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Dumbest thing your mom has ever said


Guybrush122

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Top ten:

 

10) Dont be a punk rocker, theyre mean

9) Shes got a b!tchin' bod

8) I wanna bounce

7) You look cool

6) I know youre just trying to be trendy with this "punk look"

5) I be like woa

4) Chris, do you smoke the smack?

3) You can't die your hair anymore, people will think youre uncool

2) Jesus H. Christmas O' Riley!

1) It's ok, you can tell me, when I was your age I smoked the smack too

 

What's your top ten?

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1) Paul, how do I get the screensaver off?

2) It's great that you don't want to be cool!

3) Who are this Iron Maiden anyway?

4) Why are you staring at that guitar? Is it good or something?

5) What kind of game is this Monkey Island then?

6) You'll get chucked out on your arse if you die your hair green.

7) Do people not hate that jacket?

8) Oooooh, ABBA is great!

9) Do people not think your un-cool?

10) What is this Dogpile.com then?

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1) "how do u get the screensaver off (i got taht 1 too!!! :eek::D)"

 

2) "That's cool!!! ... isnt it?"

 

3) "Hold this lamp up here and go get that scisor in the kictchen"

 

4) "Life is like a candy box, u never foget! No wait, that's the bicicle one... Life is like a candy box, you... hum... doesnt matter, my point is..."

 

5) "The remote control is broken!" 'Mom, thats my calculator!'

 

6) [for portuguese speakers:] "Não cúspa a sua irmã!"

 

7) "No1 has the right to tell people wot to do, so dont do it!"

 

8) "Can you fix this lamp for me? It wont turn on." 'Dad, thats one of those lamps u clap' "Wot?! u bough one of those? u cant spend that much money!" 'Dad, i ddnt buy anything, we have that since i was born!!!'

 

9) This is an old favorite: "Go to your room and dont say a word!" 'Ok' "Ok is a word" 'Actually, its an abraviation of 2 words. u see there was this guy called Oliver Ksomething, and he worked for some famous company. When the product was good, he would right OK on it. Then ppl started copying him. The End' "Oh... ok then."

 

10) There is a All u can eat restaurant near my house, next to a post office. My dad cant eat too much, but he always goes there. The other day I met him going to the restarant. 'Dad, r u going to the restaurant?' "No, i m going to the post office". He comes home 1h later full mustard in his shirt. 'Dad, u went to the restaurant! Its all over ur shirt!' "This? No! those damn stamps dripping and stuff"

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some years ago i got 2 like those:

1 w my dad, and 1 w my mom.

 

this friend of mine, she knew her parents were going through her room, but she couldnt prove it, so she got a little plastic bag and put some oregan in it. so her mom came to get her in school and she was crying and like "y r u doing this to me" and she s like. were u going through my room?" and her mom was so funny: she was crying and saying "no, a little birdy told me"

:D :D :D

shes really funny

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10) Wait, the boy that comes over and eats our food is your Boyfriend?

9) Becky Ross. The Becky Ross that's your best friend?

8) "Who is this person?" "I'm not sure.." "Is it a friend of yours?"

7) ME: This kid threw my watch down the stairs

Mom: How did your watch break?

me: you could pretend to listen you know.

6) **** lindsay, if you keep swearing, i'm going to f*ck you up.

5) Is this punk music? *While listening to Barenaked Ladies*

4) Did you know Michael Jackson used to be black?

3) Aaron Carter? The same aaron that calls here every weekend?

2) You used to watch teenage mutant ninja turtles when you were 5.

1) I once did weed. It was fun. And we never got caught.. But that doesn't mean it was fun, or worth it... and I'll catch you.

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LOL @ frenchy............oh man, that was freakin hilarious....

 

today:

 

Mom: Who are you talking to?

Me: My friend online

Mom: What's his name?

Me: Niko

Mom: Oh, I see, the "supposed" Niko.......be careful, you know what might happen

Me: He's from israel!!

Mom: Ahh yes, this "supposed" Isreal....well, just because hes from Israel doesnt mean hes from Israel

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For a split second- I thought your mum (mom) was talking to NiKo, I nearlly died.

 

One thing my mum always says that's really annoying when she wakes me up is "Natty Natty Anne it's the wakey wakey time"

 

Ohhhh I like him, he has a nice arse (now the guy she'll be perving on is like 20, my mum is over 50)

 

This is a bouncy tune- who sings this?

