Diego Varen Posted July 18, 2006 Share Posted July 18, 2006 Hello all, this is a new Fic I plan to write soon. It will be set after TSL and will star the Exile, Jaden Lennon (Named after my idol John Lennon from The Beatles). He is a Jedi Consular and will also be a Jedi Master (When I get to that stage of the game). I've currently started a new game with him and plan to start writing this Fic as soon as possible. One question though. Should he had a blue Lightsaber or a green Lightsaber? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jason Skywalker Posted July 18, 2006 Share Posted July 18, 2006 Green. Or Viridian, it's cooler. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Master Jimmy Posted July 18, 2006 Share Posted July 18, 2006 well both our exiles have the same idea, mines page, yours is lennon. anyway lookin forward to it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hallucination Posted July 19, 2006 Share Posted July 19, 2006 Sounds fun. Make his sabre cyan, it's a balance of green and blue. At least in RGB colour standards. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diego Varen Posted July 19, 2006 Author Share Posted July 19, 2006 I'll decided to go with green. Just to let you know, my Exile is the one that looks a lot like Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon Jinn. Sorry if this first Chapter is short, but I just wanted to introduce it, so nobody gets bored. Also this isn't KOTOR III. This will be set before that. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Chapter I Happy Landings ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Ebon Hawk sped through space at an uncontrollable speed. Inside the Ebon Hawk, the alarms had sounded, causing everyone to panic. Except the captain of the Ebon Hawk, Jaden Lennon, who was once an exile. He ran into the cockpit to see his friend, Atton Rand having trouble trying to control the ship. “What happened?” Jaden asked. “I don’t know,” Atton told him, “But something has gone wrong with the ship.” “Do you know what?” Jaden asked. “No and at the moment I don’t want to know, because we need to get to Telos soon.” Atton told Jaden. Bao-Dur entered the cockpit. He was a Zabrak who was an experienced engineer, during the Mandalorian Wars. He had also served Jaden. “General, I’m sorry I interrupted your argument,” He told Jaden, “We’ll have to crash land somewhere if we want to survive.” “Well where are we going to crash land Mr. Fix-It??” Atton asked sarcastically. Atton and Bao-Dur continued to argue, while Jaden looked on the Galaxy Map. There was only one Planet to crash land on. This Planet, Jaden had hoped never to go there again. Korriban. A Sith Planet. Jaden sighed out loud, hoping Atton and Bao-Dur would stop arguing. They wouldn’t. Jaden decided to do something he didn’t normally do. “Be quiet!” He shouted. Both Atton and Bao-Dur flinched at hear their friend shout. “Now, we’ve only got two choices,” Jaden continued, “Korriban or die here. Choose now.” Jaden thought he sounded like his master, Kreia. She was an old woman, who helped Jaden relearn the ways of the Force. There was one thing, Jaden and his friends didn’t know at the time and they didn’t find out until too late. Kreia was using Jaden for her plans. Jaden never fell to the dark side, during his time with Kreia and not even when he was exiled after the Mandalorian Wars. “We’re crash landing on Korriban.” Atton told Jaden. “Brace yourselves.” Bao-Dur continued. Jaden watched out of the window as he felt the Ebon Hawk descend onto Korriban’s surface. ***** Ouch! Jaden thought, This pain will last for a while. Jaden awoke to see everyone watching him. “What happened?” He asked. “You were knocked unconscious from the crash.” The Handmaiden, Brianna told Jaden. “The rest of us managed to stay conscious.” The once apprentice of Darth Nihilus, Visas Marr continued. Well Jaden’s question was answered. He had to figure out how to leave Korriban. He assumed they were still there. Jaden decided to get up, but he felt a staggering pain in his stomach. It hurt so much, that Jaden needed to lie back down on the medical bay's bed. “Please relax.” Visas told Jaden, cushioning him. “We’ll figure a way to get off Korriban General,” Bao-Dur continued, “T3 and I shall fix the ship, the best we can.” Jaden smiled weakly. He doubted his and everyone else’s efforts. “Thanks Bao-Dur,” Jaden said, “Another happy landing.” And with his last words, he drifting off into a long deep sleep. