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[Fic] Star Wars:The Beginning.


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Love the battle scenes, love imagining just what Breia's going to do next, love the kids wreaking havoc throughout the ship as the crew can only react. Using the crates as a countermeasure was a nice touch. Good to know the missiles weren't heat seakers or Sanji would have been screwed.

Humor mode way, way, way on: You have this thing for poop, apparently. :D

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Humor mode way, way, way on: You have this thing for poop, apparently. :D
Hey! This could become machievelli's trademark. Any story he writes would have at least one encounter with excrement, heh-heh-heh. ;)

 

Wonderful detail with the weapon descriptions. Some of it I didn't really understand though. And I enjoy how you've got the Mando teens, Breia, and Sanji and company all in the mix. Very entertaining, to say the least.

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Heh, nice plot twists. I love it.

The dress description was cool. I might have found a different euphemism ('crotch' just was a little too jarring--the word itself doesn't bug me, it was just its juxtaposition with such a lovely dress description), though 'nether regions' is just way too 'bodice-ripper novel'-ish. :)

I hope Corona gets taken down good....I'll be interested to see what Dasa does--he seems to be headed for a conflict himself.

I have great faith in the ability of Breia et al to find some truly creative way of extricating themselves from this situation and implicating Corona with the Echani gun no less.

 

Sorry about the crotch. It was flowing well and you guys are seeing it as it is written with little or no editing. I changed the phrase to 'her privates' describing both regions.

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Wow Mach, these last three chapters left me breathless! I can't wait to see how you resolve this mess. The beam cutters remind me of lightsabers, any significance? Keep up the great work.

 

Actually there is not. The short beams use a monomolecular thread. I see them as the forerunner of vibroblades, which use a narrow blade and vibration.

 

The problem with a weapon like this is if the magnetic field failed, you'd have a whip of thread that cuts everything.

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Love the battle scenes, love imagining just what Breia's going to do next, love the kids wreaking havoc throughout the ship as the crew can only react. Using the crates as a countermeasure was a nice touch. Good to know the missiles weren't heat seakers or Sanji would have been screwed.

Humor mode way, way, way on: You have this thing for poop, apparently. :D

 

 

Not missiles, projectiles. Remember this is onyl slightly advanced to what we have now.

 

As for the sewage tank, it's contents weren't on my mind. What happened was I was having them chop up anything that would seriously damage but not totally destroy the ship, so fuel tanks, main electrical power, gravity generators, life support etc, are out. They also had to leave elevators and the storage area where the ship was. I wanted something Tokara would remember for a long time.

 

But when I wrote the segment, I used the wrong word. You see, if it were marked sewage, they would have probably firgured it out. On a ship, this is actually called a Sanitary tank.

 

Does that tell you what is in it?

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Hey! This could become machievelli's trademark. Any story he writes would have at least one encounter with excrement, heh-heh-heh. ;)

 

Wonderful detail with the weapon descriptions. Some of it I didn't really understand though. And I enjoy how you've got the Mando teens, Breia, and Sanji and company all in the mix. Very entertaining, to say the least.

 

Again, military mentality, remember? Anyone who reads it who does know abput modern combat will see that the weapons can be fit into a modern arsenal.

 

As for the subroutine, I have to thank David Drake in his Rolling Hot for that. In one scene anti-tank rounds are fired in a friendly fire incident at the same time that cluster bomb anti-personnel are fired. The cluster bombs are smaller, but the guns started simply blasting by proximity. Drake's character had to order a retargetting sequence, (i.e. target by size not proximity) which he did, but too late to survive it.

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Hey! This could become machievelli's trademark. Any story he writes would have at least one encounter with excrement, heh-heh-heh. ;)

 

Wonderful detail with the weapon descriptions. Some of it I didn't really understand though. And I enjoy how you've got the Mando teens, Breia, and Sanji and company all in the mix. Very entertaining, to say the least.

 

I really hate it when a writer gives you a character who pretty much stands around doing nothing, so I decided to make everyone work. Daysah gets to be the panicked 'what do I do now', the boys and Jedi do what they do so well, Magtyar and his crew get to see exactly what messing with the Jedi or the Mandalore is like without to much damage, and Corona gets to see a multibillion credit ship reduced to salvage.

