[poetry] Bracelets and Prose

[Burnseyy]

Damn you BFA - I've been tempted ever since I saw your poetry!

 

So here's that 'proof' that my poetry is embarrassing

 

--

 

Bracelets and Prose

 

Classic times were those,

We spent, reciting prose

With laughter and phrases;

Rushing through life’s crazes.

 

That band you gave me -

With a smile to see -

It was black, white, intricate.

Was a godsend; a favourite.

 

Time wore it’s beauty,

As the strings hung, limply.

And the beads cried for attention,

Throughout the death-awaited tension.

 

The wrist is now, bare,

Hidden away from life’s impair.

Quiet, beaten;

With no hope to sweeten.

 

The classic times, alone,

We spent reciting prose.

But the laughter’s now faded

And we have ran out of pages.

[JAvatar80]

I like it.

 

I won't even attempt poetry....I'm embarrassed enough just by my stories.

 

I will admit my writing has improved since the last time I tried to write a story.....but emotional creativity is something I'm lacking.

[HIGH ON PIE 14]

Your poetry certainly is not embarrasing. I found it quite good. Now you have tempted me *runs to dig out old poetry* See what you started BFA?

 

Interesting that the last stanza does not use the AABB rhyme scheme as the rest do. Why is that - is there a deeper meaning or did you just say "screw the rhyme scheme?"

 

~HOP

[Burnseyy]

Your poetry certainly is not embarrasing. I found it quite good. Now you have tempted me *runs to dig out old poetry* See what you started BFA?

 

Interesting that the last stanza does not use the AABB rhyme scheme as the rest do. Why is that - is there a deeper meaning or did you just say "screw the rhyme scheme?"

 

~HOP

 

I didn't use AABB in the last stanza, to show the 'change' in the incident. I didn't really expect anyone to notice that, but well done

 

And you write poetry? Damn you BFA

[HIGH ON PIE 14]

Kinda...have not written in ages.

 

In my English class we had to read A LOT poetry. Them we had a quiz on about 70-80 poems and had to say the meter and rhyme scheme of all of them. Now its just a habit. That subtle change makes this poem even better.

 

Burnseyy is deep ...

 

~HOP

[Darth_Yuthura]

How can you say this is not that great? I think you touched some serious issues in a few lines. I can understand the basis for this poem and hope you still don't consider it a waste of time.

[Burnseyy]

In my English class we had to read A LOT poetry. Them we had a quiz on about 70-80 poems and had to say the meter and rhyme scheme of all of them. Now its just a habit. That subtle change makes this poem even better.

 

Burnseyy is deep ...

 

~HOP

 

I know what you mean with loads of poetry... but 70-80?! We only learned about 30, tops. Then again, we also learned a novel, persuade, describe and comprehension, and different comparison essay requirements. T_T I'm so glad I took English Lit in college!

 

Deep? No, no, just insane.

 

How can you say this is not that great? I think you touched some serious issues in a few lines. I can understand the basis for this poem and hope you still don't consider it a waste of time.

 

Meh, I just feel embarrassed about poetry, like anyone would, really, because it's personal. More than a story is, anyway. So I've tried to mask a few parts of it, with 'poetic lines' . Oh, how very emotional of me.

[bally3000]

i don't understand poetry its all a jumble of words with no meaning to me, i am not aiming this at this peom just all poems in genral. if u enjoy them great, i wish i could but i juust dnt get them lol!

[The_Catto]

:xp: :xp: :xp: :xp: [*Insert evil laugh* mwahaha, my evil plan of world domination is in its first stages!]

 

I re-he-he-HE-he-HE-heeeeallllly enjoyed this, Burnseyy! (See, just for future note: If I elongate words, its means that I am dead serious.)

 

Poetry, in my most, humble, of opinions, is one of the most emotional styles of writing that has ever graced this planet. It can really tell the characteristics of the person but how the words flow, the choice of words and the sense of feeling they put behind the writing.

 

I don't want to be TOO intrusive, ah hell, I do ... Why did you mask the words? It's personal, but to change the words can also change the meaning, hence forth, changing the entire setting of the poem.

 

 

The wrist is now, bare,

Hidden away from life’s impair.

Quiet, beaten;

With no hope to sweeten.

 

 

This really hit me for some reason. It reminded me of something that I tended to make myself forget, years ago, and this stanza seemed to bring it up again. It's not a bad thing, but .. I wouldn't say its neccessarily a GOOD thing. Well .. for me anyway.

 

But yeah .. That's one of the great things about poetry: people can relate to it, possibly even more than the person who wrote it.

 

This was a nice, well written piece Burnseyy. Well done. Well done, indeed!

 

PS: I also think that I see the start of something here... I may just have to find some other poems of mine and post!

 

Damn me! What have I done!!!!!

[LordOfTheFish]

I think is was good. Certainly not embarrassing...

[Burnseyy]

:xp: :xp: :xp: :xp: [*Insert evil laugh* mwahaha, my evil plan of world domination is in its first stages!]

 

I re-he-he-HE-he-HE-heeeeallllly enjoyed this, Burnseyy! (See, just for future note: If I elongate words, its means that I am dead serious.)

 

Poetry, in my most, humble, of opinions, is one of the most emotional styles of writing that has ever graced this planet. It can really tell the characteristics of the person but how the words flow, the choice of words and the sense of feeling they put behind the writing.

 

I don't want to be TOO intrusive, ah hell, I do ... Why did you mask the words? It's personal, but to change the words can also change the meaning, hence forth, changing the entire setting of the poem.

 

 

 

 

This really hit me for some reason. It reminded me of something that I tended to make myself forget, years ago, and this stanza seemed to bring it up again. It's not a bad thing, but .. I wouldn't say its neccessarily a GOOD thing. Well .. for me anyway.

 

But yeah .. That's one of the great things about poetry: people can relate to it, possibly even more than the person who wrote it.

 

This was a nice, well written piece Burnseyy. Well done. Well done, indeed!

 

PS: I also think that I see the start of something here... I may just have to find some other poems of mine and post!

 

Damn me! What have I done!!!!!

 

There's a lot of meaning behind that particular stanza, and it could mean a lot of things and I know what you mean, poetry is able to relate to anyone, despite the fact it was probably intended to mean something else. That's the beauty of it!

 

I doubt I'll post any more, but if I do, it won't be because of YOUR doing I'll post them if I want.

 

The reason I mask meanings is because I don't like poetry to be too straight forward. Because it isn't - it's complicated. Not simple. As are often the meanings behind them.

 

Thank you everyone for the comments and compliments! They're greatly appreciated.

 

Ps. You're not the only one who loves Scrubs, BFA.

[The_Catto]

Hahahaha, you caught me! [The first person ever I might add ]

Vintage Cox.

 

I hope you post some more, but, as said, its up to you.