian: oh...really *ehem* uh can I barrow your car I got to do my laundry. Osama: NO DAMN YOU AMERICANS TO HELL!!! *back to jamie* Jamie: he tryed to be nice but osama wouldent try, the damn goat got in the way. Special agent baiter: that was an...entertaining story but the main reason im here is that despite my superiors orders im going to go in there and clear ians name. Jamie: well then why arent you. Special agent baiter: because he wanted more of you in the story. Jamie: he he. *back at E3 Dragons sitting agenct a wall with Insatiables unconcious body* White Dragon: 99 bags of shwag on the table 99 bags of shwag...i hate shwag. just say no...to shwag. he he I should be a slogan writer. *Dragon takes out a joint and lights it* White Dragon: wakey wakey Insatiable we need to find out how to beat the liveing **** out of these guys. *Dragon waves the joint infront of Insatiables face* Insatiable Panda: gimme! White Dragon: yeah now you wake up. Insatiable Panda: so whats our situation? White Dragon: well 3 badassed mother ****ers with semi automatic machine guns have us all in a big room with video games which sadly enough they wont let us play while were waiting for their leader to do who knows what with the guy upstairs, we have no wepons, no advantages, your weak from getting hit in the head, the nerds have pissed themselves, im running out of weed, and my wife will kill me if I dont get home before 8:00. Insatiable Panda: nice recap. White Dragon: I practiced while you were unconcious. Insatiable Panda: if only Pandawan were here at least we would be evenly numbered. weve been through a situation like this before. White Dragon: I know he told me...that gives me an idea. punch me! *WHAP* White Dragon: OW I ment knock me out. *WHAP* White Dragon: OWWWW damn this thick skull of mine! *White Dragon slams his head agenct the wall 38 times before he finally passes out* Game designer: whos gonna pay for that wall?? *Dragon dreams hes in his favorite JK2 map Saturday Night Force. neon lights flash as he enters the disco club Dragon starts danceing but suddenly a man in a very snazzy white disco suit walks in the door* Pandawan: you have some weird dreams. White Dragon: your the one ive been searching for. Pandawan: yup thats me. *Pandawan and Dragon go to the bar* White Dragon: why have you been trying to contact me? Pandawan: bacause im in deep trouble and I beleave that only you and Insatiable can help me. White Dragon: IRS? Pandawan: worse. White Dragon: worse than the IRS huh...well ill be seeing you. Pandawan: wait if you help me then ill help you. White Dragon: how Pandawan: ive done some research on you and I see you have a knack for being at the scean of a crime. White Dragon: *ehem* your point. Pandawan: well sence I am the one I can hack into the FBI database and erase all your records so that they will never bother you again. White Dragon: ARE YOU INSANE!! Pandawan: huh? White Dragon: if you do that ill have nothing to do on the weekends. Pandawan: ok then how bout I burn you a copy of JK3 bata version White Dragon: you have yourself a deal. so tell me what you can about where you are. Pandawan: top floor main office. im being held by a real geek hes getting annoying. White Dragon: but what dose he want? Pandawan: hes saying something about ruling the world. then he said I should listen to him...i dont know I wasent paying attention. btw ide watch it on your way up I heard something about terrorists. White Dragon: yeah me and Insatiable are being held hostage by them. Pandawan: well have fun your about to wake up. *Dragon wakes up* Insatiable Panda: mabey I should get you some ice? White Dragon: well Pandawans being held at the top floor by a geek and I have come up with a good plan to get the terrorists out of our hair. Insatiable Panda: I cant wait to see. White Dragon: HEY TERRORIST GUY THERES A SPIDER ON YOUR BACK! *all three terrorists start spinning around trying to get the imagenary spiders. then Insatiable Panda takes a conveniant fire extinguisher and knocks them all out* Insatiable Panda: be free little nerds be freez! Nerds: hoora! White Dragon: lets go find your buddy. *a SWAT team suddenly breaks in and surrounds them* SWAT guy: FREEZE!!!! White Dragon: what ide give to be keanu reeves right now. Special Agent Baiter: STOP this man is innocent. White Dragon: hey its master ba_ SWAT guy: I cant allow this sicko to leave he is under arrest and I will bring him in! Jamie: what did you just call my husband? SWAT guy: a sicko! *Dragon quickly ducks behind Insatiable* Jamie: that was not a nice thing to say...Ian quickly go ive got this coverd *snaps knuckels and grins* White Dragon: I love you. Jamie: I know. (i.e. empire) *Dragon, Insatiable, and