 

In the next section the Admiral and Sunrider get their chance.

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Sorry about the crotch. It was flowing well and you guys are seeing it as it is written with little or no editing. I changed the phrase to 'her privates' describing both regions.

 

'Crotch' itself doesn't bug me--being in the med field I call them by their proper anatomical terms myself, and my friends in college took great delight in 'educating' me on all the other permutations of names for private parts just to see me blush, so I had to learn them just so I could quit getting embarrassed. Now with 2 kids I get more private part discussions than I ever wanted because they're at the age where that's just either fascinating or hilarious. Our dinner table conversation can be...interesting. :)

Anyway, in its context, it would be fine. I just had this jarring sensation because I was picturing this woman in a lovely dress in the middle of an opulent bedroom, and all of the sudden along comes what I consider one of the more crass terms for female anatomy and boom, my image of the scene was shot. If you used a different term that worked with the image you were creating, I would have been fine with that, too. I was fine with breasts because it doesn't carry the same negative baggage, or at least has a more pleasant connotation. If you'd used 'boobs,' then I would have had the same jarring reaction.

 

Sanitary tank--still makes me think of poop, sorry, since it sounds like a euphemism for a toilet tank. After hearing about all the raw sewage that went into Lake Michigan last year or the year before courtesy of Milwaukee's failed sewer system, 'sewage' and poop are probably forever linked.

 

You know, my son would be proud of me for all this discussion of privates and poop. :D

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Cover up

 

“Sir! Two pirate vessels are approaching!” The sensor officer aboard Duroc painted the targets red.

 

“Stand down!” Antilles roared. He turned toward the sensor officer. “Stand down, Mr. Queek.”

 

“But sir, they attacked the Tokara Requiem!”

 

“Sir, the lead ship is trying to contact us.” The com officer shouted.

 

“They’re trying to confuse us, sir!” Queek pleaded. “All weapons-”

 

“If you finish that order, I will kill you.” Antilles warned. Queek looked at his Admiral, then turned back to his console. “All Weap-” The panel sparked as a bullet plowed into it.

 

“I said I will kill you. There will be no further warnings.”

 

“Sir!” The com officer flipped a switch, the call coming over the speakers.

 

“Shani aboard Millennium Falcon. Admiral, Corona admitted to murdering-”

 

“Fire!” Queek screamed. Antilles turned smoothly, his weapon coming up. The next bullet blew Queek’s body over the console.

 

One of the defensive guns opened fire, the shuttle staggering before Antilles could regain order.

 

“Emergency rescue teams, get aboard that shuttle, now!” He ordered. “Have Millennium Falcon brought aboard.”

 

Docking bay open. The ship is- Crap!” The ship crumpled as it veered right, spinning to crash on the deck.

 

Antilles ran through the passageways, stopping at the carnage on his deck. A team were cutting into the Falcon. Beyond the force field of the entry hatch, he could see the rescue team jetting back, towing stretchers.

 

“Report.”

 

The team leader turned. “She’s pretty badly banged up, sir. But it is definitely the Millennium Falcon.”

 

“The crew?”

 

“Professor Shani was banged up, but should recover.” He held his hand to his ear. “The rescue team reporting. Three occupants. One dead, two wounded.”

 

*****

 

Sev ran down one side of the atrium, Anak down the opposite side. As they passed each supporting pillar they stopped, making a figure eight whip, slicing the supports through top and bottom. They reached the forward end of the mall, and set down their short beams. Anak ducked as someone on an upper deck fired down at them. He switched to armor piercing.

 

“Anak-”

 

The boy fluidly lifted the weapon, aimed not at the man shooting at them, but farther forward. His rifle coughed, and there was an explosion far overhead. Like a glittering missile the chandelier plummeted down four decks, slamming with a crash onto the sculpture in the center of the atrium. Shards of the crystal rattled off the supports, and two were knocked free as heavier shrapnel took it’s toll.

 

“Was there a reason for that?” Sev asked.

 

“Artistic freedom. That was a really bad sculpture.”

 

Sev sighed, setting his rifle for armor piercing as well. “Now!”

