Anti-Tim RPG

[Miss_Mayhem]

Everyone felt all floaty as they got sucked into Smon's eternal vortex of eternal doom...and Psychonauts in his eternal fedora of eternal doom...and Psychonauts.

 

"Why didnt you say you could do this back with Tim!?" Mayhem realized.

 

And with a loud 'pop', the swirling colors of the world faded away, replaced with the scene of a very familiar camp.

 

"Whoa!" Mayhem gasped, "My proportions are all squished and I look all Psychonauty! Ugh...that sounded wrong..."

 

After a while of oohing and ahhing, the group remembered their purpose. But not for long. There were many distracting shiny things. Then...a fahreaky noise. There it went again! Everyone went into defensive mode, keeping an eye on a shivering bush.

 

And then...out popped a little blue kid in a red jumpsuit, "AHH! Don't hurt me! You're not with that scary lady that came here earlier, are you?"

 

"What?" Pyro asked, "We're not gonna hurt you...alot...maybe..."

 

"What scary lady?" Mayhem asked the trembly child. He regained his composure and spoke in a soft voice, "I think she called herself...Tammy Shafer or sumthing..."

 

"WHAT!?" everyone screamed.

 

The Anti-Tim was a WOMAN!

[St. Jimmy]

"Woah!" Jimmy was still a bit spaced out after the whole teleporty thing.

"Blue kids? Women? RED jumpsuits? The kid should be shot!" The child shied away.

"Good one Jimmy!" Miss Mayhem whispered angrily.

"Who wears RED jumpsuits?!"

"It doesn't matter! He didn't do anything wrong."

"Yeah,... well.., He wore a red jumpsuit! And that's wrong!"... "Owch!"

[pyrohappygirl]

Realizing who it was, Pyro smiled.

"Ello, Dogen," She mumbled, poking him.

"Careful, I might explode," He mumbled. Pyro smiled. Suddenly, out of the woods came... SASHA NEIN.

"OMFG IT'S SASHA NEIN!!!" Pyro screamed, running up to him and hugging him.

"Save... Me," He gasped, just as she let go.

"You WILL stay here, Sasha, or I might set you on fire," Pyro mumbled, making a fireball appear in her hands.

"But I'd just..."

"Aww, good Sasha," Pyro chuckled, patting him on the head.

[Miss_Mayhem]

having heard the commotion, a frantic Milla came rushing to the scene, "You kids better not be trying to sneak outta camp over the parking lot gates ag--ah!". The gang looked at her in disbeleif, Milla staring back

 

"Who are you people and what are you doing in this top secret fecility! You better give me a good answer!" Milla said at last, unable to look away from the choking Sasha and elfgirl patting his head and not sure what to think of.

 

Mayhem raised a hand, "Actually, we are touring the campgrounds, some of us are interested in joining and the rest have relatives who could benefit from the uh, training. yeah, thats right."

 

Milla calmed down and a smile graced her lips, "Oh? I didn't know that you were supposed to be here, not aware of your appointment. Sorry for the misconveniance. But unfortunately, we are not taking any more pupils from this day, seeing as Whispering Rock may not be in use as soon as the program ends this week." She said the last bit with a sad tone and a crestfallen expression.

 

"What do you mean?" someone within the group asked.

 

Milla sighed, "A woman came by earlier today in regards to the deed of the camp. You see, the camp is owned and founded by Ford Cruller, operated my Morcuea oleander, thus it is titled a government facility as I stated earlier, though it is privately owned. But this woman...Tammy Shafer says that the camp will be closed down, since Ford Cruller is not in the best state of mind and probably wasn't when he bought the land. She says that this means that the deed to the camp is up for grabs, and that she would like to buy it herself."

 

"How evil!" Pyro growled, finally releasing Sasha who was now sputtering for air as he inched his way to Milla.

 

He breathed heavily, "Evil? I haven't even seen the woman nor met her, and her argument seems awfully valid."

 

Milla continued, "This is especially distressing since some of the children have gone missin. As much as I want them back since I simply love those kids, missing children doesn't help our case much."

 

Mayhem pondered for a moment, "How 'bout we help you find them? My, uh relative...yeah, thats right...deserves to come to a place such as this!"

 

Sasha and Milla raised their eyebrows, huddling together to discuss the proposition.

 

"They certaintly are a unique...interesting bunch." Milla said softly.