agent baiter go to the elevator* Insatiable Panda: hey man arent you worryed about your wife. White Dragon: im more worried about the SWAT team. *its a long way to the top floor* Special agent baiter: 1 is the lonelyest number that youll ever do. White Dragon: oh jeebus! Insatiable Panda: stop please. *a long way* Insatiable Panda: do you know why they call me Insatiable? All: yes. Insatiable Panda: oh well...ok. *and slow* White Dragon: so you take any one line from star wars. you take out a nown and insert the word pants for example "luke help me take these pants off" "but youll die" "nothing can stop that now". Insatiable Panda: so its one of those games you play when you get bored like...scrabble. Special agent baiter: im hungry. *they finally get there and* Insatiable Panda: ok when we get in there im gonna act crazy and start yelling and dragon you are going to try and calm me down mean while baiter your going to quietly get Pandawan after that we will use a smoke bomb to get away. after that I will use a trick I learned on mcgiver by useing a pen a paper clip and a box of matches I will make a helecopter go down rescue your wife and get away. White Dragon: or we could just go in there and beat the **** out of everyone. Insatiable Panda:...that works too. *they bust in the door to find asa holding a shadowy character at gun point* White Dragon: asa asa killen I havent seen you sence high school. Asa killen: oh hi Ian. Shadowy figure: muuhahah you fools you cannot hurt me. White Dragon: so your a terrorist now hows that treatin you? Asa killen: its ok I get good benefits, but the hostages get annoying with the "dont kill me" I wouldent kill them if they would shut up. Shadowy figure: did you hear me? I am all powerful! Asa killen: so how have you been? White Dragon: not bad. im married now. Asa killen: Really? whos the luckey lady? White Dragon: youll never beleave it. Shadowy figure: listen to me fools I have won. White Dragon: I married Jamie. Asa killen: no ****en kidden but it dosent supprise me. White Dragon: really? Asa Killen: yeah you two were always an item. Shadowy figure: DAMMIT LISTEN TO ME! White Dragon: could you hold on for a second? Asa killen: sure. *Dragon walks over to the shadowy figure and slams his head agent the desk* Asa killen: so who are your friends. White Dragon: Insatiable Panda and special agent baiter. Asa killen: you always did hang with the weird croud. White Dragon: I hung with you. Asa killen: thats exactly what I mean. Shadowy figure: dammit you never paid attention to me even in high school. White Dragon: oh God not you. Karl: yes its me. White Dragon: NOOOO my reunion isent for 4 more years HELP ME SOMEONE!!111 Karl: you think youve won huh. well its not over yet there are powers working here that are higher than you can imagen. White Dragon: happy place go to a happy place. Insatiable Panda: listen I dont give a damn who you are or whats going on but you have my friend and I want him back. Karl: I have special plans for Pandawan he will be the one to revive my lord this goes much deeper than a simple kidnapping. Insatiable Panda: where is he. Karl: ill never tell. *baiter cocks his gun* Karl: in the closet at the other end of the hall cant miss it. White Dragon: lets get out of here before he starts talking about high school. Asa killen: no the reason im here is to kill him. White Dragon: im getting confused. Insatiable Panda: so kill him. Asa killen: dont you want to know why I want to. Insatiable Panda: why. Asa killen: I dont like him. Insatiable Panda: good enough for me. *meanwhile Pandawan is haveing lots of fun in his closet* Pandawan: I started a joke that got the whole world crying... *jamie opens the door* Jamie: so your the guy weve been looking for. Pandawan: hey uh...sweet thing. Jamie: oh jeese gimme a break. Pandawan: so you uh come here often. Jamie: just shut up and come on. *karl is begging for his life* Karl: My master will avenge me. White Dragon: yeah whatever. *Asa shoots Karl* Karl: OOOWWW OHH OW! you shot me you shot me in the arm. I am not dead but I am very badly injured do you have a band aid or neo sporin cream. *Asa shoots Karl again* Karl: OOOOWW you ass I hate you so much OW! *Asa shoots Karl...again* Karl:......... Insatiable Panda: moveing on. *Jamie walks in dragging Pandawan still tied in the chair* Pandawan: hey are you tierd cause youve been running through my mind all day. Jamie: Insatiable can you take care of your friend for me. Insatiable Panda: WAZZZAAAAAP! Pandawan: WAZZZAAAAAAP! White Dragon: WHAT ARE YOU DOING! All:..... White Dragon: What? Jamie: *ehem* White Dragon: JAMIE YOUR OK! I LOVE YOU!! *jamie and Dragon kiss* Pandawans