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Stay tuned for Chapter II The Mysterious Ghost ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RC-1162 Posted July 19, 2006 Share Posted July 19, 2006 w00t! RotS quote! good work, Pottise, looking forward to more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jason Skywalker Posted July 19, 2006 Share Posted July 19, 2006 Yeah Pottsie, another good one. Also, i was the one that started the Jaden Exile trend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Niner_777 Posted July 19, 2006 Share Posted July 19, 2006 Good job, Pottsie. That was an interesting start. Keep it up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diego Varen Posted July 19, 2006 Author Share Posted July 19, 2006 Thanks for all the comments. Yeah, Jason started the Jaden Exile trend, but I've got quite attached to the name, since The Sith Lord. Also the ROTS Quote, I liked and I usually use it for the first Chapter and something for the main Character to say. Now preparing to write Chapter II. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
igyman Posted July 19, 2006 Share Posted July 19, 2006 I don't know what to make of it yet, but I'm interested to see where the story will take us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jason Skywalker Posted July 19, 2006 Share Posted July 19, 2006 What's the ROTS quote anyways? Cuz i haven't seen ROTs in a good long time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RC-1162 Posted July 19, 2006 Share Posted July 19, 2006 when Obi Wan, Anakin and Palpy crash land on coruscant after the space battle in the beginning, Obi Wan says it. gotta luv it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jason Skywalker Posted July 19, 2006 Share Posted July 19, 2006 I asked what was the quote. I'm guessing it's the Brace yourselves? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RC-1162 Posted July 19, 2006 Share Posted July 19, 2006 oh, that. no, it was "Another happy landing" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jason Skywalker Posted July 19, 2006 Share Posted July 19, 2006 OH, that. Thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Master Jimmy Posted July 19, 2006 Share Posted July 19, 2006 Wowey..... Awesome man, that's some good stuff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diego Varen Posted July 20, 2006 Author Share Posted July 20, 2006 Thanks Revanscool. Here's Chapter II. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Chapter II The Mysterious Ghost ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A day had passed since the Ebon Hawk’s “happy landing” had occurred. Bao-Dur and the Utility Droid, T3-M4 were busy trying to repair the engines, but to no avail. Jaden had been lying on the medical bay’s bed, trying to recover from his serious injuries. The rest of the crew had done nothing important. Then again, there was nothing for them to do. ***** Nightfall soon arrived and everyone had gone to his or her dormitories to sleep. Except Jaden. He felt restless. He wanted to get up and do something, but he was still injured. He sighed out loud and grabbed a spare component. Feeling frustrated, he threw the component to the other side of the medical bay. “Somebody is angry.” A deep, feminine voice echoed around the room. Jaden looked around and he could see nobody there. He knew the voice was familiar. It was a voice that he thought he would never hear again. “Who is there?” Jaden asked. “Someone you know,” The voice echoed, “Or someone you once knew.” Jaden then knew who was speaking to him. But how? She had died along with Malachor V. “Kreia?” Jaden asked. A ghostly form of his former master appeared in front of him. She wasn’t Darth Traya this time. Now she was Kreia. The Kreia that Jaden knew before she revealed herself as Traya. She smiled. “Your insights serve you well,” Kreia told Jaden, “You seem restless.” Jaden sighed. He knew she was right, but he didn’t want to tell her. Whatever Jaden said to her, she always seemed angry. “You could say that,” He told her, “Let’s just say that ever since I destroyed Malachor V, things have been falling apart.” Kreia seemed interested in what Jaden was telling her. “I thought that now that Malachor V was destroyed, the echo in the Force would be over.” Jaden continued. “Oh trust me, it is,” Kreia told Jaden, “You’ve saved the Galaxy from destruction for a moment, but you haven’t saved yourself, nor your friends. Or even the Galaxy, not truly” Jaden seemed confused. Had the destruction of Malachor not removed the echo of the Force from him? Did it mean nothing? Were there more threats in the Galaxy? As if reading his mind, Kreia answered Jaden’s questions. “The echo has been separated from you, but even now you, your friends and the Galaxy are at the verge of destruction. Malachor’s destruction was nothing. There are more Sith worlds in the Outer Rim and the Unknown Regions. The