 

Both boys fired, each at different pillars. The shells penetrated, then exploded, shattering the supports one by one. They had gone only halfway to where they were when there was a creaking and groaning sound from above. They ran forward as several million credits of shops crashed into the lower deck. A bank machine slammed into the deck, and suddenly high denomination notes began spewing from it’s ruptured insides.

 

“Well we’re rich, brother.” Sev joked.

 

“Can’t spend it when we’re dead.” Anak replied. They shrugged and picked up their short beams again.

 

*****

 

Corona stalked onto the bridge, glaring at the Jedi. He walked over, and swung backhanding her onto the deck.

 

“Do you know what this ship cost?” He screamed.

 

“More than it is worth now.” Breia replied, wiping her mouth.

 

Corona screamed, snatching up a pistol, pointing it at the woman with a quivering hand. “We are going to call those maniacs of your off!”

 

“Why?” She rolled to her knees, standing. “They are having so much fun.”

 

Corona stepped forward, catching her robe and slamming the woman against the wall. “They will stop or you will die!”

 

“All they have been doing is punishing you for insulting them.” Breia answered. “That and having a bit of fun. You want to see what they will do if they get angry instead?”

 

“Sir, put her down.” Magtyar said softly.

 

“Shut up, Captain. You work for me!” Corona had lost any shred of calm he might have possessed. Foam flecked his lips, and his teeth gleamed like a hunting predator. “They may have fun. but you won’t live to enjoy it!”

 

The gun came up, and Breia’s hand moved. The knife she held was only 75 mm long. But she had forged the blade herself. It went through muscle, bone, and the grip without even slowing down. Corona stared at the hand as the blade came back, removing three of the fingers from the other hand, forcing him to let go.

 

Breia stepped back from the bloody fountains. “Mr. Sunrider, I would suggest you either use that gun, or help him.” She looked up at the young man. He stood undecided.

 

“Kill her Dasa. Kill them all!”

 

“No Uncle.” Sunrider dropped the weapon. “It’s over. We lost.”

 

“You fool!” Corona screamed, leaping to his feet. pounding the stumps of his hands on his nephew’s chest. “We have money, we won’t lose!”

 

Dasa pinned the arm with the missing hand. Magtyar stepped forward, catching the other.

 

“Magtyar, a million credits. Just kill that-”

 

“Money doesn’t mean anything to me.” Magtyar snapped. “Not if it means a death sentence.”

 

Breia turned to Tor. “Surrender, and you will be granted justice.”

 

Tor stood frozen. Then his hand went for his pistol. There was a shot, and he collapsed backwards, a hole the size of a fist in his chest. Dasa dropped the gun he had snatched up, turning back to his uncle.

 

*****

 

The shuttle landed in what was left of docking bay one of Tokara Requiem. The soldiers spread out as Admiral Antilles marched down the ramp. The people there to meet him were bloody but unbowed. Captain Magtyar and what was left of his crew, Breia, and Dasa Sunrider. Two men carried a litter with a screaming lump in it. There were thuds from aft, and he looked up at the noise.

 

“What in the name of all the gods has been happening here?”

 

“I am sorry, we just called the boys, and they have stopped dismantling the ship.” Breia replied. “That I believe was the first class swimming pool.”

 

“Admiral, as the senior-” Magtyar began

 

“Captain, it is my last act, allow me the privilege.” Dasa said. The captain waved graciously. “Admiral, as the senior representative of the company in the system, I request that you assist Professor Shani in communicating with the native species below. I now turn myself over to you for judgment.”

 

Antilles looked at him coldly, then walked past them to the litter, drawing his sidearm. Corona’s eyes fixed on him, though he obviously didn’t recognize the admiral. “Ten million credits.” He husked. “Kill the Jedi, we’ll cover it all up. They’ll never arrest us. We make the laws after all...” He fell to mumbling, then his eyes locked on the Admiral again. “Fifteen million. Kill the Jedi, we’ll cover it all up. They’ll never arrest us. We make the laws after all...”

 

Antilles turned away, holstering the weapon. “Put them aboard the shuttle. Captain, damage estimate?”

 

“Over half the ship has been gutted.” Magtyar could barely keep the pleasure from his voice. “Engines destroyed, everything except fuel tanks and electrical mains gone aft of the mall. I would classify her as a total loss.”