 

Sasha adjusted his shades, "Interesting' doesn't even begin to describe them, but look at me; I have green skin and the extra help would be of use."

 

The two looked back at the group, "Why not? We need the help"

[pyrohappygirl]

"Aww..." Pyro sighed, taking a rope out of her backpack and tying it around Sasha's shoe, before attaching a padlock to it.

"Stay," She firmly said, before turning to Milla.

"What Miss Mayhem said is true. I really wanted to come here, as you will see, I'm kinda like, a psychic, and I can't do much other than set stuff on fire..." Milla stiffened at the mention of it.

"And, shoot stuff, and fly," Pyro sighed, before turning back to Sasha.

"Good boy," She mumbled, hugging him. Sasha groaned, before turning to Milla.

"Help me... Milla..." He hissed. Pyro smiloed at Milla.

"Wait here, I gotta go change into my 'ACTION GO' outfit," She laughed, running into the toilet, changing quickly, and coming out dressed in an outfit not unlike a Japanese schoolgirl's. Her hair was dyed purple and black, and she held her guitar.

"So, what should we do to help?" Pyro asked Milla.

"Tell us and we'll do it. But in return, give me Sasha,"

[Miss_Mayhem]

Sasha raised a finger in responce, But Milla forced it down, "Some of the kids are missing as we've said, we could use the help finding them."

[Smon]

"Guys! I figured out what Tammy is up to!" Smon said urgently.

 

"We know," Mayham interrupted, "She wants to shut down WR."

 

"Wha?" Smon said and looked down at his notepad that simply said Dracula with an underline underneath it. "Er... right!"

[Miss_Mayhem]

"But what would shutting WR do? If she really wanted to make a difference, she'd try to bring down something bigger." Mayhem then thought aloud.

 

Smon continued, "First of all, thinking out loud is not cool, second of all, did you forget the missing kids? It's like a mystery that uh...I cant think of anything witty. Sorry. But if WR is shutdown, that means that Ford would be booted out and Tammy...could hack into the Pnauts mainframe computer jabberwocky from his sanctuary or sumthin?"

 

"She could just want to ruin Tim Shafer's creation" Avery said.

 

Smon sighed, "Whatever sounds cooler is the truth we will acknowledge. it's called Wikiality."

[pyrohappygirl]

Pyro laughed.

"I knew all this would happen. Hence the ACTION GO outfit," She chuckled.

"But something I don't know. Is Mikhail here?" She asked, beginning to pull a ball and chain out of her bag.

"No, sorry," Sasha grumbled.

"What about Raz?" Pyro asked. Continuing to pull the chain out.

"Uh... I think so..." Sasha sighed.

[Miss_Mayhem]

Then...Mayhem was attacked by a bear. Reviving, she cussed, "DAMMIT! If Tammy is gonna kidnap something, why not the bears!"

 

"Can't you charm animals into doing your bidding?" Jimmy asked.

 

"Yeah, but it doesn't work if I'm bein smacked upside the head and getting pwned!"

 

"What going on?" A familiar voice said at last, going visible, "What's this I here about WR shutting down?" Lili!

[pyrohappygirl]

"It's a Lili!" Pyro cried, running up to said child and poking her.

"She's squishy!" Pyro cried, before yanking Sasha over.

"Where's Raz?" Pyro asked Lili, before pointing Sasha at her.

"If you don't tell, I'm going to make him set you on fire, and then pick your smoking carcasse up and throw it for a bear to eat," Sasha grimaced as Pyro waved him about, further explaining how she would punish Lili if she didn't share the secret of where Raz was.

"And then I'll make the cougar cough up your blackened remains," Pyro finished. Lili glared at Pyro.

[St. Jimmy]

Ha Ha ha.. heh... *moan* "I'm so out of my depth here." Jimmy said flatly, not unlike the way I just did...

[DarthAve]

"Ok! I've got a plan to save whispering rock and stop this Tammy person!"Ave yelled

"Go on." Sasha said

"Alright. We're gonna have to get inside the mind of this Tammy, track her down. When we've infiltradted the inner workings of her brain, then we shut it down, put her in a coma or somthing."

"Yeah, but we have to find her first." Mashi added.

"Uh, find a fingerprint and clairvoyance."

"...we are dumbasses."

"I know." Avery said, holding Elton's arm. "We're goin' down to the lake."

