Hallucination Posted November 18, 2005 Share Posted November 18, 2005 The wise words of Hallucination who just made his 1000 post!!! YAY I'm wise! @John Skywalker: I don't have much (good) advice, but if you need any I always share it. @Everyine: PM me suggestions for a custom title please. I was gonna be King of Costaguatamexorico but it didn't fit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Skywalker Posted November 26, 2005 Author Share Posted November 26, 2005 sorry i havent posted lately guys ive bin a bit busy but dont worry the next chapter should be up in the week Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Skywalker Posted November 29, 2005 Author Share Posted November 29, 2005 Sorry i havent updated quickly but i wanted to take my time on this chapter(thanks again for the advice Hallucination ) and so i present to you chapter 5!!!!! Chapter 5 The lower levels of Coruscant was'nt a pleasant place at all and John often compared the smell to Bantha fodder. Although John disliked this place his master had taught him to keep allies everywhere as they may be of use in the future. John had a good freind in the lower levels, he had helped John out when he was ten and they had been freinds ever since, his name was Bugs and he was a Dug, John had realised that Bugs was the friendliest Dug he had layed eyes on. John stopped outside Bugs' shop and felth through the force to see if he was in, the force told John he was, so he opened the door and walked inside. Bugs was busy fixing an information droid and didnt notice John come in, John had realised this so he snuck up on Bugs and scared him. Bugs jumped but realising it was John behind him when he turned around he gave a big smile and said, "Johnny boy, you scared me there, long time no see eh?" "Yea well I've been busy you know training and stuff, how have you been old freind", John said, hugging him "I've been well my young freind...what brings you here today?", Bugs asked "I was wondering if you got the parts for my droid buzz" "Ah yes i have the droid gun and the defensive shield, you take great care in that cockpit droid", Bugs said amused "Well if it's improved it has more value for me to sell it", John lied he loved this droid it was his best freind since the person he had never heard from or talked to for six years, she was the reason why he had kept the droid for this long, they stole the droid together however Sidious had opposed to this as he said Sith cannot be passionate to others and that involved love. Bugs handed John the part's and put them in his bag,"thank you Bugs", John said with a smile, he started walking to the door when bugs called to him, "Please John why dont you stay for dinner", John reluctantly agreed with this he could'nt put his old freind down. Haven eaten a bit at Bugs' shop John took a taxi back up to the well known areas of Coruscant, he breathed in the smell of engines with relief, he liked the smell far better than that of the lower levels. John went to the Senate chamber so he could see his master lay the law down to fellow Senators. Master Sidious had a dual identity, he had told John of how much corruption there is in the Senate and so he went undercover as a politician but luck was on his side as he moved up the ranks quickly and finally became Supreme Chancellor. John walked into the hall which was totally deserted, he realised what day it was, im getting my first mission today!!!!, he thought to himself and started sprinting off to the Chancellors apartment. John rushed in and saw Sidious looking out his window in his black robe with his black hood on just like he always was. "Ah my boy,your late, but your here now so take a seat", Sidious said this with concern in his voice. John took a seat immediately, "Sorry Master", John said "Dont worry John onto business now, I have your first assignment" "Thank you Master, what do you need doing", John said feeling very excited. "There are a group of non-humans posing a threat to us i need this group wiped out i have all the information about them on this Holopad", Sidous turned around and gave the pad to John who was curious about something, "But Master if they are'nt humans then what are they". Sidious gave the smile he had been giving John for the past six years the fatherly comforting smile and then said, "They are a group of Wookies" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JediKnight707 Posted November 30, 2005 Share Posted November 30, 2005 Good job, keep it up, I like it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vladimir-Vlada Posted November 30, 2005 Share Posted November 30, 2005 'A Group of Wookies'... Hmmm, who could it be? Excllent work by the way. for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Skywalker Posted December 1, 2005 Author Share Posted December 1, 2005 thanks for the comments @ Jedi knight ill only keep my work coming if you keep yours coming aswell:). @ Vladimir all im saying is John will face his toughest test yet!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hallucination Posted December 2, 2005 Share Posted December 2, 2005 Great work John! Keep it up! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Skywalker Posted December 2, 2005 Author Share Posted December 2, 2005 thanks for the comment hallucination:) and you better keep your work coming jedi knight!!!!!!!!! lol just jokin:) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liit Orda Posted December 2, 2005 Share Posted December 2, 2005 I'm impressed so far man, it's good stuff Keep it up, I'd like to read more Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Skywalker Posted December 2, 2005 Author Share Posted December 2, 2005 thanks liit orda your comments are really appreciated here:) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vladimir-Vlada Posted December 4, 2005 Share Posted December 4, 2005 How is it progressing? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Skywalker Posted December 4, 2005 Author Share Posted December 4, 2005 its progressing far Vladimir i think so far so good:) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Skywalker Posted December 5, 2005 Author Share Posted December 5, 2005 I made chapter six and chapter 5 at about the same time but i thought i would space them apart and make you lot wait:) its really a prologue to chapter 7 so its a bit short FEEDBACK PLEASE!!!!!!! Chapter Six John's eyes widened and fear crept into his soul. "W-Wookies Master? how can i kill them? I dont have a lightsaber." "Be not afraid and and use your anger and then you can do anything Padawan....your special", Sidious said trying to comfort John, it helped him a little bit but just a little, "I will take this assignment and i will kill all these wookies for our cause Master" "Good, and if you do this matter you will be given your lightsaber", Sidious smiled. After seeing the Holocron and other neccessary facts about the Wookies John went to his room to upgrade his droid Buzz. The cockpit droid had been heavily updraded it had a Holocron of a young John to talk and it also was a translator,and a heat radar to sense who and what was near. John worked on the droid for a while and it did not take him that long to fit the two new pieces to the droid, he was so good at fixing things Sidious had told him. John turned buzz on. "The holocron is in your system Buzz their in the lower levels,i hate it there,anyway well be going there for a duration of a month Master has already arranged accomodation we will be staying with Bugs", John said "I do hope we dont stay down there to long Master,they will try to steal my parts", Buzz said, John had regretted in some ways giving the droid much intelligence but it was as loyal as he was to his Master, "Well Buzz you do now have an energy shield and laser gun nobody will try", John answered and he got his bags and put on his cloak, then him and bugs walked out of his room going to bid Sidious farewell. As John and Buzz were going to his Masters room an old man came out walking past and not even glancing at John he had a smile on his face, John didnt like the look of him and when he got inside his Master greeted him, "So may the force be with you on your first assignment alone my young padawan", he said smiling "Thank you Master, may i ask who that man was that just came out", John asked curiously "Yes that man is helping our cause his name is Count Dooku,thats all you need to now because you need to get going." "Yes Master", John said turning and walking out, "I will be back as fast as I can". And as John left Sidious smiled to himself, this will show how much power he has, he thought. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Skywalker Posted December 6, 2005 Author Share Posted December 6, 2005 will i get any feedback people!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RC-1162 Posted December 6, 2005 Share Posted December 6, 2005 one word: AWESOME!!!! damn, youre great. now, wheres the edit sig button?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Skywalker Posted December 6, 2005 Author Share Posted December 6, 2005 WAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAY Im in RC's sig and thank you for the comments its totally appreciated dude:) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RC-1162 Posted December 6, 2005 Share Posted December 6, 2005 i never knew you guys valued my recommendation so much, im honoured keep up Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Skywalker Posted December 9, 2005 Author Share Posted December 9, 2005 Your recommendation means so much because your an awesome writer RC:) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JediKnight707 Posted December 10, 2005 Share Posted December 10, 2005 i never knew you guys valued my recommendation so much, im honoured keep up I take no higher honor than being in your sig *salutes* Nice chapter John! Keep it up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (thats fifty-one exclamation points) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alkonium Posted December 10, 2005 Share Posted December 10, 2005 I take no higher honor than being in your sig *salutes* Nice chapter John! Keep it up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (thats fifty-one exclamation points) And I'm not mentioned in it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RC-1162 Posted December 10, 2005 Share Posted December 10, 2005 time will tell, dude. and guys, i honor ForceFightWMe12's opinions much more about my fics since she is the: QUEEN OF LUCASFORUMS FANFICS!!