most dangerous of the Sith are the True Sith.” “The True Sith?” Jaden asked, “What are they?” “You’ll soon find out.” Kreia told Jaden, fading away. “No Kreia don’t go!” Jaden called out, “Don’t go! Don’t go. Don’t.” Jaden’s frustration returned. Why wouldn’t Kreia tell Jaden anything? Was he supposed to find out everything himself? That night, Jaden had trouble falling to sleep. ***** That night, Jaden had a dream. Or was it a vision? Either way, it wasn’t a very nice dream. Jaden saw himself on the top of a cliff, surrounded by thousands of mindless disciples of the dark side. One of the disciples walked towards Jaden and spoke in a language, Jaden didn’t understand. “What do you want with me?” Jaden spat. The disciple continued to speak, but Jaden still couldn’t understand what he was saying. By the sounds of it, it didn’t sound good. The disciple reached into his pocket and took out an old vibroblade. “You may have trapped me, but I can still use the Force to help me!” Jaden shouted at the disciple. He tried to find his Lightsaber, but couldn’t feel it. Where was it? Then Jaden noticed that one of the disciples had it. He turned around to see the first disciple lifting up his vibroblade, ready to strike. Jaden shouted out as the disciple’s vibroblade crashed onto him. ***** Jaden awoke in the medical bay again and screamed out loud, hoping nobody would hear. Unfortunately somebody did. They weren’t really somebody. They were two Droids. T3 and the Assassin Droid, HK-47. “Statement. My counterpart and I heard some screams from here.” HK told Jaden. Jaden sighed. “Yes HK,” Jaden told him, “Did I disturb you both?” “Answer. Quite the contrary, we needed a bit of excitement in our lives.” HK told Jaden. T3 beeped his agreement. “Maybe you two better return to what you were doing?” Jaden told them. “Annoyance. Fine.” HK muttered, hoping Jaden wouldn’t hear. Jaden sighed once again when HK and T3 left. He felt slightly better now, so in the morning, he’d get up and try and find a way off Korriban. Maybe there would be some parts somewhere. Hopefully luck was on his side. For once. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Stay tuned for Chapter III Danger! ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RC-1162 Posted July 20, 2006 Share Posted July 20, 2006 good chapter once again, Pottsie, but the HK dialogues are quite different. firstly, there is a ':' mark after "Statement" or "Answer" or whatever. secondly, i dont think he uses the term "annoyance:" anyway, the rest of the chapter was good. Looking forward to more! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
igyman Posted July 20, 2006 Share Posted July 20, 2006 Nice one, but I agree with RC when it comes to HK-47, I don't think he'd say something like ''...we needed a bit of excitement in our lives'', I think he'd more likely say something like ''No master, it always cheers me up to hear a meatbag scream in horror.'' (By the way, if you want to change HK's line feel free to use this one and if you have trouble thinking of something for him to say don't hesitate to ask.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jason Skywalker Posted July 20, 2006 Share Posted July 20, 2006 Bah, you're just saying that cuz you're both HK maniacs. What can i say, it's the usual. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RC-1162 Posted July 20, 2006 Share Posted July 20, 2006 no problemo, we HK maniacs are ready to help . seriously, dont hesitate to ask. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yaggles Posted July 20, 2006 Share Posted July 20, 2006 Very nice. I'm in no way a HK maniac, and in fact I don't like him, as he is much to annoying. But I do agree that he should say something like what igyman suggested and there should be a ":" after stuff like Statement: Answer: Question/Inquery: Annoyance:, etc. -Yaggles Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Niner_777 Posted July 20, 2006 Share Posted July 20, 2006 Good job, Pottsie. That chapter sets up the story nicely. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diego Varen Posted July 20, 2006 Author Share Posted July 20, 2006 Thanks for the comments all. I'm not the greatest person with HK, but I tried my best. I'm no HK obsessed person. I couldn't think of anything to say for HK's line. God I need to play the game again. I'll start writing Chapter III soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RC-1162 Posted July 20, 2006 Share Posted July 20, 2006 and in fact I don't like him, as he is much to annoying. Statement: Assassination protocols initiated. Prepare to die, meatbag! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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