[Mashi An'krekku]

Even though Mashi had said only one line of total relevance, she was still staring into the clouds, trying to find the one shaped like a two-headed baby. Lili, however, had finished glaring at Pyro (because it wasn't worth it) and wandered over to Mashi.

 

"...WHY ARE YOU A CAT?"

Mashi looked down, and suddenly her eyes gushed with happiness. "OH MY GOD, YOU'RE MORE ADORABLE IN REAL LIFE." She scooped Lili up in her furry white arms and hugged her. "Lena, can I keep her?"

"Lemme think..." Lena said sarcastically, rubbing her chin. "No."

Lili's eyes begged the lemur to force the catgirl off of her. She would've actually said that (and she did) but I already wasted it on the action.

"Sure. Mashi, put the little human down."

"D'awwww." She set Lili down on a nearby rock where she sat and blinked for a while.

Then she spoke. "Thanks, lemur-lady. And...I better go find Raz." She glared at Pyro whilst exiting. "I got my eye on you."

Mashi followed her, also walking backwards-ish. "Water triiibe!" she whispered, flashing a few gang signs. Lena pulled her back and threw her in a tree.

*THUD!* "MEOW, I'M A CAUGHT IN A TREE!"

Lena laughed. "That's the first time she probably meowed."

[Gruducuuz]

And then Grud popped out from behind a tree for no apparent reason.

 

"GAH!....Oh, err, hello. I saw the PM and all of a sudden I was here."

 

Name: Gruducuuz

Gender: Male

Other Stuff: Glasses, tall, stonger than the average bear. Dislikes being killed without permission, and average bears.

Also human.

 

"What did I miss?"

[St. Jimmy]

"Actually, Come to think of it... You actually missed quite a bit! None of which I had anything to do with." Jimmy realised. "I had Pizza?"

*Goes off and tries to get the whole tree popping trick happening*

[DarthAve]

Ave was now standing next to Sasha.

"Hey Sasha, I read your blog."

"Really? The LJ one?"

"sha."

"Awesome. I freggin hate abnormal shampoo."

"LAUGH OUT LOUD!"

quietness, however ave broke it.

"silence....of the lambs. Wanna go watch that?"

"HELL YES!" Sasha said. "Hannibal Lector is so 1337."

"He's hot too. In that creepy way."

"Totally. I'd do him."

"Hold up. You said you wern't gay, or an S&M enthusiast."

"Everyone's a little bi."

"True. Let's go." Then everyone went to watch Silence of the Lambs up in the lounge.

[St. Jimmy]

except Jimmy who was busy trying to think of ways to make himself usefull.

[Miss_Mayhem]

Mayhem lost all interest in the current situation, deciding that the tweeting birds had to die by her bow and arrow. Also the squirrels cuz they were being jerks. Milla shrugged and walked away, followed by a sighing Lili that followed. They reached the main-lodge together, Milla walking upstairs in search of somthing and Lili heading to the tv lounge.

 

"LILI!" Raz cried, grabbing her wrist and commencing to shake her by the shoulders, "Something wonderful, fantabulous and AWESOME to da Xtreme has happened! Bobby has gone missing! Me and the remaining kids are gonna throw a party."

 

Lili was about to say something in responce but Milla rished down with a pen and a few papers in hand, "Bobby? I don't mind much really, but this is nothelping in our defence against this Tammy Shafer person. Raz, Lili, if you don't mind, please take these items to these people waiting in the parking lot."

 

"Huh?" Raz asked, "Why? What do they lookk like and who is Taammy Shafer?"

 

Lili tugged on his hand and led him to the gang in question, "You can't miss them, there's a guy in a fedora, another with wings, a strong-dude, another with a sword, a demon-lemur, two elfgirls, a furry and another who's watching a movie plus this rock with a crayola smiley face. They're weird even by our standards. As for Tammy Shafer..." Lili filled her confuzzled BF in.

 

(We need someone to be Raz!)

[Mashi An'krekku]

"And last I remember, the catgirl was thrown in a tree," Lili said, wrapping up her story as they arrived in the parking lot with the stack of papers.

"Oh, she's still there," Raz said, pointing at Mashi, who promptly meowed again. Lena was still LMFAO-ing.

"That's SO rich!" Lena perked an ear at Steve. "I know!"

