Connecting two unlike things--a game.

[superthrawn]

Well, contrary to the several nasty rumors and the general consensus, I can have fun, and all my posts don't circulate around debating and the controversial. So, with that in mind, I bring forth my next offering: Connecting Two Unlike Things. I'm not sure whether or not I've posted this here before, I might have. Anyway, the game is simple. I'll begin by giving you two things that are very different, and you must tell me how they are related. Then you leave the next person something to relate. For example, let's say what was left was this: Scissors and an Apple.

 

Scissors are sharp.

Apples have skins.

Some people don't like apple skins.

Therefore, they must cut off the apple skins.

They do this with a knife.

Knives are sharp.

 

There you have it, that's the basic gist of the game. The more twisted and humorous you can make it, the better. All that's left is for me to begin. So, the first topic will be:

 

Subterranean aquifers and math quizzes.

 

Let's see what you make of that one! Don't forget to leave one for the next person.

[Gold leader]

Sorry to interrupt this game, but a subterranean aquifer is pleonasm. And I think it's a bit daft to connect a pleonasm and math quizzes together. So I propose to try it with "referee" and "greenhouse". Anyone?

[Taarkin]

Subterrianian aquifiers do something with water, as do moisture vaporators.

Vaporators are programmed by a computer language, Bocce or something.

Bocce is similar to the language of binary load lifters.

Binary is a number system.

Number systems appear on math quizzes.

 

 

 

A WWI-stlye railgun and montery jack cheese.

[Keyan Farlander]

Montery Jack cheese is tasty.

A WWI-stlye railgun allows you to kill someone.

If you kill someone, you can eat their heart, to gain their courage. Their rich, tasty courage...

 

You can all thank Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth for that one

 

A mitten and an x86 assembler.

[Taarkin]

A mitten goes on your hand.

Your hand is controled by a complex series of muscles which recieve electrical impulses from the brain via neurons.

The impulses must jump a gap betwee nneurons called a synapse.

I had to look up "neurons" because I couldn't remember what a synapse was called.

I also had to look up "x86 Assembler".

 

 

Spiral binding and blemish control

[Zargon]

a sprial binding holds the cover of a notebook on. A notebook cover hides the notes. Blemish control hides blemishes.

 

 

How about Nuclear Waste and Niner's panties?

[Cmdr. Cracken]

Nuclear waste is harmful to the surrounding enviroment.

The surrounding enviroment cannot tolerate delacte inblanaces due to the hazzards of Nuclear waste.

Nuclear watse therefore is a severe bio-hazard to all living matter.

Niner's panites are comparable to Nuclear Waste, due to the horrendious stench that is produced by Niner's Panties.

 

 

 

Wristwatches and condoms

[Zargon]

dude thats SO EASY.....

 

Both are worn on male appendages

 

 

mating paterns of the migrant european swallow and and superthrawn's growing anyurism

[Taarkin]

Swallows are birds, and so are ****s. One slang phrase for an orgasm is an "exploding ****". An ayneurism is an exploding blood vessel.

 

a YT-1300 and the Chosin Reservoir.

[superthrawn]

(I have an anyurism!?)

 

Easy: A YT-1300 is a space ship. A space ship is like a water ship, except in space. A water ship is on water. A resivoir holds water.

 

hmm... Here's a good one: The planet Venus and Karl Marx.

[Admiral Odin]

easy.

 

The planet Venus, is named after the Greek goddess of love. She got people to love each other, but wasn't always succesful.

 

Karl Marx, in his communist manifesto wanted to overthrow the wealthy, and end capitalism, In the end, wanted every to love each other, he also failed.

 

OR

 

Venus is a toxic world, and if humans ever went there without protection they would die. Karl Marx is the father of Socialism/Communism. Communist Leaders, generally kill many people.

 

Conclusion they are both hazardous to your health, and both failures.

 

Now: Black holes and teachers.

[Flying Beastie]

A black hole is a fathomless gaping abyss that consumes anything that draws near and from which there is no escape. Matter entering a black hole forms an accretion disk, marking the visible extents of the gravity well and the event horizon. Due to the incredible gravimetric pressures, spacetime curves as it nears the event horizon, causing Einsteinian time dilations. In layman's terms, when an object approaches a black hole, time itself slows down (as it does in a particularly boring class).