 

Antilles hid his grin. “Then we’ll have to salvage it, won’t we?” He turned to Breia. “One of my men, the sensor officer was in their employ. I am afraid the shuttle and your ship have been damaged.”

 

“Oh dear.” Breia felt a chill.

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You know, I was having a generally crappy day (no pun intended, honest), and reading about Anak shooting down the chandelier to take out the atrium sculpture in the name of artistic freedom made me laugh. Seeing Corona reduced to a quivering crazed mass is the dream of all of us who like to see the good guys win and the bad guys really get nailed like they truly deserve. :)

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The gun came up, and Breia’s hand moved. The knife she held was only 75 mm long. But she had forged the blade herself. It went through muscle, bone, and the grip without even slowing down. Corona stared at the hand as the blade came back, removing three of the fingers from the other hand, forcing him to let go.
So am I correct in understanding Breia made two cuts? The first cut off part of his hand that held the pistol and the second cut off three fingers of his hand that was holding onto her robe. The first time I read this I got the image that she threw the knife and it cut through one hand and then came around like a boomerang and cut off the fingers of the other. That didn't seem right though.

 

Very interesting that Antilles' sensor officer was willing to face death when he very well could have just let the two spacecraft peacefully land aboard the ship and Antilles would probably have never known that Queek was moonlighting for Tokara Company.

 

One dead, two wounded from the shuttle crew, eh? I have a bad feeling about this...

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So am I correct in understanding Breia made two cuts? The first cut off part of his hand that held the pistol and the second cut off three fingers of his hand that was holding onto her robe. The first time I read this I got the image that she threw the knife and it cut through one hand and then came around like a boomerang and cut off the fingers of the other. That didn't seem right though.

 

Very interesting that Antilles' sensor officer was willing to face death when he very well could have just let the two spacecraft peacefully land aboard the ship and Antilles would probably have never known that Queek was moonlighting for Tokara Company.

 

One dead, two wounded from the shuttle crew, eh? I have a bad feeling about this...

 

 

As I said in a previous posting, you guys are getting to see this before a lot of the editing is done. As an example, I have reworked two scenes mentally making Dasa Sunrider more of a pawn than he was before. The scene you have mentioned is going to be rewritten, and I will try to be more specific about what happened. I remembered the man who was shooting when Anak made his artistic criticism after the fact, and intend to deal with him as well.

 

Yep, someone died. But who?

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Better yet, I'll just give it to you.

 

 

Loss and gain

 

Breia moved toward the table. The figure didn’t move. She reached down, running her hands across the forehead. “Oh Sanji.” she whispered.

 

“Stop playing with my Lekku unless you mean it.” Sanji gasped. His lungs felt like they were on fire. The last thing he remembered was the cargo spilling out into space.

 

“Maybe I do.” She joked, sitting beside him. “What have I told you about trying to breathe vacuum?”

 

He tried to chuckle but it turned into a wracking cough. “Nothing I remember.”

 

“That’s because I forgot. The thing to remember about breathing vacuum is; don’t.”

 

“I considered that at the time.” He gasped. “Maybe if you had told me before I wouldn’t have tried.”

 

“You are such a silly young boy. Get some rest. You’ve had a busy day.”

 

“Wait. The scientists. I failed them.”

 

“Failed them how?” She snapped. “You are alive because Professor Coor ran back, to drag you into the cockpit. Didn’t know that there were emergency air masks every two meters, did you?”

 

“I must have missed the briefing.”

 

"Good thing for you Professor Coor didn‘t. He strapped an emergency walk around tank on you before you’d done too much damage to yourself. But Sanji, if he hadn’t gone to rescue you he’d be dead.“

 

“What?“

 

“While he was doing that, a traitor aboard the Frigate opened fire. Ton Morant was killed when they blew the cockpit right off the ship. Coor caught some shrapnel that would have killed you.”

 

“I failed.” He whispered. “I failed Morant, I failed you. I murdered so many men down there.” He turned away, tears of shame running down his face.

 

She wordlessly touched his cheek.

 

*****

 

Daysah Shani walked into the brig. Behind the force field Dasa Sunrider sat, looking at the floor. She walked over to stand before it. After a moment, the prisoner looked up.

 

“Professor.” Sunrider looked away.

