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The Grim Fandango Player Diary


Yufster

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Dear Diary,

 

I read the Designer Diary and it was great. I just wondered how it would sound coming from a Player. I mean, like, a player diary. So this is it. The Grim Fandango Player Dairy.

 

On Monday, I got Grim Fandango. I nearly died. It took ages to fully install. Anyway, on the first day I stayed up wayyy to late, trying figure out how to reduce the air pressure on that Memo machine. Now I'm in the Petrified Forest. I got Glottis his heart back. I'm having fun. I'm loving it. Oh, I also went on a high and sent this weird email off to Double Fine and then wrote love poems about Grim Fandango and pestered people about stuff and everything. I have not eaten. So far, I am loving all the characters, ESPECIALLY Manny.

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Post May Contain Spoilers.

 

Well, there was this one Wheelbarrow Puzzle that everybody was moaning about... one guy said he would kill Tim Schafer for designing such a puzzle... but I had it worked out in like five minutes. It was simple! But then I got stuck with this signpost. See, I figured out that the signpost tells me where to go. Well, here's the thing. While I try figure out this puzzle, you can laugh at me.

 

So the signpost spins. It tells me where to go. Doesn't take a genius to figure that much out. Or does it? Is the signpost lying? Because it seems pretty adamant about which direction I should go. The same direction, all the time, even if I've GONE in that direction. I tried picking it up and carrying it with me through those little tunnels. It's not funny any more. I want to cry. I could only imagine such a twisted puzzle could come from the mind of a delusion heretic on the sort of illegal drugs that 'only edgy people take'. The sort of guy who may have assumed the identity of a game programmer after running after him in his car, because he couldn't bear to tell his mother.

 

Five Minutes Later

 

Uhhhhhhhawaa waaaa wahhhh.

 

Five Minutes Later, Again

 

I think it's trying to tell us something, Julian!

 

Five Minutes Later some More, 15 Minutes in Total

 

What the HELL is WRONG with this SIGNPOST???? WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME.

 

20 minutes later

 

I am lining an envelope with a dangerous substance. It is to be sent via Swift Air Mail to Double Fine Productions in San Francisco.

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That was DUMB. That was the ultimate in deception. That was worse than the rubber chicken with the pulley in the middle, almost. All those tunnels and.... ack! I hate it! I love it! Stupid, Wonderful, Beautiful, Awful game!!!!

 

I am no longer stuck.

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Oh but it IS interesting to watch me yoyo from joyous to deep depression over a video game!!!

 

Discuss all you want. Mock me! Mislead me! I refuse to use walkthroughs or take hints! I am ... The....

 

Well, I won't say it here.

 

PS. Meche!

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Ugh I am so stuck! I just got a photo of cats racing. It's a clue. I don't think it's the photo that Lola wants me to show Olivia, for the simple fact that Manny doesn't think showing it to Olivia is a clever idea. I have no idea what to use my stupid goddamn metal detector on, so I'll prolly find something later. Stupid goddamn! And what's with the poetry? Do I have to solve the poetry puzzle? I hear drumbeats. When I say certain stuff. There must be a pattern! Maybe I'll get around to that later. What do I do with this picture?! I've shown it to goddamn EVERYBODY. Oh curses, CURSES Rubecava!

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Dude, that was DUMB. Why didn't I figure that out like 100 hours ago? Anyway, now I'm trying to get Glottis to get his damn ass out of that chair. C'mon Glottis! We're SO NEARLY THERE.

 

Oh I love life.

 

Oh, yeah, I have a new favourite part:

MANNY: I came for Charlies money.

MAX: Ha Ha Ha!

MANNY: HA HA HA!

MAX: HA HA HA!

MANNY: HA HA HA! No, seriously. He says you have a lot of it.

MAX: I do. But it's not his! Ha Ha Ha!

MANNY: Ha Ha Ha!... Hooo.

 

 

PS. Has anybody noticed that Manny seems to hate mice, cats, and does yoyo tricks... just like Schafer?

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Oh.

 

My.

 

God.

 

Was that the end?

 

What just hit me?

 

Well, I guess at least he eventually got off with the girl.

 

Sort of.

 

In the most subtly implied manner possible.

 

But... Glottis...

 

And what about CD 2? There was another CD!!!

 

I never used CD 2!!!

 

Oh wait... I used full install.

 

There must be more.

 

There has to be.

 

If I shake the CD, something will fall out. Something new. I bet.

 

It's not coming out.

 

It's really over.

 

It's really completely over.

 

...Hey... I have arms... and legs!

 

Maybe I should... do something.

 

Oh, hey, I have skin.

 

I never really noticed that before.

 

Hey, everybody in my house has skin.

 

That's not right, is it?

 

Where's Manny?

 

MANNY?!??

 

GLOTTIS?!?!?!?!?

 

Guys, you have to help me. Manny and Glottis have gone missing. I think they were like right here a second ago. Maybe they went to get coffee.

 

I'll wait here for a while until he comes back up here, okay?

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IT'S REALLY OVER!!!!

 

BUT I'D ONLY JUST STARTED PLAYING.

 

Oh my GOD.

 

WHAT AM I GONNA DO?! MANNY ISN'T EVEN A REAL PERSON. FOR THIS PAST WEEK HE'S BEEN SO REAL. I DON'T THINK I CAN TAKE THIS ANY MORE. I HAVE TO HACK MY SKIN OFF SOMEHOW. IF I HACK OFF MY SKIN, EVERYTHING WILL BE BETTER. CHECK OUT MY BONE SAW, KIDDIES!!! WHERE'S MY HACKER BLADE. THE ONE I'M GONNA HACK OF MY SKIN WITH. DO I GET A COMPLIMENTARY MUG, MR CALAVERA?

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You didn't acutally pull the download/10 dollars in the mail bit, did you?

 

 

 

Hehe.

 

 

I'm just starting off the adventure, too. I have intersession in school all this week, and will have nothing to do but play games.

 

 

I'm so excited I'm giddy.

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For four years now I've danced the darkest tango,

Mostly because it rhymes with 'Fandango'.

I've had over 1400 days to ponder this rhyme,

But this is the best I can think of at this time.

No thanks to no good low life commissions like yours,

Menso.

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