leXX Posted May 22, 2009 Share Posted May 22, 2009 In celebration of 'Talk Like Yoda Day', Hurley's script present to you I shall. Awesome it is, enjoy it you dudes will. EMPIRE STRIKES BACK STAR WARS Episode V Script adaptation by Hugo Reyes Page 1 EXTERIOR HOTH -- DAY A little spy robot thingy zips through the atmosphere and crashes into the snowy planet below. That’s when Chewbacca shows up and blasts it away with his crossbow laser. He shakes his fury fist in the sky in triumph. CHEWBACCA: “Raaaaawwwwr.” A bundled up dude is mounted on a large white lama-like creature that kinda looks like a kangaroo with horns. He pulls off his snow googles to get a better look at Chewie examining some small wreckage. LUKE: "Echo 4 to Echo 8.... Dude. Han. Do you read me?" HAN: "Loud and clear, sunshine. What's up my man?" LUKE: "No readings out here, except whatever Chewy just blew up." HAN: "Whatever it was, it shouldn't mess with a wookie." ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Page 15 INTERIOR: REBEL BASE -- RECOVERY ROOM Luke sits up in a recovery-room bed, he's messed up from putting a hurt on the Gundark, but is smiling. HAN: "Farmboy, that's two you owe me." Han turns as Leia enters the room. He looks at her with a really really big grin. HAN: "Well your Worshipstress, looks like you managed to keep me around this wasteland for a little while longer. LEIA: I don't know where you get your delusions. I only ever liked you because your ship is awesome. Chewie laughs in his own cool animal way. HAN: Laugh it up, fuzz ball. You should have seen me and freckles in the south passage. She told me she totally wants to kiss you. Luke looks over at Leia. She looks at Luke. Then she looks at Han. Then back at Luke. LEIA: My...! Why, you little stuck up,...half-brained,...funny-looking... nerd-herder! HAN (looking at Luke): Who's funny looking? With that she leans over and DOES NOT KISS Luke on the lips. Then she high-fives Chewy, leaving everyone in the room slightly dumbstruck. Hurley's Star Wars Script - LOST ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Page 23 EXTERIOR: DAGOBAH -- YODA'S BACK YARD Luke is doing a handstand with the Force and like lifting up these rocks and boxes and R2 with his mind. YODA: Concentrate...feel the Force flow. Through the Force, crazy **** you will see. Luke sees some bad stuff and totally freaks out. LUKE: Dude! No way! R2 and the rocks and the boxes crash to the ground and Luke totally biffs his handstand. YODA: Again you screw up. Control you must learn. LUKE: I saw...I saw an island in the clouds. YODA: Mmm. Friends you have there. LUKE: They were all messed up and like, in jail. YODA: It is the island you see. LUKE: Dude, are they dead? YODA: Difficult to see. Always in motion is the island. LUKE: I've got to get back to the island! YODA: Nuts, are you? If you leave now, ass-kicking you will receive. Lose your hand you will. And suffer through Ewoks we all will. Relax. Hugo Calrissian and Chewy got this. Luke and Yoda ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Page 42 INTERIOR: CLOUD CITY -- CRYOGENIC FREEZING CHAMBER Four armored stormtroopers stand at the really big chamber, which is filled with pipes and high-tech looking things. There's awesome steam everywhere and it's really orange. It's one of the coolest sets ever. You just have to be there. HUGO CALRISSIAN: "Lord Vader, we only use this hatch for cryogenic freezing research on polar bears. If you put him in there, it'll totally kill him, dude." VADER: "Don't tell me what I can't do, Hugo. We were all brought here for a reason. (Breathes deep and it kinda sounds like haaaaa phoooo haaaa phoooo) But, you're right, maybe we should test it first. Tell Bobba Fett to get Solo in here. And the Falcon is so mine now." Hurley's Star Wars Script - LOST See Hurley's mention of the script in this Lost video clip: (This BBCode requires its accompanying plugin to work properly.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IG-64 Posted May 22, 2009 Share Posted May 22, 2009 Lost > all (This BBCode requires its accompanying plugin to work properly.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jrrtoken Posted May 22, 2009 Share Posted May 22, 2009 That was great. And yeah, Michael Emerson is badass; it's almost as if he and Chris Avellone were separated at birth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrWally Posted May 22, 2009 Share Posted May 22, 2009 Echo 4, 8 . . . Page 15, 23, and 42. WHERE'D 16 GO?!? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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