 

“Breia told me what you did.” She said softly. “Surrendering. Killing the man that tried to kill her.”

 

“Maybe being around people like you and her has rubbed off on me.” He joked. He wiped his face with his hands. “I have to tell them the truth. I have to... I have to atone for my sins.”

 

“For following a lunatic?” Shani asked. “Did you kill those ships along with him? Did you order the deaths of those men?”

 

“No.” Dasa whispered. “But I knew and did nothing.” He looked up. “Maybe when they are done with me I can see you again. Maybe that man will be worth your time.”

 

“You silly man, if I hadn’t liked you I would have told you to jet off when you wanted to take me on a tour.” She sighed. “After the trial, we’ll talk again.”

 

“Yeah. After.” He sat in silence as she left.

 

*****

 

The Mando ship snuggled up against the Duroc. The captain stepped aboard, looking around. “Impressive, but I bet we could out maneuver her.” He commented. He saw the woman waiting for him. “Captain Johara Vau, Clan Ordo.” He said saluting. “I have come for my brother.”

 

Breia motioned for him to follow. “We were unsure what they should record on their Soochir.” She said.

 

“Battles and conquests.” Johara snarled. “Nothing else is worth recording."

 

“Then let us speak with him, and let them tell it.”

 

The Millennium Falcon looked as if she had come in second place in a collision, which was in fact the truth. The starboard mandible had been shattered and crushed to half it’s size, collapsed forward to where it scraped the deck. The starboard main gear had been shattered as well, the oleo struts slammed halfway through the deck by her mass. Breia walked up the slanted ramp, leaning as if she’d always boarded this way. In the mess deck, the boys stood resplendent in their full kit.

 

“Soochin. Brother.”

 

“Elder brother.” Anak bowed.

 

“Boys. Tell of what you did.”

 

*****

 

“What are the losses?” The chairman asked. He looked out of the fiftieth floor window at the city skyline.

 

“The Requiem has been declared a total loss.” The new Vice President of Shipping reported. “It would cost us more to bring the hulk home than the salvage charges. It would be cheaper to declare her a dead loss where she is.”

 

“Meera?”

 

“Almost a total loss. Over a hundred dead, fifteen earthmovers destroyed or so badly damaged that they might as well be destroyed.” The Vice President in charge of Commerce reported. “The hotel is set back at least a decade.”

 

The door swung open, and a small woman marched in, followed by Admiral Antilles. The chairman turned his chair back, glaring at the secretary that squirmed in Antilles’ grip. “What is the meaning of this?” He growled.

 

“This Jedi Monk and the Admiral wanted to speak to the board, and when I tried to stop them...” The man gestured with his head toward the arm lock. “They didn’t take no for an answer.”

 

“Have your say, and leave. The company has pressing business.” The chairman snarled.

 

“They have more than business to worry about if I don’t have my say.” Breia retorted. She looked at the men. Was there even a scintilla of good in them? She walked along the table, stopping beside the chairman. “Gentlemen, I have a deposition from Professor Daysah Shani of the University of Coruscant. She has some interesting things to discuss with the Galactic Trade Authority. Murder, fomenting the destruction of vessels that belong to rival corporations. Trade irregularities that well have your stock in the penny column by the end of the day.”

 

“Whatever Suli Corona might have done-” The Vice President of Shipping stopped as a blade suddenly lunged toward him, stopping 25 centimeters from his nose.

 

“I will talk, you will listen. That means mouths shut.” Breia said coolly. “I can have every member of this board in court for the next century with all of the proven irregularities. Care to bet who will win?” She looked around the table.

 

“The problem is, you’re not the best example of Coruscanti business, but you’re not the worst either. Removing your company will leave others just as bad if not worse out there. The Admiral had decided to set aside the vengeance he feels is owed for his son’s life. Assuming this board can come to an accord with me.”

 

The chairman looked at the extended blade which had not moved from the Vice President, staying exactly that distance, level and perfectly still. He licked his lips. “What do you propose, Jedi?”

 

“Meera is no longer property. The company will foreswear all claim to the system.”

 

“Agreed.”

 

“The Ithorians are interested in obtaining some technology. Specifically repulsor lift. You will give it to them.”