*thunder gets pissed off at rumbling so much and slaps RC across the face* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Skywalker Posted December 12, 2005 Author Share Posted December 12, 2005 Well guys its that time of day, i bring you chapter 7!!! FEEDBACK PLEASE!!!!! Chapter 7 John stood on Bugs pateo one with the force,feeling his surroundings. It seemed that his targets were in the lower parts of Coruscant which made John shudder, he was sick of this place after just one day. He had already planned out what he would do in order to kill these Wookies quickly, he would pick them off one by one, he didnt want to fight them all at once since without a lightsaber he was outnumbered. While John was still meditatng he sensed a worthless being next to him and knew who it was immediately, "Bugs why are you disturbing me?", John asked annoyed, Bugs was somewhat surprised that John had known of his presence even when he had his back to him. "I was wondering if you are ready to travel to your first target while he is still alone Sir", Bugs replied "Yes we will be going after Montu he is the weakest of them all", John smiled, praising his own cunning. After John and Bugs had breakfast(Buzz had set himself on charge)they set off to find the wherabouts of Montu. John was reaching into the force, asking it to help guide him to where he wanted to go. They had been searching for about an hour when John picked up on something. "The force is telling me Montu is in there i can sense how weak he is", John said pointing at a cave entrance, and motioning to buzz to make sure he was right. Buzz used his heat sensor to scan the cave, he finished and said, "It appears a Wookie is in there Master." "Thank you Buzz im going to sort this one out alone, ill call you on radio if i need help", John told his companions, picking up a baster pistol, a plasma rifle and putting a grenade in his pocket, he felt he needed it somehow. He nodded at his droid and his freind and then starte descending into the cave. The cave was murky and dirty and John clutched his rifle tightly. Even though he was fifthteen his training had taught him to embrace his fear in these situations. John came to a dead end and then he realised, he couldnt believe that he didnt foresee it, he got on his radio and shouted, "IT'S A TR-", he could'nt finish his sentence as the Wookie hit him in the stomach and all his breath left his lungs. "Master come in......Master!", Buzz called on his inbuilt comlink but there was no answer. "We're going to have to g in Buzz", Bugs said and he started getting his weapons ready. Montu was relentless and was trying to kill John, but John was now asking the force to guide him through the Wookie's lunging fists. John saw the oppurtunity and swung at the Wookie his fist hit the face of Montu but he was to fast and took Johns arm and bent it the opposite way its supposed to bend. "Aaaaaaaaaahhh", John screamed he knew it had broken, John fell to the floor clutching his arm,how could this have happened?, he asked himself still in agony,im a Sith im better than this pathetic Wookie. But before he could get back up the Wookie picked him up and threw him into the wall, and John lay dazed the force keeping him in consciouness. Montu took out a holocron receiver and the hologram of another Wookie came up and they started conversing in Wookie language. Montu seemed to be telling the hologramed Wookie about Johns presence, John knew he had been set up and if he survived today they would be after him in a matter of days. John sensed that the calvalry was coming in a minute and the force told him to act now, so he forget about his broken arm and gave himself to the force fully. Not thinking he started running at the Wookie but wen he got close the Wookie turned off his holocron and grabbed John by the neck lifting him up, increasing the pressure on his neck. But John knew that buzz had been given time and launched his tazer contraptionwas being zapped rapidly and also couldnt move it was also screaming. John pulled out his grenade activated it and put it into Montu's mouth he the smiled at the Wookie waved goodbye and ran for cover. The wookies head exploded. John looked up "Well that was a blast". Bugs helped him into the hover vehicle they had rented and john said, "My hand is broken when we get back put me on your medbay table Bugs" "yes Sir", bugs replied "We must now move quickly if we are to kill them all now", John told them "Why is that Master?", Buzz said "Simply because someone has given us away to that Wooki and he told his leader about us to, they'll be on the lookout." And with that they left the place, and were speeding back to Bugs' shop. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Skywalker Posted December 12, 2005 Author Share Posted December 12, 2005 Well guys its that time of day, i bring you chapter 7!!! FEEDBACK PLEASE!!!!! Chapter 7 John stood on Bugs pateo one with the force,feeling his surroundings. It seemed that his targets were in the lower parts of Coruscant which made John shudder, he was sick of this place after just one day. He had already planned out what he would do in order to kill these Wookies quickly, he would pick them off one by one, he didnt want to fight them all at once since without a lightsaber he was outnumbered. While John was still meditatng he sensed a worthless being next to him and knew who it was immediately, "Bugs why are you disturbing me?", John asked annoyed, Bugs was somewhat surprised that John had known of his presence even when he had his back to him. "I was wondering if you are ready to travel to your first target while he is still alone Sir", Bugs replied "Yes we will be going after Montu he is the weakest of them all", John smiled, praising his own cunning. After John and Bugs had breakfast(Buzz had set himself on charge)they set off to find the wherabouts of Montu. John was reaching into the force, asking it to help guide him to where he wanted to go. They had been searching for about an hour when John picked up on something. "The force is telling me Montu is in there i can sense how weak he is", John said pointing at a cave entrance, and motioning to buzz to make sure he was right. Buzz used his heat sensor to scan the cave, he finished and said, "It appears a Wookie is in there Master." "Thank you Buzz im going to sort this one out alone, ill call you on radio if i need help", John told his companions, picking up a baster pistol, a plasma rifle and putting a grenade in his pocket, he felt he needed it somehow. He nodded at his droid and his freind and then starte descending into the cave. The cave was murky and dirty and John clutched his rifle tightly. Even though he was fifthteen his training had taught him to embrace his fear in these situations. John came to a dead end and then he realised, he couldnt believe that he didnt foresee it, he got on his radio and shouted, "IT'S A TR-", he could'nt finish his sentence as the Wookie hit him in the stomach and all his breath left his lungs. "Master come in......Master!", Buzz called on his inbuilt comlink but there was no answer. "We're going to have to g in Buzz", Bugs said and he started getting his weapons ready. Montu was relentless and was trying to kill John, but John was now asking the force to guide him through the Wookie's lunging fists. John saw the oppurtunity and swung at the Wookie his fist hit the face of Montu but he was to fast and took Johns arm and bent it the opposite way its supposed to bend. "Aaaaaaaaaahhh", John screamed he knew it had broken, John fell to the floor clutching his arm,how could this have happened?, he asked himself still in agony,im a Sith im better than this pathetic Wookie. But before he could get back up the Wookie picked him up and threw him into the wall, and John lay dazed the force keeping him in consciouness. Montu took out a holocron receiver and the hologram of another Wookie came up and they started conversing in Wookie language. Montu seemed to be telling the hologramed Wookie about Johns presence, John knew he had been set up and if he survived today they would be after him in a matter of days. John sensed that the calvalry was coming in a minute and the force told him to act now, so he forget about his broken arm and gave himself to the force fully. Not thinking he started running at the Wookie but when he got close the Wookie turned off his holocron and grabbed John by the neck lifting him up, increasing the pressure on his neck. But John knew that he had given buzz time and launched his tazer contraption at Montu. Montu was being zapped rapidly and also couldnt move it was also screaming. John pulled out his grenade activated it and put it into Montu's mouth he the smiled at the Wookie waved goodbye and ran for cover. The wookies head exploded. John looked up "Well that was a blast". Bugs helped him into the hover vehicle they had rented and john said, "My hand is broken when we get back put me on your medbay table Bugs" "Yes Sir", bugs replied "We must now move quickly if we are to kill them all now", John told them "Why is that Master?", Buzz said "Simply because someone has given us away to that Wookie and he told his leader about us to, they'll be on the lookout." And with that they left the place, and were speeding back to Bugs' shop. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vladimir-Vlada Posted December 12, 2005 Share Posted December 12, 2005 Nice work. for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JediKnight707 Posted December 18, 2005 Share Posted December 18, 2005 Good work (sorry, I didn't realize that you had updated) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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