K_Kinnison Posted December 6, 2001 Posted December 6, 2001 Some riddles for you all. To get a Elephant into a subway, you need to take the S out of "Sub", and the F out of "way" What driver doesn't have a license? now for some puns: Why do statues and paintings of George Washington always show him standing? Because he would never lie What kind of can never needs a can opener? A pelican I challange someone who can out pun me, in volume and quality
Keyan Farlander Posted December 6, 2001 Posted December 6, 2001 A driver (golf club) doesn't have a license. The first one wasn't a question, so I have no idea what it was about.
JR2000Z Posted December 6, 2001 Posted December 6, 2001 You dont need licences for go-carts either. Not to mention Power Wheels.
Wraith 5 Posted December 6, 2001 Posted December 6, 2001 K_K i think you have something wrong with the first one...
K_Kinnison Posted December 7, 2001 Author Posted December 7, 2001 the first one has slight problem with it... answer it, out loud and you wll get it.
Guest Conor Posted December 7, 2001 Posted December 7, 2001 Did you hear about the guy whose girlfriend liked scuba diving? She liked to get tanked. She was under a lot of pressure. They are trying to work things out but I'm not holding my breath.
Guest Conor Posted December 7, 2001 Posted December 7, 2001 Heh, I seem to have lost about a thousand of my posts.
Wraith 5 Posted December 7, 2001 Posted December 7, 2001 I don't know K_K unless it is missing about 2 words...
Metallus Posted December 7, 2001 Posted December 7, 2001 Heh, I hope that's supposed to sound like I think it sounds, because then it would make that riddle somewhat amusing.
Guest Conor Posted December 7, 2001 Posted December 7, 2001 Did you hear about the grizzly who almost fell off a cliff? He bearly hung on.
Ikhnaton Posted December 7, 2001 Posted December 7, 2001 There was once this lawyer who liked hunting but wasn't yet as experienced as he should be. One year he decided to get himself the best hunting guide there was, and after looking around, he found this Czech man who was the best, hired his services and the next week they were off hunting in Alaska. The hunter and his guide came across two large grizzly bears all of a sudden, a male and a female. Without warning, the male bear gobbled up the guide whole. The lawyer could hear the guide crying for help from inside the bear and so he ran off to find help. After a short while, he returned with a Ranger, pointed at the male bear and said "he's in there!" The Ranger immediately shot the female bear. The lawyer, stunned, asked "why did you do that? I said he was in the other one!" The Ranger replied, "Do you honestly expect me to believe a lawyer when he says the Czech's in the male?" . . . . What happens when you don't pay your Excorcist? you get re-possessed.
Rogue Nine Posted December 8, 2001 Posted December 8, 2001 Oy...these jokes reach unprecedented levels on the corniness charts.
Nitro Posted December 8, 2001 Posted December 8, 2001 Still, not much beats my TRUE mass debate story...
JR2000Z Posted December 8, 2001 Posted December 8, 2001 Originally posted by Ikhnaton THERE IS NO 'F' IN 'WAY'!!! Just like there is no 'h' in 'whoa'?
K_Kinnison Posted December 9, 2001 Author Posted December 9, 2001 ike got it well, scuba puns? sure she smelled so good, he wanted to breather at the underwater alphabet factory, she made Bub's L's instead of throwing his girlfriend, he flipper (and one more to beat) the underwater bar was a dive bear puns: If he has a maw, have you sean his paw? what do you get when you cross bill the cat, with kathy lee's son? Cody, ack! tune in tommarrow where i try to beat Ike
Guest Conor Posted December 9, 2001 Posted December 9, 2001 Did you hear about the new guy at the hitman amateur comedy night? He was knocking them dead.
Rogue Nine Posted December 9, 2001 Posted December 9, 2001 *mind implodes with the sheer amount of bad puninness infecting the thread*
Nitro Posted December 9, 2001 Posted December 9, 2001 True story from my Journalism class... We were talking about different pronunciations of words, and the Canadian/British pronuciation of Lieutenant as Leftenant. Vanessa: But there's no 'f' in Lieutenant... ? Mr. Campbell: Well, then find him!
Flying Beastie Posted December 10, 2001 Posted December 10, 2001 ROTFLMSH!!! Here's one of mine: TEACHER: Martial arts like karate originated in feudal Japan, when the unarmed farmers had to find ways to defend themselves from Chinese invasions. ME: So you're saying the resistance was feudal? <small>You kinda have to know Star Trek to get it.</small>
edlib Posted December 10, 2001 Posted December 10, 2001 *Gouges both eyes out with a nearby plastic spork rather than suffer the merest possibility of reading another one of these puns* Ahhh... blessed relief!
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