 

“For a reasonable-” The chairman stopped talking as Breia’s face turned toward him. “Free. An orbital factory.”

 

“Then there is the matter of some construction. The Ithorians don’t mind visitors. They would just prefer that they act like guests, not rapacious monsters. The people of Ithor have agreed to allow an orbital hotel, owned and operated by Tokara. In return they want something built. A floating city capable of sustaining one third of their population with a fair and honest price schedule for the construction of two more within the decade. The first will be built with the promise of payment paid for with medicinal herbs they will supply at fair market value.” She slowly leaned back onto her feet, the sword dropping to low port. “In return for that concession, they have agreed not to take Tokara to court and demand one trillion credits. Admiral Antilles and Professor Shani have agreed not to pursue the matter further. The Jedi will agree to let it be.” She looked around the table. “The only alternative is for all of this to become public. No one will care that some man did this, whether he had approval or not. Even trying to prove it in court could be slippery.” She touched the stud, the blades folding, and she sheathed the weapon.

 

“Shall I tell them your decision?”

 

*****

 

Sanji gasped, leaning against the bulkhead. His lungs were healing, but even this short walk had winded him badly. The treadmill stopped as he did, so he didn’t face the indignity of being dragged onto the deck again.

 

“There you are.” Breia snapped tartly. “The entire council came from the Monastery to judge you, and you are playing in the recreation deck.”

 

“Judge me-” Sanji gasped, then coughed, his shoulders shaking with pain.

 

“Yes, judge you. Now come with me.” She caught his arm, throwing it over her shoulders. “I can’t leave you alone for a minute.” She growled, dragging him into the passageway.

 

The pair walked down the passageway, entering a large area set aside for briefings. Silent, the full council, all twelve sat, watching.

 

“Sanji Gretu, you are called to judgment for your actions on Meera-”

 

“Ithor.” Breia snapped, taking her seat. Sanji stood in the center alone.

 

“You are correct. Let the record show that Meera is now declared to be Ithor, the name the natives have given it.” Master Hontu corrected. “If we may continue Breia?”

 

“Of course, Berol.” she replied.

 

“You are charged with abandoning your master, fomenting a rebellion along with two scientists, decimating a fifty man landing force, and attacking a private company vessel destroying her armament.” Hontu looked at the young man. “Did you do these things?”

 

“I didn’t foment a rebellion. And as for abandoning my master, I was attempting to escape capture.”

 

“A technicality.” Hontu snapped. “I have never seen such arrogance in a student in my life!” He stood, storming down the steps to confront the younger man. Sanji straightened, looking down at the master.

 

“If you’re going to keep doing things like this, there is only one thing I can think to do about it. Are we agreed?” He turned to face the other masters.

 

Sanji looked at the faces. Human, Hutt, Twi-lek, Gram. They all looked at each other, then nodded. He looked at Breia, who also nodded, his heart sinking.

 

“Breia, he’s your student. You announce the judgment.” Hontu returned to his seat.

 

She stood, walking down to stand facing him. “As master Hontu has said, I have never seen such arrogance in a student in my life. So to make sure it doesn’t happen again, I will pass judgment. Will you accept my decision?”

 

Sanji nodded, closing his eyes.

 

“As the representative of the council, and your master, I strip you of the rank of Apprentice. From this day forward, you will be Padawan Teacher Gretu.” His eyes snapped open. She reached out, and he silently took her hand. “Next time try not to leave another of the order out there all alone. Now go away, and celebrate. The council has to decide which mission you have to undertake when an apprentice has been assigned to you.”

 

“Apprentice?”

 

“Of course you young twit. You can’t be my pilot forever. You have your own duties, as I have mine.” She sniffed. “First I have to get my ship repaired. So go on.”

 

*****

 

Aboard the Mando corvette Dhalmarta, Captain Johara Vau stood. “In circle we sit, to tell of our battles, and victories. Tonight we have a new voice in the circle. Tell us ade Anak Vau of Clan Ordo. Tell us of the gutting of the Tokara Requiem.”

 

The warriors looked at their youngest member as he stood up. “Listen brothers of war as I tell you of my first victory. The one I share with Sev Soochin of clan Ordo.