 

Also, it was through such an event that the High Guard starship Andromeda Ascendent was held in effective stasis for 300 years and survived the fall of the Systems Commonwealth. After re-emerging from the gravity well, the Andromeda now represents some of the highest technology and culture present in the Known Worlds, much like a space-operatic version of Plato's Philosopher King.

 

I just finished studying Plato in Political Philosophy class.

 

Next: Small furry mammals and quantum subspace mechanics.

 

(This should be very easy for any longtime XWA.net posters.)

[Gold leader]

Piece o' cake. Quantum subspace mechanics dictate that a school of space tuna should be eaten one by one. The only creature capable of eating a meal of space tuna and survive, is a space dolphin. The most famous space dolphin is of course Wally, an expert philospher about a wide variety of subjects. He used to transfer his infinite wisdom and knowledge to our forums via a small furry mammel, known as a "bunny", which operated here under the alias Zoom Rabbit (suspected of having connection problems for 4 months already. )

 

dial-up connections and forest fires

[K_Kinnison]

Forest Fires rage thru the us every year destryoing millions of acres every year often started by idiots who don't know any better

 

Dial-up connections are favored by those same people that don't know any better or cannot afford anything except AOL and tend to cause many computers and servers crashing and wasting millions of man hours every day.

 

THe people who use Dial-up connections cause forest fires

 

Next up: Nazi Death camps and Teletubbies

[edlib]

Living in a Nazi Death Camp can cause psycopathic episodes, a lifetime of nightmares, and lead someone to wish for death rather than live with the horror.

 

Watching an hour of the Teletubbies has a similar effect, albeit far, FAR worse.

 

 

Next: Mao Tse Tung and N'Sync

[Taarkin]

Torture under Mao's rule can cause psycopathic episodes, a lifetime of nightmares, and lead someone to wish for death rather than live with the horror.

 

Listening to an hour of N'sync has a similar effect, albeit far, FAR worse.

 

 

Richard Simmons and the X-Men.

[edlib]

The X-Men, being superheroes, appear in public concealing thier identities in wild, flamboyant costumes, that to an outside observer, who did not realize what they were all about, might believe they were rather fruity.

 

Richard Simmons IS rather fruity.

 

Next: Pop-Up Ads and Chocolate Ice Cream

[Taarkin]

Popup ads can be disabled via active scripting. A script is used in movies. Old movies used chocolate syrup as fake blood. Some people put chocolate syrup on chocolate ice cram, though I find it redundant.

 

a full moon and diazinon

[K_Kinnison]

A full moon is often linked to Lunatics, lunatics used to be taken and put into instatutions. instatutions normalyl do not care much about cleanlilyness, Bugs tend to thrive in dirty areas. Now Lunatics are given drugs and the bugs hae died out

 

diazinon is an incecticide and makes bugs die.

 

 

Next up: "The land of Oz" and Despotisum

[Rebel Loyaltist]

The land of Oz had small people

In despostisum everone is below the leader so they are small.

 

Rebel Loyaltist and Acid Rain

[Taarkin]

I would not want either anywhere near my daughter.

 

 

Tylenol and Greek tragedy

[Zargon]

Greek Tragedy is about pschological pain and suffering....Tylenol 3 can cloud that if mixed with hard liquor

 

Next up:

 

Anvil's and edible panties

[Rebel Loyaltist]

Edlib's panties have a load in them and hence they are heavy. An anvil is also heavy.

 

Lets see sense someone answered my name so quickly I change it up a little.

 

Rebel Loyaltist Supasta! and Power Plant ID Card

[Zargon]

both are worthless unless you work in a powerplant.......then the card is worth something

 

I don't understand the 'have a load in them' thing man, wtf is that?

[Taarkin]

Rebel Loyaltist Supasta is an obomination of humanity and needs to be wiped out ASAP. Since his precise location is secret. the only way to cleanse his presence is with a nuclear disaster. to initiate such a disaster, one must infiltrate a nuclearplant with an ID card.

 

A supply curve and the Florida Marlins.