tk102 Posted December 2, 2004 Share Posted December 2, 2004 Four engineers were sitting around one day trying to figure out who might have designed the human body. The first fellow said, "I think it might be a Mechanical Engineer, because of joints and muscle and sense of balance." The other three nodded their heads and said, "Yeah, could be." The second fellow said, "I think it might be an Electrical Engineer, because of the nervous system and neural network." The other three nodded their heads and said, "Yeah, could be." The third fellow said, "I think it might be a Chemical Engineer, because of hormonal balances and metabolism." The other three nodded their heads and said, "Yeah, could be." The fourth fellow snaps his fingers and shouts out, "I know, it HAD to have been a Civil engineer!" The other three ask "Why?" "Well," replied the fourth fellow, "who else would put a waste water drainage right through a recreational area?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hannibal Posted December 2, 2004 Share Posted December 2, 2004 Originally posted by tk102 Straight out of college I knew I was brainwashed when I found myself considering the differential equation required to calculate the amount of time to barbecue my steak so that the inside would reach 150°F. (Is it a cylinder or rectangle?) I had that college brainwash problem when I took physics. I'd find myself on elevators judging my weight and distance traveled trying to figure out how fast it was travelling. School makes you so geeky. But it also can increase your salary. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PoM Posted December 2, 2004 Share Posted December 2, 2004 A college brainwash problem? I am brainwashed! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChAiNz.2da Posted December 3, 2004 Share Posted December 3, 2004 Originally posted by tk102 And Chainz, I own that shirt. Dude, you get +20 extra kewl points for owning that shirt! plus an extra +10 if you've caught people staring mindlessly at it trying to figure it out ---------------------------- Star Wars Geek Humor Luke: "You used to program?" Ben: "I was once a software engineer the same as your father." Luke: "My father wasn't a software engineer. He was a custodian at Lockheed-Martin." Ben: "That's what your Uncle told you. He didn't hold with your father's ideals. He thought he should go to work. Not gotten a degree." Luke: "I wish I had known him." Ben: "He was a cunning object-oriented analyst, and the best systems programmer in the galaxy. I understand you've become quite a good hacker yourself. And he was a good friend. For over ten years the systems programmers created user interfaces. Before the dark times. Before Microsoft." Luke: "How did my father die?" Ben: "A young systems programmer named Bill Gates, who was a student until his mommy kicked him out of her basement, founded Microsoft and helped destroy the intuitive user interface. He betrayed and murdered the Macintosh. Gates was seduced by the Dark Side of Money." Luke: "Money?" Ben: "Yes, Money is what gives a programmer his resources. It's an exchange system created by human beings. It surrounds us. Works for us. Binds the economy together. Which reminds me. Your father wanted you to have this when you were old enough, but your Uncle wouldn't allow it. He thought you'd follow old Obi-Wan on some damn idealistic crusade." Luke: "What is it?" Ben: "It's an object modeling tool. The weapon of a systems programmer. Not as random or clumsy as a lexical parser. An elegant compiler for a more civilized age." Joke Source Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stingerhs Posted December 3, 2004 Share Posted December 3, 2004 now, i'm not really sure you could classify this one as a truely 'geek' joke, but college football fans can be just as bad sometimes. now, you could use any college football rivalry you want, but since i'm from south carolina, i'll use the clemson and u of s. carolina rivalry. ________ There was once an american sniper team sent behind enemy lines. While spotting out an enemy camp, a small patrol caught them and hauled them away. Fortunately for them, their captors didn't believe in torture. However, the lead captor decided that it would be too much trouble to guard, feed, and shelter them. So, he ordered them to be executed by firing squad on two consecutive days. Well, the two prisoners were being kept in two cells right next to each other. Now, despite being a sniper team, they knew very little about each other except that they were in the Army together. So, they got to talking, and as it turned out, they were both from South Carolina. One of them was a Clemson fan, and the other was a S. Carolina fan. They started talking about some of the old classic football games, and they came to the concensus that it was a shame they had never met before. It was the night before the first execution, and they're captors dedided to execute the S. Carolina fan first. He started thinking a bit, and he said,"Oh, I've got it all figured out. I'm going to get away." The Clemson fan was curious and requested to watch the execution. The captors agreed to do so. So, the next morning, the S. Carolina fan was led out to a small field and placed in front of the squad. He elected not to be blindfolded, and stared straight at the squad. They then counted down to firing, "3,2,1.." "EARTHQUAKE!!!!" the S. Carolina fan yelled out. The whole squad paused and looked around. In the confusion, the S. Carolina fan ran off and got away. After the incident, the Clemson fan started thinking about it in his cell. He knew that he couldn't repeat the same strategy that the S. Carolina fan had used. Finally, he got himself a plan and fell asleep. The next morning, the Clemson fan was led out in front of the firing squad. He also elected not to have the blindfold. So, the squad leader counted down, "3,2,1..." The Clemson fan then yelled,"FIRE!!!!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PoM Posted December 22, 2004 Share Posted December 22, 2004 Originally posted by starmark2k 2)what dose a bell and benzoic acid have in common They both ring (you proberly need a higher education award in chemistry to get that 1) Uhh, i guessed that one might be funny, but i am confused as hell, so can anyone tell me the point? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChAiNz.2da Posted December 23, 2004 Share Posted December 23, 2004 Originally posted by Piece of metal Uhh, i guessed that one might be funny, but i am confused as hell, so can anyone tell me the point? Benzoic Acid's Chemical Formula (diagram) forms a "ring". It's a carboxyl group bonded directly to benzene ring. see pic Take a close look next time you use mouthwash or a 'whitening' toothpaste, you're getting a mouthful of weak acid....Oh yeah, you can find benzoic acid in a Beaver's scent gland. Think on that...(could explain the taste...ick )... (^^ just one of the 'nifty' facts my chemistry teacher shouldn't have shared with the group..hehe) when converted to it's salts, they use it as a food preservative...but only in .1% concentration, because it's quite poisonous.. food for thought... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarthTDe Posted January 9, 2005 Share Posted January 9, 2005 You might be a redneck Jedi if you've ever used the force to pop open a beer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandalorian X Posted January 14, 2005 Share Posted January 14, 2005 Well this is a happening board Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragonball Fan Posted January 14, 2005 Share Posted January 14, 2005 damm str8, homez. I love redneck jokes, so here: If you've ever had to use the force to turn on the TV (which is two feet away from you). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarthTDe Posted January 15, 2005 Share Posted January 15, 2005 Originally posted by Piece of metal *waiting for someone to say that mandalorian joke from kotor* *Hint hint* Two Mandalorians are walking in the woods.And they're partners.Well,one of them collapses,and the other one picks up his comlink and calls the commander."commander?My partner just collapsed!He might be dead!" "Okay...First,make sure he's dead"*the commander hears blaster shots."yeah,he's dead.what now?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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