 

“We had been captured by the Hut’uun of the Tokara Company... “

 

*****

 

Sanji walked slowly. His lungs would never fully recover, he knew that. But he didn’t let them slow him much. He looked at the sleek five man ship he had been given with pride. It was not the Millennium Falcon, but at least it wasn’t being repaired.

 

He walked up the ramp, then paused. There was a thump of a rock hitting the side of the ship, and he walked around it slowly. He had never seen anyone of the small creature’s race before. Green skinned, long pointed ears, tridactyl hands and feet. The being was sitting in meditation ten meters from the ship. As Sanji watched, the little being looked down, a stone lifting into the air, then shooting forward toward the ship to ring against the hull plating.

 

“May I ask you what you are doing?” He asked.

 

“Ask you may, Padawan teacher.” The little being replied. “Bored I am with study. Pilot I heard you need.” He looked up, standing. “Yodai I am. Apprentice I am.”

 

“And bouncing rocks off my ship was the only way you could think of to get my attention?”

 

“Worked did it not?”

 

He sighed, shaking his head. Of all the arrogance-

 

Just like I was all those years ago.

 

“Get aboard.”

 

Sanji walked down toward the monastery. As he passed the rooms, he could hear snippets.

 

“Language is communication, whether it is body language, sound, moving of the fingers, smell, or a combination of them...” Master Mogo was saying.

 

A few steps farther he paused.

 

“As you progress within the order, there will come a time where all you can depend on is your blade.

 

“You are children, but this you must understand. Steel is pure in it’s honesty. It cares not for your values, or your beliefs. It will protect you only as long as you are honest to it as well.

 

“To become a full Jedi monk, you must master the blade. Any can master the single blade, few will master two blades. But only a true warrior of the heart will ever master the blade staff.” There was a clicking snap. “It is not to say that using a single blade is weak. Just that if you wish to stay and learn the twin blade and blade staff, you must show more heart.

 

“Now, each of you pick up a dull steel practice blade. I warn you now that it will be painful, but-”

 

“Master?” a voice asked.

 

“Hmn?” Sanji looked at the small human girl. She looked to be about six or seven.

 

“You are late for class, master.”

 

“So I am. And you are?"

 

“Breia, master. Breia Solo.”

 

“Ah. I have heard of you.” Sanji walked on, entering the courtyard he had been assigned. He sat, easing his form into a meditation seat. He looked at the expectant faces. Young Solo sitting off to one side.

 

“The art of concealment is sometimes necessary. There are those that can be convinced you are not there. But this is not something you can merely be told of. It is something you will practice in the coming years.

 

“Now I wish you all to meditate. As you do, I want you to focus on a single thought. That you cannot be seen. You are a wraith...”

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for those of you who have read it from the start, this is 225 pages long.

 

It is a full book, in other words. With editing it will come out to just about 250.

I'd have to start an entirely different thread, because as Mozart said about music 'you put just as many words as is necessary, then stop'.

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That was a very good end, I hope you post a lot more work here. I can hardly believe that was 225 pages.

But why do you keep on using a lot of a smaller unit when you could use the next unit up? (It happened a few times, but the only specific one I can remember is the 75mm blade, when you could have used 7.5cm)

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As an American in my 50s, I'm not really comfortable with metric. I use it all the time (In fact one of my jobs when I edit is conversion) plus the fact that while Europeans use the Centimeters instead of millimeters, most military ordinance, especially in the US, is stated in mm rather than cm. A 3'' gun is 76.2mm etc instead of 7.62 cm. Call it a quirk, like the descents into sewage.

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Sanji lives! And he was made a Padawan Teacher. All I will say is he definitely proved his mettle.

 

IIRC this was part 2 of a 3 part series. Will we have the opportunity to read part 3 here or have you decided to halt posting at this juncture?

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  • 1 year later...

Do you have a copy of this in a document, text, or pdf file I could download somewhere? I really like your story, but can't read more than 3 or 4 chapters at a time because of the color scheme on these forums messing with my eyes (the text is just to white causing to much contrast).

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Do you have a copy of this in a document, text, or pdf file I could download somewhere? I really like your story, but can't read more than 3 or 4 chapters at a time because of the color scheme on these forums messing with my eyes (the text is just to white causing to much contrast).

 

The only existing copy of this in a differetnt format is on my computer.

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