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Jar Jar in AotC!!!!!

Agen

By Agen
in Yoda’s Swamp

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$10BOOMBOOM Newbie

$10BOOMBOOM

Posted
Posted

So.....how do u want to kill Jar Jar....or if u like him how would u like to see him killed?? ;)

 

I personally would like to do the deed myself. I could pour liquid nitrogen over his ears and snap them off. "MISSA NOT LIKING THAT!!" Jar Jar screams incesantly. I then brandish his 2 ears like 2 machetes and begin the cut off his legs. Jar Jar is now rithing around on the floor, he is screaming at a pitch only dogs can hear. He is trying to get away.....crawling with only his arms, dragging himself along. I look down upon him and throw away his ears. " Jar Jar, are you in pain?"

"MISSA WANNA GET AWA..GAGGGGGGG" the rest of his words are being gagged by the internal bleeding welling up in his mouth.

I pull out my lightsaber and ignite it, and I look down and see the fear in Jar Jar's eyes. The urgency to get away are in his eyes, as tears cascade down his face. I point the end of the saber towards his left shoulder and slowly push it into the joint. Jar Jar could only lie there and take it. The smell of burning flesh became thick in the air, only pierced by the screams of Jar Jar. I withdrawl my saber only to place it somewhere else. " Jar Jar, open your mouth" Compliently Jar Jar opens up. " Jar Jar, u always were so hyper active, so lets see how still you can really be when u need to be" I place the saber in his mouth, not touching any of the flesh, but remaining in the middle. "Jar Jar, Im now going to cook your mouth. Slowly."

 

An hour passes, Jar Jar had not moved, nor have I. He had become more relaxed, although he wa obviously in some discomfort as his mouth had been cooked. " There, it should be done now". Jar Jar just looked up with his little puppy eyes. I withdrew the saber to jar jars liking, only to reach for the nearest of Jar Jar's ears. Before Jar Jar could react I had reached into his mouth and come out holding his tongue. I began to saw it off. It took 15 minutes, 15 long minutes for jar Jar to take. It was well cooked, but suculent and dripping in what only can be descibed as its own gravy. I took a bit out of it. It was chewy. Very Chewy. Jar Jar hadnt noticed yet that I was eating his tongue infront of him, his able arm placed covering his eyes from me, hoping I would go away. "Jar Jar" i said with a full mouth. " Your tongue tastes good." He lifts his head off the ground only to witness my second bite. He doesnt react, only placing his head back onto the ground. I see that my fun is over, so I cut off the remaining arm, just to make sure he has been given all the pain he can take. No reaction. I pick up his severed arms and beat him to death with them....." TAKE THAT JAR JAR!!" TAKE THAT........

 

well, thats my fantasy anyway, so lets hear yours.

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Guest Kurgan

Guest Kurgan

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Posted

I'd rather Jar Jar just have a cameo or two, and then just ignore him for the rest of the film. If he has to die, fine, but I'd rather just not have him all over the screen like in TPM.

 

Then again if they actually made him a mature character (not a disney cartoon sidekick) then he wouldn't be so bad.

 

Kurgan

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Philbo Newbie

Philbo

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A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away...

 

I was in WaldenBooks at the mall and saw another MAD Magazine. It had a 20-page feature of "The 20 Dumbest Things of 1999".

 

I think it was number 9 or something.

 

It was a poster created by one of the MAD guys...

 

...for Episode II.

 

They called it "Star Wars: Episode II - The Galaxy Rejoices".

 

The poster showed Obi-Wan cutting Jar-Jar's head off (on accident, apparently).

 

And it shows everyone's faces (Yoda, Mace-Windu, Boss Nass, Qui-Gon's ghost, Anakin, etc.) around this scene (in classic Star Wars style of course).

 

With their biggest smiles ever.

 

 

I wish that's what Episode II really was.

 

That would've been great.

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