There's 7 possible headlines according to the game script. I've attached an animation of them:
"Rash of Cow Tipping Baffles Police" ..."Triangular Man Spotted at Scene"
"Froofroo Emerald Stolen!"..."Circular Prints Left Behind"
"Tentacle Rescues, Returns Emerald"..."Mayor Congratulates Purple Hero"
"Purple Tentacle is Man of the Year"..."Tentacle Visits White House"
"Tentacle to Run as GOP VP"..."Helms `Miffed`"
"President Ailing-- Tentacle Steps In"..."`I'm in Charge Here`"
"Tentacle Amends Constitution"..."Humans Now Slaves"
I dont see the Rush Limbaugh text unless its changed in the remastered version, I'm looking in the classic cd one here.