heart: *CRACK* Pandawan: i...i thought we had something special. White Dragon: you dident kill the SWAT team did you? Jamie: naa I just dislocated some sholders. you know mild stuff. Insatiable Panda: well sence we got Pandawan then I guess were all done here. Special agent baiter: yes I must be getting back before they realise ive eaten the last doughnut. Pandawan: is someone going to untie me All: no White Dragon: well if you guys want to ever come over my door is always open...except for you asa your a psycho. Asa killen:....grrr. *2 weeks later at Dragons house* White Dragon: what do you mean you cant work the tv. Jamie: look all I want to do is play enter the matrix. White Dragon: its easy. look select the right input on the television which is video 3. then, input 2 on the receiver but thats only if you want sound. finally select input 4 on the component switcher. thats basicly it, I mean its only like 3 remotes. Jamie:.... White Dragon: uh...i love you THE END...or is it...no its not...at least I dont think so...no im not drunk shut up Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XERXES Posted October 8, 2003 Share Posted October 8, 2003 I just read that...I dont know why... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
topshot Posted October 8, 2003 Share Posted October 8, 2003 Hey, cool story! Everything was cool, except I don't know about the goat-killing part. Ah well, what the heck! 10/10 for awesome originality! So, how's everything going? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whitedragon Posted October 8, 2003 Author Share Posted October 8, 2003 Originally posted by topshot So, how's everything going? everythings going great. i love her so much i feel like those guys in the cheesy romance novels Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
topshot Posted October 8, 2003 Share Posted October 8, 2003 Well that's good to know. Any chances of my getting a few lines in the sequel to this story? (I'm guessing my chances are pretty slim, but ah well. Guess it's just the thought that counts.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whitedragon Posted October 8, 2003 Author Share Posted October 8, 2003 Originally posted by topshot Well that's good to know. Any chances of my getting a few lines in the sequel to this story? (I'm guessing my chances are pretty slim, but ah well. Guess it's just the thought that counts.) no havent even thought up the first line yet but in the mean time look at the preludes to the two spoofs im working ok know first a story set in fudal japan White Dragon presents "The Story that will ruin My Social Life" This story is baised on true events...no really they are *On a lone and dusty road a lone samurai walks with only his sword and a bag of chex mix by his side. this samurai has no name he is only known as THE WHITE DRAGON* *(theam song) here he comes, here comes speed racer, hes a demon on_* White Dragon: WRONG THEAM SONG DUMBASS! *music changes to "latin simone" by the gorillaz* White Dragon: now thats better. *meanwhile some ninjas are planning to jump Dragon* Ninja 1: so were supposed to kill this dude and take his sword and chex mix. sounds easy enough Ninja 2: whats the chex mix for? Ninja 1: im hungry now lets go! Ninja 3: hold on Ninja 2: what is it Ninja 3: dont you guys know that were not going to survive this encounter Ninja 1: oh come on we can take this guy hes only one man. Ninja 3: dont you guys watch anime. HIS NAME IS IN THE FREAKIN TITLE! Ninja 1: uh so we can kill him Ninja 3: hes gonna kill us Ninja 1:....kill him? Ninja 3: (slowly) we...gonna...die Ninja 1:.... Ninja 3:.... Ninja 2:.... Ninja 1: CHARGE Ninja 2: HOO RA Ninja 3: thats it i quit *the ninjas pop out and suprise Dragon* White Dragon: wow must be a circus in town or something Ninja 1: Prepair to die White Dragon White Dragon: CONGRADULATIONS!!! Ninja 2: for what? White Dragon: your the 1,000,000th person to say that to me Ninja 3: what did i tell you Ninja 1: ah but we are no ordinary warriors little Dragon we are all ninjas: THE AMAZEING NINJA TRIO *the ninjas form corny anime poses* Ninja: so you see you cant possibley_ *they look and see Dragon isent there. they turn around and see dragon walking away from them* Ninja 1: HEY *they run infront of dragon again* Ninja 1: HEY DONT WALK AWAY FROM ME THATS SO...RUDE!! White Dragon: oh sorry i thought you were finished Ninja 1: thought i was..GRRRR White Dragon: well hurry up with this "trying to kill me" thing, happy hour at matsukas tea hut is in 15 minuts *they all take out their wepons, but for the first time they notice that Dragon isent carrying a katana he has a boken, a wooden sword* Ninja 2: oh hes gonna kill us with the twig