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lol@guybush and frenchy

 

frenchys mom sounds like Homer Simpson for some reason.

and GB's like Cartmans mom.... ;):D

 

hmmm...i never listened to my mom's stupid sayings.

 

today i'll walk around the house with a notepad and a pen and write down everything she says....

 

 

once again, roflmao for GB's mom. she's funny :D

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oh no frenchy's isn't great till you heard my top 10. (yes i love the barnaked ladies too)

 

1 (when i'm on the internet) Mom: Get off the phone i need to use the interent

translation: Get the HELL off the interent and let me use the phone before i kick your ass. And don't you dare confuse me again

2. when my mom is sleep talking: We the PEOPLE! Send us back you DUMMY! (honestly it happened)

3. Why can't you make some MORE freinds

4. "All you do is ****, EAT,SLEPP AND PLAY ON THAT COMPUTER

5. there is no ****ing way your gonna be on that computer. I'm signing you up for communtiy service at the library(honestly it happened!)

6. (we a get a 50cent candy bar every 2 months NOT EVEN) You kids are so lucky these days when i was younger i didn't GET anything. Next day late. During my life as a kid i was so fat from eating treats

7. me:Mom what ever happened to all of my stuff. I gave it away to st. vincent de paul. (i have NITHING IN MY ROOM except a monopoly game which i don't play) Also i had a laser tag game and i only used it in the summer and you can't reall use it in the winter.SO i played with it all summer and suring the winter she gave it away. I was like MOM YOU CAN"T GIVE IT AWAY YOU CAN ONLY USE IT IN THE SUMMER! Well i'm sure some boy is enjoying it right now. Same with my pokemon cards(long time ago) I spent my own money raising a collection and she gave it away. I had $100 cards. I had the second rarest card in the WORLD and she gave it ALL away for $20.

8. "What's up with that?"

9. Those jeans are way to long and way to dark. Get something lighter.

10. (mom comes back from her room and enters the living room and it's at night and i'm tired)

Filipe(my name) Can you go get the Lotion in my room?

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Originally posted by yours truly

hmmm...i never listened to my mom's stupid sayings.

 

today i'll walk around the house with a notepad and a pen and write down everything she says....

 

 

 

okay, this is what i got so far...

 

*Niko, pass the salt please

*can you go get some milk from the store?

*whats on TV?

*can you take out the trash?

*can you take out the dog?

*how was school today?

*its cold today.

 

 

heh, thats some crazy mom i got there eh?

crazy ol' mom....

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I had some fun yesterday, I was wrapping my friends chrissy pressies. Anyway, I was wrapping my gay friends present, which I bought him a g-string with a big furry monkey head on the front (hehehehehe me is looking forward to seeing him wear them) and a lil squishy penis keyring. So I'm getting out the wrapping paper, and I'm wrapping another friends before I'm wrapping cheesy poofs :D So my mum is looking at the monkey, and wants to know what it is

 

*holding it up*

me- it's rossy's christmas present

*mum almost passes out*

mum- what the hell is it?

me- a monkey g-string

*mum looking disgusted, but trying not to laugh*

mum- in my day we would never have thought of getting something like that for our friends at Christmas...

*brother walks in and sees the keyring*

brother- hey Nat? when did you get a dildo?

*I turn bright red- obviously*

mum- she got a what? what's a dildo?

me- it's not a dildo, it's a keyring

*takes out keyring and shows everyone*

brother- oh that's ok, mum you don't wanna know what a dildo is... are you giving that to Ross for christmas?

mum- I still can't believe what you're giving him for Christmas, in my day it would have been unheard of to give such dirty Christmas presents to our friends

 

 

And then later on, she found the chocolate covered condoms that me and my best friend were gonna give him as well (we thought they were edible- ended up being some cheap crap, so we decided not to, we went halves on his pressie coz it was so expensive, and we're cheap :D)

 

mum- where did these condoms come from?

me- well ummmm me and Renata were gonna give em to Ross for Christmas

mum- along with the monkey and the keyring?

me- ummm... yeah

mum- you know I don't like this sex business, but I suppose it's safe sex, so I can't complain too much

 

She then walked off

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Originally posted by Admiral Casaba the 3rd

the xxx LOL that's funny. but it happens to me everyday to. And honestly is Natty gay? If so i'm really homophobic and i'll kick his ass. gays are the only thing i hate more than pirates and also the ocassional "Where is the beandip?" Those sons of a %*^#& Beandip people. why i ought to.............

 

I'm looking forward with great expectations to Nattys answer! :D

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