Lili cleared her throat. "Hay, guys. We have paper things."

Mashi jumped out of the tree to see what. (Lena suddenly became sad. "I know, Steve. That was weird.") "Is this like- HEY IT'S RAZ." She hugged him.

"STAY FOCUSED!" Lena shouted, tossing Steve at her head.

*THUNK*

"Ow!"

[Miss_Mayhem]

Lili cleared her throat, "Though I'm not sure how much help it will be, i can feel someone's mental signature on these things. A woman, so i suppose Milla gave me a few items that Tammy Shafer came in contact with."

 

With another cold glare, she handed the pen and stack of papers to one of the elfgirls, "If Tammy Shafer is related to the dissapearinces and this helps find some of the missing kids, leave Bobby Zilch behind please."

[pyrohappygirl]

Pyro sniffed. She was all alone in the world. Except not really. So she flew to the main lodge where she found Darth and Sasha on the beanbags watching Silence of the lambs.

"YOU STOLE HIM FROM ME!!!" Pyro screamed, pulling Sasha away from Darth.

"Come, Sasha. Let us... Uh, do stuff," She said, pulling Sasha out of the room.

"But I want to talk to..."

"No buts. You are going to help ME save the world," Pyro grumbled. Sasha grimaced, hanging his head. Stepping outside, everything was quiet.

"This is very peculiar..." Sasha mumbled. Pyro glanced arund, before seeing someone hiding in shadows which had somhow appeared.

"Who are YOU?!?!" Pyro called.

"Pi is..."

"No! Not maths! It is my BIGGEST WEAKNESS!!!" Pyro screamed, crumpling to the ground.

"Haha," The cloaked figure laughed.

"No!" Sasha called as the hooded apparition telekinetically lifted up Pyro and carried her away. Sasha, being the responsible adult he was, decided to follow after them... Yes, folks. Pyro had been kidnapped by Anti-Tim.

[DarthAve]

"This calls for action!" Ave yelled wearing a Hannibal Lector costume. "I must eat someone! Specificaly the Anti-Tim!" She ran after Sasha and Pyro.

[Miss_Mayhem]

"What's going on?" Mayhem thought aloud once more. She, the rest of the RD gang, Lili, Raz and now Milla rushed to the source of the noise. What they saw froze them in their tracks. A hooded, feminine figure with long dark hair had Pyro! Feeling rushing back to their legs, they chased after the Anti-Tim, only to learn she was quite the fast runner. They sped after their quarry until they reached a lake, Tammy grimacing at her misfortune. A dead end and being surrounded at once!

 

Pyro whewed in releif and looked haughty with relief for a few moments, smiling at seeing her kidnapper ready to get what she had coming, seeing as the gang was ready to face off with whatever weapons they could get their hands on. Tammy turned, and they truly saw her for the first time. She was tall with pale skin and raven-black hair that went past her shoulders and concealed an eye. Her facial features were sharp and ruthless. Her thin, purple lips curled upwards in a smile as she raised a hand...and snapped her fingers.

 

At the sound, Bobby, Elka, Phoebe, Kitty, Maloof, Chloe and Chops jumped down from amongst the treetops and crowded Tammy.

 

Elton peered from behind a tree, "Hey...it's...it's..."

 

"The Missing kids!" Milla and Sasha yelled, sending psi-blasts to Tammy's way. But it didn't hit her. it hit...Kitty!? She had valiently stepped in the line of fire, now doubled over in pain. She raised her head and mumbled,

 

"No one harms our mistress."

 

This took everyone by shock, and Raz said, "Look at their eyes, they're all glowy and stuff, Tammy must be using mind control!"

 

"How observant," Miz Shafer said in a sultry voice with another cheeky grin, "Hairboy and Hairboy number 2...take them!"

 

Bobby and Chops advanced upon the group, going invisible and attacking with a barrage of psi blasts. Getting their grips together, no one was able to get a final glimpse of the Anti-Tim and her fellow goons who had simply vanished along with Pyro.

[DarthAve]

Elton was standing in front of Darth, getting ready to fishslap her.

 

"ELTON I'M SORRY!" Darth yelled. She lunged at Elton and began to eat his face, Lector style.

 

After elton's skeleton was vistable and everyone had stopped looking at Ave in horror, Ave ran after Schafer, carrying Elton's carcass to burn in traditional jedi manner.