White Dragon: who said i was going to kill you *Dragon starts twirling his boken like a badass and the ninjas start to get nervous* Ninja 3: see i told you but NOOOOOO "we can take him" you said *dragon stops and looks at them with a grin and then...farts. all the ninjas start to giggle* White Dragon: (angry and embarrised) not...one...word! Ninja: ok lets get this clown *the ninjas run at dragon but suddenly grow woosy and pass out before they get to him* White Dragon: WOO WEE ive been holding that in for a long time second an ode to max payne *I walked into the best buy knowing this wouldent end well. the place was empty for everyone except one clerk* Clerk: how may i help you sir *she said in that robot souless voice that they seem to acuire on there first day at work. stareing into her eyes was like stareing into an empty chex mix bag on your computer desk that you had eaten the night before while watching die hard* Ian: can you tell me where jedi knight 3 is. *her fake grin widend like she just thought of a crule joke at my expence* Clerk: isle 3 next to serious sam *the joke was defenitly on me* Ian: NOOOOOOOOOOooooooooOOOOOOO!!! *they were gone, there was nothing i could do. i never knew there were so many starwars fans...i felt like shooting the **** out of something. two weeks later i started working at a local video game store h4X0rS kitchen where i got a strange phone call* Voice: hello do you know who this is. Ian: GOD!!? Voice: no this is your old pal jacob. i want you to meet me at your store. Ian: how do you know i work here. Voice: i have my connections but mostly because im standing right behind you. *jacob always was one for dramatics. he looked the same with his red headed curly hair that made him look like spike spiegal with glasses and hair dye* Jacob: when are you going to work for me Ian. *jacob was head of the SSS stoners secret service* Ian: youde probley put me in some hell hole and make me steal reefer everyday besides i cant i got a family to take care of. see last joint its bad for the baby *i put the joint out in a nearby ashtray* Jacob: uh you dont have a baby *i stupidly picked up the joint and lit it again* Jacob: well i guess ill see you later *jacob walked out the door and i went back to my work...someone has to play soulcalaber 2 while everyone works. later that day i got home to find my house empty. i dident like how the show started, i had gotten the best seat in the house, front row, center.* Ian: honey im home... *i saw a note on the table just sitting there. it almost looked hostle like watching a dark jedi look at you and twirl his lightsaber as he waits for you to make the first move. the note read as clear as day that i need to pay more attention* Jamies note: hey ian im at that concert with grecia ill be back at 12:00 tonite love you...dont tell me that you dont remember i told you last night...dont look at me its not my fault you cant remember...chear up ill bring you a souviner. *my wife thinks of everything.* Ian: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOO *cough chough....ehem* OOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOO!!! *i had a whole day ahead of me with nothing to do. JK3 was my last wepon in an endless battle for bordem, but i dident even have that. i again felt like shooting the **** out of something.* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
topshot Posted October 8, 2003 Share Posted October 8, 2003 Well, boring as it may seem, life's been dealing me the wrong cards. I'm in a jam with the self-proclaimed term known only as "Writer's/Animator's/Storyboard Artist's Block." Been tryin' to come up with my own little story and characters to go with it for a little project I'm working on using nothing but my good drawing skills and an easy Flash program from Coffee Cup. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whitedragon Posted October 8, 2003 Author Share Posted October 8, 2003 mabey you should take up bowling...j/k, but writers blocks totally suck. i hate it when i get them. the best remedy i have for that is to watch a bunch of movies and read a bunch of books untill you come up with a good idea. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elijah Posted October 8, 2003 Share Posted October 8, 2003 WOOT! Congrats dude! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crow_Nest Posted October 8, 2003 Share Posted October 8, 2003 Then marry her!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whitedragon Posted October 8, 2003 Author Share Posted October 8, 2003 Originally posted by |GG|Crow_Nest Then marry her!!! i have lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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