Burnseyy

As I said, I never got Mandalore to speak to me, much.

So, Revan was preparing for a war to happen? Or a great battle, at least?

That's strange, really. Bear in mind Revan's been in the Unknown Regions for over 4/5 years. What could he possibly have been doing all that time?

Why do you think Revan went alone, in the first place?

If he knew he couldn't make a difference, he would have brought companions or reinforcements. He remembered something - there's got to be more to remembering a 'nexus' than what he remembered.

Anyhow, the Exile probably couldn't understand how 1 person is better than 2 or more. There is no harm in taking more people, but Revan thinks there's a reason for not bringing more people.

Have we discussed that? To me it's an important part of the plot lol

I'm trying not to put too many ideas from my QFR into this story, so I can't put too much on the topic.

Ahh, good idea. But that would be cheating on Yuthura's behalf could that be exploited in future chapters? Like after she has gained all of this influence and presumably changed the order, they discover it was aallll a facade...

and I couldn't get Canderous in K2 to speak to me much... I never completed his quest either - I think I got a grand total of 2 groups of Mandalorians to go back to Dxun. But Canderous in K1 may well have been a novelist. Don't get me wrong, I love reading, but guh.

Well when they're discussing how to find the true sith/get rid of them, their ideas are polar opposites.

Or, Revan tells the Exile he could have 'done it himself, he didn't want help or to endanger more people.' whereas the Exile could say that she thinks 'having more people would strengthen their chances.'

Meh.

I don't blame her - I couldn't be in a war for 5 months either!

Maybe, if her 'goal' is to become greater than the council, she realises that she is similar to the council in the way that she doesn't like war/can't be in war. An idea.

What do you mean 'lead in her shadow'?

And a question - what exactly do you like about Canderous?

Haha I'm not up to that bit yet... ah well.

Canderous could say that, but it'd make matters worse for Yuthura.

There's a cure for a slap in the face - and that's an even bigger slap in the face. Maybe Ross could step in for a bit.

If you're stuck... think about what else is going on around her. Like in real life, if something goes wrong, you can't just stop, you need to carry on - life doesn't pause.

Hope that helps.

You should drink tea - does wonders, I tell ya'.

I agree, and after everything Revan's been through I doubt he'd want to be around anyone/controlled again. So he's being coerced into working with people, but wants to take the lead at least. Kind of like Bastila at the start of K1.

Exile, being bitter won't be standing for any of it though.

I'm planning on staying up all night. For once, I don't want to sleep.

And yes, they are both leaders, but different people. This could also bring a division between their friends, too, if it comes to it. Might even make room for a problem at the end, due to a lack of trust between both groups.

Eurgh, Mcdonalds in America gave me the worst indigestion EVER. Didn't help I had to walk up the empire state building... it was painful lol

Really, they hate the Americans too?! They hate the English! French people hate English too, but that's just cause we owned them in the French Revolution, teehee. I don't think many people like the English - apparently we're posh, stuck up, too reserved. Bleh, I bet I sound DEAD english to you though... even people in Manchester (common area) call me posh. I'm not, just because I know words longer than 'and' doesn't mean I'm posh...

Did you read the bit I put on K3 about concept art? I thought a few sketches would be useful, you?

I'm writing for Mira, Bao-Dur and Bastila I think? :l you and DY have more characters than me haha. It'd be cool if I could write for Revan. I wanted to write for Mission, but I didn't think she was going to be in it much, so I gave her away.

Besides, Mira and Mission are just basically twins, except ones blue. >_>;

Can't you just see it? A documentary titled: "Atris - A nightmare?"

I always hated Spanish, Spain, the food from Spain. I can't stay there a week, nevermind 5. I hate being in those kind of places for too long - I go insane, get bored, resort to the computer - a girl needs excitement in her life!

And I know what you mean this fic, if we go through with it, is going to be awesome. I can just picture it all. ee. What characters are you writing for? Atton, Dustil...

bleh, dodgy foreign keyboards - there's always symbols that don't make sense, and the shift button may as well not be there...

I've been good. Had a mid-teen crisis 16 is such an annoying age, ey? ps. our birthdays are close to each other! Just thought I'd say.

I guess that is true.

Oh, sorry. I forgot that not everyone is immune to sleep like me lol.

I put myself in their shoes, but I hate admitting emotion. Maybe that's why I take to Mira, she's kind of like that, I think.

I didn't want to see Trevelyan give in, during that argument lol

I think that he should get the memories, but change, like he predicted... that would make Yuthura see that she can be mistaken... maybe forcing her opinion on someone reminds her of certain Jedi - the Council

but that's just a suggestion, if you'll take it, or were already planning it.

:x

Symptoms of fear like... tapping feet, biting nails, fidgeting, basically people must think I'm constantly scared because I fidget. A lot. Anyway...

Yeah, I tried to describe the raw feeling of pain, in my last QFR chapter, where Mira mentions Brianna... I once had a bad argument with an ex-boyfriend, and I went dizzy, my head started spinning - thought I was going to faint or something. It seemed dramatic, and I tried to integrate that into that scene... obviously, I don't think I did so well.

Good to know I got half of it!

I suppose if I was an ex-Sith Lord I'd feel pretty self-inflated, and being looked down upon by a follower would feel demeaning, too...

I imagine, also, that he would have felt frustrated in the sense that Yuthura didn't understand that if the Dark Lord's memories were to return, he would change.

That's actually a scary thought lol

Oh I get that - if there's one emotion I truly get, it's guilt. When I'm trying to do emotional scenes (though you haven't really seen much emotion from my stories yet) I remember experiences I've had, and blow them up into a big exaggeration.

I fainted in NY once, because I hadn't slept for 2 1/2 days, and my body was full with caffine. You know what I thought when I woke up? "Yes, now I know how to describe fainting." lol

I guess... when I'm feeling emotional, I repeat things a lot in my head, so when I'm trying to write emotional pieces, I repeat words, sentences, ideas. I use simple words, because they're more direct. I've written in chapter 2 of The Huntress about Mira's family, and I used that. Do you use something similar?

How I see your Revan:

Started out the carer, now he's the cared-for. What I saw with that change and outburst was Revan had lost all grasp on Yuthura, and kicking her out was yes, annoyance at her nonchalant attitude, but also that he felt surpassed, in a way.

Whether that was your intention or not, I like it.

I have outbursts like that - I keep emotions quiet, and then the slightest trivial thing really gets to me.

Oh I know the 'overboard' problem all too well. I didn't think you had... but I know what it's like when you look over your work, and you say something like... 'what the hell was I thinking?'

Don't. I thought your description of emotion was fine. And you don't need many details for the story to sound enriched - you're saying I use a lot of it, but I don't need it all. If you're impatient with consistent detail, just add one extra word to a sentence, or paragraph. One extra description. You'll find it goes a long way.

I've never really have someone study my stories before - most I usually get is 'well done' or 'yay i liked it'. Thank you.

And I get emotion. I understand it very well... I just find it difficult to explain. I'm very like that in real life, I guess it just shows in my story writing. That's part of writing The Huntress - a younger, more vulnerable side of Mira, and quite a few problems on her plate. Perfect opportunity.

I really loved the scene where Revan chucked Yuthura out of the bedroom that bit stood out, well.

Yeah I get what you mean.

Our teachers always told us 'when you're describing, use all 5 senses.' I usually always forget the sense of smell though.

Funny thing was, for everyone else, they used a very structural, logical approach to description, whereas I ignored everything the teacher said, and did my own thing. She probably thought I was an ignorant fool.

That aside, if I were describing the Katarr scene, I'd mention:

How she was meditating, like the sound of her breathing

the debris

the sky colour, kind of like if it reflected the ground.

The lack of movement in the area - just silent, stillness.

That's how I see it.

Yeah, I can see similarities with yours and machievelli's style, actually. My english teacher always told me my style was unique I just write what comes to mind.

I imagine complicated surroundings before I write - don't you?

Hello there

And no I'm not annoyed, but glad someone's actually looked at the story in detail and I'm complimented too. I'm not too good with compliments, mind, so don't think I'm being self centred and not saying much about your fiction. ^^;

Why I want to be a writer? It is half of that, but I have this silly illusion that I can make a difference to the world if I do it. lol. Probably won't happen, but y'know.

ps. sorry if you'd rather not continue the conversation.

In response to your comment on QFR - I actually saw a lot of mistakes with the last chapter. I'd hardly call it 'perfected' lol.

Well murphy's law is very true lol

I like to call it irony, but what ever!

life's just out to test you, you've just got to have a witty come back at the ready.